Chapter 16
sixteen
GAGE
Have I made it a point to be at Murphy’s by the time the clock strikes six on Thursday nights in the hopes that a gorgeous brunette will walk in and I can have dinner with her? Yeah, I have.
Did that happen last week after our Monday morning run-in at the bookstore? No, it did not.
Is that stopping me from walking into Murphy’s tonight? Ten days since I last saw Ava Day? No, it’s not.
Have I been counting the days since I last saw Ava? Yes, I have.
“You doing all right there, kid?” Walt asks from behind the bar after the fifth time I’ve turned to see who’s opened the door.
I know I’m acting a little pathetic and way out of character here, but that’s not stopping me from watching that door like it’s my salvation.
I turn back to Walt, forcing myself to continue looking at him even when I hear the door open for the sixth time in the hour since I’ve been here. “Yeah, of course.” I pick up my beer and take a drink. “Did you talk to Jude today?”
Walt’s face falls, but only for a moment before he forces a smile. “Yeah. Unfortunately, his trip to DC got pushed, so I won’t see him for Christmas this year.” He places the glass he was drying on the shelf behind him before turning back to pick up another. “Hopefully in the new year.”
“Sorry, Walt. I know how much you miss him.”
“This town had a way of bringing him down. I understand why he doesn’t like coming back. I wish I were better at relinquishing control long enough to visit him more. But I’m an old man set in my ways, and you know what they say, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”
It’s not the first time I’ve heard Walt mention the town being an issue for Jude, but I’ve never figured out what he means when he says it. From what I remember, when we were kids Jude never had any issues other than Abbey’s dad. But my parents always said that had more to do with the history between Walt and Abbey’s mom than anything else.
“You’re not old, Walt,” I say, ignoring the comment about Jude for now. “You’re not even sixty yet. We’ve got years with you and plenty of time to teach you new tricks if you want.”
Walt laughs as he puts the clean glass away and grabs another. “You definitely keep me feeling young, that’s for sure.”
“I have no idea what you mean,” I say in mock outrage, sitting straighter in my seat. “I’m the epitome of acting my age and always have been.”
“Not if the stories your dad told are to be believed,” a feminine voice says from my side as they take the seat next to me.
I don't know if it was Walt's intention, but my conversation with him distracted me to the point that I hadn't even heard the door to the bar open. All night, I’ve struggled to fight my instinct to see who was entering each time the wind swept in. And no matter how much I fight it now, I can't stop the smirk from sliding across my lips as I turn to look at Ava.
I desperately want to know why she’s been avoiding me—because I have no doubt she has been avoiding me. But I have a feeling if I call her out on it, she’ll get spooked and run, avoiding me for who knows how long the next time.
I spin in my seat to face her. “I thought you figured it out that night. My dad loves to exaggerate. You have to look for context clues to determine which parts are true and which are inflated for dramatic effect.”
“So you and your friends didn’t toilet paper the principal’s house when you were in high school? And your senior class prank didn’t include moving the principal’s office furniture to the roof?”
Walt laughs as he sets a pint of Guinness in front of Ava without her asking for it. She smiles in thanks before looking back at me.
“Well, if you knew anything about Dr. Killroy, you would understand why we did it. That man was a kill joy .”
“What an unfortunate name,” Walt mumbles. “But Gage is right. That man was principal when I was in school and was a complete grumpy ass back then. So that tells you how unpleasant he was by the time Gage graduated. Should have retired well before then.”
“Hey, Walt!” Red Weaver, the town mayor, calls from the other end of the bar.
“Excuse me,” Walt says before he walks away.
Ava and I are quiet—both of us nursing our beers.
“So…” she starts, taking another sip. I’m sure she wants me to say something, but I’m letting her take the lead on where this conversation goes. “I’ve been avoiding you.”
I’m shocked she comes right out and says it. But I’m glad she does. “Yeah, I know.”
Her brows pinch in, asking without words.
“It’s a small town. Considering we’ve run into each other a few times outside of Thursday nights here, it was strange not running into you anywhere for the last two weeks,” I answer the unspoken question, turning to face her.
“Okay.” Ava turns in her seat, her legs sandwiching between mine. “I’m working on going after the things I want and not letting what I think other people will say or think dictate my actions.”
“That’s a good way to live life,” I interject.
“Yeah, well, it’s new for me…” Her voice trails off, and her eyes bounce between mine as she studies me.
I give her a minute, but when she doesn’t say anything, I press. “What does that have to do with avoiding me?”
“Look, I’ve done the one-night stand thing before—though, I’ve never done it with someone I knew I would see again.”
“Okay…” I hedge when she doesn’t continue.
“So, it’s not new to me. I know how it works, and I’m okay with it.” She stops again.
“But?” I ask.
“But you and I didn’t feel like a one-night stand.”
“Agreed.”
“I’m not looking for anything serious. As a matter of fact, I think I’m probably in the worst place I could possibly be to even consider a serious relationship.”
I lean closer to her, whispering as if what I’m about to say is a secret, even though everyone in this town already knows it. “I’m not known for serious relationships.”
She continues as if I didn’t say anything. “I don’t do casual with people I expect to see often outside the bedroom.” She looks me straight in the eye, unafraid to speak her mind, and I find it extremely attractive. “But I think I want to make an exception. With the understanding that nobody knows.”
“I like your honesty,” I tell her.
“Look, it’s no one’s business. And I know asking to keep it a secret implies that I care what other people think—which I’m trying not to do anymore—but that’s not why I want it to be a secret.”
“All right.”
Again, she plows right on through with her speech. “I don’t care what other people think, but I already have enough noise in my head, and I just don’t want anymore. I want to do something for myself, and I don’t need to hear anyone else’s opinions.” The color in her cheeks rises, and so does her voice the longer she talks. It’s clear this is something she’s thought about for a while and feels passionate about.
“Ava.” I reach for her arm, trying to calm her down. “As long as I can talk to you in public and we can have the occasional beer together like we are right now, I’m good with keeping it a secret.”
“Okay.” She collapses back into her seat, relaxing when she realizes I won’t fight her on this.
“Just to be clear”—I lean closer, lowering my voice so only she can hear me—“you are asking for sex, right?” The blush on her cheeks deepens, and I imagine it travels down her neck to her chest the same way it did two weeks ago when I had her in my bed. “You’re asking to use me for your pleasure?” I whisper in her ear.
Ava squirms, crossing and uncrossing her legs. She straightens in her seat, not backing down, and unafraid to go for what she wants. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m asking for.”
“Good.” I smirk. “Use me.”
“God, yes!” Ava shouts as she grinds her hips against me, using me to bring herself right to the edge, exactly like I told her to.
“I’m no god, Rebel.” I press my thumb against her clit, rubbing in small circles, watching her head roll back as she arches her body. “Come on, baby.”
Her head falls forward, looking down at me as her hands come to my pecs, nails digging in as she rolls her hips. “Don’t stop,” she breathes.
“Not a chance.”
I keep my hand between us, playing with her clit as she rocks against me, my cock buried deep inside her. I reach behind her, pressing her back so her chest is in front of my face, sucking her nipple into my mouth.
She moans, her rocking becoming more erratic. “Let go, Rebel.” I nip at her breast, thrust my hips once, and she falls over the edge, her walls clenching around me.
Without waiting for her to come down from her orgasm, I flip us, bringing her knees to her chest and driving my hips into her.
“Gage,” she moans, her hips rolling in time with mine.
“One more.” I move to my knees, watching where we’re connected, where my cock disappears inside her.
“I can’t.”
“You can and you will.” My eyes sear into hers. I release her knees, lifting her hips and angling them just right so on each thrust in, I hit her g-spot. Her walls tighten around me, her orgasm fast approaching. “That’s it, Rebel. Let it happen. Let your pussy soak my cock.” My hips move faster—harder, as I press my thumb against her sensitive nub, applying the lightest pressure before she detonates again.
“Gage!”
With her walls tightening around me, I thrust three more times before I follow right behind her. My thrusts slow as I draw out both her orgasm and mine.
I roll us so she’s tucked into my side as we both work to catch our breath.
“Why is that so good?” Ava asks as I fall back into bed after taking care of the condom and pulling her back into my side. Her voice is filled with disbelief. “I can’t remember it ever being that good.”
I don’t think I was supposed to hear that last part, but I can’t help the pride I feel move through my chest at the idea of being the best she’s had.
“Maybe I am a god.” I laugh when she swats at my chest.
“Shut up.” There’s no force behind her words, and it has me squeezing her closer to me.
“It’s never been this electric for me either.” I give her a truth I wasn’t planning to. But if she’s willing to be vulnerable with me, then it’s only fair I do the same for her.
She lifts her head off my chest and looks at me with wide eyes. “Yeah?” It’s cute the way she seems surprised by that.
“Probably why one night wasn’t enough for us.” My hand travels down her back, giving her ass a light squeeze. “If I’m being honest, I knew one night wouldn’t be enough before it even started.”
She rests her head back on my chest and is quiet long enough that I think that’s the end of the discussion.
“I knew it that night but didn’t believe it until you came into the bookstore,” she says, so quietly I almost miss it. “My life is such a mess.” She rolls onto her back, staring up at the ceiling.
I roll to my side, placing my head in my hand, my elbow digging into my pillow. “You keep saying that, but it doesn’t look like it from the outside.”
“That’s because the mess is all back in Massachusetts.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
She rolls to face me, mirroring my position. “I haven’t even told Declan about it.”
“Sometimes it’s harder to talk to the people you’re closest to.”
She’s quiet for so long that I don’t think she’ll say anything, but she also doesn’t move. Her eyes bouncing between mine, studying me, trying to decide something. I don't say anything, letting her see whatever she needs from me to feel comfortable in this moment.
I don’t know what happened—or is still happening—but I know what it’s like to feel like you’re losing control of everything. I wish I had allowed someone to support me through that instead of trying to figure it all out myself.
“My parents aren’t who I thought they were,” she says finally.
“You alluded to something like that after dinner with my dad.”
She takes a deep breath as if mentally preparing herself. Letting it out slowly, she starts, “I always knew our family was different than the typical family growing up, but I never would have said my parents didn’t love me and Declan.” She messes with a loose thread in the comforter beneath us.
Normally, I would be entirely focused on the fact that there’s a naked woman in my bed, unashamed of her nudity and completely exposed to the air around us. But all I can focus on is the pain in her eyes.
“Now I wonder why they even had kids because there is no way they love either of us. Definitely not the way a parent should love their child.”
“Ava,” I say softly, waiting for her eyes to meet mine. “Did they hurt you?”
She shakes her head instantly, then stops. “Not physically.”
“Rebel,” I practically beg. For what? I’m not entirely sure.
I don’t know what to say or do. I know what I want to do, but that would entail getting on a plane and flying to Boston, something I don’t think Ava would appreciate.
“No.” She shakes her head, rolling to her back again. “I don’t want to think about it anymore tonight.” She tilts her head to look at me. “Can we just have fun and not worry about anything else?”
I want to help her through this. I want to make all of it go away. I want to help her figure out the so-called “mess” of her life, but that feels more like a serious relationship than the casual fling we agreed to. And it scares me to think about how badly I want to do those things.
“Yeah.” I smirk, trying to cover up my racing thoughts. “We can definitely have some fun.”
I reach for her waist, pulling her to me and letting my lips trail across her skin, down her neck, and across her chest, following an imaginary trail toward the apex of her thighs.
I let the feel of her beneath my fingers, the warmth of her skin against my lips, and the sounds of her moans drown out all the other thoughts in my head. I focus entirely on playing the part she needs from me right now, giving her enough pleasure to block out the reality of a situation she's not ready to share while being thankful for the small pieces she was willing to give me tonight.