Chapter 10
Pans
The lines of the road blur underneath my bike as I speed up the highway. I can't get away from the clubhouse fast enough. My need to get back to Willow is so strong I ride like a man possessed.
We questioned the men from The Reapers. There was a price to pay for bringing drugs into our territory, and they paid it in blood.
Before Willow I probably wouldn’t have let them live, but she sees something better in me. She makes me want to be better.
So I left them bloody but alive, and with an understanding that there's no going after the witness. That she's under our club’s protection permanently.
She will be once I give her my cut. Then everyone will know Willow is my property. You mess with her, you mess with me, and the whole club will fight in her corner.
Fear grips me as I wind down the road to the cottage. I left the cage unlocked, but now I wonder if that was the right thing to do. What if she’s gone?
I bring the bike to a screeching stop, kicking up gravel as I cut the engine.
“Willow!” I call as I fling open the front door.
I take the stairs to the basement two at a time, gripping my stomach. I need to see her; I need to see her face.
The cage is empty.
My breath catches, and a low groan wells up in my chest and surfaces through my throat.
Of course she’s gone. I left her cage unlocked. I set her free. Why would she stick around for a beast like me?
I was sure we had a connection. But maybe that was just my mind playing tricks. Maybe it was what I wanted to feel.
I go into the cage, tearing it apart as if she might be hidden under the bench. But it’s empty, and her purse is gone.
I head up the stairs calling her name. Frantically racing through the cottage and checking all the rooms.
She's not in the kitchen, she's not in the lounge, and she’s not in the bedrooms. I left the cage open, and the bird has flown.
Throwing open the front door, I cry her name into the trees, an agonized shout that sends a flock of birds cawing into the sky.
But all I hear back is the hum of cicadas.
I slump onto the stoop with my head in my hands.
If you love something, you're supposed to set it free. But no one ever tells you about the pain that comes when it takes that freedom.
I should have listened to the beast inside. I should have kept her caged up.
But I know I did the right thing; I did the decent thing. And now she's gone.
I could follow her, but what would I do if I found her? Lock her up again? As much as I want to, I can't keep her caged up forever.
I have to accept that my precious Willow is gone.
Footsteps on the gravel make my head jerk up.
Willow stands in front of me like a vision from the angels. She’s holding a bowl, and her lips are stained dark purple.
“I went to pick blackberries,” she says breezily. “I noticed the bushes around here. I thought I'd make us a pie.”
I’m too stunned to answer, and she steps past me and into the house.
My hand slides after her and grabs her good ankle. She stops, startled.
“You stayed.”
My voice is full of wonder, and I’m still trying to process it. She gives me a smile, and I feel my heart crack.
I let her free, and she came back. She came back. That means she’s mine.
“I thought you had gone. Your bags…” I trail off.
“I moved them to your bedroom,” she says shyly. “I hope you don’t mind. It’s a lot more comfortable up there. And you can see the ocean from the window.”
I pull myself up and take her in my arms.
“I thought I'd scared you off.”
My hands grip her arms, needing to know she’s really here.
“It’ll take a lot more than that to scare me off. I'm not afraid of your darkness, Pans. And I know the decent man will win when he needs to.”
Her words reverberate around my body. All these years I thought the beast inside me, uncontrollable and dark, made me unfit for human company. And with one sentence this woman has put the beast in its place.
“Willow, you have no idea what you do to me. You unleash the beast in me and also tame it. I thought I was broken and no one could love me. You’ve shown me what love can do. I’ll always love you, Willow.”
Hips brush up against mine, sending an immediate jolt to my body.
I pull her against me so hard and sudden that the bowl of berries goes crashing to the ground. But I don't care. My lips devour hers as I push her against the wall, squishing berry juice into the carpet.
My hand moves down her throat, feeling the rapid beat of her pulse. The darkness rises inside me, and I pull back. If I truly want to be a better man, I should go gently, give her the tenderness she deserves.
“What are you doing?” Willow whines.
“Your first time should be tender.”
“Can you do tender?”
“I don’t know, but I want to try.”
Her brow furrows. “But I don’t want that. I want the beast, Pans. I want your darkness.”
Her eyes are hooded and her breathing heavy.
“Are you sure?”
She bites her bottom lip and nods. “I think I like it rough.”
Could this woman be any more perfect?
I hoist her up by the hips, and she wraps her legs around me as I carry her to the bedroom.