5. Uninhibited
The next morning, Jason knocked on our door around 10:30. I was still brushing my teeth, so Nikki got the door.
“Oh, thank god,” I heard her say through the hall.
“What?” said Jason.
“I thought you were going to show up looking like a soccer mom again.”
I came out to see that he was wearing light khaki-colored shorts with sandals, and a loose-fitting white t-shirt. The sun behind him caused the subtle silhouette of his torso to show through the light fabric, and another flash of heat clenched my stomach, the memory of so long before now fresh in the front of my mind. I had to concentrate on appropriate behavior, but my recent lack of romantic activity had put my libido into overdrive.
“Nikki doesn’t approve of civilian clothing while we’re on vacation. She wants everyone to look like we’re in commercials for the place. But whatever you do, please don’t wear a Hawaiian shirt. That’s just wrong.”
“Don’t even own one. But what were you expecting me to wear when I had just arrived that day?”
“She made me change the moment we got into this room.”
“Tell me you weren’t happier for it,” Nikki added.
“Come on, the boat leaves for the mainland soon,” said Jason, leading the way out.
In the line for the boat, Nikki spied one of the dancers from the night before. “Gemma, look! He’s the one I had my eye on!”
“How can you tell? It was so dark and they were all in costume.”
“I’m going to talk to him!” she said, and ran off, leaving me with Jason.
“At least she goes after what she wants,” he said.
“Yeah, but she can be a little flaky sometimes.” I looked into his eyes and saw something familiar. As we stepped onto the boat, Nikki busy with the Fijian dancer, I asked, “So, where is Annie, really?”
“How did you know?”
“Let’s just say you and I are kindred spirits. What happened?”
He heaved a dramatic sigh. “It’s hard to say what really happened. Things have been stressful at work, for both of us, and—I don’t know—we’ve sort of started to drift. We agreed something had to change, so she booked us a vacation from it all to try to reignite the spark. She booked it about three months ago, and about one month ago we separated.”
“Oh, god, Jason. I’m sorry.”
“It’s just a trial separation right now. But we think we just need some space. And we agreed that if we were both feeling up for it and wanted to get back together, we’d meet here like we’d originally planned.”
The disappointment on his face was apparent. “She never showed,” I guessed.
“No, she didn’t,” he said. “But I wasn’t totally lying about the assignment. I really am writing an article on Fiji.”
“It’s okay. And I won’t say anything to Nikki. She loves the single life so much, I think she wishes everyone was in it with her.” The boat left the dock and sped through the waters. I watched the rippling waves flow outward in the bright blue-green water.
“So what did you mean about kindred spirits? Are you and Fred okay?”
“I don’t really want to talk about it just yet. I’m not sure about anything right now.”
“I gotcha. So when did you guys get here?”
“Sunday. To be totally honest, I have no idea what day today is.”
“Mai Tais?” he asked. I nodded. “It’s only Tuesday.”
“Shit, really? I was half expecting you to say Friday.”
“Eh, that’s not so bad. At least you can now concentrate on the rest of it.”
“I guess.” I looked up to the front of the boat to see Nikki sitting on the Fijian man’s lap. “Well, they seem to be getting along well, don’t they?”
* * *
After Nikki introduced us to her new gentleman, Siti, a Fiji local, we three left him to his own business and went to lunch. She couldn’t stop talking about him, though. “Isn’t he gorgeous?”
“He is quite handsome,” said Jason, a little too convincing. “If I weren’t married…” he laughed.
“Oh please,” groaned Nikki. “You’re as straight as they come.”
“Okay, okay, Nikki. We get it. Yes, Siti is a very attractive man. You don’t have to torture poor Jason with your droolings right now.”
“Sorry, but I could just eat him whole.” Her green eyes gave off a dangerous sparkle that I recognized all too well. They said, And you know I will.
“Just cool it off a little when we have company, okay?”
“Fine. I’ll be right back. Gotta run to the ladies,” she said, and dashed off to the back of the restaurant.
“You know I don’t mind,” said Jason. “It’s not like I don’t know how she can get.”
“Yeah, but… Maybe I’m the one who’s uncomfortable with it.”
The laughter in his eyes softened. “Is this about the kindred spirit thing from earlier?”
I shrugged. “I thought we were fine. But he forgot about our anniversary—our fifth, which you know is a big deal for me—and when I surprised him with this trip, he couldn’t come. Yes,” I added, “it was my idea to come here, and Nikki bailed me out last minute.”
“Why couldn’t he come?”
“He’s in Chicago.”
“He moved out?” Jason said, shocked.
“No. Work sent him there to do something, I don’t know, he’s never specific about any of it. But he’s there the whole month.” I sighed in frustration. “Did you know, in the entire time we’ve been dating, we have not once gone on a trip together? Not once! I don’t even know if he’s afraid of flying, or gets sick on boats, because I’ve never seen him on one. I feel like he just shut down once we moved in together.”
“Wow. I thought you guys would actually make it.”
“And who all were you betting against?”
“Well, I never thought Nikki’s marriage would last, but I didn’t see the under-aged boyfriend thing coming. Annie and me… I don’t know. I guess I still don’t understand why she wanted to date me in the first place, let alone marry me. You know she called me boring?”
“I remember in college, one of the times she broke up with you.”
“Yeah. If you thought someone was so boring that you dumped them, why would you want to get back together with them, or start a life with them? Jesus, we’ve been together something like thirteen years all told. But somehow, I always kind of felt like she was waiting for something better.” He took a deep swig of his soda. “I guess nothing really lasts anymore. Even Jack and Mary are having troubles.”
“No, not Jack and Mary!”
He solemnly nodded. “Yeah. Something to do with them trying to have kids and it not working. I think they’re taking the stress out on each other.”
So many of our friends unable to stay in a relationship. I knew the divorce rate in our country—hell, even our generation—was high, but I never would have guessed. “Well, let’s make one thing clear: Fred and I aren’t over just yet. I just need to figure out a way to get through to him.”
“Do you, though? Why’d he take the job in Chicago? It’s not like you guys are hurting for money. With your books being published and him working a tech job, you guys must be saving a ton. Unless you guys got a new penthouse apartment somewhere fancy I don’t know about.”
“No, same place. But I spent almost eight grand to get here. I just… ugh. I wanted to do something spectacular, you know? He won’t even go to an amusement park with me.”
Jason started smiling, an unusual gleam in his eyes.
“What?” I said gravely. “What’s that look?”
“Why don’t you?”
“Why don’t I what?”
“Do something spectacular? You don’t need him to have your own adventure. Look where you are! I’ve got an idea—how are you with heights?”
“Heights? Why?”
“Just tell me, are you afraid of them?”
“No, I’m okay with them, but—”
“Great!” he exclaimed. “Tomorrow, we’ll come back to the mainland. I want to take you somewhere I was going to see, anyway. I think you’ll like it.”
* * *
“I don’t know where we’re going. He just said to dress comfortably, but not to wear sandals or a bathing suit,” I said to Nikki for what felt like the hundredth time.
“Yeah, but why?” she whined.
“I don’t know! He said it would be an adventure.”
“Okay,” she replied, frustrated. “But are we talking a hike in the wilderness, or are we talking lions and tigers and bears?”
“Oh my god, I don’t know!”
Jason knocked on our already open door, poking his head in. “Am I interrupting?”
“She just won’t stop,” I growled, eyes wide to warn him.
“Jason! Jason, Jason. Where are we going?” she asked, stepping out of her room in a tank top and her sarong, this time tied at her hip.
“Someplace where you can’t wear a skirt.”
She scoffed. “Seriously? But I totally look great in this!”
“Yes, you do, but they won’t let you participate if you wear that. You have to wear shorts,” he said.
“I didn’t bring any,” she mumbled.
“You only brought skirts? Are you kidding?” I demanded.
“We’re on a tropical island, and I have a rocking body. Why would I hide it in shorts?”
“Just wear a pair of mine, alright? Bottom drawer.”
After she grabbed the first pair she saw in the drawer and stormed off to change, she called from her room, “Hey, Gems? Do you have some shoes I can borrow too?”
I rolled my eyes at Jason in a Can you believe her kind of way. He smiled in return. “Lucky for you, I over plan. Here,” I grunted, tossing her a spare pair of sneakers I had stashed in my suitcase.
I held up a rolled pair of socks at Jason, just as Nikki called again. “What about—” I threw the socks at her. “Oh. Thanks!”
Jason’s smile broke into an amused grin as he tried to hold back his laughter.
Nikki stepped clumsily into the main room. “I think your shoes are a little too big for me, Gems. What are you guys laughing at?”
“Nothing!” we said together, not at all convincing.
“Oh, just shut up, the both of you. We’d better be back by a reasonable hour. I have after dinner plans with Siti tonight. And I want time enough to change into something nice before I go.”
“Stop knocking my clothes, Nik. And if the shoes are too big, just take another pair of socks.”
“We’ll be back in plenty of time,” said Jason. “Just so long as we get there on time. Are we ready?”
* * *
A boat and a bus ride later, we arrived at the edge between jungle and village. There, at the entrance to a small building where a group of tourists was already gathered, was a sign that read ZipFiji.
“Oh my god, we’re going ziplining?” shrieked Nikki.
“Yeah. You like it?”
Nikki squealed and hugged him. “I have always wanted to do this!” she shouted and took off toward the building.
I was speechless. I had never even considered something like this would be possible.
“As always, Nikki is more than enthusiastic,” said Jason, turning to look at me. “But you don’t seem very happy. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”
“No, I want to,” I said. “But this must have been terribly expensive.”
He waved me off. “It’s all comped. The magazine wanted me to try anything I could; gave me a list of everything to do on the islands and said all I had to do was call them up and confirm a reservation wherever I wanted.”
“Well, aren’t you the luckiest kid in town?” His smug grin said it all. “Have you done this before?”
“Not at all. But it looks like fun, don’t you think?”
The three of us got suited up in safety harnesses, white helmets, and bulky work gloves to protect our fingers from rope burns and such. After a quick safety procedures instruction, our group made its way up a path to the first platform. Our group was comprised of a small Australian family, a young newlywed Japanese couple, and the three of us. The Australian family had a daughter that must have been only ten or so, but her precious face was alight with such excitement and determination as to put Nikki to shame.
The Japanese couple insisted on going last, while the young girl volunteered to go first. I admired her spirit. She stepped onto the little stage where two men helped fasten her to the zipline, her father recording the moment with his phone. He wore a proud grin on his face to rival any parent as she waved to him. “Are you ready?” asked one of the men who had attached her lanyard to the line. She nodded, beaming. “Now when you get to the other side, shout Bula! Okay?”
“Bula!” she demonstrated.
“Very good,” he laughed. “Here you go. One, two, three!”
She stepped off the platform and zoomed out into the jungle, a tiny squeal of exhilaration trailing after her. Next, her mother stepped up, waving to her husband and his phone as well. He followed, though with the rest of his family gone, his nerves were much more evident as his hands shook when he put his phone in a secure pocket. He let out a little yip as he stepped out, pink coloring his ears as he went.
Next, it was our turn to figure out who would go. “Nikki, you want to go next?” I asked, seeing she was behind me.
The excitement she had shown bouncing her way up the trail to this point had fizzled out as she looked over the edge of the platform. “I wouldn’t want to go in front of you,” she said. “I’m already behind you. You should go. Unless you’re too scared,” she said, tacking on the dig at the last second.
I looked to Jason, hiding his amusement well, and he waved me forward. “All right, fine. I’ll go next.”
I stepped up, holding out my lanyard to the men who attached me to the line. As they worked, checking that everything was holding fast and was safe, I could see over the edge. The drop was gradual at first, but as always, being above it made the distance look exponentially larger. The jungle surrounded us in all directions, the verdant expanse overwhelming me. I started to understand what the Australian man was thinking.
I didn’t hear the men talking to me, but I’d heard what they had said to each person before me, so I simply nodded along. I gripped the lanyard with one hand and placed a loose hold on the line above to keep myself from spinning on the way down. My heart leapt in my throat and my fingers tingled as I stepped off the platform.
For a second, I thought about closing my eyes, but as soon as the air started rushing past my face, I forgot it.
It was magnificent. I felt enthralled by my surroundings, the humming life of the wilderness flashing past me as I glided through the canopy. I took a risk and let go of the line for a moment and let myself turn back to see the platform I had just left, and saw Jason staring after me. He seemed concerned, and I realized that I hadn’t made a single sound since I stepped up. I waved, and when I started to smile, I felt that there was already a giant grin in its place. I let out a crow of elation, and Jason’s concern melted away.
As I arrived at the second platform, I shouted, “Bula!” and giggled. As Jason zipped in behind me, I found myself bouncing on the balls of my feet.
“So you like it?” he asked, a little breathless.
I opened my mouth to speak, but instead squeaked. I could not stop smiling.
“Eeeeeeeeeeee!” came the sound from Nikki as she came to a stop. Her hands were gripping the lanyard tightly and her eyes were closed. She’d been spinning the whole way. If she could have wrapped herself into the fetal position, I’m sure she would have.
“You okay?” Jason asked.
She chanced opening one eye. “What? Oh, yeah. I’m great,” she covered, wobbling a little as she stepped down. “That was fun.”
“Are you sure? You’re not supposed to do this if you’re afraid of heights.”
“I’m not afraid of heights,” she countered. She looked at me, my face still wild with excitement. “What’s with grinny?”
“I think she rather enjoyed her trip. You know, there are seven more ziplines on this course,” he cautioned.
“I’m fine,” she sniped. “Let’s get going to the next one.”
On each line that followed, I felt more and more courageous. I let myself spin. I pointed my toes out in front of me and let go of the lines altogether, and finally, I sprawled my limbs out and leaned back, soaring through the air on my back. I howled, I whooped, and I roared.
I was flying.