Chapter 25
Problem was, when I pitched the idea to Sharaz, she loved it.
And I don’t mean loved it in a normal way; she was obsessed with it.
And since we were on a video call, I had the pleasure of watching for at least five minutes as she laughed until she cried.
When she was done, mascara smeared and the hyperventilating finally stopped, she managed to speak again.
‘Oh my God,’ she gasped. ‘People will be talking about this for years to come. His golf buddies, his business connections, and all the wives. Oh, they’ll feast on this scandal like it’s a five-course meal. This is social annihilation. I love it. Do you have any idea how humiliated he’ll be?’
I nodded. Once more, the rich were very strange.
Her main joy was his humiliation, his public ousting from their upper-crust society, not the fact that he would actually be behind bars.
‘I’ll do it then,’ I said. Professionalism always won in the end, even though the idea of being near Cam made me feel anything but professional.
I hung up. This was a disaster, and I didn’t know how I was going to survive this ludicrous plan of ‘till death do us part’ . . .
Death. Yes. There was the solution. I could just kill him. I burst out laughing and let my mind wander for a second, enjoying all the various ways in which I could hasten that outcome.
Shit! I needed to vent. To yell. To scream into the void. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a handy void available, so I did the next best thing.
‘Hey!’ Philly’s voice chirped happily on the other end of the line. ‘How’s island life?’
‘Philly, it’s a disaster.’
‘What is?’
‘It’s Cam and me,’ I moaned.
‘What? Lizzy. You didn’t? Did you?’
‘Didn’t what?’ I suddenly caught on. ‘No! Not that. Definitely not that.’
‘Well, if not that, then what?’ she asked.
I sighed, and found myself for the second time in a matter of minutes explaining the insane plan.
As I heard myself say the words ‘Cam’ and ‘fiancé’ in the same sentence, my stomach actually lurched.
A feeling rose in me that made my skin itch, and I clawed at the back of my neck as some psychosomatic Cam itch worked its way across my skin.
But this itch was impossible to scratch.
‘You and Cam? Playing a happy couple? You know what, this is like the time Falcon and Lake had to pretend to be lovers so as to thwart his business rival in The Days and Nights of our Bold and Restless Children.’
‘Oh please, it’s more like that episode of Enterprise where T’Pol had to pretend to be emotionally bonded with that weirdo Vulcan just to gain intel – and surprise! It went horribly wrong. Just like this is about to.’
‘Well, if it makes you feel any better, Falcon and Lake did go on to fall madly in love. They even had a baby via IVF. Of course they found out a year later that the embryos had been switched and actually her baby was none other than Falcon’s evil twin that she never knew existed.’
‘No, Philly, weirdly enough, that strange analogy does not make me feel better. In fact, it actually makes me feel worse.’
‘Just think of it like a role you have to play. You’re T’Pol, or Lake, an actress playing a part, reading off a script. That’s all.’
I dropped my head into my hand. ‘Except this isn’t some TV show. It’s real life. I’ll have to sleep next to him, eat dinner with him, go on fake romantic beach walks holding hands with him and cuddling and . . . God, I feel nauseous.’
‘You’re good at going undercover, though,’ she said. ‘You’ve done it a million times before.’
‘Not that good, trust me,’ I snapped.
Philly hummed thoughtfully. I didn’t like the sound; I sensed something was coming. And it was. ‘Maybe you don’t have to act all that much. I mean, come on, Lizzy. He’s hot. I’ve seen the pictures of him.’
‘Don’t start,’ I warned.
‘I’m just saying.’
‘Well, I think you should stop just saying,’ I said quickly.
‘Okay, forget Cam for a moment. You love catching the bad guy. And what’s better than catching a cheater who also happens to be smuggling diamonds and laundering money and working with the Mob?’
‘Mmm, that’s exactly what Cam said,’ I moaned.
‘Well, he’s right. So stop thinking about all that other stuff and just think about it as a quest for justice. Besides, do you know how much business this could get us? Lizzy Brown doesn’t just catch cheaters, she catches criminals too.’
I sighed. ‘Philly, oh Philly, Philly, Philly.’
‘That’s my name,’ she said cheerfully.
I looked out over the water. I’d already known the answer before calling her. Of course I would do this, I’d just needed someone to vent with.
‘So what happened to Leaf and Fallow’s baby anyway?’ I asked.
‘Lake and Falcon.’
‘God, why do soap characters have such ridiculous names?’ I whined.
‘He grew up to be evil, like Damien in that movie. He used hypnosis to control everyone around him and then took over the family business.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘Of course he did,’ I said. I was no longer surprised by any of these storylines.
‘Okay, I’m going to go for a walk to clear my head. Chat later,’ I said and hung up.