Chapter 4
Lily
Jesse keeps to himself for the rest of the morning. I hear him outside cutting wood for the fireplace, and I hate that after finally admitting his feelings he’s still struggling to accept them.
I wanted to make him jealous today. I’m tired of waiting around for him to make a move. It's so obvious there's something between us. Whenever we're together, we talk easily. We laugh. I can't believe no one's noticed the connection between us.
I know he feels the same. I also know he’ll never do anything about it out of respect for my father. And I respect that. But sometimes a girl has to go after what she wants. And what I want is Jesse.
I make us a simple pasta salad for lunch, and when Jesse comes to the table, there's a new awkwardness between us. We eat mostly in silence, and I hate this new tension between us. It felt like we were getting somewhere this morning, and now Jesse’s back to denying his feelings.
He finishes his bowl of pasta and looks me squarely across the table. “Why didn't you come to the clubhouse this morning, Lily? You knew your dad was waiting for you.”
I put my fork down slowly, stalling for time.
This is what I wanted, isn't it? When I hatched this plan? But now that the moment of truth is here, I feel afraid that maybe I’ve got it wrong.
“I didn't come to the clubhouse this morning, Jesse, because I knew Dad would track me to Matt's place.”
Jesse’s eyes narrow.
“Why would you want to worry your dad like that?”
He's looking at me intensely, and I think he already knows the answer.
“It's not him I did it for.” My voice comes out as a whisper. “I did it for you, Jesse. I wanted to make you jealous.”
He looks at me a long time.
“And how did that work out?” But he’s not cross. He looks amused.
“I almost got my best friend beaten up.” We laugh, and just like that the tension’s gone from the air.
We might be laughing together again, but I’m not going to let this opportunity slip through my fingers.
Jesse might have too much respect for my dad, but it’s not just up to him. It’s time to make the first move again.
Scraping my chair back, I stand up and walk slowly around to Jesse’s side of the table. My heart’s hammering in my chest, but I have to do this. I can’t wait any longer. Jesse wants me, but he'll never make the move out of respect for my father. But I'm not afraid of going after what I want.
“I know there's something between us, Jesse. You can't deny it. I’ve been waiting for you for the last four years. Longer. Ever since I was sixteen, I’ve wanted you. But you never noticed me. Dad’s too overprotective.
He thinks I'm a child, but I'm not. I can make my own decisions.
I can be with who I want to be with. Dad's going to have to accept that.”
My hand falls on Jesse’s shoulder, and he tenses. My leg slides over his thighs until I’m straddling him. His breathing quickens, and I feel him instantly harden underneath me. A surge of wet heat floods my panties.
“Lily…” It comes out as a low growl, a warning, and I love the way my name sounds on his lips.
“I’m a woman now, Jesse. I want to experience everything a woman can experience.”
“What are you doing, Lily?” His voice is choked, and I can see the struggle that’s going on inside of him.
“I’m giving us a chance.” I take a deep breath and look him dead in the eye. “I’m tired of waiting, Jesse. Either you take me now, or you don't take me at all.”