Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“Bella?! What are you doing here?” Alex exclaimed, still holding on to Aria who was trying to step out of his arms.
His face was etched with a lethal mix of confusion and anger.
“Alex! I was hoping you were here, cara mia,” Bella said like honey was dripping from her lips.
She looked between Alex and Aria angrily.
“Who is this?” she asked, her eyes focused on Aria as she looked her up and down with disdain.
Aria's mind was going a million miles a minute.
Wait, did she just call Alex ‘my darling’?
Her face changing from embarrassment to confusion to anger in a matter of seconds, Aria pushed away completely.
“Wait, wait, please Aria! I can explain,” Alex said, grabbing for her hand again.
She crossed her arms over her chest and steadied her breath but didn’t move any further away. She wanted to give him that chance, but this woman was looking at him like a woman in love. Like a woman scorned.
“Alex, I, I don’t understand. Who is this?” Aria said, her body trembling from the warring emotions.
“I’m Bella. Alex and I have—” Bella tried to say, but Alex stopped her.
Turning his back on her and facing Aria, he took her hand and said, “Aria, give me a few minutes, please. Let me speak to her and see her out so you and I can talk.”
Bella reached for Alex from behind, running her hand seductively over his arm, causing him to jerk away.
“Alex, I flew from Paris just to see you. Your friend will understand.”
That was all Aria could take. She was about to burst into tears and wouldn’t let that happen in front of them.
“I need to go,” Aria said as she pulled her hand from his, grabbing her purse from the table and storming past the fashionably dressed woman with a sideways glance.
“Excuse me, please,” Aria said, crossing the metal gangplank Bella was standing on.
Emotions surged through her as she sprinted toward the parking lot, her chest aching from holding back the tears on the verge of spilling over.
She looked back once and saw when Alex shook his head at Bella as he brushed past her, giving chase. The gravel crunching loudly as her feet pounded across the lot, she heard his bellows.
“Aria, please! Please wait!”
She couldn't believe her luck. The taxi she assumed Bella had arrived in was still waiting in the marina parking lot, smoke coming from its exhaust as it sat parked but running.
Jumping in the backseat, she begged with a shaky voice, “Please, hurry. I need to get out of here.”
“But the lady told me to wait for her in case her boyfriend wasn't on the boat,” said the confused driver, who looked at her, apparently realizing she wasn’t his last fare.
How could I have been so stupid?
“Her boyfriend is there and she's staying. Please. Drive,” she barely croaked out as white-hot anger replaced the threatening tears.
Seeing her distress, he pulled away just as Alex got to the taxi.
Aria was afraid Alex would show up at her house, so she gave the driver Corinna's address instead, texting her to let her know she was on her way.
Her hands rung violently in her lap, her body vibrating with warring emotions. She rolled down the window a crack when she smelled the lingering scent of expensive perfume, no doubt left from Bella.
She watched through the window, the coastline disappearing as the city's lights came into view. Corinna lived in the neighboring town, but the drive was still less than an hour. More than enough time to receive countless phone calls from Alex, all of which she sent to voice mail.
She couldn’t believe that he would deceive her so badly. She didn’t want to believe it, but there was no way she was going to stand there on that boat a minute longer.
When she arrived, Corinna was waiting for her at the front door, a thick cardigan over her shoulders, her face frantic. Paying the taxi, Aria shuffled to her friend, her body exhausted from what had just happened, and fell into her arms.
“Come inside, love. Tell me what happened. Your text scared me.”
Once inside, Aria fell onto the sofa, her eyes unfocused, her breath heavy. Corinna grabbed a bottle of water and sat next to her, rubbing her back. She turned off the TV and threw the remote in a basket nearby.
“Was it Alex? You were going out tonight, right?”
Huffing, she opened the bottle and took a long draw of the water.
“Yes, we were on his family’s boat, yacht, whatever. It was perfect, Corinna. Seriously. Something out of a romance novel. Twinkling lights everywhere, soft music playing.”
Shaking her head, she continued, “I told him things, said things that I was feeling. Opened up to him. I had hope for the first time since losing Nicholas. The first time, and this is what happens!”
“What did he do?” she asked, concern coloring her face.
“I don’t even know how to answer that question. We were dancing and he was holding me so tight. And I was there, in it, I was so ready. Something changed tonight. Maybe it was just me, but there was a deeper connection. It felt so real. We both felt it.”
Aria’s bottom lip started to tremble. She felt like a vault was about to burst open inside her. Feelings she shared with no one started to tumble out.
“What is it, honey? You’re scaring me,” Corinna asked, her eyes frantic.
“I, I felt alive. Alive for the first time since Nicholas—” Aria sobbed, her chest heaving with the force it took for the words to come out.
Concern written across her face, Corinna answered in a quiet tone, “You are alive, Aria. And all of us who love you are so grateful for that.”
She reached for her and held her tight.
“I’m, I’m alive, but Nicholas is not. How do I live with that, Corinna? And how do I deal with this resentment I felt toward him because I didn’t pursue writing?” Aria asked, as she clung to her friend.
“Darling girl, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Yes, with God’s mercy, we didn’t lose both of you that day.
If he could, Nicholas would have given his life to be sure that you survived that car wreck.
And you did. You’re alive, Aria. It means you’re still here for a reason, for a purpose.
You’re allowed to live and love and dream and find joy.
“You’re also allowed to feel resentment.
You’re allowed to feel all of those things.
It’s natural for those emotions to surface after tragedy.
I’m just surprised it’s taken you this long to say it out loud to me.
I know it’s painful, but I’m glad, honey, I’m glad you’re finally letting it surface so it can heal. ”
Aria’s sobs stilled after many minutes while Corinna whispered affirmations in her ears. When she felt she could speak again, Aria pulled back, wiping her face with her sleeve.
“I thought there were no more tears left. I’m so tired of crying.”
“Tears are a way to cleanse the soul, love. You needed that tonight. I understand more now what you’ve been feeling.”
Nodding, Aria replied, “I don’t even think I knew those feelings existed. Is it crazy to think that meeting Alex has brought them to the surface?”
“I don’t think that’s crazy at all. Feeling again, wanting things you’ve closed your heart off to. Yeah, it makes sense that those hidden fears would surface.”
“I don’t know how he made me feel this way so quickly. I fought it, questioned it. Not sure how to stop it. But yeah, tonight something unexpected happened. At least for me, anyway.”
“So, finish telling me. I’m still a bit lost here. What did he do?”
“We were, we were in this intense moment. It was like we connected, it was magnetic, powerful. It was overwhelming but thrilling. He bent down to kiss me. Our first real kiss, Corinna.”
Aria rubbed her palms over her jeans, her hands visibly shaking.
“Did, did he touch you, do something you weren’t comfortable with? I’ll kill him.”
“No, no, nothing like that,” Aria said, shaking her head. “Right before he kissed me, we heard this loud noise. When we turned, this, this gorgeous model-looking woman stood there and called him ‘cara mia’!”
“What?” Corinna said, her face pinched, her voice flat.
Aria stood up and scoffed. “Yeah, she starts touching him on his arm, like he belongs to her, while he’s trying to tell me not to go.
And I stood there like an idiot and listened to him until it was clear she wasn’t leaving.
All I saw was red, so I took off running.
When I got to the parking lot, a taxi was there. ”
She turned to face Corinna, her voice shaking. “I yelled at the driver to go, and he said the woman told him to wait and see if her boyfriend was on the boat.”
“No!”
Nodding vigorously, Aria continued, her voice growing louder. “Yeah. Apparently he has a girlfriend named Bella and I’m an idiot. A complete idiot for believing his stupid flowery words, stupid dancing, stupid romantic scenes. Ugh!”
“I hate her and her name.”
“I can’t believe I let this happen.”
“It’s so opposite of everything you’ve told me about him. Not to mention what I saw for myself at the gallery. And why would he tell you to stay if she was his girlfriend? Something’s not right.”
Aria dropped her hands to her side, her body feeling the effects of the adrenaline run-off.
“I know. I believed him, Corinna. I believed his heart. And it felt real. There’s a part of me that wanted to stay and hear him out, but I just couldn’t.”
“I’m so sorry, love. I hate that you put yourself out there and were hurt. It’s taking everything in me not to find him and strangle him. But what if there is an explanation?”
Shaking her head, Aria responded, “Maybe so, but it doesn’t change the fact that there’s a woman on the boat with him right now that obviously means something to him.”
“Again, not to sound like I’m siding with him, but you’ve always taught me to be fair. Maybe she’s an ex. Why would he invite you on the boat if he knew she was coming?”
“I get that. And I know I’ll have to give him a chance to explain, but tonight has broken that illusion I let myself believe in.
I have to stop living in this fantasy world.
Life isn’t romantic movies and novels. That’s all a fairytale, not true life, not real life,” Aria answered, sitting back down beside her friend.
She grabbed the throw pillow next to her and held it to her chest, her eyes focused on the floor.
Corinna threw off her cardigan and hugged Aria from the side, her voice lowering.
“You and Nicholas had the fairytale. Don’t let this one night make you doubt the possibility of finding that again.”
“My fairytale ended in tragedy. I didn’t get my happily ever after,” she whispered. She took a deep breath in and leaned back, her head pushing into the sofa. “Before Alex came along, I had my family, you, my business. I don’t need a man. I don’t need some make-believe Mr. Darcy.”
“No, you don’t have to have a man to be happy or fulfilled.
But you, my beautiful girl,” she said as she pushed Aria’s hair from her face, “you have a heart that longs for that, for the fairytale. And I still believe it will happen again for you. Maybe not with this guy but with someone, somewhere. Don’t give up. ”
Aria was quiet for several minutes as her mind played out the scene at the boat.
“You should have seen her. Tall, blonde, legs to die for. Designer clothes, impeccable makeup. Look at me, Corinna! I thought I was going on a big fishing boat. I'm in a plaid shirt for goodness’ sake. And the way she looked at me, like I was beneath her,” Aria yelled, pointing to her simple outfit.
Corinna moved to the floor in front of Aria, kneeling down and taking her hands.
“You don’t need designer clothes and perfect makeup. Don’t compare yourself to that woman.”
Rubbing her eyes, Aria said, “I know who I am but standing there while she touched him,” she said, shaking her head.
“It doesn’t matter. Even if there is an explanation, he’s still an albatross, just like his friends call him.
He travels for months and months at a time.
I got caught up in the romance, but our lives are so different. My whole life is here. In Positano.”
“Wait, an albatross? You mean that huge bird you had a picture of back in school?”
“Yeah, it’s his nickname and even the name of his boat.”
“Oh wow, that’s weirdly coincidental.”
“Yeah, I know. Tonight was meant to happen before either of us got too close.”
“And how close were you?” Corinna teased, making Aria laugh, surprising them both.
She always knew how to bring her out of her sadness, even if it was just for a moment.
“You’re incorrigible.”
“But you love me.”
Taking a deep breath, Aria answered, “Yes, I do.”
Corinna pushed up on her knees and hugged her tightly.
“You’re going to be fine, my girl. I’ll make sure of it.”
Nodding, Aria kissed her friend on her cheek when she pulled back.
“Got some pj’s I can borrow? I don’t want to go home tonight.”
“Wasn’t gonna let you,” Corinna answered, standing and leading Aria into the guest room.
After her shower, Aria texted Natalia and Luna letting them know she wasn't feeling well and wouldn’t be in the next day.
Settling into bed, Aria tried to sleep. Pulling the covers over her head, she tried to forget how badly her heart felt, eventually falling asleep.
Aria was awakened by the sounds of her own panicked breathing, her heart rate erratic. Panting and gasping for air, her throat and her mouth were dry as sand.
Oh God, not again.
Was she dreaming or was this real? She forced air in her lungs and tried to scream out for help, but nothing would come.
Pinching her eyes closed, she didn’t want to see what she knew was waiting for her. Twisted metal, her ears ringing, the sound of her screaming for Nicholas.
Suddenly Corinna was beside her, holding her, waking her from the nightmare that plagued her for so long.
“Wake up, Aria. Come on, I’m here, I’m here.”
Forcing her mind to push back into reality, Aria opened her eyes. Clinging to her friend, she let her wipe the sweat from her face and gently rock her as she saw the dawning day outside the window.
The night was over. Day was coming. With that thought, she exhaled and calmed.
“I’m so sorry, love. I’m so sorry you have to bear this. I wish I could take this from you.”
Finding her voice, Aria said, her voice hoarse, “You have helped shoulder this burden from the beginning. You can’t do any more than you’ve already done, and I love you for it.”
Corinna kissed her on the head and rubbed her arm. “You’re alive, Aria.”
Taking a deep breath in, Aria nodded. “It’s time to live again.”