Chapter 21
Chapter twenty-one
Roman
Pressing my chin into Garrett’s chest, I stare up at him, my hand tickling lines up and down his right side.
I’ve opened the curtains, bathing the room in a warm glow and revealing a bright blue sky that were it not December in the UK, I would believe is the start of a beautiful warm day.
He looks peaceful, wrapped in the glow and the rumpled sheets.
But I really want him to wake up for no other reason than that I love the sound of his voice, and because I have a great plan for the day.
Garrett’s eyelids flutter, his mouth parting and his nose twitching as awareness creeps in. When his eyes open, his golden hazels find mine instantly, like he’s drawn to me as much as I am to him.
“Morning,” I say, leaning up to deliver a quick peck to his lips. “I’ve had an idea.”
Garrett blinks, then rubs his eyes with the back of his hand.
“How long have you been awake?”
I shimmy my body over his until I’m lying flat out on top of him. His arms wrap around me, engulfing me in a crushing embrace.
I grunt, but melt. Loving the pressure and feel of being held so securely. “No idea. Maybe half an hour?”
“And you’ve been watching me sleep the whole time? That’s a little creepy.” His smile is warm, his tone playful.
“As much as I love watching you – and will admit I watched you sleep for a bit – I also got up to make a cup of tea because it’s already after eleven.”
Garrett groans when I scratch my nails over his skin, tiptoeing my fingers up to pinch his nipple. His big hands shift from my back to my hips and in one swift move, he flips us so that he’s crowding me into the mattress.
“I haven’t slept in this late in years. Must be all the extra energy I’ve burnt lately.”
“Hmm,” I hum, shifting my hips so he can feel what I think about all those energy burning activities. “Happy to help tire you out any day.”
Garrett peppers my face with kisses, his beard rasping over my skin and making me chuckle.
“What was your idea?” he asks, with a subtle deliberate shift of his hips.
I stare up at him, my mouth parting but my mind blank.
“Umm…” He bites the soft patch beneath my ear.
“Your idea, sweet thing. What was it?” Garrett continues teasing my neck, my blood heating and pooling south with every twist of his hips.
“Oh, yeah that. I thought we could – fuck – hmmm, do that again,” I say when he licks the shell of my ear, blowing on the damp skin and making me shiver.
“You thought we could fuck?”
“No, I mean, yes, definitely yes. But, urgh quit distracting me.” I swat his back playfully and he pulls up to look into my eyes. “I thought we could walk into the village and pick up some groceries. And then you could show me how to make that cottage pie you baked the night I arrived.”
His smile is huge, and my own lips quirk in response.
“Yeah. I like that idea,” he starts. “Maybe I could take you to the pub too. For our second date?” Garrett looks away, his gaze drifting to the swaying trees outside, before landing back on me.
His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. “I actually have something I wanted to talk to you about.” He sucks in a breath, releasing it with a whoosh before he says, “I know we haven’t –”
His words are cut off by a banging at the front of the house.
“What was that?” I ask, shooting up onto my elbows. Bang. Bang.
It sounds like someone at the front door, but with no neighbours around and no reason for anyone to be out here, I have no idea who it could be.
“Someone who urgently wants us to open the door,” Garrett grumbles as the knocking continues. He climbs off the bed, shrugging on a pair of boxers.
The knocking grows louder and more insistent and I hastily follow Garrett out of the room, and down the corridor.
“Ro!” a voice calls between knocks. “Dude, open up!”
“Liam?” I say, stepping around Garrett and opening the front door to find my best friend, wrapped in a yellow beanie, matching scarf, and a black funnel coat. He looks as stylish as ever, with only a tuft of blond hair falling out of place where it peeks out from beneath his hat.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, pulling him into a hug. He wraps me in his tight grip before he pulls back, his attention falling over my shoulder.
“Um, Ro? Who is the scantily dressed man in your cottage?” I spin on my heel, watching the blush creep up Garrett’s neck. He lifts a hand in an awkward wave.
“This is Garrett.” I point to him and then to my best friend. “And Gare Bare, this is Liam.”
Liam raises an eyebrow, mouthing the words ‘Gare’ and ‘Bear’ at me before extending his hand to Garrett.
“It’s nice to meet you, Garrett. I’m sorry to interrupt and I am aching to know how you came to be here with Ro, but I have important news and –” Liam turns to me. “We have a flight to catch.”
My stomach sinks.
“I’m not due to leave until New Year’s day,” I say.
It’s only then that I notice the black car at the end of the cobbled path.
Valley Airport Transfers: the white print on the side of the door reads.
My first thought is that’s not my cab driver.
It’s not Charles. But then I circle back to Liam’s words.
“Come inside and explain.” I gesture Liam inside and Garrett disappears down the hallway, presumably to put on some clothes. Liam gives me a once over – Garrett’s flannel shirt buttoned up and reaching my thighs, where a pair of silk undies sit beneath the hem.
“Found yourself that lumberjack, then?” Liam asks, following me into the kitchen. He fumbles with the cupboard and, though I love my best friend, I am irrationally irked by his presence in this space that I have come to think of as mine and Garrett’s. Ours.
“He’s a writer.” I fill the kettle with water and then flick it on. “What’s going on, Liam? You must have left fucking early this morning to fly in from London.”
Liam swivels and leans his hip against the kitchen counter. The one that Garrett and I share most of our meals at.
“You’ve been invited to Spencer Park’s party tonight. I couldn’t reach you on your phone – obviously – and this is a huge thing. Given the whole Santa debacle, him inviting you shows that he has your back. You cannot miss it.”
If I am a pretty big deal in the social media world, Spencer Park is essentially the king of that same world. He throws these huge, usually last minute, parties which is a who’s who of the industry. I’ve never been invited before. Liam is not wrong, this is huge.
Then why can I not muster the appropriate excitement?
“How bad is it?” I ask, referring to the whole ‘debacle’ as he calls it. Liam opens the cupboard and takes out three mugs and a box of Oolong tea that Garrett bought on his trip into the village before Christmas.
The same trip we were meant to do today. The thought makes my chest tighten. I don’t want to leave here. Not yet.
“As expected, someone else did something way worse and though the memes are still around, it’s mostly forgotten. I couldn’t get the sponsors back, but rumour is that there will be some big opportunities at the party.”
Liam puts a tea bag in each mug, then sidles over to me. He places a hand on each shoulder and turns me so that we’re face to face.
“Why don’t you seem happy about this? Spencer fucking Park!” He shakes my shoulders, my fringe falling into my eyes.
Swiping the back of my hand over my forehead, I say, “I am. I just...” I look to the doorway and then back into the blue eyes of my friend. “I wasn’t ready to leave.”
He grins, his dimples popping with the action.
“I figured you’d be bored shitless out here by now. But I misjudged you, Supernova. Nothing is ever simple with you, is it?”
“I was far from bored,” I say with a smirk. “Whatever the opposite of bored is, that’s what I was.”
Liam laughs, dropping his hands from my shoulder and resuming his tea making. He’s made me thousands of cups of the heavenly drink since we first met, falling into old habits even out here in the middle of nowhere, Yorkshire.
“Oh, I bet.” His smile falls when he looks back at me, handing me a mug of black tea.
“But it’s time to come home now. This is your career we’re talking about.
The one you’ve – we’ve – worked fucking hard for.
I don’t want to have to explain how standing up Spencer’s offer could kill your reputation.
Far more than spoiling Christmas for countless children ever could. ”
I tense at the reminder. I’ve done so well putting the whole thing behind me, some days not even thinking about work at all. It’s been the best break I’ve had since I started down this path.
Blowing out a breath, I nod. “Yeah, okay. I know. When do we need to leave?”
Liam blows on the steaming mug in his hand, taking a sip before answering.
“You have thirty minutes to pack up. I asked the cab to wait.”
“Thirty minutes!” I exclaim. “Jesus, Liam. That’s hardly enough time to…” To what? Say goodbye? Pack up my shit? Get myself ready to return to that loveless, empty building that is my home?
Fuck.
“The party is tonight, Ro. You know Spencer never gives notice on these things. To be honest, the guy is a wanker. He’s of the opinion that the world revolves around him and doesn’t consider other people or their plans.”
Liam pulls a stool out from under the counter – Garrett’s stool – and plonks himself down. “Now go. Pack your shit. Say goodbye to your lumberjack and let’s get this show on the road. That plane will not wait for you.”
I huff, defeat heavy on my drooping shoulders.
Going to this party could sky rocket my career.
Not going could destroy it. What choice do I have?
I love my job. I can’t see myself doing anything else, even if it often leaves me feeling incredibly lonely.
Millions of people adore me, but I only want one of them to love me.
Like I love him. Huh. Why couldn’t this realisation come to me sooner? Why did it have to come right when I need to leave?
While I am not one to have regrets – they never accomplish anything – I wish Garrett and I had taken a moment to talk about this thing between us. So then I would at least know where we stand once I walk out the door.
Putting down my untouched cup of tea – not even my favourite drink could make me happy right now – I leave Liam in the kitchen and go to find Garrett.
He’s not difficult to find, the tap tap of his typewriter clueing me in to his location. He looks up when I enter, his lips pressed into a thin line. He nods, pushing his chair away from the tiny desk.
“You’re leaving?”
I fiddle with the buttons on his flannel shirt I’m wearing, looking down at my bare feet.
“I am. I have a work thing tonight.”
“I heard,” he says, his voice gruff.
“I know we had plans today, and I’m sorry for bailing on them. On you.”
I look at him. Garrett offers me a smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Those three little words sit on the tip of my tongue, but I hold them back. This isn’t the moment. You don’t tell someone you love them for the first time and then walk away.
“You have nothing to be sorry for, sweet thing. We always knew we couldn’t stay in this cottage for good.
” He gets up and strolls closer, taking my hands in his.
“Real life was waiting for us.” He squeezes, then drops them.
His eyes are glossy, a gentle flush appearing on his cheeks.
“I’m going to take a walk into the village and stock up for my last few days here.
” Alone. He doesn’t say the word, but it hangs there in the space between us.
Like an annoying gnat that won’t go away.
Garrett heads towards the door of the lounge, but I stop him before he can leave.
“Gare Bear?”
Our gazes meet and all I want to do is run and throw my arms around him. So I do. Because maybe this is the end of us and I’ll never get to tell him how I truly feel. Or maybe it’s only a temporary hiatus. Either way, I need a little more.
He squeezes me tight, his nose brushing along my neck.
“I’m going to miss you,” I say.
“Me too,” he replies.
“Will you call me? Once you’re home and settled back into life?” There’s hope in my voice. Hope that I’ll see him again soon and have the chance to tell him how much he means to me.
Garrett releases me, his throat bobbing as he answers. “I’d like that.” He points to the stand housing the television, the one with two small drawers holding our phones and keys. “Both our phones are flat – don’t forget to take yours – but if you write your number down, I’ll call you.”
“Good. Great.” I undo the button on his shirt. “I’ll leave this on the bed.” Garrett stills my hand.
“Keep it.” He kisses me. Hard. Fierce passion flowing from his lips to mine. My heart leaps and my body melts and I have to fight myself to pull away.
“Goodbye, trouble. Thank you for making this the best Christmas I’ve ever had.”
With one final press of my lips to his, I say, “Goodbye, Gare.”