Chapter 19 #2
“I had an American friend in college who introduced me to her favorites, and I’ve come to love them. If you’re here long enough, you’ll hear some Beethoven and Andrea Bocelli, maybe even some boy bands,” she said making them both laugh. “Yeah, I guess you could say it's very eclectic.
“I'd actually love to hear about your travels.
I'm so jealous. I’ve dreamed of traveling the world from the time I was little, but I've only been to Mani in Greece. I wanted to see its old-world charm. Sometimes I think I was born an old soul.” Aria served Alex more pasta when he started to reach for the serving utensils.
“Oh, I’ve been there. I went to university in Athens.
Greece is such an amazing country. I have to admit, seeing the world has changed me in so many ways.
I learned so much about myself. It’s hard to describe.
Each country, city and village were idyllic, but it’s the people who have had the most effect on me.
So, how about you? If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go first?
” asked Alex as he poured them each more wine.
“South Africa,” Aria answered without hesitation.
“Really? I've been to several countries in Northern Africa, but I’ve actually never been there. Why South Africa, if you don't mind me asking?” he asked, tilting his head.
“I want to see an albatross. They regularly fly to the South African waters to feed,” Aria said with a faraway look.
“I’ve been fascinated with them since I was twelve.
I did an essay on them for school. The idea that they can ride on the wind for months at a time, passing through storms, then coming home to mate.
I don’t know, there’s just something magical about them,” she answered, her wine glass forgotten as it dangled from her fingers.
Alex looked at her, surprised. “An albatross? Wow. That’s, um, amazing.” He rubbed the back of his neck.
“I guess you weren’t expecting that, huh?” she asked in amusement, not quite able to interpret his response. “But it's not the only place I want to see. I have a long list of places around the world that fascinate me.”
“I’ve never seen an albatross, but I’m very familiar with them, actually,” Alex answered but didn’t explain.
Feeling more relaxed, she opened up a little more. “And my other dream is to write novels. I’ve been writing all my life, but I’ve never finished any of my stories, much less gotten them published. My friends say I need to start focusing on that instead of publishing everyone else’s books.”
Alex put down his fork and wiped his mouth with his napkin. His voice lowered, making her look at him again.
“I know how much you love reading, so if you want to be a writer, go for it! I, for one, would be the first in line to read your novels. As for seeing an albatross, plan your trip. Make it happen, Aria. If either of those dreams are important to you, don’t let anything keep you from making it happen. ”
Aria wasn’t sure how to respond as she moved her plate away from her.
“That means a lot. Thanks, Alex. And, how do you know that I love reading?”
His expression changed like he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
“You own a publishing house. Stands to reason that you love reading, right?”
Aria shrugged and asked if he wanted any more pasta or salad.
“Aria, that was delicious. But I have to stop myself at seconds.”
“I’m glad you liked it. And listen, thanks again for today. What you did for me was beyond what I could have asked. I realize this job was way beneath you. I might have looked you up,” Aria said, watching Alex's eyebrow arch.
“Oh, you did, did you?” he answered, amusement dancing across his face. “Well, remember. Don't believe everything you see online.”
Aria thought of the perfect models she’d seen him pictured with and hoped that's what he meant, but she didn’t dare bring it up.
When Aria stood and started gathering dishes, Alex did the same. He brought the serving bowls to the counter while she filled the sink with soapy water.
“Hey, you cooked, let me clean,” he said, his expression stern when she tried to shoo him away.
She relented and started putting the leftovers in glass containers, watching him through her lowered eyelashes. She thought she was being discreet but kept finding Alex sneaking glances at her over his shoulder.
When she handed him the serving bowls to clean, his hand grazed hers, making her think about the way they felt when he held her close in the cafe.
Was he thinking about the kiss? That was a real possibility when he forgot the faucet was still running and almost overflowed the sink.
“Sorry,” he said nervously, removing the plug and scooping the spilled water into the draining sink.
It was impossible to ignore the spark that freely flowed between them. A few minutes later, when the last item was cleaned, he wiped his hands on a kitchen towel and leaned against the counter.
She could see that he wanted to say something but couldn’t, echoing her feelings. Trying to break the tension in the room, she offered to make him an espresso.
“Yeah, that’d be great.”
Aria nervously bustled about the kitchen, keenly aware of his tracking her every move.
“How do you like living in Positano?” he asked, the timbre of his deep voice making her melt again.
“I, I love it. I miss my parents back in Rome, but this is home now. My brother Santo lives in Madrid now, so we’re all spread out.”
“I get that. I’m grateful that Sofia lives near my dad. Makes it a little easier when I’m working.”
Handing him the cup and saucer, she said, “Why don’t you take your espresso into the living room? I’ll be right there with some Amaretto cookies.”
Alex was standing at the built-in shelves when Aria walked in with a bright blue ceramic bowl filled with cookies. She watched as he perused her collection of brightly colored bottles of every shape and size.
There was no mistaking how his expression changed when he saw her wedding pictures. His countenance became serious as he leaned in to get a closer look.
Hearing her clear her throat gently, he swung around to look at her.
“Let’s sit down,” she said, trying to reign in how emotional she felt having Alex in her house, looking at her pictures of Nicholas.
She wasn’t sure why, but it was a bit disconcerting. The photos were everywhere in the room: wedding pictures, candid shots of their honeymoon. Years of captured memories surrounded them.
Alex obeyed, taking the cookies from her now-trembling hands and placing the bowl on the coffee table where he had left his cup.
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Do, do you want me to leave?” he asked, his voice deep and low.
“No,” she said softly, shaking her head.
“Okay. If that changes, know that you can tell me.”
Sniffling a few times, she said, “It’s the strangest thing. There are days that I love being in here, seeing these memories, feeling like he’s still here with me. And other days, I feel like tearing down every photo.”
Sitting next to him on the overstuffed sofa, she tucked her feet underneath her and sat back.
Nodding with understanding, he answered, “It was the same for me with my mom. No one prepares you for the whiplash of emotions you feel on any given day.”
“Exactly. It’s like being blindfolded on a never-ending roller coaster.”
“Aria, I know I said this the other night, but I am so sorry. I can't even imagine what you’ve been through. I lost touch with Nicholas after moving to Athens for college, and I wasn’t sure until you told me that you two actually did get married,” Alex said as he leaned in and wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb.
He kept his hand there, cupping her cheek and she felt herself lean into it involuntarily. It had been so long since she felt the strength of a man’s hand comforting her.
Taking in a stuttering breath, she looked up into his kind eyes, grateful to see no evidence of the pity she saw in so many others. When he moved his hand away, she felt the loss of his warmth and strength immediately.
“It’s been the most painful experience of my life losing him. I don’t think I mentioned it the other night, but I was in the car, too.”
“No, I didn’t know that. Are you, are you alright? I mean, were there lingering injuries?” he asked, his eyes moving over her body before meeting her gaze again.
Aria turned her arm over, and she saw when his eyes slid down to the exposed scar on her wrist. His hand immediately moved to hold her arm, his thumb swiping over the marred skin.
Her breath choked in her throat at the contact. The metaphor of him holding her scars was one that eased her pain unexpectedly.
“What happened?” he whispered.
His eyes stayed on her wrist.
“Manufacturer called it a catastrophic engine failure. Freak accident. No one’s fault. We went over an embankment. Everyone said I was very lucky to have survived.”
“Aria. I don’t know what to say.”
She pulled her arm back, straightening a nonexistent wrinkle in her dress. She took a deep breath in and let it out before continuing.
“We were married six years. We built this business together and dreamed of so many things we wanted to do, places we wanted to see. Dreams that will never happen,” she said softly, the last sentence trailing off to a whisper.
“Aria, you will see an albatross and visit those places you both dreamed of seeing. And you’ll write your novels all while bringing Nicholas with you, in your heart.”
“Thank you, Alex. What a sweet thing to say. Have you been able to do that with your mom?”
“I have. I talk to her in each new place, thanking her for believing in me. I bailed on my obligation to my dad’s business when I discovered photography, and I was lucky to get both of their blessings. She’s a part of me in everything that I do. She’s right there with me.”
Slowly, Aria put her hand in his, wanting desperately to return the comfort he had so freely given her. She saw his eyes flutter closed, assuming he was feeling the heaviness of their conversation.