19. Olivia
Olivia
Tick-tock, Spitfire.
His words echo in my head.
That fucker.
“I’ll show him tick-tock,” I grumble through clenched teeth, staring at my reflection in the mirror. I adjust my glasses and smooth a hand down my plain, gray T-shirt. “I’ll shove tick-tock up his damn ass,” I mumble angrily, adjusting my shirt again.
I have seven minutes to make it to the library. Six minutes and fifty seconds to get my shit together before I have to face him again.
Blackmailing asshole.
And I really don’t want to face him. Or any of them. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be Oliver anymore. I really had my heart set on being Olivia again, lounging in the bunker as I awaited another case.
Man, did Jonathan disappoint.
A tiny voice in the back of my head that’s been there since I walked through Veritas’ door and became theirs echoes in my head.
Buck up, Liv. It’s one little study session with JJ.
One little encounter that will only last an hour.
One measly hour. You can survive this. Like you’ve survived everything else.
You have no choice.
You have to do this.
It’s a job.
I raise my chin, forcing my muscles to loosen as I stare at myself in the mirror again.
I’m in there somewhere beneath this facade Jordy helped me create.
Oliver. Olivia. Beneath my thick glasses, short hair that—shit, I still need to book in a haircut.
I frown, running my fingers through my shaggy locks.
It’s grown so much since I chopped it in the hotel bathroom.
Add that to my to-do list. Right after studying with JJ. Even though we won’t be studying. We’ll be talking. Or staring. Or whatever the hell else he decides we need to do while I’m trapped in the study room with him.
Now, I need to go to the library before I run out of time and stop standing here, basking in my dread and self-doubt.
This is the perfect opportunity to suss JJ out and pull information from him.
Sure, he’ll probably want to know where I’ve been and why I’m back dressed like this.
And at some point, I’m going to have to tell him something.
Especially if I ask him to tell me information on my family’s death and how it was presented to the rest of the community.
An electrical fire? That’s what the newspaper reports said online when I looked earlier.
Hell, they even interviewed Franco’s lying ass as he fake-mourned our deaths.
That was it, though.
There wasn’t anything about suspected foul play or the gasoline used to douse our home. I know Franco has the police in his pocket. It’s a fact. Just like the guys do, too. Did he pay the officials to mark our deaths as accidental? Most likely. But I still want more information.
So, that’s what I’ll do tonight. I’ll use this fun game of blackmail to get information out of JJ.
If I can face him one-on-one without losing myself, that is. It was hard enough when I learned he would be my tutor. Being so close to him in such a small space.
The mental image of JJ’s face covered in tears as sobs worked from his throat flashes in my mind. He was genuinely upset. He’s either an amazing actor, luring me in with a false sense of security.
Or he’s being real.
“We weren’t there. We were in Vegas. Don’t you remember?”
Remember?
I wish I could remember clearly what happened before everything imploded and my world caught fire with lies and deceit. But I can’t. There’s a void there. The only thing I see when I peer at their faces is their smoldering betrayal.
The masks. The knife. The screams of my mother and sister. The smell of gasoline permeating the air.
The trauma won’t leave me. It never will. It will always hang in the back of my mind, in the shadows, waiting to remind me of what I lived through. What I fucking survived.
Maybe that’s why I was so fucking baffled when they broke into my house and killed us all without shedding a tear.
I knew they weren’t supposed to be there. They were on a mission for Franco.
In my mind, though, I thought they were lying. Even though I saw them off and they drove away toward the interstate with frowns on their lips and regret in their eyes.
It was obviously all a ruse. A sham to fool me into thinking I was safe. Then and now.
Or…was it?
“Fuck!” I grunt, trying to keep my voice low and hidden from Simon on the other side of the door.
I clutch my hair and take several breaths. Is this what Jonathan wanted? My confusion? My heart breaking all over again?
“Get it together. You’re stronger than this,” I hiss to my reflection. “You are Oliver. You can take anyone on.”
Longing hits me hard. Before, when I crashed over being here, Jordy was by my side with reassurance. A phone call away. Now, I’m on my own while he’s away on his case.
“Okay. You got this. Totally got this. You can face JJ. You’re a smart, capable agent. Not just Olivia. Agent Seven,” I mumble to myself, staring directly into my green-tinted eyes, hiding my true color from the world. “No more freaking out.”
I’m Oliver now and will be until I get into their stupid gang and go through the stupid initiations.
At least, that’s what I have to remind myself as I open the bathroom door and walk out into our shared space.
“Oli!” Simon gleefully says, jumping out in front of me and causing me to yelp.
A grin stretches across his lips. “Epic fucking party tonight on Syndicate Row.” He leans in.
“Word on the street is Malic and Wilder are recruiting for the first time. So, you know it’s going to be wild!
” He waves a hand excitedly. “But I’m just there for the party.
Did you know they had strippers last time? Strippers!”
Simon waves his phone in front of my face, displaying the SlamApp filled with pictures of male and female strippers, half-nude, and dancing inside Malic and Wilder’s house.
Right next to the idiots—Hux, JJ, and Mack’s—frat house.
I blink several times. “Recruiting?” I say without thinking.
“Oh, yeah. But we can go for the booze and whatever else they have planned. Dancing. Daniel invited me to meet him there. And I’m inviting you to accompany me.” His cheeks turn a bright red at the mention of Daniel.
“Daniel?” I raise a brow.
Simon’s eyes dart over his shoulder, and then he leans in.
“I met up with him at the graveyard party. We used to… You know.” He gestures with his hands after slipping his phone into his jeans pocket.
“And we’re talking again.” Happiness glows in his eyes as his blush grows by the second.
“So? Will you accompany me? Be my babysitter and make sure I don’t do anything too stupid? ”
I want to snort at his request for a babysitter. I’ve seen him in action. He never misses an opportunity to have fun.
“I won’t be interfering with you and Daniel?” I grin at his eager expression.
Not that I’ve ever interfered with any of his other hookups before. Well, except Jordy. I don’t think they ever had a chance to really connect.
He scoffs. “Nooooo. I need you there so I don’t do anything stupid.” He holds his hands together and pouts, sticking his bottom lip out. “Please, Oli. Don’t make me beg.”
“Okay,” I laugh.
Malic and Wilder might not be my marks like Hux, JJ, and Mack, but they’re up to something, too, working under a mysterious boss and all. Greenwood is a big place full of crime; eventually, something will turn up worth taking back to Veritas.
If I’m going to be forced to be here, I might as well bring them all down.
“Yes!” Simon shouts, pumping a fist with a whoop of excitement.
“But first,” I cringe at the thought of where I have to go. “I have a tutoring meeting until seven, and my advisor is making me go.”
Because I’m failing my classes, thanks to the devil waiting for me.
“Oh! Tutoring? Well, have fun! Text me when you’re done, and we can meet up.”
And just like that, I slowly make my way out of our dorm room and the building with a weird sense of foreboding slithering through my veins and weighing down my shoulders.
The warm air penetrates straight through my shirt as I weave around students milling around on campus, conversing and laughing with one another. A longing I haven’t felt in years splinters through me.
I had that once. Three best friends turned boyfriends who I laughed and joked with. They pestered me, and I pestered back.
I rub at my chest. Memories I don’t want rush through my mind, torturing me more than I already am. Leave me alone. I don’t want to think about them right now. Our history. What our lives could have been like if they had never harmed my family and me.
It’s something I’ll never forget. Or forgive.
They were there. I’m fucking sure of it. No matter how big JJ’s puppy-dog eyes get.
My stomach flips when I step into the empty library. Only a few students sit at open tables, leaning over books and typing on their laptops. It’s so quiet that static fills my ears.
The glorious smell of old and new books hits my senses as I wander farther through the stacks.
I was never a reader growing up, opting for movie and TV show marathons to take my brain away from my daily torture.
But one of my favorite places in the small library downtown was the movie section.
Whenever I needed a friend on the screen, I lost myself in my library rentals.
I couldn’t afford to own DVDs. I didn’t even have a TV in my damn room because my dad took everything from me and sold it.
Books would have been convenient. A way to lose myself in something easy to hide, but they never did it for my overactive brain.
“Another one?” Hux grins, swinging an arm to allow me inside his mansion.
“It’s a new one,” I say with a grin, holding up the DVD case and walking straight into his house.
Hux groans, swiping a hand down his face. “Another sappy romance?”