22. Sienna
Sienna
“EXCLUSIVE: Sienna Lane Takes All Three.”
I toss my phone on the bed. “Fuck off.”
I try to force myself to go back to sleep, but my heart’s beating way too fast. No good can come from checking your phone first thing in the morning, but it’s what I’ve done for so long now. There are always texts and emails to answer.
I lay awake in bed watching the sun come up through the crack in the drapes. The sky is almost purple and full of clouds. I hope it storms so I have an excuse to do nothing for another day.
My phone rings and it’s Jules. “Feeling any better this morning?”
“You’re up early.”
“I woke up in a panic again, worrying about you. So, are you okay?”
“Not great,” I begin, “that uncensored page I was telling you about has two million subscribers, as of a few minutes ago.”
“I spoke to someone yesterday who’s working on getting that shut down. Any news on when you’ll be back?”
“Nope.”
“Is that Cash guy still bothering you?”
“I haven’t seen him since last night, but I anticipate more drama from him today,” I sigh. “The little boy, Henry…” My voice breaks even just mentioning his name. “I’m so scared he’s going to get brought into this. Cash is right—people know where they live now. And it’s all my fault.”
“Whoa. None of this is your fault. You can’t blame yourself for other people’s actions.”
“But that’s it. This is just who I am. No matter where I am in the world, people follow. I’m at the top of a mountain, Jules, and someone still found me.”
“You just can’t take all that on yourself, girl. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But people are getting hurt.”
“Who exactly is getting hurt?”
“Knox, Eli and Cash. Henry.”
“Your Grammy,” Jules adds to the list. “I know you’re still thinking that her death is your fault.”
“But it’s true. I could’ve been there for her if I wasn’t so busy filming all the time.”
“I get that,” says Jules, taking a sip of whatever she’s drinking. “But I’m sure your Grammy was so happy that you were happy.”
“Posing in front of a camera pretending to be,” I respond, dread pooling in my gut just thinking about it.
“I let Grammy down, and now I’m wrecking another…
family.” I suppose it’s more of a brotherhood, but that word doesn’t seem appropriate to use right now—tensions are still high among the guys after what happened between all of us.
“As I keep saying, there’s still time for you to feel better about all this. Reclaim your voice in the sequel. Kick some ass in it and show people what you’re made of.”
I feel like doing that would be like signing myself up for the worst kind of humiliation.
I change the topic, sick of talking about responsibility and a movie I don’t want to be in. “I didn’t tell you yesterday when we were talking, but Holden texted me.”
“Son of a bitch,” Jules says. “What did he say?”
“All he said was what the fuck.”
“Please tell me you ignored him?”
“Of course. Do you seriously think I’d reply?”
“Not really, but I figured I’d check,” says Jules. “He’ll be sliding back into your DM’s soon—don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
He trashed me like rotten fruit and never looked back until he saw my ass on display, which means this peach must still be in season.
A photo is all he’s getting though, and there’s nothing very exciting about it since the rest of the world also has access to it.
It turns out that he’s really not very special. I have the full package—three of them, to be exact. And they don’t need any special oils or toys to make me come.
But he’s still Holden fucking Gray and my heart is still programmed to jump every time I see his name.
I used to crave his texts and calls, and became obsessed with writing his name in my journal a hundred times before bed, sleeping with it under my pillow.
It was a manifestation ritual I did almost every night.
Yeah… I was that much in love with him, so of course I’m still thinking about his text. My body still aches when I think about the filming for Hearts For You. The sex scenes. The sinking feeling in my chest when I flew back to LA, still single as a Pringle.
I think about him getting on one knee in front of Valentina, and the horrible grief resurfaces. It’s not as heavy, but it’s still there. My body still remembers him. Of course it does. He was on my mind every freakin’ day for years.
The smell of fresh ground coffee drifts under the door, calling my name.
“I got to go, Jules.” She’s been talking about a party she’s going to this weekend, and I was only half-listening.
“Promise me you’re coming back. Please, please, please…”
My stomach churns, and the smell of coffee suddenly makes me nauseous. “I’ll be back. At some point.”
“Soon?”
“Um,” I murmur, jumping out of bed.
“You have twenty-three days until the filming starts. The production team wants you there four days before so they can start prepping you.” Jules pauses. “Do I need to remind you again about learning your lines?”
“I’m on it.”
“Sienna.”
“Okay, maybe I’m not on it, but I promise I’ll learn them... eventually. But only for you.”
“No, not for me. None of this is about me. This is your career.”
I change clothes and wonder if it’s possible to change careers as easily. “Yeah. That’s true.”
“And don’t you dare think about texting Holden,” warns Jules. “Okay, bye.”
I set my phone on the nightstand. Can I go the full morning without being tempted to reach for it? Maybe. But I’ll need a distraction. Or three…
It’s a shame Cash had to revert back to his asshole self yesterday after he was sniffing me like a dog. I can’t believe he did that. I’ve never seen that in my life—not even in the raunchiest of movies.
I head into the kitchen and watch Eli pour coffee. Four mugs are out. Does that mean we’re all finally gonna be in the same room? Can these guys manage that without shooting each other evil glares? Or worse?
“Is this for me?” I ask.
Eli nods, slinging a kitchen towel over his shoulder. He’s shirtless. Again.
Knox is sitting at the table. Also shirtless. What is up with these guys and shirts?
I take a sip of coffee, suddenly aware that I’m alone in a room with two half-naked men. The third is probably still in bed, thinking about more reasons to hate me.
“You look a little better this morning,” says Eli. “How are you feeling?”
I look up at him and realize he’s studying my face intently.
“Doing okay.”
I concentrate on sipping the coffee, trying not to choke on it. That’s what a sexy pair of brown eyes will do to you.
And now I find myself staring back at him. God, the last time we looked at each other like this was when his dick was between my breasts. He was grunting, and Knox was inside me. It was so incredibly intense.
We both make our way to the living room and drop down on the couch. The fire is roaring, and the room feels warm and cozy.
I look at the flames while drinking my coffee, and I feel something that could be described as inner peace. Like I can finally take a deep breath…
“You can stay here for as long as you want,” says Eli, breaking the silence. “None of us minds.”
“That’s not true. Cash will definitely mind.”
“Cash will have to suck it up.”
I glance at Knox to get his opinion. Not much gets past those guarded eyes, but the unclenched jaw tells me he’s not opposed to the idea of me staying longer.
“Give us a warning when you’re ready to leave, yeah? At least twenty-four hours,” Eli says.
The hardwoods creak as Knox sits up in his chair, pinning Eli with a look, as if that request has angered him.
“But I don’t know when I’ll be?—”
“I understand,” says Eli. “Just give us as much notice as you can. For Henry…”
“Okay,” I say, taking another sip. There’s no way I’m going to be able to say goodbye to that kid without breaking down and ugly crying.
The floor creaks again as Knox gets up from the table and walks over. He takes a seat beside me on the couch, smelling of soap and pine. I breathe it in as quietly as I can so he doesn’t know I’m doing it.
They don’t get to look this good first thing in the morning. Their hair is disheveled, and it’s making me want to mess it up even more.
But there are more important matters to take care of than my reenergized sex life.
Henry is vulnerable while I’m still here.
Everyone knows my location, which means I can’t stick around for much longer.
Who knows when a team of paparazzi will be up here to stick more cameras in my face?
Next time, people might see more than my ass.
The tingling feeling between my thighs will have to wait.
But now, Knox and Eli are flashing evil glares at each other. My troubles are already receding as I watch them straighten their backs, broad chests fully extended. It’s like I’m watching two gorillas duel. Yes, they’re really that big, and their muscles are like nothing I’ve ever seen.
I lose myself in their flexed biceps, feeling my mouth drop.
“You two aren’t going to get into another fight, are you?” I ask.
Eli dishes me a look that tells me to stay out of it.
I note Knox’s clenched fists and decide to keep my mouth shut. The last thing I need is for one of them to dislocate a jaw or break a bone.
I happen to catch the bulge in Knox’s pants. Holy shit.
The tingling between my thighs doubles as I imagine him in my throat.