31. Dorian - September
THIRTY-ONE
Dorian - September
CHERRY WINE - HOZIER
School was in full swing, and Gracie was already thriving in Noah—Miss Reid’s—class. I wasn’t entirely sure what happened a couple of weeks ago when she was so upset after the birthday party, but she came home the day after the sleepover with her usual bright smile.
When I asked Dotty about it, she didn’t have much information either—only that Noah had a conversation with her that seemed to make a difference. Seeing my usually cheerful daughter so down had been gut-wrenching. I would have ripped my heart out and given it to her if it would have worked.
But when we woke up the next morning, I was grateful I had come over—seeing them in much better moods made everything feel a little brighter, especially after seeing Noah so shaken up too.
The last couple of weeks had been filled with long hours at work and the start of a new school year. Noah and I were navigating this casual arrangement, or whatever we were calling it, without any labels, just trying to live in the moment.
Somehow, she effortlessly became part of my life, weaving herself into my day-to-day, slipping into the smallest cracks of my routine.
I’d catch myself thinking about her in the middle of a long workday. I’d hope it was a day she’d come over for Gracie’s tutoring, or if not, a day I could hopefully convince her to sneak over after Gracie was in bed, so I could pretend she was mine, even if it was only for a few hours. There was something about her that cut through the noise in my mind.
I always thought I would be single forever. It was complicated enough for Gracie without a mom. The last thing I wanted was to open myself up to Noah completely, only to have her leave us one day, unwillingly or not.
And that scared the hell out of me.
But the more time I spent with her, the more that agreement was a flimsy excuse. Deep down, we both knew that casual was a facade.
I sighed, grabbing my coffee from my desk and took the last sip. It was now cold from sitting untouched for hours. The day was a blur of appointments and tasks, but in the back of my mind, all I could think about was Noah. I had to face the truth. I wasn’t just scared of losing her. I was scared of needing her.
I glanced at the clipboard on my desk, the lists and notes blurring together. With a groan, I pushed back my chair, ready to escape and finish the day. As I reached for the door, my phone buzzed on the desk behind me. The name on the screen made my heart skip for a second.
Noah
Hey, you free tonight?
It was simple, but something in the pit of my stomach twisted. Casual, just like we’d agreed. And yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to it—more to us. I quickly typed a reply before I could overthink it.
Me
Yeah, what’s up?
Noah
Can I come over after Gracie’s asleep?
Me
Of course. I’ll text you when she’s in bed.
Noah
Sounds good. I’ve missed you.
The lingering buzz in my chest stayed with me as I stepped out of the office.
I glanced at the chart. “Mr. Pickles?” I announced, trying to keep my tone professional as I stepped into the waiting area.
From the corner of my eye, I spotted Mrs. Hargrove, one of the town regulars, shuffling forward with her ancient tabby cat in tow.
The cat was a legend around here—mostly because he hated everything. I’d been treating him for years, and no matter how often I saw him, he still looked at me like I was number one on his shit list.
“Well, if it isn’t my favorite troublemaker,” I said, nodding toward the cat. Mrs. Hargrove chuckled, her familiar smile creasing the corners of her eyes.
“I swear, I think he knows we’re coming here before we even leave the house,” she said, struggling to keep him from wriggling out of her arms. “He starts sulking the second I mention your name.”
“Smart cat,” I muttered under my breath, suppressing a smirk. “Come on back. Let’s see what’s going on with him this time.”
Mrs. Hargrove followed me into the exam room, setting the cat down on the table, where he immediately crouched low, his tail lashing. Mr. Pickles glared at me, clearly not pleased with the situation.
Me neither, buddy.
“How’ve you been?” I asked, more out of politeness than genuine curiosity. Mrs. Hargrove had a habit of talking at length once she got going, and I didn’t have time to get lost in small-town gossip today. But she was a good client—loyal and always kind.
“Oh, you know, the usual. Arthritis is kicking up again, but that’s what happens when you get old.” She gave a light laugh. “How about you? How’s that sweet little girl of yours?”
“All is well,” I replied curtly.
She gave me a run down on her cat, who’d been vomiting a lot more often over the last month. I focused on examining him but could feel Mrs. Hargrove watching me.
But my mind started to drift back to Noah. It had been over a week since we’d spent time alone together, and the ache to be near her was eating me alive.
It was maddening.
Even when I had her, it wasn’t enough. Her body tangled with mine, her nails dragging down my skin, her breath hot against my neck—it still didn’t quiet the constant need for her. She was in my head all the time, a relentless ache I couldn’t satisfy, no matter how many nights we spent together.
Fuck. Now is not the time to pop a boner in front of Mr. Pickles.
“Nothing too serious,” I finally said, moving away from Mr. Pickles. “A little upset stomach. I’ll give you some meds for him, but he should be fine in a few days.”
“Oh, thank heavens,” Mrs. Hargrove sighed.
“Thank you, Dr. James. I don’t know what we’d do without you.” I offered a small nod.
“Just doing my job.”
As I handed her the medication and walked her to the door, I couldn’t help but think how easy it was with animals—they didn’t ask for more than you were willing to give.
No complicated feelings, no expectations. With them, I knew exactly where I stood. But when it came to people, especially one person in particular, things weren’t that simple.
Thankfully, Mr. Pickles was my last patient of the day, and I was able to spend some time catching up on paperwork and all the miscellaneous admin tasks that always seemed to pile up.
My phone buzzed on my desk, and Colt’s name lit up the screen.
“Hey, man, what’s up?” I answered, leaning back in my chair.
“Wanted to see if you and G wanted to go to The Lodge tonight with me,” he said.
My eyebrows raised. “Did you just ask me out?”
“Not for you, jackass. Want to see my niece.”
I chuckled, leaning forward again. “Right, of course.” He didn’t say anything, so I sighed. “Yeah, she’d love that.”
“Meet you there?”
“Yup, I’m finishing up paperback and will be headed there in ten.”
Colt grumbled an okay before hanging up, and I set the phone down, grinning.