26. Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Six
Sergei
Istride back into the living room. The young man who served our drinks is crouched on the floor, scrubbing a spill, while two other servers clear the tables. The scraping of silverware against plates forms a rhythmic backdrop as their hands move in a synchronized dance of efficiency.
“Come back tomorrow,” I say. One of the women glances up. “Please leave,” I command, firmer this time.
She gestures to her coworkers, and they quickly depart.
The apartment falls into silence. I walk over to the nearly empty vodka bottle, remove the cap, and take a long swig. Slamming it back onto the table, I stare toward the hallway leading to the bedrooms.
I loosen the bowtie, hating that it does nothing to relieve the suffocating pressure around my neck.
As I walk past Aurora’s door, Dasha’s words ring in my mind: “Got yourself a shiny new toy? Have you played with it yet? You would have broken it.” My hand hovers over the handle, daring me to turn it, to pull her into the chaos of my life.
She said she doesn’t want me, but I’d bet everything I own that if Misha hadn’t barged into the kitchen, she would have kissed me—she would have let me kiss her.
I painfully force myself to turn away, but as I’m about to leave, a metallic clang and a muffled cry pierce through the door.
In an instant, I burst into Aurora’s bedroom, frantically searching for her and the source of the scream.
When I don’t find her there, I fling open the bathroom door and freeze.
Aurora sits on the floor, still in her evening gown, her knees pulled to her chest as she clutches them tightly.
Resting her forehead against her knees, she’s curled inward as if lost in her own world.
With her eyes closed and breathing shallow, she appears to seek comfort in her own embrace.
The soft sound of her crying fills the room, the bathroom’s acoustics amplifying her sorrow.
“Rora?” I whisper, still frozen in place.
“I’m so stupid,” she murmurs, her voice breaking.
My eyes catch the metallic rod on the floor and the crumpled towel beside her. I inch closer, kneeling in front of her. “What’s wrong?”
She shakes her head, her teeth pulling on her bottom lip. “I’m not enough.”
I grimace. How can she say this? How can she think that? My jaw tenses as my fists clench the fabric of my tux pants in frustration. Doesn’t she see how wrong she is? How amazing she is?
“Rora—”
“Since I was little, I’ve always felt like I’m not enough.
My biological father left my mom and me because we weren’t enough.
” A shattered gasp catches in her throat.
“He had big dreams of pursuing music, and having a girlfriend and a kid didn’t fit into his rock star image.
” She squeezes her eyes shut, black tears streaking her dress.
“When my mom married my stepdad, they tried to have another child, but that… never happened. She wanted more children because I wasn’t enough—”
I want to interrupt, to refute the lies she’s telling herself, but before I can, she continues.
“I know,” she says, as if reading my thoughts. “I understand that logically, that’s not why she wanted more kids, but that’s how little me perceived it.”
A soft chuckle escapes her, surprising me. “Even in gym class, I was always the last one picked for teams.
“All throughout adolescence, there were boys I liked—Nate, Leon, Tom—but I was always just the good friend, nothing more. When”—air wheezes through her teeth—“Tom asked me to junior prom, I was so happy.” She smiles, another tear slipping down her cheek that she quickly wipes away.
“I thought, finally, I’d have a boyfriend like in the movies.
But at the last moment, Stacy Goldman called and asked him to go with her. ”
I hand Aurora a small towel, and she uses it to wipe her eyes and nose.
“And he did,” she continues, her voice trembling.
“I didn’t blame him. Stacy was the most glamorous girl in the whole school.
Of course, he’d want to go with her.” She slurps in a breath, her chest heaving with the effort.
“College was no different. Jackson would cancel our plans last minute if his friends had something better to do. Zander treated dating me like a job, taking days off when he wouldn’t contact me at all.
Quinn was the longest relationship I had—almost seven months—but he cheated on me for half that time.
When I confronted him, he said, ‘Oh well’ and walked away.
” She shudders, her voice cracking as she repeats, “He just walked away.”
As she speaks, my fists clench tighter, my jaw setting firmly. I mentally take note of the names of these useless idiots, a growing resolve forming within me to track them down and make them answer for the pain they’ve caused her.
“My freshman roommate moved out while I was in class, without telling me why or explaining anything. I came back to find her side of the room completely packed. I thought we were friends, not just roommates, but I guess I wasn’t good enough.” Her sobs break into ragged, hiccup-like gasps.
“When I got the rejection from the school internship last summer, I felt like I couldn’t breathe,” Aurora says, meeting my gaze.
Her cheeks are streaked with mascara. “Now, people didn’t want me even as an employee?
I thought I was good, not the best—school was always hard for me—but I was good with kids. At least, I thought so.”
She tilts her head back against the wall, closing her eyes again. “I mean, statistically speaking, what are the chances? Am I just bad?”
Unable to hold back any longer, I reach for her shoulder and rub it gently. “Kotsenok…” I whisper.
“And then I met you,” she continues, opening her eyes to meet mine. “And Misha. Misha was choosing me.” Her smile widens. “For the first time, it felt like someone was choosing just me. I know it’s silly because I’m only his nanny, and I’ll leave soon enough.”
This time, it’s me who lets out the heavy sigh, the weight of her words settling on my shoulders.
“And I know it’s not fair to put such a burden on him, but I’ve never been this happy.”
“She says while crying on the bathroom floor,” I finally interject, cupping her face in my hands. The pad of my thumb runs along her jawline.
“I thought you left,” she says, her expression turning serious.
Confusion clouds my mind. “When?”
“Tonight... with that woman.”
I shake my head repeatedly. The urge to pull her into my lap and kiss her fiercely overwhelms me. “I didn’t. I needed to walk her out, to make sure she wouldn’t—that she wouldn’t come near you.”
“Are you two…” Her gaze drops again.
I quickly lift her chin. “No, we are not,” I say, my voice firm, ensuring she hears every word. “Not since you stepped out of that elevator.”
Aurora stares into my eyes, searching for the truth, trying to determine whether my emotions match my words. I hold her gaze, willing my eyes to convey what’s in my soul.
When I gather the courage, I hope my voice mirrors the honesty in my heart.
“When you stepped out of that elevator, it felt like you brought a new light into my world. I felt like… I saw everything clearly for the first time, and what I saw”—I trace the curve of her cheek, my thumb caressing her lips—“was so, so incredibly breathtaking. I was overwhelmed, and guilty, and completely caught off guard. Alessia had just... and there I was, already drawn to someone else.”
Aurora lifts her hands, tracing them along my arms and shoulders before resting them behind my neck.
Her touch sends a wave of warmth through me, reigniting a deep longing.
The thought of pulling her closer and taking her right here on the bathroom floor crosses my mind, but Dasha’s words, now stripped of their venom, still linger.
“I need you to tell me to go,” I force out, each word a struggle against the ache in my chest. “Rora, tell me to go.” My voice cracks as I plead, already on my knees.
“I can’t do this on my own. I can’t stay away from you anymore.
” My face is close enough to feel her breath—her chest rising and falling.
My fingers reach up, tangling in her hair. “Rora…”
Her doe-eyed gaze locks with mine. A storm of desire brews in her blue eyes before she murmurs, “Don’t go.”
The moment her words reach me, everything else fades away, and I’m unleashed.
I stand, lifting her effortlessly, the high slit of her dress brushing at my side as she wraps her legs around my waist. She drapes her arms over my shoulders and rests her head against mine as I carry her out of the bathroom, past her bedroom, through the hall, and into my room.
Once inside, I set her down on the edge of my bed, my eyes tracing the curve of her shoulder, the way the moonlight catches her skin.
I kneel before her. My bed is the perfect height so that I can brush a stray lock behind her ear.
She plucks the pins from her updo, and golden-blond strands cascade around her face.
My breath stalls in my lungs because if I weren’t already on my knees, the sight of her would have brought me there.
“I thought you told me never to come in here uninvited.” She quirks an eyebrow, a playful smirk spreading on the most gorgeous lips I’ve ever seen. Lips I’ve fantasized about kissing, sucking on, pushing myself through.
I force myself to swallow, hoping this will somehow anchor me.
Lowering my head into her lap, I let it rest there as her fingers stroke my hair, nails pressing into my scalp.
Her touch calms the chokehold reality has on me, allowing me to draw a deep inhale.
“Rora…” I breathe in her lavender scent—an intoxicating cocktail that sends a jolt of electricity through me.