40. Josh
FORTY
JOSH
I felt like a trespasser sitting in Zoe’s spot at the kitchen table on my laptop.
For some reason, booking the ticket from inside my office to surprise Zoe seemed wrong.
I wanted to feel as close to her as possible as I got ready to do something wild and out of character, so I’d set up my laptop exactly where she’d spent her days at the ranch.
Shannon walked into the kitchen and stopped in her tracks when she saw me. “What are you doing in Zoe’s spot?”
I grinned at her. “Getting ready to win her back, just like we talked about. I’m about to book my ticket to join her in New York, just double-checking the arrival times.
” I paused. “I guess I should’ve run it by you since I’ll be leaving you in charge for twenty-four hours. That’s okay with you, right?”
Shannon’s eyes went wide. “Hold up, you’re leaving ?”
“Well, yeah,” I replied, trying to hide the worry in my voice at Shannon’s shift in attitude. “I thought you said that you can step up and handle stuff now and then? ”
“Of course I can.” She scowled. “But that’s not what I mean. I, uh…I have a mare about to foal and I might need to…”
“I thought you said she wasn’t due for a week?
Plus I know you have Doc Lett on speed dial, and she’s just the other side of town.
Shannon, I’ll only be gone for a night. I’ve got everything set up around here, so it’s basically on autopilot for the rest of the day.
All you have to do is end-of-day stuff. Chores.
It’s easy. Mitch is working late, and both Dustin and Eli will be on call. ”
“Yeah, but what if that irrigation sprinkler goes on the fritz again? We can’t afford to lose the water?—”
“I’ll link you in on the control panel on the app so you can monitor everything and shut if off remotely if necessary. Simple.”
Shannon pursed her lips. “Ummm…oh, wait a sec, I just realized that tomorrow is the fifteenth. Don’t you have quarterly taxes due? Have you submitted yet?”
I puffed up my chest. “Sent ’em in early.
I’m a changed man, Shannon. You and Fiona really got to me the other night.
Made a lot of sense. My priorities have shifted.
Now I know that with your help I can keep the ranch afloat and have my girl.
Nothing’s going to stop me, so if you don’t mind, I need to hit confirm and book my ticket.
I’m leaving at six o’clock tonight.” I raised my hand in the air and made a dramatic arc with my pointer finger down toward the keyboard.
“Wait! Don’t buy the ticket!” Shannon yelled, running toward me, waving her hands frantically. She slid onto the bench across from me and slammed the laptop closed.
“Hey! Why did you do that?” I tried to pull the laptop away from her, but she held fast.
“Okay, I better come clean. I’ve been texting with Zoe. ”
My eyes went wide as hope coursed through my body. Shannon was always in touch with Zoe, but this felt different. “What about?”
She laughed. “What do you think?”
“And? Shannon, don’t leave me hanging here.”
Her face settled into a serious expression. “Big stuff, actually.” She took a deep breath. “Zoe opted out of the grad school program in New York. She turned them down.”
Hope started fizzing in my veins, but I needed more information before I could get truly excited. “That doesn’t make sense. Why would she do that?”
Shannon frowned at me. “You really are thick-skulled, huh? She did it for you . In fact, she’s on her way back now. She said you two need to talk.”
A grin spread across my face. “Zo’s coming home? Now?”
She nodded. “Yeah, and you better make it worth her while, Josh. You know how in movies there’s always this big, grand gesture?
Like running through the airport to stop someone from boarding or a frantic taxi chase?
This is her grand gesture, and it’s pretty freaking huge.
But you need to step up too and prove to her that you’re doing something equally big to show how much you care for her.
I get that flying out there to see her was your plan, but now you need to come up with something different. So, what else ya got?”
I leaned back and crossed my arms. “Well, I had an idea, but it was something I was going to do further down the road, once everything was more solid with her. But if you’re telling me I need a grand gesture now, then I think it’ll work just fine.”
“Well, what are you waiting for? Go get it done.”
I was glad I’d showered and gotten cleaned up before running my important errand.
I still had a few things to do before Zoe got home, like picking a bouquet of wildflowers and writing out the message in the card I’d bought for her.
I parked my truck and hopped out, plotting which task to do next.
Flowers. Yes, I needed to grab my switchblade to cut through the sunflower’s thick stalks.
I jogged toward the house, trying to remember where I’d left it, so lost in my planning that I didn’t see the figure moving toward me.
“Josh,” the voice said.
A familiar voice.
“Zoe!”
I spun around and my jaw dropped in shock when I spotted her coming up the lane.
It was Zoe on horseback, beaming at me and sitting high and proud in the saddle.
She was glowing in the sunlight, and I wondered how it was possible that she was even more beautiful than when she’d left the ranch.
I could tell she was clutching the reins a little too tightly, but she looked more confident sitting on Sugar than I ever could’ve imagined.
“Zo! You’re back. And riding !”
I expected her to tap her heels against Sugar’s sides to pick up the pace to get to me quicker, but then I remembered that this was Zoe. She wasn’t going to push Sugar out of her slow-as-molasses walk.
She laughed. “I am! Look at me.” She lifted her arms and then quickly dropped them, one hand reaching for the saddle horn.
“I’m amazed. I thought you and Sugar were through after that trail ride incident. ”
Zoe shook her head. “We made a truce. Oh, and Shannon gave me a bunch of pointers. She’s probably hiding in the barn watching from a distance and possibly recording everything to show Fiona later.”
“Yeah, I’d put money on it.” I laughed and walked to meet them halfway. “I’m glad you’re here.”
Sugar finally closed the distance between us, and Zoe smiled at me from on top of the old mare. “I am too. I wanted to see your face when we talked about some stuff, and doing it through a computer screen wasn’t going to cut it.”
“Did you hear I was going to fly out to see you?”
She nodded. “I’m glad we didn’t miss each other.”
“Can I help you get down?” I asked, reaching my hand up to her.
“Please.” Zoe laughed. “I think I hit my horse limit for the day. But I did pretty good, right?”
“You’re a certified cowgirl now,” I agreed.
The moment her hand slid into mine, I felt a pulse of excitement. We were doing this. Putting everything out there and being completely open and honest about our feelings. I was excited and petrified at the same time. Zoe swung her leg over Sugar’s back and dropped to the ground beside me.
“I did that for you, by the way.” She pointed to Sugar. “I wanted to find a way to prove that I don’t give up when things get tough and scary. And I’m not giving up on you, Josh Cafferty. Or on us.”
I took her hands in mine. “I can’t believe that you conquered your fears for me. Thank you.”
She smirked. “Well, I wouldn’t say they’re totally conquered, but thanks to all that exposure therapy you gave me, I’m getting there. ”
I wanted to sweep her up into a hug, but I refrained, still not quite sure how she would respond. Plus, there were things we needed to discuss first.
“Shannon told you that I backed out of the program at Berkshire and got accepted into the online program, right?”
I nodded. “You didn’t have to do that for me, Zo.”
“It wasn’t only for you. When I got to New York…
let’s just say that being surrounded by other students that I once thought of as ‘my people’ wasn’t as magical as I’d hoped it would be.
So, in true Zoe fashion, I wallowed in self-pity, had a long soak in the tub, ate too much room service and you know what I figured out? ”
“What?”
“I’m happier here. And the reason I’m happier here is because of you.
” She looked down and seemed to be gathering her thoughts.
“But I need you to know that I’m not comfortable being second place to the ranch.
That’s not healthy, Josh. For our relationship or for you.
I know it’ll take some time to figure it all out, but I hope it’s something that you’re willing to work on because that’s a deal breaker for me. ”
I ran my thumbs over the tops of her hands to try to comfort her. “I understand, and I’m sorry I made you feel that way. Truly.”
Zoe’s bottom lip trembled. “Are you okay with my ultimatum? You think it’s possible for you to change?”
My heart swelled at how nervous she looked. I pulled her into a hug and the way she melted against my chest reminded me that home for me wasn’t any sort of building—it was how she felt in my arms.
“I think I’ve already made a good start on proving it to you, Zo.” I said, my chin resting on top of her head .
She leaned back and looked up at me, confusion scrawled across her face. “What do you mean?”
I finally loosened my grip and took a step away from her. I reached into my back pocket and pulled out a key on a piece of twine.
“Remember that little house you photographed? On Deacon Drive? Well, it’s ours.”
Zoe’s eyes went wide. “Josh, how? That’s not… What?”
“Hold on.” I held up my hand to stop her.
“Maybe I should clarify. It’ll be ours eventually .
I worked out a rent-to-own deal with the current owners.
You talked about how much you loved the place and I figured the best way to start stepping back from the ranch was putting physical distance between me and it at the end of every day.
So when I finish up here, I’ll be meeting you in our little cottage every night. ”
“Josh…” Zoe’s eyes filled with tears. “Really? You did that for me?”
“For us,” I said, aching to take her into my arms again.
But there was one more thing I had to tell her before I kissed her.
“Zoe Wilson, I’m more in love with you than I’ve ever been.
The truth is, I never stopped loving you.
And now I want to spend every day proving it to you.
Loving you and being loved in return. It’s all I want in the world. ”
Zoe didn’t answer with words. Instead, she flung herself at me and I caught her in midair.
Our mouths crashed together in a kiss that quickly turned passionate.
My hand slid up Zoe’s back, caressing her and relishing the feeling of holding her close.
She circled her arms around my waist and squeezed me, like she was afraid I’d slip away if she let go.
When we finally pulled apart, we were both a little breathless and stunned at everything that’d happened. So much had changed in the span of just a few minutes. I couldn’t believe my luck that Zoe was mine again. And this time, I had no intentions of fucking it up.
Except. She hadn’t actually said it out loud. Of course, I felt her intentions in the way she kissed me, but I needed to hear the words. I gave her a questioning look.
Her eyes were at half-mast like she was drunk on me, and the naughty grin made me realize that she was already plotting a way to get me out of my clothing. She finally snapped out of her haze with a start.
“Oh my God, I didn’t say it back to you! Of course I love you too, Josh. I love you, I love you, I love you! Now kiss me again,” she demanded.
I smiled at her and lowered my lips to hers, relishing the thought that we were going to spend the rest of our lives finding new ways to prove how we felt for each other.