24. Sienna
Sienna
Three days later, I’m still at the top of the mountain, avoiding responsibility and missing “important” meetings.
In my defense, meetings were scheduled without checking my availability first. They’re obviously doing their best to drag me back to LA.
But they’re going to have to do more than that.
It’s hard to find an incentive to return when I’m seeing stars at least twice a day.
My obsession with Knox, Cash and Eli isn’t slowing down. I can’t get enough of them.
I’ve lost count of how many times we’ve fucked over the past few days. My clothes are off as soon as I hear Henry’s bedroom door shut at night. I’m climbing onto a lap—I don’t care whose—and being filled up by one as the other two wait their turn.
They shoot each other angry glares and pretend to be mad at each other, but they secretly seem to enjoy waiting their turn.
It’s pretty obvious Cash likes to watch. I mentioned this to him once. He denied it, of course. He’s still letting his pride interfere even though he surrendered a few days ago and admitted weakness.
But I see the way he stares at me across the room while one of his friends is fucking me. I’m the only thing he can see.
I’m an actress after all—I put on a performance and capture people’s attention—it’s what I do best.
But none of this is acting.
I don’t need to act. I wear the guy’s clothes that are all huge on me. I don’t even bother with makeup or styling my hair in the morning. I roll out of bed, skip the mirror entirely, and the men start eye fucking me as we drink our morning coffee.
Life is pretty damn good. Until I check my phone and see that the subscriber page with the uncensored image of my ass has over ten million clicks. Yeah. That sucks.
But it sucks less now since I have better things to suck. When the guys and I have playtime, I completely forget about LA.
But then Jules calls me, asking me when I’m coming home, and all I can think about is how much fun I’m having up here.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” I wince at Knox as we head outside to light a fire. “We could do this inside, you know, behind locked doors.”
“No!” protests Henry loudly, jumping in. “We have to do it outside. It’s tradition! That’s what Uncle Eli always says.”
I turn to Eli, who shrugs and lets the boy run out front with the kindling.
“Can I light the fire?” Henry pleads.
“No,” say all three men in unison.
My heart warms when I watch Henry take a seat on one of the tree stumps. There are four stumps, and Henry’s is the smallest.
“Sienna needs a seat,” says Cash, grabbing a log that must weigh fifty pounds and settling near the stumps.
“Thanks.”
“Be careful not to get a splinter in your ass,” he says.
“Funny.” I waggle my brows and take my seat next to Henry as Eli strikes a match.
Flames roar, devouring the kindling.
Henry clutches his pile. “Is it my turn yet?”
“Nope,” says Eli. “Hold tight, bud. I’ll tell you when.
Orange envelops my vision as the flames grow. I watch Eli’s face—deep in concentration—and feel another fire start somewhere else.
I never saw myself as someone who got attached through sex. Then again, I had only slept with Holden until recently. I haven’t exactly put that theory to the test.
I’m constantly burning with desire, but I also feel a warmth in my chest when I’m with the guys, a different kind of passion. Something bigger than just a physical nature, like a deep yearning for something I’ve rarely experienced.
Love.
Which is strange. Holden was my first love. I loved that son of a bitch way too fucking much, more than he deserved.
But what I’m feeling here is different. More profound. Emotions stir low in my belly when one of them is inside me. I can’t name the emotion; I’ve never felt it before. But it feels amazing. Like taking a fresh breath of air after being locked in a cave your entire life.
“Time for s’mores!” declares Knox, prompting Henry to leap out of his seat. “I think I’ll go first.”
“No! Me!”
“Henry—you’re on fire duty,” says Eli. “You wanna throw that kindling on for me, bud?”
Henry’s eyes come alive in the fire. I look at him and feel a pull in my chest. He’s such a little cutie-pie.
I’ve wanted a baby for years, but you can’t have fame and a family.
Those around me who did have ended up paying the price. It was upsetting to see. The media likes to stick their noses into everything. You can’t keep anything private, not even your kids. Those poor babies couldn’t go anywhere without people surrounding them, taking pictures.
I knew I didn’t want that for my own child.
A shiver runs through me, making me pull the loose flannel I’m wearing closer. I wrap it around my chest and peer anxiously over my shoulder.
People have all kinds of technology these days, crossing ethical lines to capture the perfect photo. X-Ray vision, night vision. The list goes on. And that’s never bothered me until now, with Henry out here
“Are you scared of the dark, See-see?” says Henry, grabbing my shoulder.
“Oh,” I chuckle. “Um… maybe a little.”
All three guys turn to me. They know why I’m afraid.
But Knox gives me a subtle nod across the fire, telling me with his eyes to relax.
I’m sure he’ll handle the press. But if he handles them the way he’d like to, they may end up spreading rumors about my guys being axe murderers.
That could be worse than my ass on the front cover of The Los Angeles Times.
Eli smashes the fire with a metal rod, breaking up the kindling Henry has just thrown in. The flames shoot up again, but quickly reduce in size when he adds a log.
Yeah, the axe collection makes sense now. They’re used to chop up firewood—not to decapitate strangers.
Though I wouldn’t put it past Knox. He’s standing behind Henry and me now, looking out into the valley, which is completely dark.
“Ever made s’mores before, Sienna?” asks Cash, rifling through some bags
Things between Cash and me have felt more chilled ever since I made him cave on the couch. He could have accepted weakness straight away, and I wouldn’t have thought anything of it. But he waited. Strained until the very last second. That tells me he wanted to be right. He wanted to win so badly.
Which begs the question—how many times has the guy lost?
“Sienna?” asks Eli. “S’mores? You have had those before, right?”
“Nope. Never.”
“What?!” Henry’s adorable face scrunches in surprise. “But s’mores are the most spectacular thing in the whole world!”
I raise my eyebrow. Such an impressive vocabulary for a three-year-old.
“Word of the day,” adds Eli, reading my thoughts. He turns to his nephew and fist bumps him. “Great job, bud. Hey, since you used that so well in a sentence, I say you get the first s’more.”
Henry sucks in an excited breath, his eyes glowing in the fire as he looks over at Cash who’s pulling out the graham crackers.
“Two each,” says Cash, passing them around to everyone.
“See-See needs to learn how to do it. I’ll teach her.”
“Seriously? You’ve never made s’mores before?” Eli asks again, lines appearing between his brows. He’s obviously confused. They all are.
Except Cash, of course.
He knows celebrities are too busy to spend the weekend away camping, toasting marshmallows around a fire pit.
And even if I could squeeze in a weekend away, my nutritionist would go ballistic if she ever found out I was enjoying s’mores instead of hitting the macro goals she sets for me.
“Okay, See-see. It’s like a sandwich,” says Henry, holding up his two graham crackers in demonstration. “You’re going to love it. You’ll want to eat them every single day.”
“So why don’t we then, Henry?" asks Eli.
“Because too much sugar is bad for your body.”
“And teeth,” adds Eli, ruffling Henry’s hair.
Interesting. If you ask that question to a kid in LA, they’ll come back and tell you it’s because sugar makes you fat.
I examine the marshmallow when Knox hands it to me.
“You’re looking at that thing like it’s going to bite you,” chuckles Knox.
“I’ve just never had one in my hand before.”
Cash looks up at me, raises his eyebrows, and gives me a funny look.
I laugh out loud and want to give him the finger but don’t because of Henry.
“Here.” Henry hands me a skewer. “Put it all the way through so it doesn’t drop into the fire. That’s the worst.”
I feel a smile spread across my face as Henry takes over, helping me with something I should really know how to do myself.
A melancholy feeling passes through me as I toast the marshmallow over the flames beside Henry. I always thought fame was what I wanted. People knowing my name.
But I missed out on all of the simple pleasures in life, chasing that dream.
Henry squeals when my marshmallow catches fire. “See-See!”
“Oh no!” I slap a palm over my mouth. “What happened?”
“You put it too close to the fire. Here.” Henry takes over. “You can have mine, See-See.”
“No, buddy, that’s yours.”
“But I want you to have it.”
My chest contracts, that melancholy feeling returning. “No, bud. You’re supposed to have the first s’more, remember?”
Knox passes me another marshmallow. I watch Henry put his s’more together while I toast my replacement marshmallow over the fire, keeping it above the flames as instructed.
“I’m going to spread it into each corner,” says Henry, sliding his finger over the graham cracker.
“I hope you washed your hands, bud,” laughs Eli.
“For thirty seconds,” says Henry, “like you always tell me to.” He finishes spreading the marshmallow and holds out his hand. “May I please have some chocolate?”
“You may.”
“Hershey’s is my favorite,” Henry says to me. “It’s super meltable.”
I sniff a laugh. Another word of the day?
My heart explodes with warmth. He’s so stinking cute…
Suddenly, lights appear over the hill, coming closer.
They shine directly onto Knox’s face, and he looks slightly concerned.
“Don’t turn around,” says Knox in a low voice, careful not to draw too much attention. Henry is still enjoying his s’more, blissfully unaware of the headlights.
The muscles in Eli’s jaw flex as he looks, too. “Hen—come inside for a minute with me, bud. Let's get some plates for everyone.”