Chapter 25
Sabine
The door closed behind them with a click that felt like a cattle prod. I stood frozen in the center of my bedroom, suddenly aware of the invisible eyes still watching me. Where was it hidden? Behind the mirror? In the light fixture? I couldn't destroy what I couldn't find.
I lunged for my clothes, yanking them on layer by layer. Jeans. Sweater. Socks. Even a jacket, though the room wasn't cold. Each piece of fabric felt like armor, though pathetically inadequate.
Again, I paced the length of the room, five steps one way, five steps back. My jaw clenched so tight my teeth might crack. My hands trembled, but not from fear. This was rage, building like ice in my veins, cold and sharp and dangerous.
"Protocol," Kara had said, like that explained everything. Like that made it okay.
Every moment since I'd arrived replayed in my mind with sickening clarity.
When Ellie touched me at the bottom of the stairs, her hand lingering just a second too long—had someone been watching through the camera?
When Cam leaned against my bathroom mirror while I.
.. God. Had they all gathered around some monitor, watching me touch myself?
My skin crawled. I needed a shower but wouldn't give them the satisfaction. Not now. Not ever again.
They'd seen everything. Every tear I'd shed thinking I was alone. Every moment I'd let my guard down. Every time I'd changed clothes or stretched or scratched or just existed, thinking I had privacy.
No wonder they always knew exactly what to say, exactly how to calm me down. It wasn't intuition or empathy or whatever bullshit connection I thought we were building.
It was surveillance.
I stopped pacing and stared at the invisible camera I couldn't locate. My heart pounded in my chest, but the rest of me felt ice cold as the violation settled into my bones.
A gentle knock interrupted my silent fury. Three soft raps against the wood, hesitant.
"Sabine? Dinner's ready."
I didn't answer. My jaw ached from clenching it so hard.
The door opened anyway. Ellie stood in the doorway, her eyes widening slightly at the sight of me fully dressed, standing rigid in the center of the room.
"You need to eat something," she said, her voice soft in that way that had once seemed caring. Now it just sounded calculated.
I stared at the wall behind her left shoulder. My silence filled the room like concrete, hardening between us.
"We can talk about this," she tried again, taking a half-step into the room. "Please, Sabine."
"No." The word fell from my lips like a stone. "Leave me alone."
I turned away from her, arms crossed over my chest. The fabric of my jacket rustled, too loud in the quiet room.
"I'm not hungry," I added, my voice flat and dead.
Ellie lingered in the doorway for several seconds. I could feel her eyes on my back, assessing, analyzing. Probably reporting everything back to the others through some hidden earpiece.
"Dinner's on the table when you're ready," she finally said. The door closed behind her with a soft click.
My stomach growled, betraying me. I pressed a hand against it, furious at my own body for its weakness.
They wanted me to stay here, trapped in this room like a sulking child. That was exactly what I wouldn't do. I wouldn't hide. I wouldn't cower.
I straightened my spine, squared my shoulders, and walked to the door. I would face them on my terms.
I stepped into the hallway, heading for dinner and the confrontation that waited there.
I stepped into the kitchen with my spine rigid as steel. Kara looked up from her seat at the head of the table, her expression carefully neutral. Ellie and Cam exchanged a quick glance that spoke volumes. They didn't think they'd done anything wrong.
I sat without a word, pulling the chair across the hardwood floor with a screech that made Ellie wince.
Cam stood at the stove, flipping grilled cheese sandwiches like a practiced line cook. The rich scent of butter and toasted bread filled the air, mingling with the sweet-acidic aroma of tomato soup. My stomach growled traitorously.
When Cam approached with the serving platter, I took the spatula from her hand before she could serve me. Our fingers brushed for half a second. I kept my face blank as stone.
The soup ladle clinked against the side of my bowl. I focused on the ripples spreading across the surface of the red liquid, refusing to look at any of them.
"Sabine," Kara began, her voice carrying that authoritative tone that usually commanded attention.
I took a bite of my sandwich. The cheese stretched between my teeth and the bread, but I might as well have been eating cardboard. I chewed methodically, eyes fixed on my plate.
Silverware scraped against ceramic. Someone cleared their throat. I heard Ellie shift in her chair, the wood creaking beneath her.
I put my spoon down, looked up at Kara with eyes I made sure held nothing, then resumed eating.
The silence stretched like an overtightened wire. I could feel it vibrating with tension, ready to snap.
"We need to discuss this," Kara said finally. Her fingers tapped once against the tabletop, betraying her frustration.
I took another bite. Chewed. Swallowed.
"This isn't sustainable," Ellie whispered, her voice small and hurt. As if she were the wounded party here.
I gave them nothing. Not a word. Not a glance. Not even a change in my breathing pattern. They had taken enough from me already.
The pressure built with each passing minute. Kara's jaw tightened, her usual composure beginning to crack. Cam sat unnaturally still, only the muscle jumping in her cheek revealing her discomfort. Ellie fidgeted with her napkin, folding and unfolding it with nervous fingers.
I remained ice. Untouchable. Unmovable. Silent as the grave they'd dug for themselves.
The kitchen door swung open. Alex strolled in, pulling her dark hair free of its bun. She grabbed a bowl and spoon without looking at any of us.
"Sorry I'm late. Had to finish that perimeter check." She ladled soup, glanced up, and froze. Her eyes darted from face to face before landing on me. "What's going on?"
Kara cleared her throat. "Sabine found the surveillance equipment."
Alex's spoon clinked against her bowl as she set it down. She looked at me, brows drawn together in confusion, then at Kara, then back to me. The confusion in her eyes shifted to something worse: dismissal.
She shrugged. "So?"
My blood turned to ice, then fire.
"What did you expect?" Alex continued, reaching for a sandwich. "This is protective custody, not a vacation rental."
The casual way she said it. The slight eye roll. The absolute conviction that I was being unreasonable.
Something inside me snapped.
My spoon clattered against my plate. The sound rang through the kitchen like a gunshot. I pushed back from the table, chair legs scraping across hardwood. The others flinched at the noise.
I stood, hands flat on the table, leaning forward. My heart hammered against my ribs. Heat crawled up my neck and spread across my face. Three pairs of eyes widened in alarm.
Alex just looked annoyed, sandwich halfway to her mouth.
I opened my mouth and the volcano erupted.
I looked at Alex, my hands shaking against the table. My voice came out low and brittle.
"You don't see why I'm upset? Standard protocol?" The words hissed through my clenched teeth. "You've been watching me. In my bedroom. In the bathroom."
My voice rose until my throat burned raw. "Every time I changed clothes. Every time I cried. Every private moment I thought I had for eight days."
I turned to Kara, who sat rigid at the head of the table. "Tell me you never watched me undress on those monitors."
She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly.
"You knew." The soup bowl blurred as tears threatened. "You knew the whole time." My words tumbled out faster, tripping over themselves as heat crawled up my neck. "You touched me knowing you had been watching me like I was some kind of..." I choked on the words, my lungs suddenly empty.
I swiveled toward Ellie, whose fingers had frozen around her napkin. "You held me. You comforted me. Made me feel safe." My voice cracked. "Were you thinking about what you saw on those cameras? Did it make it easier to know exactly what I needed because you had watched me fall apart?"
I barely glanced at Cam, who sat motionless except for the muscle jumping in her jaw. "Did you all discuss what you saw? Compare notes? Or did you just watch, like you always do?"
I slammed my palm against the table as I turned back to Alex.
The silverware jumped. "And you want to talk about protocol?
You are the mole. You put everyone in danger.
Your cousin is dead because of you. Gina is dead because of you.
" My voice broke completely when I added, "Mark is missing because of you. "
I blinked hard against the hot tears. "I trusted you. All of you. I gave you everything. My body. My..." I swallowed against the knot in my throat. "And the whole time you were watching me like I was some kind of lab rat."
Ellie leaned forward. "It's not like that—"
"We had to ensure your safety," Kara cut in, her fingers splayed on the table. "Standard security protocols require—"
I laughed, the sound scraping my throat raw. "Stop. There's no justification for this."
My eyes locked with Alex's. Her face remained impassive, almost bored. The same expression she'd worn when she'd told me stories about the Bellantes. When she'd traced patterns on my skin in bed. When she'd whispered false promises against my neck.
"You never cared," I said, my voice dropping to a whisper that somehow filled the room. "I was just your tool, wasn't I, Domenica?"
Her real name hung in the air between us. The others went still.
"I should have kept my nose out of your family's business." My fingers curled into fists. "Maybe I should call your father. Tell him who's been feeding me information all these months. I bet he'd give me my life back."
I stood. The chair legs screeched against the floor like a wounded animal. The sound followed me as I walked away, leaving their silence behind.
I fled to the living room, my body vibrating with rage. My hands trembled so violently I had to press them against my thighs. Tears burned hot trails down my face, but these weren't the silent drops of sadness I'd shed in my bedroom while they watched. These were fury incarnate.
Where could I go? The solarium was a death trap after dark. Outside was forbidden. My bedroom was bugged. Was the library? The kitchen? The fucking bathroom?
I perched on the edge of the wing chair by the fireplace, as far from any corners or vents as possible. The mama cat and her kittens slept in their box nearby, oblivious to human betrayal.
My chest heaved with each breath. My heart slammed against my ribs like it wanted to escape. I couldn't blame it.
They had seen everything. Every moment I thought was private. Every tear. Every nightmare. Every time I changed clothes or showered or talked to myself or practiced what I would say to Mark if I ever saw him again.
Mark. God. “The search for investigative journalist Sabine Barrett continues" scrolled across the bottom of the news. Something was very wrong, and I was stuck here, useless.
I was more alone now than when I first arrived. Then, they were just strangers doing a job. Now they were strangers who had violated me, whom I had stupidly trusted. Worse, I needed them. The Bellantes would kill me the moment I stepped outside unprotected.
I glanced at the ceiling corners, wondering which ones held cameras. Alex's dismissive shrug replayed in my mind. Like my privacy meant nothing. Like I meant nothing.
The walls of this beautiful prison closed in tighter. I was trapped with four women who had watched me at my most vulnerable, and there wasn't a single thing I could do about it.