20. Zoe
TWENTY
ZOE
“ C ome on, Zo, you can do this. You told me you wanted to finish today,” Josh said, walking backward toward the barn and beckoning me to follow. “You’ve got a date with Indigo.”
I frowned. “ Today is Indigo day? I thought I was going to get one more session before we did it with him.” There was no way he’d introduced me to enough horses already.
He shook his head. “Nope, we talked about working with one horse a day for a week until we reached Indigo, and it’s time. You’ve got your camera with you, so you’ve got no excuse. Let’s go make some magic.”
I had just come back from my trip to town and I was tired and a little hungry, but Josh was right.
I needed to face my fear, take the horse photos, and then get to work editing all of the new images.
I owed it to both him and Shannon to get their website up and I owed it to myself to submit the best damn portfolio possible.
“Okay, let’s make it happen. I’m ready. ”
“Atta girl,” Josh cheered. He jogged back to me and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, then fell in step beside me.
I felt my cheeks go hot at the unexpected PDA. We weren’t usually obvious about what was happening between us but ever since the kiss in the kitchen, we weren’t exactly hiding it either.
“Why don’t you get set up in the paddock where you’ve met the other horses, and I’ll get him ready.” Josh started for the barn, then stopped abruptly. “Wait, is that an okay backdrop for your pictures? It’s sort of boring.”
“No, I can make it work. It’s all about the framing,” I answered. “You’ve got that gorgeous blooming tree just beyond the fence, and blue sky always makes for a great background. Don’t worry, let me handle the aesthetics, and you take care of the horse.”
He flashed a boyish thumbs-up at me. “Got it.”
I tried to calm the shaky feelings kicking up inside of me.
It was ridiculous, after all. I’d already ridden both Sugar and Indigo, and Josh had introduced me to a variety of horses throughout the week, from the foal to a pony to an old nag and another lovely little white horse that really did look like a hornless unicorn, and I’d been okay with all of them.
Not one hundred percent confident, but not quaking in fear the way I normally would be when faced with a horse at close range.
But there was something about the idea of being in the paddock with Indigo just free ranging around like he owned the place. What if he wanted to go rogue, jumping and kicking anything that got in his way, like a certain petite photographer who could never outrun a rampaging horse?
I fussed with the camera, checking the settings over and over again and taking test shots of fence posts.
The pictures had to work. The blank spaces in the “coming soon” parts of the ranch’s website were making my perfectionist tendencies short circuit.
Plus, I needed a complete website to submit for school.
Josh came out of the barn leading Indigo, looking like something out of a movie. Was he striding toward me in slow motion on purpose, or was my mind playing tricks on me? And how the hell could he look so damn good while sweaty and dirty? I took a deep breath and tried to steady my quaking hands.
“How do you want to do this?” Josh called to me. “Want me to walk him around for a few laps while you take pics at a distance?”
“Sure, that works,” I said, thankful that I didn’t have to jump right into the tough stuff like feeding Indigo treats while I stood too close to his giant hooves.
I brought the camera up and started firing off photos, but they kept turning out blurry.
“You can bring him a little closer,” I said, my voice shaking.
Josh smiled at me. “Why don’t you put down your camera for a minute and say hello to this magnificent beast?”
“Um, I think I’m okay right where I am,” I answered, sure that Indigo was sizing me up as he formed his plan of attack.
“Zo, you rode him already, there’s no need to be nervous.”
I laughed. “Tell that to my brain.”
Josh stopped about a few feet away from me, and Indigo nodded at me.
“What’s he doing? What does that mean?” My voice rose a notch or three, making me cringe .
“He’s just happy to see you,” Josh said in a comforting voice. “He only does that for people he likes.”
I shot him a dubious look.
“Come give him a pat,” Josh said. “You can do it, we’ll wait.”
I took a deep breath, then walked closer to Indigo. I reached out my hand tentatively, and Indigo stopped moving as if he could sense that I needed stillness to feel okay about touching him. I placed my hand on the flat part of his muzzle, just above his nose, and stroked the velvety spot.
“Perfect, Zo!” Josh murmured quietly making me wonder if he’d softened his tone for the horse or me. “He loves it. How do you feel?”
I was trying to figure it out myself. Sure, there was a nervousness I couldn’t stomp down, but there was also something else. A feeling of union with the horse…an understanding. Like he was recognizing my fear and responding so that I wouldn’t feel as nervous.
“I feel like he sees me.”
Josh beamed at me. “Yes, exactly! He does.”
Indigo felt substantial beneath my hand, much bigger than the other horses I’d met this past week, but I didn’t allow myself to think about the hundreds of pounds of strength standing beside me.
Instead, I focused on his gentle breathing and the way his dark eyes watched me.
Then it hit me—I needed to focus on the soulful eyes for the photo.
I raised my camera and took a few slow steps back so that Indigo wouldn’t move.
I framed his head, then zoomed in on his eye.
The lighting was perfect, highlighting the soft folds around them and the shadows cast by his long lashes.
I could see my own reflection in his eye, so I shifted position and suddenly the rolling green and blue sky was mirrored back at me.
It was like the entirety of Lost Valley Ranch was contained in the depths of his eye.
I snapped a few rapid images before he moved, then I paused to look at them.
One of my photography mentors had told me to never stop taking photos to survey my work, but it was one of the rules I always broke. I was glad I did, because the image was so beautiful that it made me gasp.
“Are you okay?” Josh asked, taking a few steps toward me.
“I’m amazing ,” I replied, feeling the thrum of creativity replacing my fear. “Let’s keep going.”
Josh receded into the background as I got to work.
I followed Indigo from a few feet away as he strolled around the paddock, the distance giving me enough courage to deal with the fact that he was free-range, waiting for the moment when the backdrop was worthy of the subject.
I snapped shots of his entire body, then got low to photograph his hooves in the dirt.
One of the images made it look like there were swirls of fairy dust dancing in the light around him.
I photographed the sun bouncing off of his gleaming coat.
The moment he threw his head back and his mane turned into a waterfall along his neck.
The way his legs stretched out in perfect symmetry as he trotted around the paddock.
When I stopped to scroll, I realized that each image was more beautiful than the last.
“How are we looking?” Josh asked, his voice tentative.
“Incredible!” I cheered. I jogged to him, cradling the camera at my side, then threw my arm around his neck in victory. “I got exactly what I needed. More than I needed!”
Josh leaned down to kiss me on the top of the head, and I felt the warm glow of victory mix with the tingle of desire. Absolutely everything felt perfect in the moment…my work, my connection to the ranch, and the way it felt to be nestled against Josh.
We stood with our arms wrapped around one another as Indigo danced around the paddock. Was this where I belonged? It wasn’t a perfect fit, but it felt pretty darn close.
And maybe close was all I needed?