Chapter 1
Chapter One
S he turned down the music and pulled up into an empty parking spot across the street from her mom’s bakery on Dillingham Avenue. After checking her watch, she snatched her purse off the passenger seat. Then, she paused and leaned forward to peer through the dashboard. Through the glass window, she scanned the steady stream of customers coming in and out of her mom’s bakery.
At seven thirty on the dot, Jack came around the corner in his usual button-down shirt, half-tucked into a pair of jeans, and hair looking like he’d rolled out of bed. He had one hand shoved into his pocket, and the other had a paper tucked under it. Charlotte raised an eyebrow as she saw him walk in and make a beeline for the counter. With a slight shake of her head, Charlotte pushed the car door open with her foot and stumbled onto the pavement.
Heat shimmered and rose from the asphalt.
The early morning July sun was warm on the back of her neck as she glanced down both sides of the street and then hurried across. People jostled past her in either direction, and when she ducked into the bakery, there was a crowd of people already lining up. Charlotte waited for her eyes to adjust as she slid into the nearest booth and pretended to scan the menu. When she looked up, her mom was standing behind the counter, hair in a messy bun on top of her head and a clean, pressed apron wrapped around her waist. She had flour smudges on her nose but didn’t seem to care. Probably because she and Jack were giggling like a bunch of teenagers.
Jack leaned forward to say something, and her mom swatted him away, color creeping up her cheeks. Charlotte felt a strange stirring in her stomach and a heaviness in her chest; jealousy and sadness rose within her, so she made herself glance away. While a part of her was relieved her mom was able to find happiness again, she couldn’t deny how strange it felt to see her with someone else. Despite her best attempts to shield her daughters from the pain, Charlotte had seen how hard her mom had struggled.
For months after her dad died, Charlotte had held her breath, half-expecting to lose her remaining parent. For weeks, she’d stop by the house just to give her mom an excuse to get out of bed and clean herself up. Charlotte had seen the grief take its toll, like a heavy second skin, and she’d never felt more helpless in her entire life.
In those early days, Charlotte cried herself to sleep too.
Her dad was the one who had kept the family laughing and looking on the bright side of things. Whenever her mom got too serious, or Charlotte and Savannah were at odds, it was her dad who used to figure out ways to draw them all out of their shells and into the light. Without him there, the three of them had struggled to make sense of things.
And Charlotte still missed him with a fierceness that surprised her.
It no longer made her double over in pain or curl up into a ball when she sobbed, but the dull ache remained in her heart, and she carried it around wherever she went. No matter how much time passed, Charlotte doubted she’d stop missing him or stop glancing over her shoulders, as if she was waiting for him to come back. Like he could pick up where he left off.
The door to the bakery made a low ringing sound, and Charlotte’s head snapped up. She saw Savannah take a step in, glance around, and hurry back out. Through the glass window, she saw her sister rake her fingers through her hair and then over her face. Then, Savannah leaned against the nearest wall and began to mutter to herself, her clothes looking wrinkled and slept in.
Charlotte was halfway out of her seat when Emily hurried over with two large mugs of steaming hot coffee. “You weren’t going to leave so soon, were you?”
Charlotte nodded in Savannah’s direction. “I was going to go check on her.”
Emily blew out a breath and motioned to the booth. “Your sister is having another one of her meltdowns.”
Charlotte’s stomach clenched. “What about?”
“You know your sister. Everything is the end of the world.” Emily sat down and curled her fingers around the mug. “Give her a minute. I’m sure she’ll come in on her own. You know what she’s like when you push her.”
Except Charlotte had never been one to brush things under the rug like her mother. Savannah took after their mother, in that they both ignored things until they were staring them in the face, demanding to be acknowledged. Charlotte, on the other hand, was more like her dad, the kind of straight shooter who didn’t like beating about the bush.
You knew how to handle these things way better than I do. You would’ve known exactly what to say, Dad.
Reluctantly, Charlotte sat down and kept one eye on Savannah, who was rubbing her forehead in slow, circular motions. “So, how are things with Jack?”
Emily blushed and glanced down at her drink. “Good. How about you? Are you really sure you want to spend your summer working? Don’t you want to travel or something?”
Charlotte shook her head. “No, I’m okay. It’s—”
One of her mother’s employees, a short woman with braided hair and piercing dark eyes, materialized. She whispered something into Emily’s ear, prompting Emily to jump to her feet. On her way past, she offered Charlotte an apologetic smile before she disappeared behind the double doors that led into the kitchen. Savannah came into the bakery as Charlotte was about to leave.
She hiked her purse up onto her shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
Savannah wrung her fingers together and wouldn’t meet Charlotte’s gaze. “You were right. Med school just isn’t the right fit for me. I was too hasty when I chose it. I have to stop taking online classes. It’s too hard.”
Charlotte counted backward from five and then released a deep breath. “Sav, we talked about this. You can’t keep quitting things because they’re too hard. Anything worth having isn’t going to be easy. And you’re excited about this, remember?”
Savannah made a vague hand gesture. “It’s years of my life, and you know me, I can’t even commit to a TV show, much less a job.”
“So, what are you going to do? Back to random courses online until you choose your next career? That isn’t a way to live, Sav.”
“You don’t understand. Not everyone knows what they want to do right away.”
Charlotte snorted. “You think I knew I wanted to be a teacher? I definitely didn’t, and just because I figured it out pretty quickly, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard.”
Savannah frowned. “You just don’t understand.”
Of course, Savannah was going to resort to her classic comeback, never failing to remind Charlotte that she knew better.
Her sister never missed an opportunity to make Charlotte feel small and limited, and sometimes, she had to wonder if it was on purpose or if Savannah really had no idea the kind of effect her words had.
Was her sister really that clueless?
Charlotte straightened her back and pursed her lips. “Yeah, you know what? I really don’t understand. I don’t understand how you’re okay with just wasting your money like this and never committing to anything. How are you ever going to put down roots and settle if you stay on the move?”
Savannah swung her gaze to Charlotte, and her eyes flashed. “Not everyone has to follow your path. There are other ways to do well in life. Not everyone just chooses the first thing that falls into their lap like you did.”
“Pick a path then,” Charlotte snapped with a shake of her head. “And stick to it. Otherwise, just stop dragging us along for the ride. Because this whole schtick is getting old.”
Savannah reeled back as if she’d been slapped, and Charlotte immediately regretted the words. She knew her sister was sensitive and she’d always been on the move and hard to pin down, but it didn’t mean Charlotte wasn’t tired of it. Mostly, Charlotte was tired of getting phone calls from Savannah at all hours of the morning and night because of her sister’s indecisiveness. And she hated seeing how it kept their mom up some nights, muttering to herself.
Without waiting for a response, Charlotte brushed past her sister and onto the street. She stopped in front of the car to put on her glasses and felt Savannah’s glare through the glass windows. Charlotte ignored the churning in her stomach, clenched her hands into fists, and got into the car.
She drove to school with a deathlike grip on the steering wheel.
Hours later, when the afternoon sun was high in the sky, and Charlotte’s shirt clung to her sweaty back, she was wandering around her great-grandparents’ backyard.
With a fence that snaked around the property and neatly trimmed thick foliage, it was one of her favorite places in the world to spend time. It reminded her of lazy Saturday afternoons spent with her nose shoved in a book and the sun warming her face. She remembered how those days had felt endless and how much she looked forward to her weekend sleepovers at her great-grandparents’, where it felt like nothing bad could ever happen.
Especially with a glass of iced tea in hand, just like the one she was holding right now.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a flash of movement, and her mom’s cousin, Aunt Angie, came out with a tray of mini-sandwiches and quiche. Her mom’s other cousin, Uncle Terry, appeared out of nowhere, and although her aunt tried to hold the tray out of his reach, he cleaned out half of it. While her aunt was busy wagging a finger at her brother and scolding him, Charlotte saw her uncle, Rob, sneak up on her and wolf down the rest of the food. Aunt Angie’s eyes looked like they were about to bulge out of her sockets as she glared at her brothers. The two of them gave her sheepish smiles and darted away.
Charlotte was still snickering and enjoying the feeling of her bare feet against the grass when she saw her mom’s Uncle Frankie at the grill, his bellowing laughter slicing through the air. He had one arm draped around Jonathan, his son. When another one of her mom’s cousins, Aunt Suzie, sidled up to them, Charlotte glanced away. She finished off the rest of her drink and ducked back into the house, where loud jazz music was playing.
Her great-grandparents were swaying to the music in the middle of the dining room, while Lara and Glen Jr. were trying to set the table. Charlie, her uncle Rob’s son, came downstairs with a few board games tucked under his arms. Siblings Jason and Maria, her uncle Jeff’s kids, followed in his wake, already bickering and talking over each other.
She squeezed past them and went into the kitchen, where she found her mother, her aunt Sophia, and her uncle Ian. No one looked up from what they were doing, but they all greeted her. Her aunt, Lily, was the only one who was able to pull Charlotte in for a hug before turning to her boyfriend, Ben, with a smile. Her great-aunts, Heather and Rebecca, were whispering in a corner until her grandma, Ashley, appeared, and the three of them huddled together.
When the doorbell rang, Charlotte opened the door to reveal her aunt Heather’s son and daughter, Luke and Tammy, carrying coolers full of drinks. Behind them, Charlotte saw her uncle, Jeff, park the car next to the curb, and her aunt, Tara, pushed the car door open, carefully balancing a casserole. Her daughter, Ruby, came out of the back seat, her usual hoodie pulled low over her head.
As Charlotte wandered through the house, taking food in and out of the kitchen, more and more of the Wilson clan arrived.
Her sister was the last to show up, and when their eyes met from across the room, Savannah gave her sister a withering look that included narrowed eyes and pursed lips. Charlotte turned her back on her and returned her attention to her mom’s cousins, Zoe and Zac.
I’m not the enemy here, Sav. I’m trying to help you grow up. Someday, you’ll see that, and you’ll see I’m trying to help you reach your full potential.
Otherwise, Charlotte had no idea how her sister was going to continue to zip through life, never stopping long enough for it to matter.