Journei
Iwoke up that next morning to tons of text from Jourdell tryin’ to apologize again for not showing up to my grand opening. It didn’t bother me that he didn’t show, but he was given an invitation through Christian, which he RSVP’d. I expected to see him before the night ended.
Honestly, if he would’ve showed, then I would’ve eased up just a tad bit. Maybe accepted his efforts and put forth some of my own. He fucked that up though. That apology went in one ear and out the other.
That was over two months ago. I was now big as a house, gettin’ prepared for the new addition to our house. Exhausted wasn’t a good enough word.
Christian stood by what he said and had someone come change the baby’s room around. The room went from blue and green to yellow and pink. Since the nursery was joint to the master bedroom, we decided that would be easier to deal with.
Everything in my life was starting to come full circle. Christian was coaching me on how to accept the good. I turned away so much or in church terms “blocked my own blessings”, whatever that meant.
The prayer I said that morning in the hospital kind of brought me back to believing in God. I would say a silent prayer every morning and night in the shower, asking for guidance and help.
I had no clue if my prayer was being heard, but it felt good to say it. Christian was upfront with his faith while I was tiptoeing myself back into that lane.
Christian was down at the construction site for the new church hall. He added to the insurance money and expanded the facility. The blueprints to that thang were ones to see. Didn’t understand why they needed two levels though.
My phone was ringing off the hook, and all I was tryin’ to do was soak my swollen feet. I stomped across the room to it. I had ignored it twice already. It didn’t sound off with Christian’s special tone, so I knew it wasn’t him.
“Man, what… fuck! Bangin’ my fuckin’ line like I’m yo’ bitch. The fuck you want, Jourdell?”
He had got on my fuckin’ nerves. Every day I had over ten missed calls from him since I cut all ties again. I was over it and planned on blocking him after I hung up.
“Journei, please give me another chance. I’m really tryin’ here, baby girl. I’m goin’ to my meetings. I’m attending church twice a week. I’m on the right path. I just need you to work with me.”
Mentioning his meetings softened me up a bit. To know that he was staying away from alcohol made me give him one last shot.
I sucked my teeth and said, “Fine. Pick a day this week and make plans. Me and Christian won’t assist with a damn thing. If you can’t pull shit together last minute, then you don’t need to hit my line ever again. Ball in yo’ court.”
Hanging up, I instantly felt a wave of regret pass through me. Kind of like the feeling I had goin’ back to Sunset Cove. However, I shook it off and continued with my relaxation.
As soon as I sat down, my phone rang again. I almost threw it just from the sound of it irritating me. Looking at the caller ID, I saw that it was my assistant manager, India.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Hey, girl. I was calling ’cause the couple that booked for this weekend didn’t send over the direct deposit and won’t answer. What you want me to do since they’re the first to not pay?” she asked.
“What are their names?”
“I have them down as the Sinclairs.”
I burst out laughing. Now best friend knew better to give my staff a hard time. I barely got out my next sentence. “It’s okay, India. They don’t need one. I told them it was on the house. Please make sure they have everything they requested.”
“Got you, boss.”
The call was disconnected, and I was still in tears. Hunz and Belle were coming up on six years of marriage, and I wanted to throw them an anniversary party. I was excited to see their public affection.
They were the couple to be until Christian and I hit the scene. Nothin’ against their union, but it was just my baby daddy, and I had some good love goin’ on over here too.
Puttin’ my phone on silent, I placed it on the side table and laid my head back. That warm water felt so good surrounding my feet. I regretted not adding lavender to it.
“You might want to close your mouth before I put somethin’ in it.”
I jumped up when Christian whispered in my ear. I fell asleep alone and woke up to his creepy ass next to me. I stood with my chest heaving and my heart tryin’ to break free. I couldn’t stand his light ass.
Once again, my attacks amused him. He sat roaring with laughter. It wasn’t shit funny about me almost dying of a heart attack.
“The fuck you always playin’ for?”
“Mama, yo’ mouth was wide open with slob gettin’ ready to trickle out that left corner. I could’ve just did it without warning you.”
His comment made my pussy jump. I had to look away and focus on somethin’ else ’cause tasting him didn’t sound too bad.
I threw a pillow at him when he caught on to what was happenin’ and continued to laugh. He was makin’ his way to the list of aggravation right along with Jourdell fuckin’ Evans.
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My sperm donor called us over for dinner and movies two days later, so there we were, looking at him looking at us. I was aggravated and ready to go. I could sense that somethin’ was off but couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
He was jittery, and his body was sweating a lot. Christian told me not to sweat it, but he was in the same state when he gave me that bullshit apology on why he couldn’t make it.
“Journei, how’d you like the food? It was Yonei’s recipe. I tried to remember as much as I could. It’s not as good as hers, but it’ll pass.” He was rambling, and I didn’t feel comfortable staying.
“It’s good, Jourdell. Where’s your bathroom?” I needed to regroup. Maybe I was tripping.
“Down the hall. First door on your left.”
I got up and made my way to it. Somethin’ was wrong. I didn’t want to assume that he was drunk, and I didn’t want to question him about it. I saw the AA chips by the door. The latest one was a six-month chip.
Them white people said he was sober and clean, so I took a chance to believe him. I finished up and tried shaking off the weird feeling. If he was lying, it was bound to show.
I rejoined both him and Christian at the table. “I see your burns are healing well. It’s good to see you’ll barely have any scarring.”
“Yeah. I still get pain from it, but overall, it’s pretty much healed.”
“That’s good. What movies did you have set up for us?” I questioned.
“I thought we could watch a movie called Black Box. It’s on the station.”
Him calling Prime that station genuinely tickled me. I blessed his ears with a hearty laugh and his eyes with my contagious smile. He joined in on it.
“That was funny. Well, c’mon, old man. I can grant you one movie, and then we’re goin’ to head home.”
“Give me a second, mama. Jake needs my signature for these checks. He’s right up the street. If I get them signed now, he can get them deposited before the banks close. I won’t be gone no more than five to ten minutes.” Christian was leaving me with Jourdell.
He pointed at my father to warn him. That was all cool and dandy, but the second he walked out the door, I felt like my life was in danger.
“Have a seat, baby girl. While that get started, I’m gon’ handle these bubble guts.”
Jourdell put the movie on, then went to the back. I didn’t want to stay there. Leave was on repeat in my head.
I sat there for over fifteen minutes, and neither of them had returned. I grabbed my purse, then stood to leave when I heard a gun cock.
Regret was front and fuckin’ center once again. That weird feeling was an instinct to get the fuck on. I ignored it, and now I was in the same position as before. Tears fell at a rapid pace.
“Yonei, you cheating on me?”
Yonei? My mother was dead, but he stood in front of me questioning me as if I were her. Whatever drugs he was on had him hallucinating. I saw that his pupils were dilated as well.
“Jourdell, I’m your daughter. My mother is dead. You killed her, remember?”
“Do I look like I’m in the mood for games, bitch? Oh, since you found out about Erica, you think you goin’ to have another nigga’s baby? I guess me beating yo’ ass ain’t taught you nothin’, huh?”
Terrified. That monster that I knew he was had shown his head. I was sick of being everyone’s target. First Galleria, and now him. When were people goin’ to realize I didn’t care to be alive in the first place?
“Pussy hoe, you pulled it, so you better use it!” I was cryin’, but I grew balls in the process.
He charged at me with an unstable balance. I was able to move out the way in time, leaving him to crash into the glass coffee table. I ran for the door when Christian came bursting through.
I wanted to be mad, but in that moment, I was more than happy to see his face.