CHAPTER 10 GABRIELLA
GAbrIELLA
The bug had been the final nail. The crack came quietly for her. Her eyes burned.
“How could you …” Her voice broke, sharp and humiliating. She swallowed hard, but the sound had already escaped. “I can’t believe this is happening.” For the first time since the beach, Gabriella let herself cry freely. The jungle seemed to lean in.
She pressed her palms into her eyes like she could physically shove the tears back. They came anyway, hot and relentless, slipping down her cheeks in angry silence. Emotions collapsed inwards all at once.
She wept, hard wet sobs that shook her, clutching her hands to her chest. Snot dribbled down her face, and she used her shirt to wipe it. She didn’t care anymore. She was dirty, covered in mud and sweat, and she would trade anything for a bath right now.
A twig snapped behind her, and she sniffled. Mateo had returned and was slowly crouching next to her, careful to keep his distance.
“I trusted you,” she whispered, the words ripping out of her. “I trusted you and you—” She shook her head, breath hitching. “I don’t even know how to be scared anymore. I’m just … empty.”
Mateo stilled. “Gabriella.” Her name, said with pain and remorse. “Come on, let’s go to the tent. I’ll take care of you in there. You need sleep and maybe something dry?”
She hiccupped. “I don’t need you caring for me! And what did you do with the bug?”
Because if he did, she would forgive him. She would fold like the origami she knew her heart to be and somehow believe whatever lie he would say that would be enough reason for her friends to die.
Mateo didn’t reach for her, which somehow made it worse.
“He’s back home, like you should be, Gabriella. I really am sorry … for everything.” he said finally, and the words sounded like they hurt him. “I know that doesn’t mean anything.”
She looked at him then, really looked—at the shadows under his eyes, the tension wound so tight in his body it seemed to vibrate. “If you’re sorry,” she demanded, voice shaking, “why am I still here? Let me go, dammit.”
His jaw clenched, body tensing as he made to reach for her then stopped, giving her the control of how they moved forward. “Because like I said, letting you go right now would get you killed.”
Silence again. He took a breath, measured. “And because I don’t know how to fix what I’ve already done other than beg on my knees.”
She couldn’t help the jab, her body curving inward on itself as if to protect it.
“You would need to do more than beg on your knees Mateo. Or they’d better be bruised and bleeding for how long you waited on them because right now?
This is all fucked up. I’m talking an eternity of knee worshipping or—”
She looked at him and what she saw on his face stopped her breath.
He leaned into her space, nearly touching her, his heat filling the void between them with a fire so hot she was afraid it would evaporate the moisture in the air.
With dark eyes and even darker promises, his voice went low.
“If it means an eternity of worshipping you, I’d drown on my knees for you Gabriella.
Help ease the pain and hate you feel with the promise of so much more. ”
She had a feeling he didn't mean the ocean and despite herself, her body responded to him with a fresh wave of arousal between her legs. Jesus fucking Christ. This man may end up being the death of me.
A distant roll of thunder cut through the night. Apprehension creased his forehead into thin lines. “We need to move into the shared tent.”
“Shared?” Her voice cracked. “There’s no way I am sharing a tent with you—”
Rain followed fast—hard, sudden, drenching yet doing little to wash away the heat she felt.
Gabriella gasped as it soaked through her clothes in seconds, her teeth clenched tight from the residual adrenaline and fatigue.
She tried to stand, failed, legs folding beneath her.
She was at her limit, and they both knew it.
Mateo was there instantly, instincts overriding restraint. He caught her before she hit the ground, steadying her with hands firm but careful, like she was something treasured.
“Your body is crashing,” he said, urgency threading his voice. “You need to lie down and rest. I’m taking over now.”
She barely registered the words. Everything felt far away. And yet the jungle only seemed to come more alive. Damn those insistent bugs.
She covered her ears and sobbed. Everything inside of her collapsing and dying all at once.
He hesitated for exactly one heartbeat before guiding her beneath the crude shelter he’d rigged earlier. It was barely more than a tarp and rope, but it cut the rain. In the center was a large camouflage hammock for sleeping.
“I’m going to undress you now and wrap you in a blanket. Okay?”
She was numb, her mind begging to float away, but she tried to stay in the moment.
She nodded, trembling in his arms. His hands were careful as he peeled away her clothes, wet layers of cotton peeling like her sanity.
He used the clean parts of the fabric to wipe her feet, kneeling before her like a worshipper to a savior.
He really is taking care of me, her muddled brain thought.
The cream blanket he wrapped her in was coarse as he tucked it under her arms like a makeshift dress, but it felt glorious. He left her standing, feet unsteady on the tarp of their bedroom floor.
“I’m going outside to undress.”
“Don’t …” she started, her eyes meeting his. “Don’t leave.” She hated how vulnerable she sounded, but he was the only thing of normalcy she knew. He hesitated, then nodded, peeling away his own clothes quickly. She averted her eyes.
She heard him shuffle, and she glanced over to see what he was doing. Bare-chested, his tattoo moved like liquid against his skin. Her mouth turned dry as her eyes trailed down the trail that laid between the deep V of muscles only to be stopped by a coarse blanket wrapped tight around his waist.
“Your mouth is open again,” he teased.
Gabriella sputtered despite how awful she felt. “It was not, you narcissistic ass.”
“Me? A narcissistic ass? I’d take your word on it since you’d know best.” He sat with his back against a tree.
She couldn’t believe her ears. “Did you just—really? I didn’t confess my life story to be used against me.”
Heat was building in her chest, warming her limbs.
“I was merely pointing out that you can recognize the red flags enough now to know I am trouble.” The corners of his lips tilted, revealing an almost boyish grin.
How could he tease her when they were in a situation like this? Regardless, she found herself responding to him, releasing unspent anger and anxiety that he seemed to enjoy redirecting to him.
Is he trying to help me feel better?
The thought crossed her mind just as quickly as she banished it. Despite her better judgement, she let a truth slip out. Just one, otherwise she feared his ego would fill the tent and they would have to sleep outside. “You’re nothing like Justin.”
“That pleases me more than you know.” He smiled up to her and patted the space between his legs. “Come here then,” he said and, after a pause that felt like a question, drew her gently down so that her back was to his chest. He was so warm. She couldn’t help how she melted into him.
“Better?” He chuckled.
She nodded as his breath tickled her hair, and suddenly she was self-conscious. Despite the rain soaking her, she hadn’t had a real shower in nearly a day. “I probably stink.”
“I wouldn’t be able to tell over my own stench.”
That made her laugh. “True.” She took a breath in, inhaling his scent. Moss and stone. A masculine scent that had her core clenching. She tried to ignore it.
“Why the tattoo?” she asked, trying to distract herself.
He stiffened behind her and she heard his inhale of breath. “Is this truth or dare? Are you trying to get to know me?”
She bristled at how smug he sounded. “Don’t answer if you don’t want to.”
“I got the tattoo because it reminded me of you,” he said.
Oh. Then does that mean … it was clearly over his heart. There’s no way it meant what she thought.
“So you like turtles?” she asked lamely, not sure where her brain was trying to run to. She was trapped, closely wrapped in his arms with nowhere to go. Trying to keep her breath steady despite how her heart beat in her ears.
“Sure. I like turtles.” His tone was wry with something unspoken.
“I don’t hate them,” she confessed, not sure where it came from other than maybe her panic and internal screaming at what seemed like his confession. “The bugs …” she clarified.
“Why the fear then?” he asked. Strong fingers brushed up her arms, long soothing touches that seemed to melt her more into him.
“When I was nine, I fell on an ant hill. Turns out, I was allergic to that specific breed without realizing it.”
“What happened?” he asked quietly.
“I was hospitalized for a week, the antihistamines were not able to keep back the reaction completely and they kept me under observation. My mom and dad were beside themselves,” she said softly, recalling the tears and sleepless nights.
She shifted, feeling his warmth encase her. Safe, her mind said, even as the situation called otherwise.
“I did what any normal child would do. I learned to study the things I hated and realized afterwards I wanted to be as far away from them as possible. Hence the ocean.”
Mateo chuckled, brushing her hair to the side in an intimate gesture. “Didn’t foresee many tropical jungles in your future as a marine biologist?”
“No, I did not.” A jolt of pleasure shot down her exposed arm as he kept petting her, coiling low in her belly. “I try to distract myself when they get too loud … the bugs,” she said. “Usually it was white noise, reading a book, or falling asleep to a podcast.”
His finger traced along her shoulder and down her arm, the hair raising to greet his touch as goosebumps broke out. He had to notice. Her heart beat so loudly in her ears, she was sure he heard it.
Mateo made a noncommittal sound behind her before offering, “I could help distract you.”
Her body tensed, and even Mateo’s fingers stopped. They sat in silence as Gabriella thought of her next words. Was he suggesting what she thought he was? Did she want him to distract her in that way? Did she trust him enough to even consider something like that?
Her logical side realized with certainty what he was doing. He’s redirecting your attention again, she thought. But honestly? She didn’t mind the psychological manipulation he was putting her through. It is working. I’m certainly not thinking of bugs right now.
Did she want him to stop? No, no she didn’t. She had spent months with this man, learning his quirks and moods because she liked him. It was embarrassing to think she had learned his habits … even how he enjoyed his coffee.
She was content, holding onto the man who felt like her friend at this moment.
She asked, “How do you propose to distract me, exactly?”
He tensed behind her, his arms bending around her in a protective enclave of muscle. “I think we both know what I am proposing,” he murmured.
Oh …
His words shouldn’t have comforted her—nor ignited the raging inferno that had been dormant within her—but they did. The fading sounds of the other camps slowly dissipated. Heat traveled down her body between her legs, and she couldn’t help but squeeze them.
“I want to hear you say it,” she lied. She didn’t want to hear the words. She needed to.
Mateo leaned closer, his breath fanning her neck as he whispered in her ear. “Let me help you come, Gabriella.”