Chapter Journei
Journei
Love couldn’t love me, because there I was without so much as a “fuck you” from the nigga I truly loved. I was on day two of not hearing anything from Christian. It hurt me to know that he could go days without checking on me or his son.
We were supposed to be his world, but his treatment didn’t show we were. My calls as well as texts and voicemails had gone unanswered. I was frustrated and worried all in one.
My mind tended to go negative a lot. I cried in his arms, letting him know how broken I would be if I lost him, and in the next few hours, I was left alone. He made me feel as if I wasted my breath.
It was nine o’clock at night, and the only attention I received that day was that of my aggravating wife. Alexis had been blowin’ my phone up since yesterday evening.
I had nothin’ to say to her. I blocked her last number all for her to get a new one and bang my line once again. The bitch came back with energy as if she never left. The neglect Christian gave me wasn’t enough for me to fold though.
My stomach growled loudly, telling me to feed my child. Somehow, I managed to go all day and not feed him. His father had my attention when he didn’t deserve it.
I slowly stood from the couch and walked into the kitchen. Mrs. Gills prepared stuffed salmon with alfredo noodles and a kale salad. The smell was ignored until that very moment. I was starving myself and my son.
Quickly plating the food, I was eager to dive into it. A blunt to the face would have set the meal off right, but thanks to my baby daddy, I couldn’t indulge in shit. That was my first and last pregnancy.
I sat at the island that was in the middle of the kitchen. When alone, my past ran through my mind nonstop. I missed my mother and her infectious smile. It would’ve made a big difference in my life.
With her love, maybe I wouldn’t have turned to the first person who showed me ongoin’ attention and affection. I based my love for Alexis off her consistency, which was the wrong thing to fuckin’ do.
Even after leaving her, she was persistent with gettin’ me next to her again. Like the text she had just sent.
(423) 871-5690: You’re still my wife until I sign these divorce papers. Give me one last conversation and you can leave with the papers signed.
Her text oddly made me want to give her that conversation she was asking for. Walking away with those papers meant more to me than that meet up she was tryin’ to have.
Me: Time and place.
(423) 871-5690: Our home, and I’ll text you before I leave the new warehouse. You know the distance, so that should give you a time frame.
Pullin’ up on Alexis was a bad idea. I knew it was, but Christian had gone MIA, and I was vulnerable.
That girl had been doin’ me wrong since the beginning. She hadn’t apologized for adding bullshit to the pile of unhealthy shit I was already dealing with either.
A part of me was genuinely interested in what she wanted to say. I wasn’t goin’ back to her as her wife ever, but curiosity was beatin’ my ass. Maybe she would own up to her bullshit.
With my phone in tow, I called Christian once more, and again, I got no answer. I cried once the automated voicemail took over. He made me feel as if expressing my love for him was too much for him to handle.
Mrs. Gills strolled in the kitchen unbothered by her grandson’s disappearance. In a way, I felt like she knew he was goin’ to leave me. Like she knew where he was as well as what he was doin’.
“Sweetheart why are you sittin’ in here cryin’?” she asked.
“I’m not havin’ this conversation with you,” I sassed.
“As long as you’re in my house, anything I ask you will be answered. You’re in your feeling’s ova my grandson, but I still expect respect. Now, why are you sittin’ here cryin’?”
Her comment of me being in her house came through louder than I wanted it to. Truth was, I was trapped there.
Calling for an Uber or Lyft was out the picture due to how far she stayed in the country. No one wanted to drive that far out. Taking one of her cars crossed my mind a time or two but sitting in a cell for grand theft auto seemed like the only move.
“The father of my child left, my calls are ignored, and I can’t leave even if I tried,” I said in the quickest but simplest terms.
“He cares about his family, Journei. Why can’t you trust that he’s doin’ what needs to be done to keep his family safe?”
“Because anything can fuckin’ happen. He could’ve kept us safe by bein’ by our side.
He didn’t need to run off and leave me here distraught the way I am.
I’m forgettin’ to feed his son because my mind is on him.
I haven’t slept since I woke up yesterday, but somehow, you’re well fuckin’ rested.
I don’t understand y’all!” I shouted my response.
More tears fell after I voiced what I was feeling. I had no clue as to what that man was doin’. As many lives he took, hell, someone’s family could come back for revenge.
Mrs. Gills walked to her fridge and grabbed a bottle of wine, then came to sit with me at the island. She reached for one of the glasses sitting in the middle to pour herself a glass.
“Years I prayed for that boy to find him someone, settle down, create a family, and enjoy life as a husband and father. He found you and is creating that family,” she said and placed her hand on my stomach.
“You’re someone else’s wife… for now, but I promise Gills will be attached to your name before you know it.
Men do things women will never understand, but they protect and provide in ways we can’t. Trust in your man, baby.”
We sat in silence at that island—me in my head, and Mrs. Gills just there for comfort. I fed my son as thoughts of his father ran a mile a minute.
He was the one I would go to hell and back for, the one I would lay down my life for if it saved his. Christian was the love I had been waiting so long for. He was my greatest mistake, and for that, I wasn’t sorry.
I finally made my way back upstairs to the bedroom I got left in. It was a lil’ after eleven, so I decided to get a bath until Alexis sent a text. I was hoping for the jacuzzi jets to relax me.
Pouring in lavender serum as the tub filled, I undressed and examined my body. Life had taken me through enough misery.
The scars that were hidden under my tattoos reminded me of it. Pain had hit me in many forms throughout my twenty-six years.
My father was a topic I didn’t give energy to, but he was tryin’ his hardest to talk to me. Him goin’ through Christian, or should I say Pastor Gills, blew the fuck out of me.
Jourdell knew my answer was a hard no regarding anything with his abusive ass. I didn’t want to fix shit. He was written off as someone I wouldn’t piss on to put a fire out for. If I knew one thing, I knew my space would never be shared with him again.
I stepped inside the tub immediately loving the feeling of the warm water against my skin. I sat and let the sounds of the jets relax me. My thoughts needed to calm down.
Too many people and things were causing ruckus in my head. I laid my head back and let the lavender scent from the water take over. A quick nap before an unexpected visit wouldn’t hurt.
I was awakened by my phone sounding off with an alert. The water had gone cold, and my skin was wrinkled. Pulling the plug, the water drained, and I stepped out of the tub.
The alert was a text from Alexis saying she was leaving the warehouse. I glanced at the time right above it and saw it was a lil’ after midnight. I had time to get a quick shower before leaving to meet the devil.
I handled my business in the bathroom at a fast pace. Christian wasn’t there, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t show up at any given time. I rummaged through my suitcase and came across a Nike set my baby daddy bought me.
The set was simple but cute—biker shorts with a T-shirt to match. Not much to flash, but I was comfortable in it. I put my bushy hair up in a messy ponytail, then slipped on my Nike slides.
I picked up my phone and decided to send the love of my life a polite “fuck you” text before departing.
Me: Twice. That’s how many times you’ve left me, and how many times I’ve woken up to an empty bed. It’s clear that your actions don’t match a damn thing that comes out yo’ mouth. I love you, but I won’t be here when you get back. As you once said, distance could do us both some good.
I threw the phone on the bed and grabbed my suitcase. Mrs. Gills kept long hours, but I was the queen of sneaking.
Opening the bedroom door, I listened for movement. The house was quiet with ticking sounds echoing throughout the house.
I crept downstairs, where every light was off, leaving me to feel my way around. When I opened that garage door, the alarm was goin’ off without a doubt. I took in a deep breath, tightened my grip on my suitcase, and made a run for it.
The alarm blasted through the house along with snitching on what door was opened. The keys to each automobile were hanging along the wall behind it.
I had no time to be picky. I grabbed the closest one and hopped in, throwing my bags to the passenger’s side. I couldn’t get the car started good before I saw lights being turned on inside the house.
Hittin’ the button for the garage door to be let up, my heart was beating out of my chest. That was my only chance, and I needed it to work. Mrs. Gills was running toward me when I threw the car in drive and sped off.
I couldn’t allow her sweet words to distract what needed to be done on my end. I wasn’t her grandson’s priority or her responsibility. I couldn’t stay there, period.
I didn’t ease up off the gas until I was at least a few miles away. My heart was still beating at a rapid pace, and my thoughts followed suit. I needed a second, so I pulled over.
My wife made her text seem simple, but that meetup would be anything but. I knew Alexis, and when she was mad, there was no tellin’ what side of her I got. I experienced the verbal abuse, but I’d seen others endure the physical.
“Get it together, Journei. It’s almost over,” I spoke out loud.
I shook off the jitters I developed and got back on the road. It was then or never. I was tired. Tired of being played with by people I devoted my love to. Those papers would end things between us officially.
Gettin’ back to Sunset Cove took no longer than thirty minutes. It was weird to be back in the place that was once my sanctum. Memories immediately flooded my head. The pain was fresh again.
I pulled into the driveway to see Alexis hadn’t made it there yet. I parked and made my way to the door. Keys weren’t necessary for the door if my fingerprint matched.
My thumb was placed against the scanner, and I was granted access. A smile appeared, and I had to catch myself. That house was no longer my home, regardless of her not changing the codes.
I was greeted by a path of rose petals and candles that trailed from the front door to the kitchen. I didn’t bother to close the door, because that wasn’t the type of time I had to give.
Slow jams were being played, and a sweet smell was flowing throughout the house. One conversation my ass.
Following the roses, I didn’t know what to expect at the end of that damn trail. Alexis was one who could romance me right out of my drawers. Her tongue was that damn good. My pussy jumped from a quick memory.
I stopped at the kitchen doorway to take a deep breath. What she asked, I would’ve given. She truly had me and managed to unravel me from that finger I was so comfortably wrapped around.
Turning the corner, I instantly became enraged. It wasn’t the bitch I wanted to see at the moment, but she was a bitch I planned on running across eventually. I flicked the light on and eyed her.
Galleria was laying across the table I bought in a black lingerie set. The set was cute and looked damn good on her too; however, that threat was about to have her gutted.
“I’ve been waiting on you, mamí.”
“Nah. You were waitin’ on my wife, not me. Wrong bitch,” I said, startling her.
She sat up, letting my face register before her scowl matched mine. A smirk settled on my face, and the smoke she had for me was coming through her ears. Hopping down off the table, she fixed her mouth to reply, but I cut her off.
“Look at you ready to buss it open for my wife when she on her way home to me. How second place feel? I never had the pleasure of coming in such.”
“You’re beneath me, bitch.”
My steps toward Galleria were slow but calculated. “That’s all you got for me? Well, let me show you what a bitch from the bottom can do.”
I was close enough to throw a punch and it connect. She threatened my son, which was the wrong thing to do. I never thought I would be a mother, but now that I was, she was goin’ to have to mind her tongue talkin’ bout mine.
Feelin’ her face under my fist gave me the motivation I needed. I doubled up and delivered two body shots that made her bend over in pain.
Grippin’ her hair, I dragged her to the middle of the floor, tagging whatever part of her face I could. I was on her ass granting her an ass whooping from hell. The tables turned when the bitch hit me in the stomach.
She knew that was the move to give her some breathing room. It let her go and kicked her into the fridge. I took advantage of the space to try and assess if she did any damage externally.
My eyes were off her for a second, but that was enough time for her to grab a knife and stab me in the shoulder. Her aim sucked ’cause I was sure that was meant for my neck. I was in pain, nonetheless.
“Ahhhh,” I cried out.
The bitch was quick with her attacks. She took the knife out and went for another jab. I put my hand up to block the attack, and the knife went right through it.
I started somethin’ I didn’t think I was goin’ to be able to finish. My wounds were deep with large amounts of blood spilling out of both. I was officially in a life-or-death situation.
“What you say? That’s what the fuck I thought, bitch. Talk yo’ shit now!” she yelled.
Galleria was smaller than me but faster. She grabbed the frying pan out the sink and swung it across my face. The hit was powerful enough to bring me to the floor. I landed on my side. I was gettin’ my ass beat.
That kick she delivered to my face right after brought a mouth full of blood. I needed help ’cause she was cashing in on the check her mouth wrote days ago.
I was shoved onto my back and then hit in the face once more. I didn’t have the energy to fight back. I could hardly breathe, and I felt like I was about to choke off my own blood.
She stood over my stomach with a smile the devil wore himself and a gun. I said coming there was a bad idea. I should’ve listened to my instincts.