Chapter 46
Thirty minutes later, and apparently we were hanging out, sitting on the couch, massive pizzas spread out in front of us.
We’d called room service, and in our state of utter starvation – we hadn’t eaten breakfast or lunch due to our unconsciousness in the cupboard – we’d ordered far too much food and eaten it all far too fast. We’d had an argument over what to watch – he’d wanted a horror film and I’d wanted an action movie.
Preferably about war, or something with a lot of explosions and fighting, since I hadn’t got to do any of that myself and I was still left with this odd feeling that I needed to blow something up or jump out of a tree onto someone’s head.
But there was nothing to do. No wrestling, cuffing or chasing.
We finally settled on Predator, which we both agreed was a good combination of horror and action, with an alien thrown in for good measure.
And although I’d seen it a million times before, I’d never watched it with someone sitting next to me.
And strangely enough, someone who also seemed to like all my favourite parts.
I’d sat and watched movies with Byron before, but it had always felt . . . like an event. Like something I’d had to psych myself up to do. It didn’t feel like it came naturally, like this did. This wasn’t an event. This was just . . . just.
Cam was sprawled out, his arm draped casually over my shoulder as if it belonged there, as if this was something he did all the time.
And strangely enough, because it didn’t feel awkward, I hadn’t felt the need to twist it into an armbar, or something equally painful.
I had to admit, despite myself, there was something undeniably nice – annoyingly nice even – about feeling someone else’s warmth next to me. I’d never craved that before.
But now that it was happening . . .
It felt reminiscent of my spa experience. The one I was so sure I didn’t need and was so sure I was going to hate. But the one that after it was done, I realised how much I’d actually needed it.
‘Do you want the last slice?’ Cam asked.
I leaned back and patted my stomach. I was so full that if I ate anything more, I might burst at the seams.
Oh, what the hell. ‘Split it?’
He grinned. ‘How romantic.’
I grabbed the piece of pizza and with zero finesse, and no cutlery, tried to tear it in half. It worked, to a degree, and I passed Cam his share.
‘This is weirdly nice,’ he said, mouth full of food.
‘Weirdly?’
‘You and me. On a couch. Pizza.’
‘Don’t jinx it,’ I said.
‘I didn’t think the logical Lizzy Brown would believe in such things as jinxes. What would the Vulcans say?’
‘I don’t believe in them,’ I said, licking my fingers.
Cam stood up suddenly, and held out his hand. ‘Swim?’
‘Now?’
‘Why not?’
‘Uh, because I’ll probably drown.’ I patted my stomach again.
‘No, it’s exactly what we need to work some of this off.’
‘We’re not going to be doing laps, Cam.’
He laughed. ‘Who says? Maybe I want to do laps. You don’t have to, though, you can just lie there floating away lazily while I streak past you.’
‘Oh really.’ I stood up, ignited by the challenge. He always did this. There was no one else on the planet I so desperately wanted to beat at absolutely everything. Every single thing.
‘I knew that would get you going!’ He sprinted for the door. ‘Beat you there, little girl.’
‘What the fuck!’ I jumped over the couch and chased after him, out the door, across the beach and into the water, fully clothed.
We splashed around like idiots for a while; it was harder to swim in clothes, but there had been no time to take them off.
I was too busy trying to beat Cam. Despite our discussion yesterday, we both knew we would always do this with each other.
This was confirmed when Cam dunked his head under and came up shaking his hair like a dog.
‘Stop,’ I said, trying to shield my face.
‘Oh please, you love it.’
‘I do not love it.’
‘You laughed,’ he pointed out smugly.
I splashed him in the face. ‘Shut up.’
He swam closer, treading water next to me. ‘Okay, but seriously . . . I’m glad we got this.’
‘This?’
‘This time together,’ he said, more softly now. ‘Even though we were almost killed by an assassin, drugged and locked in a cupboard. It’s been fun. I’ve missed this. I missed you.’
‘I suppose I sort of missed you a bit too,’ I said, glancing away.
‘I’d forgotten what it feels like to just . . . be around you. To laugh. To fight. To fuck.’
‘Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it so much, because it will be over soon. Now that this job is finished and we’re going back to our normal lives, we won’t be seeing each other again, obviously.’
Cam burst out laughing. Wait, this was not the reaction I was expecting.
‘What’s so funny?’ I demanded. His gaze zoned in on me in a strange and probing manner. ‘Cam, stop looking at me like that!’
‘Like what?’ he asked innocently.
‘Like, I don’t know, like you’re up to something. Like you know a secret, like you’re the smuggest person in the world right now when you have no reason to be smug.’
‘It’s just that I knew you were going to do this.’
‘Do what?’
‘This. Precisely this. I could have predicted we would be having this exact conversation at some point. Word for word.’
I brought my hand down and sent more water flying into his face. ‘Did you predict that too?’
‘Yup.’ He wiped his face and smirked. ‘I predicted you’d do something dramatic, but I didn’t think we’d be in the water. I’m afraid my powers of prediction are not that good.’
‘Just what is it that you think you predicted anyway?’
‘I predicted we’d get to the end of this mission, and the second it was over, you’d tell yourself that everything that happened between us meant nothing.
That it was all pretend, or if it wasn’t pretend – if you were at least going to admit that much to yourself – then it was just a fling.
Super-hot island sex with an ex, easy to walk away from.
I predicted you’d decide to go home and act like none of this ever happened.
Like we didn’t just get handed a second chance on a silver platter – one that we totally screwed up the first time.
And that you’d try to throw it away again.
You’d go home, go back to normal life, and try to forget me and what we had.
But you won’t be able to, no matter how hard you try, I’m going to be there in your thoughts, and this time you won’t be able to get rid of me. ’
I was floundering. Blinking. Trying to come up with some kind of rebuttal to all of that, but failing miserably.
‘And of course Sage predicted it too; she told me after you left.’
‘You talked about me after I left?’
‘We still had an hour of our session, and I didn’t want to waste the thoughtful gift.’
‘You talked about me for an hour?’
‘Maybe a little more – you are quite complicated after all.’ He said it so casually, when this was anything but casual.
‘And were your discussions fruitful?’ I asked sarcastically.
‘Very. I figured out a lot of things about you, about us.’
‘And what are those things?’
Cam smiled at me, that dumb, knowing smile he’d been throwing around so liberally of late.
‘Well, like I said, we predicted this. Predicted that when I told you I loved you, you would run away again. Which I suppose you sort of did when you passed out in the cupboard after I said it, although you did start saying it too before you fell asleep.’
My heart suddenly banged in my chest. ‘I . . . I don’t remember that.’
‘I know. But I do.’
I swallowed.
‘I know you’re in love with me.’ He said it so simply, so confidently. ‘You have been this whole time. You’ve just been too scared to admit it. So I’ll admit it for both of us.’ He tilted his head. ‘And although you’re probably going to run just now, I’m not letting you go this time.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘It means I’m coming after you.’
‘You’re . . . what?’
‘The biggest mistake I ever made was letting you walk away. But this time, that’s not going to happen.
You can leave, you can go back to your normal life, but I promise you, I’ll be right behind you until you realise the truth.
Maybe it’ll take a day, maybe a week, a month.
But however long it takes, I’ll be there.
Walking behind you until you admit what this is. ’
I stared at him.
‘What we are,’ he said softly, ‘is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. And I’m not throwing it away again.’
He sighed and lay back in the water. So relaxed. So easy and confident. ‘Take your time, Lizzy. But not too long. I have this really large shower at home, which I haven’t really made the most of yet, and, well, I kind of have an idea what I can use it for.’
My mouth fell open, and I quickly tried to close it. I didn’t have a comeback for anything he was saying. The fight part of my brain had turned off. I was in freeze mode.
‘I wonder if we could do that in a bath too?’ he said, lifting his head and looking at me. He tilted it to the side and then nodded, as if I’d said something. ‘Yeah, maybe too confined.’
I shook my head. I hadn’t said that. Why was he acting like I was speaking when I wasn’t?
He sighed again, mock resigned. ‘Okay, fine, if you insist. We’ll try it in the bath.’
And then with this flourish, this undeniable confidence, the energy of a man who knew exactly what he wanted and was sure he was going to get it, he started making his way back to the shore.
The water fell down his back like a waterfall, revealing all the hard lines of it.
And that was when I saw them: the red marks on his back, criss-crossing lines from where I’d scraped my nails down him.
I’d marked him.
And he’d marked me too.
The question was, how deep did those marks go?
He stopped when he got to the shore, then turned around and looked at me again.
‘I’ll sleep on my boat tonight. You probably need some time to do a Vulcan meditation on everything I just said to you.’
I found myself nodding.
‘I’ll probably leave in the morning. I have a few things to do when I get back, some work things, but then I’ll see you.’
‘Where?’ I finally managed to speak. He smiled. Slow and sexy and mischievous.
‘I’m not telling you; that will ruin the surprise. But I am coming after you, that’s a promise.’ And then he turned and walked back up the beach, leaving me absolutely reeling.
I walked up the beach and didn’t look back. I didn’t need to. I knew she was probably still bobbing there, her brain scrambling for some sarcastic, witty retort. But she hadn’t been able to come up with one, and that was how I knew I’d got to her.
Because I knew Lizzy.
I knew how her mind worked. How she had to win. How she had to decide. You couldn’t force her to do anything, she wasn’t that kind of person. And if you did try, well that was when you landed up in a chokehold, moments from passing out. The more you pushed, the harder she pushed back.
So I’d learned to wait.
Even back then, there had been so many times I’d wanted to say something.
Rush to her room in the middle of the night, bring my lips down to hers on the mat, grab her while in the middle of some mock-hostage scene and take her right there and then.
But I also knew that if I’d said or done anything, she would have just pushed back.
Her natural instinct was to disagree with everything, especially me.
She always had to feel like she was the one in control. Winning.
Fine. She could have that. I didn’t need to win this round. I’d already won.
Because there was no way – no way – you could go through what we’d just been through and walk away untouched.
That thing in the shower? That wasn’t just sex. She knew that and I knew that.
The scratches on my back that she’d left had stung a little in the salt water, and they were still stinging now. I hoped I never stopped feeling them. I hoped they left scars.
She’d marked me. And whether she realised it yet or not, I’d marked her too.
And this time, I wasn’t letting her go.