Chapter 3 #2
Her influence was everywhere and annoying. Even with the head of the stables who I had to deal with for the processions to transport my parents to the temple where they would lie in state for days before the funeral and then back to the castle where they would be laid to rest in the tombs below.
The outside caterers we were using.
Extra help for the reception of so many.
The guards who adored her.
And on, and on, and on.
The only one who seemed to see reason was Benson and even he thought I was a bit much on her. He saw her overreaching now that my parents were gone to try and not lose everything she’d had but nothing more.
I bristled when he’d said that, my hormones cooling around him for once. I narrowed my eyes at him. “Someone who is in charge of my security should be better at spotting an actual threat because she is one.”
He ran his tongue over his teeth and annoyance filled his eyes.
“Or if nothing else, I would hope if you’re going to be in charge of keeping me alive, you would trust me when I tell you that someone is a problem I’m worried about,” I continued.
“Otherwise, this won’t work out very well, now will it?
But no, please, tell me how hard things are right now for her. ”
“Sagan, wait,” he sighed when I spun away.
I flipped back around and jabbed my finger in his chest, shocking us both.
“I don’t know what fucking siren’s song she’s got on all of you fools, but you are fools.
I’ve known she’s been a conniving leech since I was ten and she set up that bullshit of me supposedly pushing her when I was home on break.
I didn’t even know who she was and she set it all up.
“Even Mother and Father finally saw through her act and were trying to get rid of her. I forgave them because they had too much on their plates and never believed her over me. But you? You—fine, go worry about her some more and I’ll work on keeping myself safe on my own.”
His jaw ticked and I was just glad we were both pissed now.
Apparently, I could be immature if it was Benson instead of handling everything as well as I had been.
I went to leave but then glanced at him over my shoulder.
“If you don’t believe me—which I’ve never given you reason not to—figure out a way to watch us next time she thinks we’re alone.
You’ll see her drop the act then and mock me that I’m not welcome in my own home and she has more power here.
That everyone here would pick her over me. Glad you would too.”
I left, my emotions too all over to hide how he affected me for once.
Hopefully, I could at least smash down my love for him in a deep corner somewhere. Probably the same place I’d been stashing my grief that was trying to bubble over.
That will end well.
Everything went agreeably with the details coordinating having my parents lie in state at the main temple at the capital. I was numb walking the procession. The only thing I noted was when Elira tried to walk next to me.
Finally, people reacted to something unhinged she was pushing and they couldn’t hide their horror at that. I was the only heir and child of the king and queen. Even my aunts, uncles, and cousins couldn’t walk next to me.
And a ward of the royal family had the gall to suggest something so insane?
I was eternally grateful when my mom’s older brother, Uncle Darren, made several comments that Elira had gotten a bit big for her britches and being so close to power had gone to her head.
Oh, and when did she plan to get a life of her own and stop living off the kindness of the royal family meant for children now that she was almost thirty?
Favorite uncle ever.
I shot Benson an unfriendly look and snorted. Glad some people around me were seeing reason.
Mostly.
My father’s younger brother kept “joking” that maybe he should be regent. So… Nothing was perfect.
Ever.
But this part of my parents’ wishes was. It hurt my soul that they were in closed caskets—for obvious reasons. I couldn’t even see them to say a real goodbye and have closure. There wouldn’t be a viewing for any of us to have that.
Something my father’s youngest sibling acknowledged would be difficult since they rarely saw each other.
It was beyond difficult and there was so much to do that I didn’t even have time to process any of it. I had to get caught up on everything that my parents had both been handling while juggling all of this and accommodating all of the Alpha families coming.
And even more now that Elder Hardin had set his plan in motion. That would absolutely not end well for me, and I was resigned to accept that I would have to take a hit or five to not end up cornered.
Which was why I actually sought out Uncle Darren after dinner Monday night. It was just over a week after my parents had died and I was still in such shock, but to survive what came next, I needed a trusted outside perspective.
Seeing how tired and wrecked he looked, it made me feel guilty to ask for more. He had scruff when he was always clean-shaven.
And he looked so much like Mother. They had the same dark green eyes and classic nose. He raised his eyebrow the same and oddly enough, they were both electric dragons, so they had bright lemon-yellow streaks in their hair.
Which was exceedingly rare. Dragon types weren’t by genetics or bloodline. It was solely about the best fit for the soul and a blessing from the gods.
“How are you holding up?” he asked me after we were alone in Father’s study.
He snorted. “Ignore my stupid question. None of us are fine.” He gave me a crushed look.
“They loved you, Sagan. So much. I know there were issues and—I heard about the fight. Don’t—these things happen.
I snarked at your mother the last time I talked to her too. ”
“About what?” I asked, shocked he was admitting it.
He sighed. “It was judgmental and—I wasn’t being fair. Or maybe I was and honestly, now that they’re gone none of it matters.”
“Tell me,” I pushed.
“I said they needed to do more and stop trying to keep peace or what was the point of having the power besides keeping the power?” he admitted, wiping under his eyes. “And we were talking about you.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I know, and that kills me,” he huffed. “They kept so much from you to protect you and prepare you to be strong so you were ready decades from now. But that’s not how things always work out.” He gestured around as if to say clearly not.
I licked my lips. Uncle Darren was one of the few who knew I was different, even in the family. “It really wasn’t just to hide me because they were—”
He was in front of me and pulling me into a tight hug before I could even finish.
“Never. Never think that, Sagan. Your parents—you were everything to them. All they did was brag. Your mother—each call it was honestly obnoxious how she bragged. This degree or this lecture you gave. Boasting the countries you studied in were impressed with you.”
“Why could they never tell me that?” I wondered.
He leaned away and pushed my hair off my face.
“Because you are the rare gem, my darling niece. You aren’t a spoiled princess.
You are a hard worker and dedicated to whatever you put your mind to.
I might take issue with so much of how your parents raised you, but they weren’t wrong because you are amazing. ”
“I don’t know I can do this,” I finally admitted.
“You can and you will because no one else can and they believed in you,” he told me firmly.
He booped my nose just like when I was a child and was too serious.
“The plan was always for you to fix things out there while they did better internally so it was a better nation for you to rule. You did your job, but now you have to do theirs as well. And you can.”
I didn’t know that they’d felt that way and that had been the plan.
I also didn’t know if I agreed with him.
“I need your help,” I told him instead of arguing opinions, especially when I needed to put on a confident mask no matter who was in front of me.
He searched my eyes and let me go. “As my niece or future queen?”
I flinched, unable to hide my shock at his question. He mumbled an apology and tried to hug me, but I backed away. “I’m not sure how to answer that. It’s kind of toxic to ask me that.”
“I didn’t mean it that way, not at all, Sagan, but I’m sorry.” He wiped under his eyes and then spun away, the grief I was getting off of him making me forgive him. “I was trying to decipher if my niece is asking me for help or my queen is asking me to step up and serve our realm.”
“I don’t know the answer. I can’t think enough to know that answer. I just know if Mother were here, she would tell me to trust you more than anyone else, and that is—I would never doubt you and that’s more than you being my uncle.”
He sniffled loudly and turned back around. “Well, glad my reputation is that good at least.” He bobbled his head. “Okay, what do you need?”
“Your help.” I gave a pathetic chuckle when he simply raised an eyebrow. “I need you here as an advisor.” I internally winced when he flinched this time and went a bit pale.
“That’s a big ask, Sagan,” he whispered.
Immediately, I started backpedaling, knowing better than to reach out instead of handling things myself. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”
“No,” he said firmly with a bit of a growl.
“No, don’t you fucking do that.” He chuffed when I took a step away from him.
“Sorry, you’re doing exactly what my sister did and immediately—sorry.
Yes, you should ask. We’re family and I love you.
Yes, ask. Ask anything, and even if—I can always say no and we’ll find another way. ”
He’s saying no.
He sighed, love in his eyes as he studied me.
“You give away nothing, but those eyes. Your mom’s eyes—always I could read them.
They might be the color of the royal bloodline, but everything you feel is in your eyes just like it was with her.
” He grabbed my arm and made me sit on the couch even if I was hesitant.
“I’m going to need some allowances.” He snorted at whatever my reaction was.
“I’m not going to abuse your rule, Sagan. ”
“Sorry, sorry,” I sighed, rubbing the side of my face. “Everyone else is trying to.”
“Yeah, even baby snakes get bold when they think the predators are gone,” he said sadly, swallowing loudly and looking worried for me. “I meant we’ll need to work it so—yes, I’m in.”
“Okay, so what do you need to make it work?” I asked, understanding where his head was now.
He nodded, giving me a kind smile. “Days still in my area. I can’t—I have people relying on me too. I have competent help and I’ll get more, but I can’t just drop everything and be here.”
That was more than fair. “And you’ll need guards as my advisor now.”
“Smart, yes,” he praised. “Meetings Thursday dinner through Sunday brunch, that kind of schedule so I can fly back and forth.”
“Done,” I agreed. That was actually easy to manage once I got more in place. “And you will use one of the family’s private…” I swallowed loudly.
He reached over and took my hand. “Yeah, it’s going to be hard for both of us to fly for a while.
” He met my gaze and his was hard. “Don’t you fucking listen to any of them using your dad’s last orders against you.
He loved you so much that nothing mattered more than fixing the last tiff you guys had.
That’s what you take away from it, Sagan. Okay? Nothing else.”
“He shouldn’t have done—”
“The weather was iffy,” he argued. “I listened to the recordings.” He nodded when I flinched. “I had to. I had to know if…”
“He got Mother killed.”
“No.” His tone was resolute. “He would not have risked my sister for anything. Ever.” Uncle Darren waited until I nodded.
“That was why I needed to check after I heard the whispers. He would never have risked her. They were in the cockpit together, and after they got the storm report and the pilot gave them the option but said it should be fine, they pushed on.”
I swallowed loudly and took that in. “I really need you here, Uncle Darren. That’s very different from what I was told. I knew it was a blow to land, but that’s—”
“Yeah, but hear it from me that I would have made the same call looking over what they had in front of them.” He squeezed my hand.
“You know how often I travel too. I would have pushed on. It was a storm but not—shit happens. That’s why it’s a tragedy.
You will admit no fault to those on the plane—I will handle it actually. ”
Good, because I hadn’t even realized to do that. I’d just signed whatever to have the King’s Guard who were on the flight buried with honors and everything paid for. I’d been too underwater in my own everything to know to do more.
Which really showed how much I needed Uncle Darren to help me.
We’re not ready for what we need to do.
Too bad. I had to be.