Chapter 15
As She’s Walking Away
Duke
I knew bringing Caroline fishing was a good idea. This was way better than I imagined. Seeing the excitement on her face when she hooked a fish, only for her to find this tiny trout in the net is absolutely hilarious, and I’m doing everything I can to subdue my mirth.
“So, do you want to keep your tiny fish or throw it back?” I ask her, holding it high in the air. “I can take a picture of you holding it if you want.”
“Duke, you better stop teasing me, or so help me God.” She looks at me with narrowed eyes.
“Throw him back, he’s just a baby.” She plops down on the bench, crossing her arms over her chest, the most adorable pout sticking out her lower lip.
Flipping the net over, I drop the little guy back where he came from.
Reaching under the seat, I pull out my waterless soap and wash up before rinsing with water from the cooler. Squatting down, I kneel between Caroline’s knees and take her face in my hands.
“You’re so damn adorable.” Leaning forward, I take her lip between my teeth and give it a small nip.
She melts into my embrace before nearly falling onto me from her bench.
Grabbing her hips, I pull her down onto my lap, her knees bracketing my hips.
Leaning against my chair, I pull her mouth to mine and again, we are dry humping.
Instantly, all the blood, and thoughts in my head, flood into my cock.
Holding her against me, I rub my erection into her, kissing her mouth, her jaw, and her neck.
Every inch of exposed skin I touch. She moans into my mouth, and I snake my hand under her shirt, caressing the soft skin of her back.
Under her shirt, she wears a tank top like last time, again, with no bra.
Lifting the hem of her shirt, I pull it over her head so she straddles me with her nipples inches from my mouth.
I look up at her and find her eyes hooded, her pupils wide with desire.
Pulling down the neckline of her shirt, I capture her pebbled nipple between my teeth and give a tiny pull that makes her gasp.
Finding her lips again, I kiss her deeply, my tongue exploring her mouth while I grab her hips, pushing her against me and guiding her movements over my hard cock.
In my swim trunks, there isn’t much between us and I can feel how warm she is, how slick.
Her gasps fill my mouth before she throws her head back, moaning loudly, while grinding down on me.
Her breathing comes in gasps now as she sets a rhythm for herself, using me for her own pleasure and it’s, by far, one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen.
A flush starts to expand across her chest as she pushes herself closer to the edge, humping me.
She feels so good against me, I bite my lip in concentration.
She props her arms on my knees, pushing her bouncing breasts into my face and I nip at the skin with my teeth while she rubs her heat against me, pushing and grinding.
A hiss escapes my lips as I try to concentrate on the woman in front of me.
I’ve never seen anything more beautiful than the blush of her impending orgasm.
Don’t do it, Duke. You’re thirty-seven years old, if you come in your swim trunks like a teenager, you’ll never live it down.
“Yes, Sunshine, you’re so beautiful right here, right now. I can’t imagine ever seeing anything better than this.” I hold tight to her while she rocks, her movements a little more frenzied, her breaths panting out of her.
“Fuck, fuck, Duke.” My name falls from her lips before she shudders, pushing against me, she collapses into me, her breathing erratic and her heart thumping against my chest.
I kiss her slightly sweaty temple and wrap my arms around her as she relaxes.
Yeah, I think bringing Caroline fishing was a good idea.
Cash coming over on Monday kept my mind off Caroline. We had a few too many whiskeys before he had to call Lincoln to come pick him up at midnight.
For the first time in a dozen years, when the subject of Cash’s latest conquest came up, I had something to add.
He’s been talking about this girl Callie for a few days—he seems wrapped up in the possibility it might turn into something.
The way he talks about her, he might be right.
It seems like it’s moving slower than his love life usually does; he’s taking his time instead of taking her to bed.
Though, according to him, he can’t get his mind off her so it’s probably only a matter of time.
And I told him about Caroline. Not much.
It’s not even anything yet. But, in my drunkenness, I told him all about the truck.
How a little bubble of magic in a Montana spring thunderstorm was better than anything I have ever experienced with anyone.
I’m thirty-seven years old and was married for a long time, yet I was making out and dry humping in the front seat of my truck, like a kid, on the side of the road.
I thought Cash was going to spit out his drink when I told him. Admittedly, it was uncharacteristic of me. Just something about Caroline brings out something fun and reckless, something I’ve been missing.
Getting married at twenty-six had been late by small town standards.
Indie went to high school with me, even though she’s the same age as Cash.
I graduated a few years ahead of them, but our mamas had been friends their whole lives, so Cash and I spent as much time together as brothers, even though we are both only children.
Hanging out at high school parties as a twenty-one-year-old, I supplied the beer and met Indie.
There was never the raw passion between us that I have felt crackling with Caroline.
The fact that she wants to stay in Inspiration makes me nervous and elated. I have no idea what to do with her. By the time Thursday rolled around, I needed to see her, hence the fishing date.
After our fishing trip, I don’t hear from Caroline for a few days.
I don’t want to chase too much or hold on too tight.
I feel awkward; I thought something was happening on the boat but we’ve only had a few scattered texts since then.
I couldn’t even talk to Cash about it since he had championship finals this weekend.
First place, again. The little shit. I’ll never escape his ego.
Taking my phone from the coffee table, I text her.
I kind of want to say something but I’m a little lost.
Are we good?
Caroline
Of course, Grumpy. Why wouldn’t we be?
We haven’t really talked since the fishing trip. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable around me or anything.
Caroline
I’m not. Can I come by the bar tonight or are Tuesdays also ‘handsy’?
You can come anytime you want.
I pause. Consider the phrasing and decide to send it anyway. Flirting is definitely Cash’s forte but I’ll leave it and see if it gets anything.
Caroline
For some reason, after the last few times I’ve seen you, I believe you.
Yep, it got something. My dick instantly strains. What in the hell is this woman doing to me? It was barely innuendo, and my libido has woken up.
Like I said, happy to be of service, sweetheart.
Embarrassed at myself, I close the text thread and open a different one.
Hey, can I come by and see my baby?
Colter
Yeah, she’s waiting for you.
While I type, another one from Caroline comes through, just two words, “I bet.” And if they aren’t damn true.
It’s been a while since I’ve been with a woman, since before Indie left.
I’m just not a casual hook up kind of guy.
I’ve never dreamed of waking up next to a woman before but this morning, before I opened my eyes, I saw her green eyes looking back at me, sleep tousled hair a mess from me running my fingers through it.
It was a very imaginative morning.
“Dolly, Hank. Truck.” They run out the door ahead of me and sit by the passenger side door, waiting for me to open it. Once we are all in, I set off down the road. I’ve got a few hours before I have to open the bar and it’s been too long since I’ve been to see Lola.
The comfort I find pulling up next to Cash’s truck at the old farmhouse is immeasurable. This place has always felt like home. I see him bounding down the steps, dogs hot on his heels.
“Why the fuck do you look so happy?” I joke as I grab him around the neck, knocking his hat off and rubbing his head. The dogs start wrestling in the dirt too.
Pulling himself free, he swipes his hat from the ground and throws a loose punch.
“Gotta be quicker than that, old man,” he says as his soft hit lands true on my chest. “Just being an amazing rodeo champion, you know. Plus, the girl of my dreams.”
He sets off at a jog toward the barn. I follow behind with a trail of dogs barking and shuffling behind me.
The inside of the six-stall barn is clean and smells like fresh hay and musky horse. It’s comforting in the way home is after a long vacation.
Walking down to stall number four, with its hand painted sign bearing ‘Lola,’ I whistle low, and she pops her head out.
She stretches her neck to reach me, and I move closer, unlatching her stall.
During my drive over, Cash must have saddled her for me.
Her white hair and long gray mane are shiny and clean.
Her red leather saddle, Duke engraved on the side, is slung over a soft fleece blanket.
Grabbing her rope, I lead her from the barn.
Sitting in the saddle, I wait for Cash to join me on Daisy before we set off.
“She just shows up last week, coffee and pastries in hand, like the freaking angel she is.” Cash just chats about Callie, not a care in the world. I don’t listen too closely; he just wants to talk.
“She sounds pretty perfect, Cash. What’s the catch?” I think back to my own girl. I haven’t gotten to spend enough time with her to know if there is a catch yet, but the tension and heat between us is boiling up, quickly.
“Couldn’t tell you. I haven’t seen anything yet. She’s got some sort of past she’s working through but otherwise…” He shrugs.
“You serious about this girl? Like actually serious?” I ask him, surprised. He hasn’t ever been serious about someone so it’s a pretty abrupt change.
“Yeah, Duke. It’s new and I don’t know what will happen, but it feels different this time.”
“Bout damn time.”
Rubbing down the bartop again, despite the bar being almost completely empty, I get lost in my thoughts. I’m completely lost in thoughts of a beautiful blonde, in my lap, grinding on me, her arms around me, her vanilla strawberry smell all over me. Swiping my rag over the wet wood, I zone out.
Swipe.
Her sad eyes as she tears up, her pain eating her up.
Swipe.
Her joyful smile as she pointed out all the animals on our drive. Her excitement over the fish she had on her line.
Swipe.
“Grumpy, what’s a girl gotta do to get a drink around here?”
I jump at the sound of her voice and she laughs, loudly, drawing the attention of the couple of men in the bar. Her eyes dance with mirth at my embarrassment and I narrow my eyes.
“Good evening to you too, Caroline. Don’t sneak up on me like that.”
She chuckles, a huge, happy smile on her face. It’s infectious. “Duke, I was standing here for, at least, forty-five seconds before I said anything. Directly in front of you. You were facing me. Which part was the sneaking?”
“Hush.” I crack a smile, my lips twitching up, slightly.
“One day, I’ll get a real smile from you, Not-Cowboy.”
I consider smiling but I don’t. No reason I can identify, it just doesn’t happen as naturally for me as it does other people.
“What can I get you, sweetheart?”
“Some service, on the bar. I mean, bar service.”
She winks. Stands in my bar, propositions me, and winks. I can’t form a thought; my mouth opens slightly. Before I can get it together, she giggles and says, “My usual, Grumpy.”
I pause. I have served her exactly one drink. What was it? I turn around, perusing the wall before remembering. Pulling down the Walton’s, I turn and, again, she was clearly checking me out. I smile to myself while I pour her drink.
Three whiskeys later, she’s a little unsteady on her feet. She stands, her legs a little wobbly, and asks where the bathroom is. I direct her toward the door behind the counter, where I have a single bathroom, clean, not used by the customers. Sadie deserves a safe, clean bathroom when she works.
After a few minutes, she hasn’t returned so I wander back to find her seated at my desk, looking at the pictures I have displayed.
I clear my throat; this time I’ve caught her off-guard. She looks sheepish as she makes eye contact with me. She’s holding a picture of Indie, Cash, and myself from Christmas two years ago. She looks a little sad but also wistful.
“Your life is so…authentic. You fit so perfectly here. I never fit where I was. It always felt like I was being forced to fit somewhere that was too tight.” She’s sad again. Tell me how to fix it, Sunshine. “She’s so pretty.” She drags the word out until it feels a mile long.
“Who?” I ask, perplexed.
“Indie,” she says with an inflection I can’t identify. Jealousy maybe?
“How do you know Indie?” I’m not sure what she knows or what she wants from me.
“She came to see Lizzie. I met her. God, she’s gorgeous.”
I shrug. I guess she’s not wrong. I always felt like I had won a prize when I had Indie on my arm. Until the end, when it felt like a punishment.
“You don’t have to lie, Duke. You were married to a supermodel, and here I am thinking I have a chance.”
Shock runs through me at her words. That she wants us to have a chance and that she is insecure, comparing herself to Indie.
“I don’t know what to say here, sweetheart. She’s my ex. I can’t change it. But don’t compare yourself to her. You’re you. And you are something special.”
“I need to go. Bye, Duke.” She stands, walking out of the back, through the bar and out the front door. I chase after her into the parking lot. Thankfully, it seems like she walked over.
“Wait, Caroline. Wait.”
She turns to me, tears in her eyes and I’m thrown back to that night last New Year’s.
“Duke, I can’t do this anymore.” Tears run down her cheeks.
“Indie, I don’t know what you want from me. I have given you everything I can.”
“It isn’t enough. I had dreams. I’m stuck in this small town, with a small-town guy, who just wants to run a bar and it’s suffocating me.” Her retreating figure, her shoulders shaking, the pine smell of the Christmas tree that still fills the windows. I fall apart.
“Don’t go.”
Seeing Caroline running from me breaks me a little.
“Caroline, I can’t change the past. I don’t want you to be upset about things I can’t control. Why can’t we focus on now?”
“Sometimes, you get it, Duke, like really get it. And sometimes, you don’t.” Turning, she walks away, leaving me standing alone.
“Don’t go,” I whisper.