Chapter Thirty-Seven
Sierra
I woke to the soft press of lips against my forehead, the familiar scent of Connor, clean skin, a hint of his cologne wrapping around me like a blanket. I blinked, disoriented, the room still dim with early morning light.
Connor was there, crouched beside the bed, his hair damp from a shower, his eyes warm and intent on me. I let myself drift in that warmth; his arms around me, the steady thump of his heart, the way he always seemed to fit around me like a shield.
“Hey, sweet girl,” he murmured, brushing a strand of hair from my cheek. “Wake up for me.”
I stretched, feeling the ache of sleep in my limbs, and let him pull me upright into his arms. He was warm and solid, and I breathed him in, letting myself feel safe. But there was something in his touch, an urgency, a tremor beneath the calm, that made my heart beat faster.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, my voice still heavy with sleep.
He shook his head, pressing a kiss to my temple. “Nothing’s wrong. I just… I want you to see something. Someone. ”
A cold prickle of anxiety ran down my spine, but I nodded, trusting him implicitly.
He reached for his iPad, and I curled into his side, letting his warmth seep into me as the FaceTime app opened.
Jax’s face filled the screen, his smile wide and genuine; his blue eyes crinkling at the corners in that way that always made me feel included.
“Morning, bee,” Jax greeted, his voice bright and teasing. “You look like you just woke up from the world’s best dream. Was it about me?”
I couldn’t help but laugh, the sound bubbling up and easing some of the tension in my chest. “Hi, Jax. No, sorry. Just Connor.”
He clutched his chest in mock offense. “Bad taste. But we’ll fix that.” His voice grew gentler now, careful. “Listen, we’ve got someone here who wants to say something to you.”
My stomach twisted uncomfortably. I didn’t know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t the sudden shift in Jax’s expression—his smile hardening, his eyes turning serious.
The camera flipped, and I saw the inside of some… warehouse? Dim lights and concrete floors, a chair in the center.
And then I realized who was on it.
Jerry.
He looked… small.
Not like the monster from my nightmares, or the looming shadow in the hallway. He looked weak, almost pitiful, and his face was an odd pale color. He sat stiffly in the chair, his hands folded in his lap, his eyes flickering nervously off-screen before settling on me.
My breath caught. I felt Connor’s arm tighten around my waist, but my mind was already spinning. I’d imagined this moment a thousand times, what I’d say if I weren’t too afraid to speak.
Now that it was here, I felt both weightless and impossibly heavy, as if every memory I’d ever tried to bury was pressing down on my chest.
“Hello, Sierra,” Jerry rasped, his voice thin and careful. “I… I wanted to apologize. For everything. ”
The words hung in the air, surreal and almost laughable. I stared at him, waiting for the sneer, the twist of his mouth that always meant another insult was coming. But it didn’t come. He just sat there, looking at me like a man waiting for a verdict.
I felt a thousand emotions at once. Anger, disbelief, a sick kind of satisfaction.
I wanted to scream at him, to ask him why, to make him feel even a fraction of the pain he’d caused me.
But more than anything, I wanted to be free.
I wanted to let go of the fear, the shame, the weight I’d carried for so long.
“You’re apologizing now?” I replied, pleased at how steady my voice sounded. “After all these years?” I felt Connor run a soothing hand down my back, and I leaned into it.
Jerry nodded, wincing at the movement. “I was wrong. The way I treated you… It was unforgivable.”
I felt my newfound anger rise up, hot and sharp, but I didn’t look away.
I thought of all the nights I’d spent curled up in my childhood bed, listening for his footsteps in the hall.
All the times I’d hidden in my own home or tried to make myself invisible.
All the words I’d swallowed and the tears I’d choked back.
“You made me feel worthless,” I said, my voice trembling but strong. “You threw away my books. You screamed at me for making noise. You invited your friends over to look at me. You told me I’d never amount to anything.”
He flinched, his eyes dropping to his lap. “I know. I was… I was cruel.”
“Yes,” I said, the word ringing in the quiet. “You were. And I spent years believing you. Years thinking I was nothing.” The words seemed to spill from my mouth, two decades of pent-up emotions.
Connor’s other hand found mine, his thumb stroking over my knuckles. I squeezed back, drawing strength from his touch.
“But you were wrong,” I continued, my voice growing steadier. “I am worth something. I have people who love me and protect me. I’m not afraid of you anymore. ”
Jerry looked up, his eyes darting off-screen, his face crumpling. “You’re right. You deserved better. I’m sorry for every moment of pain I caused you.”
I was quiet for a long moment, letting the words settle.
I thought about forgiveness, what it meant, and what it cost. I thought about the weight I’d carried for so long, the fear, shame, and anger.
I knew I was tired of carrying it. I was tired of letting him live in my head, tired of letting him have power over me.
“I’ll forgive you,” I whispered, the words carefully chosen after years of thinking of this moment. “Not because you deserve it, but because I don’t want to carry this anymore. I’m done letting you have power over me.”
A silence fell, heavy and final. I felt lighter, somehow, like I’d set down a burden I’d been dragging for years. I could feel tears burning in my eyes, but they weren’t tears of fear or pain. They were tears of relief, of release.
“Thank you for this,” I said, turning to look up at Connor. “For letting me have this.”
He pulled me closer, pressing a kiss to my hair. “You’re so strong,” he whispered, his voice thick with pride.
Jax’s face reappeared on the screen, his smile soft, and his eyes warm. “You did good, bee. Really good.”
I nodded, feeling the truth of it settle in my bones. I was free. Finally, truly free. And as Connor held me, his arms strong and warm around me, I knew I’d never let anyone take that from me again.
Adrian’s face popped into the frame, his grin softened by something gentle.
“Hey, bee,” he said, his voice sincere. “You know, I’ve seen a lot of people try to get closure, but you?
You just burned the whole damn bridge and danced on the ashes.
That’s badass. I’m proud of you, too. If you ever want to celebrate with a little light arson, you know who to call. ”
His words made me laugh, the sound cutting through the last of my tears. I felt lighter, surrounded by these men who’d become my family in ways I never expected, each of them fierce in their own way, each of them rooting for me.
For the first time in my life, I felt completely whole. I felt safe. I knew now that I was stronger than anything Jerry or anyone else could ever do to me.