14. Dead Lungs Heaving
14
DEAD LUNGS HEAVING
“What the hell am I supposed to do?” I rub a hand over my face and sink my head into the backrest of the couch in Merrick’s suite.
“There’s nothing you can do.” He takes a sip of his drink. “That’s why I told you to run.”
I roll my head toward him with a glare, and he shrugs.
“Run? How? Where? Even if I had a plan, I’m literally trapped on an island right now. You knew that wasn’t an option.”
He sighs. “No. You’re right. I guess… I don’t know.” His eyes broadcast the rest of what we’re both thinking.
Yes, Shaw. I remember what happened to you when you tried to run.
He should. My mangled body and weeks of virtual imprisonment were his artwork.
“I hate to say it, kid, but you’re just going to have to suck it up and take this one. He will kill you if you refuse.”
I release a heavy breath, repulsion swirling in my stomach.
McArthur wants me to officially propose to Scarlett. There’s no strategic reason for the formality. All it would take for this engagement is a wave of his hand. But he knows how I feel about his daughter. That it will gut me to get on my knees for her. This is just his latest ploy to humiliate me and reinforce who runs this empire. I’m only surprised he’s not insisting on being there to enjoy it.
I have under three weeks to figure this out because I sure as hell am not marrying that woman.
“If we’re engaged, you better call off the plan for her to visit me in Undertow. They’ll never buy that I went from barely being interested in the woman to proposing in a day. At the very least, make sure Scarlett plays the right part,” I mumble.
“Of course. I’ll talk to her. You better get going, kid. You were supposed to meet her at seven, right?”
Eyes closed, I nod and force in long breaths to steady myself. I can do this. I have to do this. Just a few more days of playing along.
“Shaw?”
“Yeah?” My tone is resigned as I push myself up.
“If I could do it over again, I would.”
I stare at him, not prepared for the blast of sincerity. A chill runs through me at the silent message I can’t interpret. There’s more. What isn’t he saying? How does a stone-cold killer go from torturing a man to apologizing for it?
I open my mouth to respond, but I have nothing to say. Something isn’t right. Merrick isn’t right, but not in the way I always thought.
Facing forward again, I bury my concerns to focus on the present crisis. I’ll have to deal with Merrick later. For now, I have a proposal to make.
“Here,” I say, dropping the box beside Scarlett’s plate as I pass her on the way to my seat.
Another private dinner, but this time in my suite, arranged by me. At least I can eat the food for once.
Her eyes widen with fake excitement, and it’s everything I can do to keep my cool. There’s no way she didn’t know this was coming. She’s spent over a year trying to back me into a corner, and her behavior over the last few days confirms she knew she’d won.
“Oh, Shaw, it’s gorgeous!” She plucks the ring from its holder.
No doubt. I never even looked at it.
“Congrats,” I say, pouring myself a glass of wine.
She slips the ring on her finger and holds out her hand to admire it. “What do you think? Perfect, right?”
“I’d hope so since you picked it out.”
She lifts her shoulder with a smug smile. “I have good taste.”
I shake my head, studying the mounds of food I won’t eat after all. Not with the way my stomach is twisting inside me.
“Why?” I ask, looking at her for the first time. “Why me? You could have anyone. Why hunt the one person who doesn’t want this?”
The mood settles in the wake of my plea. I don’t like the desperation in my voice, but I’m too exhausted, too sanded down to live this life anymore.
She leans back in her chair, scanning me with the covetous glee of a wolf finally sinking its teeth into the fox’s neck.
“Because you were the only one I couldn’t have.”
My stomach drops as I pull my gaze away. My fists clench around the edges of my chair.
“All you had to do was give in, Shaw. Had you surrendered your pride, maybe I would have lost interest. Now…” She shrugs with a cool smile. Now I own you too.
After pushing up from the chair, she circles the corner of the table to approach me. Her gaze locks on my white knuckles still clenched around the seat before drifting to my face. Her expression turns almost sympathetic, which I hate more than any of the other looks she throws at me.
Don’t you fucking pity me.
Air siphons from the room as she lifts her leg to straddle me. With her short, tight dress riding up her thighs, her exposed center settles against my dick. I hate that my body instinctively reacts to her advances, despite the protests of my brain and my heart. My stomach grinds at her pleased grin as she frames my face with her hands and leans close.
“Yes, Roman Shaw,” she whispers against my lips. “I will marry you.”
Her kiss is rough and demanding, her fingers snaking into my hair when I don’t respond. My resistance only seems to encourage her more, and fury rages through me at her smug expression when she pulls away. Hands still locked in my hair, she tugs hard, and I hiss in a breath at the burn.
My gaze lands on hers, and I shudder at the darkness emanating from her depths. It’s familiar and grotesque, same as her father. The kind of shadow that preys on the light.
“I can’t make you love me.” She rolls her hips once, twice, and again, until I’m hard and fuming—exactly what she wants. “But I can make sure you never get to love anyone else.”
With that, she releases me, hops up from my lap, and returns to her seat like nothing happened.
“I can’t wait to start looking at dresses! September second, right, baby? It’s soon, of course, but we will have lots of help with the arrangements. No need to worry.” Her fake excitement scares me more than the direct threat from a moment ago.
I glare at her, absorbing her cruel smile as she confirms everything I suspected.
She’s known about this for a while.
She will do everything she can to punish me for my resistance.
Worst of all, I am neither fox nor duck. Wall nor wolf.
This broken world has made me everyone and no one, proving again and again and again that I am…
Nothing.