Last Night
EVIE
THERE’S A PARTY AT VIKTOR’S HOUSE TONIGHT TO CELEbrATE THE END OF THE TERM BEFORE everyone scatters for Christmas break.
Are you sure you don’t want to come? I ask Annie as I dress. The guy she’s been seeing has already gone home for the holidays.
No way. You’re just going to take off with Viktor, and then I’ll end up wandering around like a lonely loser.
I want to protest that I’ll stick by her side like the good friend I am, but realistically I’ll end up doing whatever Viktor wants. He’s been too busy to see me this week, and I’ve missed him.
I put on an emerald satin blouse since it’s almost Christmas, but following Mia’s advice I add normal dark jeans. Then I ponder whether my embroidered belt is too weird. It looks nice to me.
Are you staying over at his place tonight? she asks.
I hope so.
I’m already packed to leave for my great-grandmother’s place tomorrow, where my mom and dad will join me for a week.
I can’t wait to see my parents. I hope they’ll be happy to hear all my news, but my father will not approve of the fact that I have a boyfriend.
Or he’ll want to do a complete security check on him.
I can’t believe the way your fling turned out. You tamed the biggest player on campus, Annie declares.
I make a face. I haven’t changed Viktor at all. We complement each other in many ways, so our relationship works. That’s all.
I go to the party alone, something that would be unthinkable when I first got to Monarch. But I’m more confident now.
The party is loud and crowded when I get there.
Evie! Rosie floats across the room and gives me a hug. How are you? I still love my purse charm.
You’re too sweet. She compliments me each time I see her, which I secretly love.
After the frat party incident, Rosie helped me figure out the right thank-you gifts for everyone except Viktor.
In return, I sewed her a namesake purse charm.
The rose is made out of velvet and glass beads, and it turned out as lovely as Rosie herself.
Where are you spending Christmas? I ask.
I’m going to spend it with Connor’s family. Our first big holiday together. She grimaces, but those two are so close. She raises a can of beer. Well, I was supposed to bring him a drink, so I better go.
She makes her way over to Connor, who is DJing as usual.
I search for Viktor. Someone who can find me in an arena usually spots me immediately at a party, so it’s odd that I even have to look. I finally find him talking to two women and push my way through the crowd.
Hey, Viktor. I smile at the two women who I don’t recognize. They’re both tall and pretty.
Evie. Viktor turns and gives me a half-smile. This is Bella and Monique.
Then they resume their conversation about some big outdoor concert that happens in the summer.
Nobody makes an effort to include me, and Viktor is being extra-friendly to the brunette woman.
In fact, he seems to be deliberately ignoring me.
I’ve never been jealous before, but he’s never given me reason.
Finally, I get fed up.
I’m going to get a drink, I mutter before heading towards the kitchen. But before I’m halfway there, he grabs my wrist.
Evie. We need to talk.
Oh, you’re talking to me now? I reply.
Yeah, come up to my room. He links our hands together and leads the way. I follow reluctantly. He hasn’t even apologized for being so rude. Then I wonder if he’s drunk. I’ve never seen him drink to excess, but maybe he’s letting loose before Christmas holidays.
We climb the two flights of stairs and enter his room. I hear the sharp click of the door closing behind us.
Are you okay? I ask.
Viktor doesn’t even answer. Instead, he grabs a handful of my hair and tilts my head back.
He kisses me hard, opening up my lips and plunging his tongue inside.
I melt against him, grasping his shirt in both hands for support.
He pulls my head back farther, kissing my throat and then sucking the hollow at the base of my neck.
I moan softly, my irritation replaced by desire.
I know every place you need to be kissed, he murmurs.
Yes, I whisper.
No one will ever know this body like I do. His tone is almost mocking, but Viktor is a wonderful lover and I’m lucky to be with him.
Then he releases my hair and steps back. He toes off his shoes and lies on his bed. Automatically, I lie beside him, but he doesn’t put an arm around me or start anything. Instead he crosses his arms and looks up at the ceiling.
I wait, uncertain as to what I’m supposed to do. Are we going to make love?
Viktor eyes me as if he’s never seen me before.
Good news, Evie. I’m going to share something big with you: my shitty history with women.
I shake my head in confusion. You don’t have to do that.
He never mentions ex-girlfriends even though there are many. And he dislikes talking about his romantic past.
I want to. He’s smiling now, but it’s not a genuine smile. Don’t you want to know why I turned out like this?
There’s nothing wrong with the way you are. You’re a highly principled person and a great leader, I state.
He shakes his head and continues talking as if I hadn’t said a word.
Let’s start with Angelica Ford. After we broke up, she told me she was pregnant.
Shocked, I look over, but he’s staring up at the ceiling like he’s far away.
She even showed me one of those test things. She explained that despite condoms and the birth control she was on, these things could happen. She assumed that we’d get back together. His dry chuckle sounds cruel. Even though I dislike Angelica, I would never wish that problem on her.
What happened? I ask.
I told her that I would support her in whatever she chose to do, financially anyway.
But we were over and her condition didn’t change that.
Then after watching her down tequila shots at a party, I got suspicious.
I insisted we go to the student health clinic for an official test. She actually went through with the procedure while I was in the waiting room.
But on the walk back, she confessed it was all bullshit.
I don’t say anything. There’s something in Viktor’s tone that sounds like a warning.
I’ve got other stories too. A woman, who was best friends with my billet family mother back in junior hockey, got in bed with me while I was asleep and tried to have sex with me. Sure, I was big physically, but I was still a sixteen-year-old kid, for fuck’s sake.
Oh my gosh, that’s so horrible, Viktor. But now his insistence on consent is explained. Men have the right to refuse sex too.
Anyway, enough of the sob stories. All I wanted to do was set some context. His voice is even colder, and I freeze in place.
Finally, he faces me, his gaze diamond sharp.
His expression is pure contempt. But of all the women who have screwed me over, you’re the worst. I told you about my fears, my doubts, my family.
I trusted you, Evie. You completely took me in with your sweet and innocent act.
Were you even a virgin? Or did you fake that too?
What are you talking about? I didn’t fake anything, I protest.
But you haven’t told me the truth either, my little Revenge Squad member.
A chill clutches my heart. I nod. Yes, I didn’t tell you about that. But I promised them I wouldn’t.
Even as the words leave my mouth, I recognize their feebleness. It’s not about the stupid NDA I signed, which I know was worthless, but I knew how angry Viktor would be with the other women. And I feared that he might get angry with me. I was a coward to imagine that this moment would never happen.
Did you not think that it would matter? That you were programmed to meet all my needs? Where does the real Evie even begin?
Everything that happened between us was real, I insist. Tears begin to stream down my cheeks now, but my unhappiness no longer moves him. Viktor’s coldness is painful to behold. He barely registers my emotions.
I continue, Yes, they told me some things about you at the beginning, but all that was superficial. You know me now, the real me. You know how well we fit together—that’s all genuine.
Right, because I’ll believe anything you say. He imbues each word with disgust. We are done.
I struggle to explain myself. I’m sorry. After a while, I didn’t think it mattered. Maybe I should have told you earlier, but there wasn’t a right time.
I swipe blindly at my face, but I can hardly see through the tears.
He sits up and looks at his watch. Speaking of time, maybe you could go now? I’d like to get back to Monique. Or whoever my next girlfriend is going to be. Because that’s how long it will take to replace you.
Does he think this is news to me? I’ve seen how many women are interested in him. But he’s trying to hurt me, to make me think I’m just another in the long list of women who fell for him and then got dumped.
I scramble off the bed, but I can’t even stand straight. I don’t want us to break up, but I accept my responsibility in what happened. I love Viktor, but he doesn’t love me. Or worse, he did love me and now I’ve destroyed that open emotional side of him.
I catch sight of myself in the mirror where Viktor undressed me our first time. There’s a purple welt on my neck, my eyes are swollen, my skin is blotchy, and my hair is wild. I look exactly as I feel.
I grab my purse to leave, but I pause at the door.
You warned me that you would hurt me, and you have. And I deserve it. But I always thought that the pain would come from losing you and missing you. I had no idea that you would break up with me so brutally—just to get back at me.
Viktor doesn’t even raise his gaze from his phone, where he’s probably scanning the news updates he’s addicted to. His voice is as casual and unemotional as if I asked him the time.
You look like hell, Evie. Now march through that party and show people what happens when they fuck with me. And if anyone asks—especially my friends who you’ve conned as well—I dare you to tell them exactly why I dumped you. You’re not sweet, innocent Evie Smith. You’re a liar and a fake.
Does he want me to hate him? Because he’s doing a great job.
I try to stay calm. So that’s what this is really about. Your reputation. You’d rather destroy everything we have together just because a few women tried to trick you. Is your pride more important than love?
He actually laughs. Love? Did I ever say anything about love? Don’t confuse sex with emotion.
But I’m not like Viktor, and I don’t care about my pride. If this our last conversation, then I’m telling him everything.
I’m in love with you, Viktor. I love the man that you don’t show anyone else, someone tender and vulnerable. And I know you care too, even if you can’t say the words. But I understand that I’ve broken your trust and you can’t get past that. And I’m so, so sorry.
My words hang suspended in the air between us. Viktor finally looks at me, but there’s no tenderness now. He puts down his phone and does a slow clap.
Oh, bravo. Did Daddy teach you that in spy school? You’re such a good actress, Evie. But it’s time to take a bow and get the fuck out of my room. I really hope I never see you again.
No matter how hurtful his words are, I can’t cry anymore. I close the door quietly, then I duck into his bathroom where I pull out my hairbrush and Mia’s emergency kit. I refuse to advertise our breakup with my shattered appearance.
You don’t always get what you want, Viktor Zelenko.