Chapter 34 Bottoms Up
Bottoms Up
“You’re just in time,” Tisvali noted upon my entry into the well-lit kitchen. To my relief, he met my funny walk only with an amused smile. He was prepared–he knew.
I tried not to blush and focused instead on my surroundings.
The kitchen was a small round room with many niches in the walls.
Some were sealed with vines for insulation, while others boasted neatly arranged sets of silver utensils, glasses, and plates.
A round stone table stood in the center of the kitchen.
Two glass bowls of food–one holding an egg–and three crystal glasses were waiting for me.
“I was starting to worry that the tea would get completely cold before you could make it,” Tisvali added.
“What’s with all the liquids?” I leaned over the table between two moss-covered stone seats and took a peek–and a sniff.
Given how solid the contents of two of the glasses looked, I wouldn’t call them tea. More like smoothies. The vegetable-based, gross-looking kind of smoothies. The third glass contained water.
“I will explain, just wait a second while I go grab you a cushion.” He was out of the kitchen in a flash.
Was he making fun of me or being truly considerate of the state of things between my thighs? Not that I cared at this point. I didn’t even try to sit before he came back with two cushions.
He placed a cushion on each of the two seats. “There. This should improve things somewhat.”
“You need a cushion, too?”
He nodded. “You won’t be able to tell the difference, but Karim’s chairs used to be more comfy before the war started. Since then, we haven’t had much time to sit together, so he has been a bit neglectful of the moss in here. I’m not subjecting my buns to that.”
I smiled. Tisvali may claim otherwise, but I could tell he was using a cushion to make me feel less awkward. He was a sweet guy, and I was glad we got to spend time together. Having him as a friend might be possible after all, now that I was here to stay.
Tisvali, now seated, pointed at the first glass on the left.
“That is a present from Borella. I saw your reaction when you smelled it and, yes, it tastes as bad as it smells. I should know: my moss partner forced me to try it once as punishment for having gotten carried away… You know.” He all but ducked behind the cover of his hair as he said it.
“So it helps with the soreness?”
“Yes. A lot, according to Borella.”
“I’ll suck it up, then.” I took the glass, pinched my nose, and drank it in three gulps.
“Wow, you’re tough.” Seeing how my eyes bulged and watered once I put down the empty glass, he shoved the second one in my hand. “To keep it down.”
Thank heavens for his quick reaction. I had no wish to have to clean that vile stuff from the floor.
“Holy moly.” I took a long inhale after I’d chugged the water in one go. How often did Borella have to go through this round of the Fear Factor show?
Thankfully, I wouldn’t have to anymore. During our bath, Karim had explained to me that the only reason he’d been a bit rough with me at first was his knowledge of she-elves.
They needed it hard to reach completion.
Now that we were on the same page about what I needed in the bedroom, there would be no walking side to side for me.
Well, not unless Karim and I got carried away again, lost in passion. Heat bloomed in my belly at the memory. He had been incredible.
“What about this tea?” I asked before my dirty mind could get me sidetracked. “Is it 10 out of 10 on the disgusting scale again?”
Tisvali chuckled but grew serious afterward. “You don’t have to drink this one. It is entirely up to you. Borella and Deidre both claim it doesn’t taste bad, just leafy. But I can get you extra water just in case. Should you choose to drink the tea, of course. It’s really up to you.”
That didn’t sound suspicious at all. I brought the glass to my nose for a sniff. “What is it?” I could distinguish some herbs, but that was about it.
“It’s from Karim. If you want privacy, I will go back to my book on the sofa. Whether you choose to drink the tea or pour it into the river drain over there, I will never know. And it is none of my business. Do eat all the food, though; it is not everyday that I cook spinach lasagna.”
He was up and halfway to the exit before I could realize he was leaving, inhuman speed and all.
“Tis!”
He stopped and looked back at me, his grinning self back. “No one calls me Tis, human. Except Karim, and only when he wants me to kill something. And, lately, also when he wants me to be carried around by a gargoyle. So no Tis. Tisvali will do just fine.”
I smiled back. “Got it. But the same goes for human. Call me Jasmine, please.”
“Fair enough,” he bowed his head, “Jasmine. Just don’t expect me to call you Princess after you get braid-linked to our Prince.”
“Gosh, no!” I laughed at the very idea of me having a title.
I was impressed that Karim had already told his friend the news. Or had Tisvali known all along, just like Deidre, that Karim and I would get together?
“I’ll leave you to your meal.”
“Tisvali, you still haven’t told me what this last tea is for?”
There he went again, trying to hide behind the free-falling locks of his green hair. “It’s from Karim.”
“Which means? Sorry, but you know we humans are so unknowing.”
“You’re going to make me spell it out for you, aren’t you?
” He sighed. “You want Karim’s seed to take hold and bear fruit?
You throw the tea away. You want your garden watered but nothing growing there as a result?
You drink that tea within one day after all the watering has been done.
” A deep exhale. “Please tell me I can go now? I need privacy myself after this.”
His reaction to the topic of contraception was funny, but I let him leave without a word. Not only because I didn’t want to embarrass him further, but also because I was too dumbfolded. At my own stupidity.
Apparently, when it came to Karim and me, I wasn’t just acting like someone inexperienced, blushing and being shy and all. I was also being completely careless with the consequences of my actions. I hadn’t once stopped to think about what happens when you have unprotected sex with an elf.
Karim, on the other hand, had considered the matter. Despite the Queen’s wishes, he was giving me a way out of the situation. The freedom to choose.
The choice of whether to have a child wasn’t mine alone, however. I believed Karim and I had to take that decision together the next time we made love. Then, if we chose, the seed would be planted knowingly–to grow in the right conditions and bloom at the right time.
As for the case at hand… “Bottoms up.”
Once I drank the morning-after tea, I downed a full glass of water to wash the leafy aftertaste. Then I called Tisvali over, because I didn’t want to have breakfast alone. He didn’t seem to mind keeping me company and was pleased to see his cooking skills were much appreciated.
I offered him half an egg, but he refused. I ate it with gusto, just like I did his vegan lasagna.
“Jesus, Jasmine. You want to get me mauled? If Karim comes home and hears the sounds coming from the food chamber, he’ll think the worst.”
I giggled and kept moaning around each mouthful.
When Karim eventually returned, he found me on the moss and Tisvali on the ground next to the bed, playing dirty.
In other words, we were playing cards with dirty tricks throughout the game. Not surprisingly, those cards had been stolen from trespassers.
“You are good at this,” Tisvali was saying. “If the Prince finds out, I won’t see you anytime soon.”
“Why?”
“Because, my flower,” sounded from the entrance, “you will be too busy playing cards with me.”
“Karim!”
How did he always appear out of nowhere, not a single sound made, every time someone was talking about him? Yet another of the Kingdom’s mysteries that I wanted to unravel. But right now I was more focused on the heated look he was giving me. Yes, I missed you, too.
“He calls himself the best player in all the kingdoms,” Deidre proclaimed as she peeked over Karim’s shoulder. “But that’s only because there are a handful of elves who know how to play this human game.”
Her hair, now gently brushing her shoulders, made her look more carefree. The new haircut suited her, and I would make sure she knew it the first chance I got.
“I am very good at cards, Deidre.” Karim came to sit by my side, the tips of his hair gliding along my back where no one could see the intimate touch. Sneaky elf.
Deidre scoffed and passed a hand through her tresses, although no hair was out of place. She had a playful glint in her eyes as she sat beside Tisvali, so I knew all was good between her and Karim.
“My only problem is that I don’t know when to stop,” he went on. “I love playing cards.”
“You also love ripping dresses,” I blurted out. I blushed at my daring statement, but there was no going back now. So I finished with, “I know the perfect solution. Ever heard of strip poker?”
Judging by the looks on their faces, they hadn’t played that game.
Not that I had played it, but with Karim I totally would, in private. All I needed were extra layers of clothing; otherwise, the game would be over after a single dealing.
I giggled at the innocent curiosity on their faces. “Oh, you elves are so unknowing.”