Chapter Journei
Journei
Icould picture my life without my wife, but the attachment I had to Christian wouldn’t let me breathe without him. We created somethin’ that had me tied to him for an eternity, and I refused to watch it grow alone.
I was landing as many punches as I could to Kégo’s body. I didn’t care where they landed. I just wanted him to let me go. The man that I loved was in the middle of a fire, and I couldn’t do anything about it.
“Kégo, please let me go! I need to save him!” I screamed. I was panicking and needed Christian to be OK.
“Sis, you can’t go in there. I’ll get him. Just stay here with Papa please. He’ll kill me if I let somethin’ happen to you.” Kégo gave up pleading eyes.
I stopped fighting him so he could help my baby. I didn’t give two flying fucks about my father dying. Our past caused my feelings to be null and void regarding him.
Christian warned me that he was gettin’ released and would be coming to try his hand at a relationship with me. I couldn’t give him that part of me again. I was still experiencing pain from my childhood, so why would I let him tarnish what I tried to build as an adult?
Kégo ran into the sanctuary while I stood at the door.
The smoke was starting to fill up the hallway as I watched for some type of movement.
I stood there with tears flowing. Diego was to the side praying for both Kégo and Christian as Mrs. Gills was on the phone with the police, givin’ as much detail as she could.
A lifetime was what it seemed like before I saw Kégo assist Christian out the door. The way his light skin was now red alarmed me. I immediately ran into his arms, which he winced from. If a simple hug caused him pain, then somethin’ was wrong.
“Don’t leave him in there,” Christian barely spoke above a whisper about my father.
“Nah, bruh. You’re my responsibility, not him. He ’bout to be an innocent bystander,” Kégo responded.
Without another word, Christian removed my arms and headed back into the fire. I screamed for him, but he ignored every word that came out my mouth. Why would he want to save someone who hurt me? Jourdell Evans deserved to die. I agreed with the statement Kégo made.
The smoke had become thick and made it hard to breathe standing in the doorway. Mrs. Gills grabbed my hand to escort me out the building, but I wasn’t leaving without the father of my child.
Snatching my hand away, I ran back to the door, yelling for Christian once again. Smoke had entered my lungs, and the coughing had started. My eyes had become hard to keep open as well.
“Journei, please. I can’t stay in here much longer, and neither can you. Think about your child.” Mrs. Gills was tryin’ to get me to budge, but I just couldn’t leave Christian.
As I slowly backed away from the door, Christian came through dragging my father with him. Jourdell was unconscious with melted clothes, and my baby was looking like a hot tamale. I could say seeing Christian like that scared me more than Jourdell’s appearance.
The concern was so heavy it outweighed the smoke surrounding us. Christian let Jourdell go and stumbled his way into my arms. His breathing was far from normal, and he felt like a walking heater.
Sirens were heard, and I was glad of it. The way Christian fell into my arms took all the energy I had left. My knees buckled, and to the floor we went.
“Christian, the baby. You gotta get off me. Babe, you’re heavy.” I was askin’ Christian to get up, but he wouldn’t move.
I could hear Kégo but couldn’t see him clearly. My vision had blurred. “Man, what the fuck is goin’ on right now? Bruh, get off her so I can get y’all out of here. Her pops is already outside.” Christian still wouldn’t move.
When I looked in his face, he was the same as my father… unconscious. I was already panicking, but now it went up a few notches. “Kégo, he’s not awake. What’s wrong with him?”
All I could do was shake his body to try and wake him up. My eyes were irritated, almost burning from the smoke and too heavy to stay open any longer. I was givin’ more energy than my body could produce. The last thing that registered before I called lights out was Christian bein’ moved off me.
Beep! Beep! Beep! The sound of a monitor woke me up from a slumber.
Breathing was no longer a struggle, and neither was seeing. My vision focused, and I found myself laying in a hospital bed with cords coming from my arm and my nose. I tried to sit up, and I had monitors on my stomach as well. That was when everything came rushing back.
Anything that was attached to me had to come off. I ripped cords that alerted the nurses. They came runnin’ in, tryin’ to get me to calm down. I wasn’t tryin’ to hear shit they were talkin’ ’bout. I needed to lay eyes on Christian Emanuel Gills as soon as possible.
“Ms. Evans, we need you to stay in bed. We must observe you and make sure nothing from the fire affected you or the baby. Please cooperate with us.” A nurse who was just doin’ her job and tryin’ to help was about to feel my wrath.
“Bitch, get the fuck out my face before I fuck you up!” I yelled. I wasn’t cooperating with shit.
“Chill, sis. What you tryna do?” Kégo walked in, and man was I glad to see him. My emotional ass needed to see a familiar face to assure me that I was okay.
“I want to get out of here.” The nurse went to touch me, and I hit her in her chest. “Bitch, I said get the fuck out my face.”
“Man, chill the fuck out, Journei. Why the fuck you in here cuttin’ up like that?” Kégo asked.
I ignored him and kept taking steps toward the door, dragging the IV pole. That poor nurse was about to get hit again, and she didn’t even know it. That time, she hesitated on touchin’ me, but her fingers still managed to connect with my skin.
I turned around and smacked the fire out her white ass. Her face was beet red. I was tryin’ to get around the other nurse when Kégo ran out the room. I needed him, and he just left me.
“Miss ma’am, you gon’ let me out this fuckin’ room, or I’m gon’ beat yo’ ass ’til you do. Now you fuckin’ choose,” I threatened.
The one I hit spoke up. “Ms. Evans, all we’re trying to do is make sure you’re okay.
You’re carrying a child that may or may not have been harmed by the smoke you inhaled.
You were unconscious when you were brought in earlier.
Whoever you’re trying to see or wherever you’re trying to go can wait for just a moment.
I understand. Trust me, I do, but this child didn’t ask to be created.
It’s time to go into mommy mode, Ms. Evans, and you’ve put your hands on me twice, but let’s get some shit clear.
” Her whole demeanor went from professional to hood.
“I will take this badge off and whoop yo’ ass next time you think you gon’ abuse the fact that I’m at work.
I will get fired and be down at the unemployment office by five.
I’m not one of these nurses that’s gon’ tolerate disrespect. So wassup?” she said in a relaxed tone.
I stopped tryin’ to fight her off and calmed down a little. Every word she spoke was indeed true. I had to get my emotions under control and think about my unborn.
I walked back over to the bed and sat with my head down. I wasn’t ashamed of my actions, because I still wanted to find Christian, but I knew puttin’ my hands on her was wrong.
“I’m sorry. I just want to know where my man is and if he’s okay.” Tears were flowing, and I felt like them holding me up in this room was their way of tryin’ to keep me from knowin’ the real.
“Ms. Evans, I can find out whatever information you need me to, but there’s still the line of respect. I don’t mind helping. Just treat me how I treat you.” I nodded to agree. “Cool. What’s his name? I can run out to the nurses’ station and see what’s goin’ on with him.”
“Christian Gills.” She gave my hand a light squeeze and proceeded to find out what she could while the other nurse hooked me back up to the machines.
I sat there and let every bad scenario enter my head. I didn’t know why I was waiting for bad news, but I wasn’t expecting good news either. Fear had taken over, which had unsettled me altogether.
Within a few days, my life literally went from chaos to me smiling every ten minutes back to this pool of tears that couldn’t stop. I just wanted a break from all the bullshit. I was drowning and gettin’ to the point where I didn’t want to be saved.