Chapter 21
Sagan
“What’s wrong?” Myriam asked me after I drank the potion.
I frowned and studied the bottle. “I don’t know.” I licked my lips.
“Do you remember the taste or…”
I sighed. “I feel like I do the aftertaste, but honestly everything from that day is such a blur and it’s probably just my mind playing tricks on me.”
“Well, I got extras.” She shrugged when I couldn’t hide my surprise. “If anyone needs a night to tie one off and have fun sex—it’s you. Yeah, I got extras.”
“It’s illegal drugs, Myriam,” I hissed at her. “We need to know—you have them in my castle?”
Her eyes danced with mirth, but she slowly shook her head. “No, of course not. I was totally kidding.” She took the bottle from me with a snort. “I would never do such a thing.”
Fucking liar. Seriously, what a pain in my ass. Good thing she was worth it.
She laughed when she was in the hallway, so she probably knew exactly where my head was.
“Come in,” I said when there was a knock at the door about ten minutes later. I didn’t need to look up to see who it was, keeping my focus on what I was doing. “Thanks for coming and doing this.”
Thorn was quiet for an awkward amount of time as he closed the door and stepped further into my childhood room. It wasn’t what most would think of as a princess’s room, definitely not the heir to a prosperous country like Thovudin… But I was rarely there, so what did it matter?
It had been my room since I was young and upgraded as needed. The bed was queen-size, with a loveseat and desk area for me to study when I was there. Nice attached bathroom, but it wasn’t what I could use when queen.
“‘Thanks for coming and doing this?’”
I swallowed a snort. “Did you want me to say thanks for coming and doing me?” He probably didn’t deserve my attitude, but… He probably did.
He hadn’t exactly tried to fix the situation and weirdness between us before he’d left, so I wasn’t really sure what he was expecting.
“What’s going on here?” he hedged.
“I’m reviewing the floor plans of the residence wing while waiting for the potion to kick in,” I answered evenly. “Also, I do want to address the accusation you made against my father. I’m sorry it won’t be as soon as you’d like, but it will take me time to go through—”
“That’s not what I’m talking about, Sagan.”
I raised my head and looked at him. “Well, it’s important to me.
I had a lot of issues with my parents, but my father wasn’t someone to let others suffer because it was easier and he wasn’t a coward.
On the contrary, he sacrificed a lot of himself to keep things going to benefit others.
So I want the answer because it doesn’t make sense to me. ”
I focused back on the floor plan and tried to ignore the tension coming off of him.
He was quiet for a few minutes. “What can I do to make that easier on you?”
My shoulders relaxed and I debated how to answer. “Proof of your correspondence—sorry, proof is harsh. Copies. I’m not doubting you—”
“You don’t think the requests got to him,” he mumbled.
“That’s one theory, yes. You can’t just email the king when you’re not even your uncle’s Beta. It’s against protocol. So I’m sorry, you yourself said not to trust your uncle, so my immediate reaction is he did something.”
“I’m sure he did, but I stood before your father and asked for him to set a meeting with me about the leadership of Starhaven,” he defended.
“Okay, when? I need to know dates and…” I sighed when he chuffed.
“I believe you, Thorn. My father had a whole nation on his shoulders. He could have put it down to circle back to, and that was when the recession hit. Did he get a threat of war you weren’t even aware of?
I’m trying to get you valid answers even if they might be excuses. ”
He calmed down and cleared his throat. “Yeah, that’s fair. I want that answer. I didn’t…”
“I know, and I’m not judging you. I’ve felt the same about them too and trying to adjust as I’m learning more.
It’s hard.” I turned the floor plan and then flipped to a different one.
“I’m not saying you even have to forgive Father.
I’m saying he wasn’t dismissive nor a lazy king.
I can admit he fumbled and wasn’t perfect, but something doesn’t add up to me. ”
“I’m willing to hear the truth—I want it even.”
“Good.” I meant it and I hoped he did too. I truly did or nothing could ever come from this and I would lose a possible ally who knew a bit too much about me and my situation already.
He moved closer and it was hard not to shiver when I felt the heat of his body. “You’re doing renovations to the residence wing too, or is this for security and I can’t know about it?”
I wasn’t going to answer, but then I realized he might be someone understanding about what I was feeling since he’d lost his parents too. “I don’t want to move into my parents’ suite. I have a whole wing and no other royals living here. It’s…”
“Crass. It’s not, but it feels that way to you,” he muttered as he leaned in more. “I was crushed when Uncle just packed it all up and bragged about the changes he would make.”
I swallowed loudly. “Yeah, like that.”
He moved a few of the pages around and after a moment tapped one large suite. “Where’s that?”
I sighed. “That’s my grandfather’s suite. Father had the same issue and converted his bachelor suite for him and Mother. It’s the best option, but I don’t want to do—it seems harsh to tell my father’s siblings to pack up their parents’ belongings so I can move in.”
He moved it closer and leaned over it… And his arm went around me to do it which wasn’t needed. “You have a kinder heart than people give you credit for, Sagan. He died before you were even born. Like ten years, right?”
“Five,” I breathed, my body reacting to his.
Thorn nuzzled my neck and inhaled my scent.
“He’s been gone thirty-three years then.
That’s long enough. They can do this for you—to help you.
There’s no other big suite, and that’s the original suite meant for the ruler.
It would be a powerful statement when people find out that they’re supporting you. ”
I had trouble paying attention to his words with him so close, heat creeping up my sides and seeming to seep into my bones. I swallowed a moan when he pushed my hair to one side and kissed my neck. “I thought we were letting the potion take effect, not you seducing me?”
“Then stop being so fucking sexy,” he muttered as he kept kissing my skin and moved his hand to my hip. “Fucking teasing me by having Myriam call me asking if I wanted to have you again. Making what we shared sound clinical and like I’m a fuckboy to you or something.”
“She was being a good friend, not playing games,” I defended. I turned around and frowned when he snorted. “I don’t remember what happened, Thorn. We left things awkward and contentious and you didn’t even call to—”
His lips were on mine and I forgot why I was pissed and I was annoyed at myself for letting that happen. I wasn’t just going to let him shut me up with a kiss and get his way.
But it was very, very difficult to break the kiss and fight against what I wanted.
I moved away and crossed my arms over my chest, ignoring how delicious he looked staying in the same spot watching me like a predator. He was making it clear that I was his prey in the best kind of way and he was going to get what he wanted.
Me.
He wanted me.
“Don’t snort at me like that especially when I’m valid,” I said firmly.
His eyes flashed shock and then he stood up.
He moved towards me and took some of my hair between his fingers.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. It felt like playing games, but I didn’t think about it from your side.
I didn’t think things were awkward, just you needed to walk away from the conversation right then. ”
I blinked up at him, not sure how to say what I was feeling without calling him a moron.
He chuckled, probably understanding where my head was. “Yeah, fucking stupid move. I got it. I’m sorry.” He leaned down until we were nose to nose. “I’m sorry, Sagan. I’m a stupid man. I should have treated you better.” He became even sexier he gave me an impish smirk… And dropped to his knees.
“I like this apology better now,” I admitted, clearing my throat.
“Oh, I’m just getting started because my apology comes with eating you out. Repeatedly,” he said with a chuckle as he rubbed his hands up my thighs. “And this time you’re going to fucking remember how good I make you feel and love every second of it.”
Except I didn’t.
I remembered a few more minutes of teasing, but the moment my heat roared to life and the clothes came off, it was all a blur.
I woke the next morning to him naked in my bed and not even sore because our bodies healed too fast. I was cleaned up from sex, so clearly he’d taken care of me or… I had no idea actually.
I glanced at him and worried how he would take the news of this. Probably not well.
Rolling out of bed, I put on my robe and sat on the loveseat debating how to handle this. Not just him but all of it.
Thorn took in a deep breath and raised his hand to scrub his face before glancing around like he was confused where he was. Then he reached for where I should have been and shot up when he came up empty-handed.
Immediately, he locked in on me and where I was sitting. “I thought you ditched me again.”
“We’re in my room, so my dragon wouldn’t have pushed for me to get somewhere safer,” I muttered awkwardly.
He nodded, scrubbing his face again but then slowly stopped, anger filling his eyes. “Tell me you’re not saying what I think you are.”
I swallowed loudly. “It’s not my fault.”