14. Dorian - July
FOURTEEN
Dorian - July
YOU SHOULD PROBABLY LEAVE - CHRIS STAPLETON
I took a deep breath, both to calm myself and to soak in the sweet, subtle scent of her, letting it fill my lungs. It wrapped around me, settling in my chest like a familiar warmth. I inhaled deeper, as if breathing her in might somehow ease the ache of needing her.
The feeling of her beneath my fingertips, so soft, so delicate, was almost too much to bear. My hand brushed over her arm, and the touch was electrifying, as though every inch of contact sent a current through my veins. She was fragile in a way, like something precious I wasn’t sure I could keep safe. Before I could stop myself, I pulled back just enough to press my forehead to hers.
Her eyes fluttered shut, the lightest tremor passing through her, and I couldn’t help but hold on tighter. There was no space between us, no gap to hide the way my heart raced, the way the tension wrapped around us tighter than I could’ve ever anticipated.
I knew I shouldn’t have let myself touch her.
The pull toward her was undeniable. It was magnetic, a force that felt like it was tearing me apart from the inside out. Every second we spent near each other, every brush of her skin, only made it harder to stay in control.
Her lips parted as I brushed my nose against hers, moving slowly as if the space between us was as much about restraint as it was about desire.
I should stop. I should step back.
But with her this close, breathing the same air, I didn’t want to. I wanted to stay here, feeling the way she melted into me, just for a little longer.
When her eyes finally opened, she caught me staring.
“Dorian,” she said, her voice firm, but the way she looked at me told a different story. There was something more there.
Damn, my name sounds good coming out of her mouth. Too good.
“Yes?” I replied, my lips nearly brushing hers.
“We can’t do this.”
She’s right. We can’t.
“Can’t what?” I played dumb, letting my lips hover above the corner of her mouth, aching for just one kiss.
One would be enough.
Right?
She repeated herself. “We can’t do this.”
But her resolve wavered as my nose brushed against hers again, tracing along the curve of her cheek before drifting to the delicate line of her jaw. Our actions betraying her words.
The anticipation between us growing with every second. The gasp she let out, the way her eyes softened when I moved closer—it was all I needed to know.
She wanted this too. She felt this too.
“We’re not doing anything,” I whispered, my lips grazing her pretty, brown skin as I spoke what we both knew was a lie.
I could go back to my life and get this damn girl who plagued my thoughts out of my head once and for all. With just one kiss.
Just one.
I wanted to close the gap between us, let myself fall into her completely, but I knew now wasn’t the time.
Not when she was tangled in the wreckage of a relationship I could never fully understand. I couldn’t let my own feelings blur the line between what she needed and what I wanted.
Colt’s voice broke through the heavy silence, and Noah quickly turned away, her face an expertly crafted mask of composure.
“Sorry to interrupt. I’m heading out,” he said.
He bent down to grab his shoes but then stopped mid-motion. I sensed his shift in energy before I saw it—his usual stoic expression melted away, replaced with something unreadable. His eyes locked onto Noah’s foot, and for a second, I didn’t understand what was happening.
“Dorian,” Colt said, his tone alarmed. “Look.”
“What?” I asked. The expression in his eyes wasn’t one I’d seen from him often. It was serious, urgent. Then the recognition dawned, and I followed his gaze to her foot.
The tattoo.
Her tattoo.
For a brief moment, I kept my face impassive, but the shock from seeing a damn butterfly tattooed on her foot nearly burned me alive.
I didn’t want to believe it. But I knew what it meant.
Her startled laugh didn’t fool me. I could sense the defensive edge in her voice. “What? Why?” she asked, trying to brush it off, but the tension between us thickened. “Do you have some kind of foot fetish I should know about?”
“Noah, please.” Colt’s voice softened in a way that caught me off guard. It wasn’t like him to sound so vulnerable, especially not about something so serious.
She shook her head, trying to laugh it off. “Is this some kind of joke?” she asked. “It’s just a tattoo.”
I stepped forward. I didn’t want to touch her in a way that would push her, but I needed to know. I knelt in front of her, my eyes on the tattoo as my hand hovered near her foot.
For a beat, I hesitated, meeting her gaze with a silent question. Her eyes were wide, but then she nodded.
I grabbed her sandal, slipping it off gently, my thumb brushing against her skin as I did, needing to offer some sense of reassurance.
The butterfly tattoo burned into my mind as I stared at it.
“It’s not just a tattoo,” I muttered under my breath, my voice barely audible, more to myself than anyone else.
“Fuck,” Colt said, his voice dropping into something darker. He was no longer the unaffected professional I knew—there was worry there, too much of it.
“Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?” Noah demanded, her tone growing more desperate.
I pulled my hand back, feeling her skin slipping from my fingertips.
Colt’s jaw clenched tightly. “It’s identical to the mark on John’s most recent victims.”
“What? What mark?” Noah’s voice cracked, the panic creeping in.
“He’s carving a butterfly, just like this, into the victims’ feet,” Colt said, his voice filled with the grim weight of truth.
This wasn’t a coincidence.
I could see it in her eyes before she said anything. All the doubt, all the confusion she’d carried with her over the last several months, crumbling into one hard, undeniable truth.
My first instinct was to close the distance between us, to find some way to ease the pain that had so clearly broken her down. I wanted to tell her it’d be okay, but that was a lie, and we both knew it.
“No,” Noah whispered, shaking her head in disbelief, her breath catching in her throat. “No, this can’t be…” Her lips parting slightly as if to speak, but nothing came.
I hated seeing her like this.
I hated the way this situation robbed her of her strength, the way it pulled her into something she never asked for. I wanted to tell her that I’d make sure nothing else happened to her. That I wouldn’t let her face this alone.
But I couldn’t.
She stepped toward the bench by the door, and then lowered herself slowly, almost mechanically. Her hands pressed flat against her thighs.
“How could he do this?” she whispered.
I exchanged a glance with Colt, and in that split second, we didn’t need to communicate the urgency. We both knew. We had to get to the bottom of this.
This wasn’t just about John killing women anymore, nor just about Noah being left to grapple with the wreckage of his betrayal.
It was worse. He was dragging her into the darkness he’d created.
She deserved more than to be left floundering in the mess he’d made. She deserved the truth, to understand if she’d unknowingly been woven into the twisted reasoning he used to justify his crimes.
But a darker thought gnawed at me—what if they couldn’t uncover the truth? And worse, what would it mean for Noah if we did?
Her head dropped into her hands. Her fingers threaded through her hair before pressing hard against her temples. She stayed like that for a moment, her breathing uneven, the sound cutting through the silence.
She lifted her head, her eyes sharp as they locked onto Colt, avoiding me. “I don’t understand. I’ve known him for half my life. Dated him off and on for years. He basically calls my parents Mom and Dad.” Her tone grew sharper, the edge unmistakable as she gestured at Colt. “He was there when I got this damn butterfly. Why is he doing this to me?” Her voice rose, full of anger and disbelief, her composure fraying at the seams.
I moved closer. Gently, I took her hand, offering her something solid to hold on to, even if I knew it wasn’t my place. I wanted to be there for her, though I couldn’t shake the guilt that maybe I shouldn’t be.
Her gaze finally met mine, and the storm in her eyes hit me hard—the sadness, the fear, the hollow ache of betrayal. I was looking at the shards of a life shattered by someone she’d trusted.
Noah had this way of slipping past every defense I’d ever built, making me feel like I couldn’t stay away. Like I needed to be near her. To shield her from everything closing in.
But I couldn’t let myself get pulled in. Not by her, not by anyone. And yet, it terrified me how easily she unraveled me in ways no one else ever had.
She shook her head slowly, drawing in a long, uneven breath. Her shoulders rose and fell as she exhaled, her voice softer this time. “Shit, I’m sorry, Colt. This isn’t your fault…”
“No need to apologize. Anyone would be upset by this.” He ran a hand across his long hair that was pulled back, glancing out the window before returning his gaze to her.
“What can I do to help?” she asked.
“Do you think you could handle being questioned again?”
Before she could respond, I cut in, my voice sharp. “Absolutely fucking not.”
The idea of Noah getting dragged deeper into this mess made my blood run cold. She was already too close to the nightmare, and I would do anything to keep her away from it.
“I’ll do it if it helps,” Noah said, her voice calm, but her clenched jaw and the tautness in her shoulders showed how much it cost her to speak with such assurance.
“You don’t need to get involved in this,” I insisted, my grip tightening on her hand, unwilling to let go.
Her gaze locked with mine, sharp and resolute. “I’m already involved, Dorian,” she said, the words carrying a quiet strength as she fought to hold herself together. The tears were close to falling, but she blinked them away.
Colt cleared his throat, pulling our focus back to him. “From what I know, they haven’t connected you to this yet, but…” His gaze moved to her tattoo. “This ties you to it.”
Noah shivered, her eyes widening as disbelief and fear flashed across her face. “I’ll do it,” she whispered.
Colt stood a little straighter, his jaw set. “I’ll make the call.”
“I still can’t believe I was so close to him and had no idea. He was out there killing people, and I had no clue. And now he’s bringing me into it?”
“We’ll make sure you’re safe,” Colt reassured her, already pulling out his phone. “I’ll get things in motion.”
He gave a nod to both of us and moved into the other room.
“You don’t have to face this alone,” I said.
Noah’s composure broke. Without thinking, I pulled her up into my arms, feeling the tremors rip through her small frame. She barely reached my chest, her body shaking as her emotions finally spilled out.
And damn, I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want to move away from her, not when all I wanted was to keep her safe, to protect her.
After a few moments, she moved back to look up at me. Her eyes were red-rimmed and swollen, but still, she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
“Sorry,” she muttered, forcing a laugh. Her smile was there, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I guess I have a habit of falling apart in front of you.”
“You’re allowed to fall apart with me. Actually, I prefer it if it means you end up in my arms.”
Her eyes widened, as if I’d caught her off guard.
Her dark hair, once perfectly styled, now had a few loose curls that framed her face. She looked younger this way, more vulnerable.
I instinctively reached up, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. My fingers grazed her skin, and I noticed the slight catch in her inhale, the way her eyes softened at my touch.
“I’m fine, really. Just a little overwhelmed,” she said, trying to sound composed. “I need to go home and process.”
“Okay. I’m here if you want to talk.”
“Thanks. Goodnight, Dorian.”
And just like that, she was through the door.
“Goodnight, Noah,” I called after her.
She stopped and turned, offering a small smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes.
Fuck .
I turned to head back into the kitchen but stopped short when I saw Dotty glaring at me. The moment she spotted me, she stormed over, her finger jabbing into my chest like she was trying to burn a hole through me.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Dorian?” she snapped, her voice seething with fire.
I straightened, trying to keep cool, but the knot in my stomach told me I was in for it.
“What?” I asked.
“What? What ?” She let out a sharp sigh, disbelief thick in her voice. “How about you hitting on my best friend? You know, the one who’s still reeling after her ex turned out to be a fucking serial killer?”
“I’m well aware of her situation.”
“You’re one to talk, though, Dot. Considering you’re dating your brother’s best friend,” Trent chimed in with a laugh, clearly enjoying the show.
Dotty didn’t even glance at him. Her eyes were locked on me. She swatted at his chest without breaking her focus, silencing him.
“She’s healing, Dorian!” Dotty shouted, low and protective. “She doesn’t need you showing up and fucking with her head. This is enough already. She doesn’t need anything else to throw her off.”
I couldn’t help the bitter laugh that slipped out. “What, so I’m just an asshole then?” I shot back, but as soon as the words left my mouth, I realized she was right. She always was.
“Yes, in this situation, you are,” Dotty snapped, her eyes narrowing. “I haven’t seen you with a woman since… well, in a long time. So don’t act like you want anything more than a quick fuck. Go find your hookup somewhere else.”
Her words landed, but not for the reason I expected. Not for the reason they should have.
Of course, I was attracted to Noah—anyone with eyes could see how perfect she was.
But the way Dotty threw out those accusations, like it was all about a quick hookup, hit deeper than I wanted to admit.
She had a point, though. I wasn’t ready to give anyone more than that.
Dotty turned on her heel, her footsteps heavy with anger as she stormed off into the other room, leaving a heavy silence behind. I stayed rooted to the spot.
Trent cleared his throat, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “That went well,” he said.
“Sure did,” I muttered, glancing toward the door where Dotty had disappeared. “It was overdue. Haven’t pissed her off like that since she moved back.”
Trent’s expression softened, his earlier humor fading. “Look, I don’t know what your intentions are, man. But Noah’s important to Dotty, so she’s important to me. Whatever’s going on, if you fuck with my girl, I’m going to fuck you up.” He smiled, but the underlying threat was clear.
“Everyone wants to kick my ass lately, damn,” I said, trying to deflect. I patted him on the back, and he nodded, walking off, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that Dotty was right. Noah was healing, fragile in ways that made me want to protect her—even if it meant protecting her from myself. But the truth was, I wasn’t the kind of guy who could offer her what she needed right now.
I ran a hand through my hair, exhaling sharply as I walked back toward the door Noah had walked out of.
It wasn’t supposed to feel this way.
It couldn’t.
And yet, the more I tried to push it aside, the harder it was to ignore the truth: that I was already in too deep.