Chapter 7
seven
AVA
I made the mistake of answering the phone. I knew it the second I hit accept, but I just wanted them to stop. I needed them to stop. The notifications from missed phone calls and text messages I refused to answer were driving me crazy.
I don’t know what I thought I would accomplish by answering, but I should have known it would be absolutely nothing. I think I hoped that in a one-on-one conversation with my mother, she would finally hear me and offer me the shoulder I needed. I held out hope that, at least as a woman, she would believe and support me.
Unfortunately, nothing about her opinions or attitude has changed since that first conversation in their living room. She demanded to know where I was and what I was doing, and I refused to tell her anything.
I’m done following the road they laid out for me and caring about the way they view me. I’m taking a page from my brother's book and doing what makes me happy.
I have no idea what makes me happy anymore, but I’m determined to figure it out. I’ve spent too long focused on the school and career they guided me to, and I lost myself along the way. I don’t have hobbies or friends anymore, and I miss those things. I want to be able to pick up the phone and just word-vomit all my thoughts on someone, and right now it feels like there’s no one.
I know Declan would be that person for me in a heartbeat, but if I had called him that night he would have been on the next flight. He would have been breaking down doors and probably would’ve ended up in jail. I can’t be the person taking Declan away from the life he’s building here. He deserves everything that’s happening with Quinn. Seeing their interactions at breakfast and lunch earlier this week makes me so happy. If there’s anyone who deserves to find their person, it’s Declan. He’s always putting those he loves first and going out of his way for them, and I love seeing him have someone there supporting him.
Sitting around this empty house, stewing in the words my mother threw at me, is making all of it so much worse. Without really thinking about it I bundle myself up and make my way into town.
At this point, I’ve been to Ashford Falls a few times, but more often than not, it was only for a weekend, and Declan and I spent our time hanging out at his place or with the Marks family. While we’ve driven through town and eaten at The Diner, I never really paid attention to the shops or anything else on those trips.
It’s just after five as I leave the house, the sun barely peeking over the horizon on its daily descent. I’ve never minded how the days get shorter this time of year. And in a place like Ashford Falls—surrounded by farmland—the shorter days and longer nights mean you have more time to enjoy the evening sky.
I have no idea where I’m going, but I need to move and the town square isn’t far from Declan’s house. The only thing I’m sure of when I walk out that door is that I can’t go to The Diner. Not if I want to avoid Declan.
Thursday nights have become a quasi-date night for him and Quinn at The Diner after his pick-up soccer game. And I know if he saw my face, he would push me for all the information I have yet to give him.
While he’s still respecting my wishes to let me figure it out before I tell him everything, I see the look in his eyes every time he looks at me and he’s worried. Declan has always been a fixer, and by not giving him all the information, I’m keeping him from fixing everything.
It takes me a little over thirty minutes to reach the center of town, but when I get there I still have no idea where to go or what to do with my evening.
The stars are so bright here. On nights I’m unable to sleep—which is every night—I find myself sitting on the porch swing studying the stars. I’ve never paid much attention to them before, but there’s something kind of amazing in the vastness of space and how we can see stars that are millions of light-years away from us.
I glance to my right and see Quinn sitting in one of the windows at The Diner. She doesn’t even seem to notice the world around her, focused entirely on her laptop. I could stop in to say a quick hello, but I know she’ll invite me to join her, and Declan will be there soon. I'm pretty sure they haven't had much time to themselves since I arrived, and things have gotten a bit more serious since the Fall Harvest Festival last weekend.
Facing the street in front of me, I see the town market and a line of shops that look to be closing up for the night. It’s early, but in a small town these shops won’t stay open much past dinner, especially not at this time of year once the chill in the air becomes more frigid.
Turning to my left, I see another row of shops. The building in the middle stands out from the rest. The wooden exterior creates a warm atmosphere, drawing me in, and, as I get closer, I realize it’s a bar. The hanging sign above the door reads Murphy’s, and I’m instantly reminded of a few conversations I’ve had with my brother about this place. Most people will tell you The Diner is the only restaurant in town—which isn’t necessarily wrong—but The Diner isn’t the only place that serves food. From what Declan has said, Murphy’s doesn’t have a large menu, but the items they do have are “fucking delicious.”
It seems as good a place as any to spend my evening, but as I walk past one of the shops, I’m distracted by a Help Wanted sign in the window. I stop in my tracks and take in the shop, Falls Book Haven, and through the window it looks like a haven indeed.
The lights inside emit a warm glow, creating a cozy atmosphere. A woman stands behind the checkout counter, her elbow resting there and her hand propping her head up as she reads a book lying open in front of her. Around her, the shop is filled with bookshelves from floor to ceiling on almost every wall, not an inch of open shelf space. In front of the shelves, there are several chairs that look like they would be perfect for reading. The shop looks like it was designed to invite people to spend the day there, not just as a pit stop along the way.
I step inside and a bell rings, making the woman behind the counter glance up.
“Sorry, you’re probably getting ready to close, but I saw the sign in the window…” I trail off, not really knowing where I’m going with that train of thought. I know I need a job, I can’t sit at home—or Declan’s house—doing nothing, but working at a bookshop? It would be a massive change from what I’ve been doing for the last five years, eight if I count my three years in law school.
“Oh.” The woman studies me for a minute before continuing. “It’s just part-time. Stocking shelves, keeping the place clean, that kind of thing.”
“Gotcha.”
We’re both quiet after that.
I don’t know what to say or do. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing for me to step into the store. I honestly didn’t even realize I was doing it until I heard the bell ring. Now that I’ve asked about the job, I think I’m interested.
“Are you new in town?” the woman asks, closing her book but staying where she is behind the counter. She has a kind look. Her face is free of makeup, and she has a natural beauty about her. Her hair, clipped back at the base of her neck with a few pieces falling in natural waves around her face gives off a laid-back vibe. Even dressed in an oversized sweater, I can tell she has a small frame, though the look in her eye makes me think she’s much stronger than she appears.
“Technically, I’m only visiting,” I tell her as I step closer to the counter.
“Technically?”
“I’m visiting my brother, but my situation back home has changed, and I think it might be time for something new.” I offer her a small shrug.
“Change can be good.” She glances away briefly before looking back at me, offering me her hand. “Abbey Selbey, the manager here at Falls Book Haven.”
I shake her hand and smile. “Ava Day.”
“Nice to meet you, Ava.” She studies me some more before letting my hand go. “That sign has been up for a few weeks now, and you’re the first person to ask about it. So I think it’s safe to say the position is yours if you want it, but it won’t start until January. The owner is making a few changes to the place and doesn’t want to bring on new staff until then.”
I nod my head, looking around the shop some more. I thought it looked like a haven from outside, but being inside the store brings it to life in a whole new way. The exposed brick wall behind the counter, the leather chairs, the dark shelves, the soft amber lights—all of it creating this cozy atmosphere that sucks me in.
I turn back to her. “Can I think about it?”
“Absolutely.”
“Thank you.” I give her a small smile before turning and walking out the door toward Murphy’s as I planned before getting distracted.
I feel a little lighter. I know I didn’t do anything, but just stepping into that store and asking about a job makes me realize I can do that. If I’m really done caring about what my parents want, then I can take that job or any other job I want. I’m actually free of them.
Of course, that light feeling comes crashing down the second I hear my phone ring and see that my father calling me. Just seeing his face on my screen has my entire body going tight. I’m frozen in place, half in the bar and half out, just staring at my phone for a moment before I ignore it and shove it back in my pocket.
When I glance up, I pause for a different reason. This bar feels exactly like walking into an old Irish pub, and I’m instantly in love with it. The warm, dark tones of the place create a welcoming atmosphere, and even though I’ve never been here, it feels like home. There’s a warmth in the air that somehow makes it easier to breathe—something I’ve only ever experienced with my grandparents, Declan, and the Marks family.
“Can I help you, miss?” a man asks from behind the bar. “You’re letting in the chilly November air.”
I feel my body tighten more, preparing for the harsh comments I assume will follow, but before they can, I step further in, letting the door fall closed behind me. “Oh! Sorry. I didn’t—I didn’t mean to.”
“It’s all right.” He offers me a small smile, his voice kind. “You’re Declan’s sister, right?”
I look at him, confused. “How do you—never mind.” I step up to the bar, taking a seat in front of the man. “Small towns, right?”
“Afraid so. But also, your brother speaks very highly of you. I’ve seen your picture plenty, and it’s in your eyes. You and your brother share the same eyes.”
I notice the tattoos on his fingers first, and I think I should be nervous speaking to him, but something about him has me relaxing slightly. I feel my shoulders fall from my ears and that light feeling I had only moments before starts to return.
“He’s a bit of a teddy bear, that brother of mine.”
The man laughs, deep and hearty, dimples easy to see even behind his beard. “That he is. He can’t seem to help himself.”
I laugh quietly, knowing truer words have never been spoken.
“I’m Walter, but most people call me Walt.”
“Nice to meet you, Walt. I’m Ava.”
“Lovely to meet you, Ava. Do you need a menu?”
“Can I just get a cheeseburger? I haven’t had one in far too long and a burger sounds really good right now.” I sag in my seat, letting some of the weight of everything lift, at least for a little while.
“Sure thing. Fries okay with that?” Walt’s smile is kind, though I think there might be a little pity peeking through in his eyes.
“Yeah, and a Guinness would be great.”
“A woman after my own heart,” he jokes, placing his hands over his heart.
He drops his hands after a moment, placing them on the bar in front of me, almost as if he wants to give my arm a comforting squeeze but decides against it. “I’ll go put that order in for you.”
Walt isn’t gone long before I feel someone take the seat next to me. I’m getting ready to tell them to leave me alone when I realize it’s Gage Flynn, the deputy from the courthouse earlier this week, a charming smile quickly growing on his face.