Chapter 17
Sagan
That guilt was short-lived since Kole barely tried to apologize or put in any effort into making amends. He switched to basically blaming me for not making time for him when that didn’t work and playing the victim.
“He’s losing his grip on you and that doesn’t bring out the best in selfish men,” Myriam said too bluntly when I couldn’t hide my confusion.
She sighed when I glanced at her. “Look, you’re going to get rid of him.
We both know it at this point, so—we’re friends now and I can’t keep seeing you struggle with this, okay? ”
“Sure?” Maybe it was time for her tough love approach versus whatever Treena was dancing around. Or I thought she was.
“You gave Kole what he wanted. The bragging rights of banging the future queen but also his freedom to sow his wild oats and be free. You expected nothing of him. He never had to step up. You accepted the bare minimum, and that was all he thought he had to give to get the prize of being prince.
“The way he sees it, now you’re being all demanding and changing things on him.
His pride and narcissism can’t handle that and he’s spiraling.
He’s incapable of putting in the work to win you, and now there will be competition for you when he thought it was a done deal.
He’s going to unravel faster and faster.
Toxic assholes always do. It’s inevitable. ”
“Wow, don’t hold back,” I grumbled. “Thanks.”
She sighed and rubbed my arm. “First, I don’t want you distracted, and you have to fight in five minutes. Second, I’m not judging you. You needed easy. You did nothing wrong. They’re called masks for a reason, Sagan. And they take years for people to see through them.
“You saw the one he was wearing. I saw him at times when he wasn’t. Now you’re seeing glimpses of the mask slipping or cracking. I’m just saying believe that. Pay attention and—you know how to see snakes. Trust yourself and handle it. It won’t get better. It never does.”
She was right, but I almost felt bad for the guy I fought because I took a lot of my upset at Kole out on him. Though it was nice for the outlet.
It was my third fight and the money wasn’t as good, but it was still good money. Really good money especially with how smart Myriam was and how she knew how to work betting and this underground world.
“You got an offer for twenty million to be in a porno where five guys smack you around and fuck you,” she told me after the fight.
“Don’t tell me that shit when I can’t punch men out,” I snarled at her.
She held her hands up in surrender. “Sorry, sorry. Thought it would help you remember men are shit and fuck them.”
I shot her an annoyed look. “I never forget that. Ever.”
But seriously, some of them were fucking pigs. The rematch with the first fighter I’d beaten would never let me—it would be etched into my mind forever. People—even the women there—had been disgusting with assuming it had been a fluke or the guy had had an off day.
Still, they were too sexist and stunned to accept a woman could fight better than a man.
Fine, let them because we were wiping out bookies betting on me.
Avior had also come through with the right contact for the binding NDAs we needed so I could start paying off debts.
Myriam had already handled three of the biggest worries from Aunt Maple’s list, making it clear that the royal family was sorry for the oversight and delay in returning the money… And to keep their mouths shut.
Like shut. There was extra money as interest for the mix-up and the elders tying up funds, but I would go scorched earth if anyone tried to discuss this about my parents after their death.
She said the responses were clear that the secret died with my parents, and while the people seemed curious, she was certain they hadn’t told anyone else.
So at least those three were handled and we had funds for at least three months for the castle.
Once I was queen and the government reopened—at least the financial sector for me to receive funds—I could seize assets from elders and more.
I agreed with Myriam that she go with NDAs to handle several other names on the list and make it clear that once my accounts were turned over, they would be paid back.
That I found the IOUs in piles of papers and no one was forgotten. That I would pay back with interest, but obviously I had things going on, blah, blah, blah. It seemed the best plan to get ahead of it all.
But it all took time and could be a problem. People wanted favors repaid. One of the three made it clear they expected an invitation to the coronation after giving such a substantial, neglected loan.
Yeah, fine, they could have a seat at the temple. Whatever.
What would others ask for though?
Seriously, it was hard not to curse my parents daily.
My phone was full of messages from Kole when I returned to my room and I frowned. He was annoyed that he wasn’t allowed in the residence wing of the castle or direct access to my room whenever he wanted when he lived here. Why didn’t he have a room there or wasn’t moved into my room yet?
“Stop stalling and break up with him already,” Iris said in my mind, annoyed. “Before you become queen. Do not let that be the first gossip people publish after you are crowned ruler.”
I nodded. She was right.
Especially when the texts got worse. He was annoyed I wasn’t responding and like chop, chop. He wanted to invite his friends over, and he wasn’t allowed to without my permission when it was his house too.
I thought about what Myriam said before sending screenshots to Treena asking her advice. Her response was almost immediate.
Treena: Myriam and I spoke and I agree with her. You won’t like what I have to say, but I would let this explode. It’s embarrassing now, but you cannot let him spin it later that this was your grief or anything he can blame you for.
Treena: He’s good at playing the victim. This is the son of your closest ally. How will others treat you after seeing this from him?
Treena: I’m sorry, my friend. You don’t deserve this. He never deserved you. Push his buttons and we’ll handle the mess after. Harshly and decisively so none of these other idiots try to abuse you this way again.
I swallowed loudly and thought about what she said when another text popped up.
Unknown: I will handle the Kole situation if you want me to.
Sagan: Handle HOW?
Unknown: Smack him into line. Break him into a pretzel to amuse you. Put him into the ground. Whatever you want, Sagan. He doesn’t deserve you and I’m having trouble holding back.
Sagan: Who is this?
Unknown: …
Unknown: Sorry, I assumed your aide would have told you that she gave me your number. It’s Onyx.
Sagan: No, not yet, sorry. I was messaging with Treena and your message popped up.
Unknown: I witnessed Kole being an asshole and Myriam did as well. She said to leave it alone and you had to handle it, but I asked for your number so I could confirm with you that’s what you wanted.
Unknown: Please stop letting him abuse you. You’re suffering through enough. Let me help and handle him. Please, Sagan.
I didn’t even realize I was hitting the button to make a call until it was ringing. Flinching, I hurried to put it to my ear.
“Hey, hi,” he breathed in my ear.
“What did he do?” I whispered.
He was quiet a moment. “I can’t make you more upset when you sound this sad. Please let me just—let me get rid of him.”
I cleared my throat. “That won’t help in the long run even if I appreciate your…” Not effort. I wasn’t sure the right word.
He chuffed a few times but then calmed down. “No, I suppose not. I’m sorry. I’m sorry he’s doing this to you.”
“What did he do?” I asked again.
“He was throwing a fit that he wanted to speak to Benson immediately to be allowed in the residence wing or he would be fired the moment he became your mate and took over security,” Onyx admitted. He apologized again when I sucked in a harsh breath.
I let out a shaky breath. “No, I’m sorry.”
He was quiet again. “Why? What could you possibly be—no, please don’t let Kole ruin any chance we could have, Sagan. I’m not like him.”
“No, that’s not what I meant at all, though I really can’t think—you can’t think I can be with his uncle after we’ve been…”
“I don’t fucking care who you’ve been intimate with,” he chuffed in my ear, making me shiver.
“Your past doesn’t matter to me. I only care about your present and future, but you’re not ready for that conversation.
Please, just don’t let Kole ruin our chances or I really might kill him.
It would be different if I thought he cared about anything other than being a prince but—”
I chuckled darkly when he cut off so fast he probably bit his tongue. “Wow, I really am a horrible judge of men. Awesome I’m going to have so many circling me in my home constantly like sharks. Wow, I should just jump into an ice chasm.”
“Don’t joke about that,” he rasped. “Don’t ever joke about that. I’ll protect you. I won’t let them—please let me kick him back to my brother and end this.”
I sucked it up and decided to be honest. “I’m being advised that would be bad in the long run. Vex is my biggest ally and Kole is good at playing the victim. He’ll make it like this was my grief, and—you know this will play badly for me in the end. I’m cold and he wanted to get closer to me.”
I felt better when he cursed under his breath.
“What can I do?”
I licked my lips. “Tell Vex that I’m sorry when this all blows up later.
I didn’t want this, but I have to protect myself.
I didn’t—the elders cornered me into this madness, and I couldn’t let Hardin puppet me.
I couldn’t let them abuse me like they did my parents.
I can’t let seventeen men treat me the way Kole is.
I wouldn’t survive it and they’d win in the end. ”
I wasn’t sure if “they” were the elders or the men.
Or even the Alphas and one of them could take over.
Or anyone who wanted my demise.