Chapter 38
(Everything I do) I do It for you
Cash
Finally having some alone time with Callie feels like falling into a warm embrace, I’ve missed her so fiercely.
Serving her the steak I grilled up with a potato, we sit outside and have dinner on the deck.
“How was your day without me, Hurricane?” She looks a little unsure how to respond. “Listen, this is as new to me as it is to you, and to Duke. None of us have ever had to navigate something like this before. If you had fun with Duke, you can tell me.”
“I had a good day. We had fun watching movies and stuff. I just don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“If there was ever a man in the world that I was jealous of being with you, around you, it wouldn’t be Duke. I know he’s a good man. And there is every chance you end up with him as there is with me. But he deserves happiness too, so I don’t begrudge him chasing it.”
“Cash?”
“Hmm?”
“I need to tell you something.”
The words feel like a lead stone just dropped into my stomach. I lay my fork and knife on the table and give her my full attention.
“I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve what I did.
I didn’t set out with the intention to hurt you or Duke.
By the time I realized you guys were friends, best friends, I was already in too deep.
I knew I couldn’t keep it from you both forever; it was inevitable.
But I just wanted to for a little longer before I was forced to choose or lose you both. So, I’m sorry.”
“Fuck, Hurricane. You have the most amazing, kind, pure heart. I know, we know, you weren’t trying to hurt us. Can I tell you a secret, just between us?”
She looks at me curiously. “Yes.”
“After the rodeo, after my initial hurt wore off, I wanted to run over to your house every single day. You’re the only woman I’ve ever felt this way about. I don’t want to stress you out, and Duke said I shouldn’t even tell you. But fuck, Callie. You’re the only woman for me.”
Her mouth opens in a silent ‘O.’
“I love you, Caroline Pearce. I’m sorry to just spring this on you, and you don’t have to return it, I just need you to know.
I have loved you since the first time I took you out.
I was in love with you at Lizzie’s when we packed your stuff, and I was head over heels that day by the creek.
I thought I lost you in that closet and I don’t know if I would have survived it.
” The memory of that day causes tears to spring to my eyes which I swipe away with the back of my hand.
She has a stunned look on her face, then it crumbles and tears fill her eyes and spill down her cheeks.
Standing, I round the table and squat in front of her. “What Callie, what is it? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Nothing’s wrong really, I just—” Sobs tear from her chest.
“Callie, what in the world?”
“I just, I love you too, Cash. So much. But…” She doesn’t finish her sentence, and she doesn’t need to. My heart damn near explodes out here on the porch. I want to cover her from head to toe in kisses, lavish her with love until she pushes me away.
She’s worried about Duke. Worried about what this means.
“Don’t worry about Duke, baby.” I kiss the tears on her cheeks. “I promise, nothing has changed. Actually, this weekend, we’re going to his house to get more of his stuff and make this living arrangement a little more permanent. Nobody is leaving.”
More tears roll down her face, and Tank whines at her feet. Out of all the dogs, he’s the most obsessed with her. He just wants to lay on her all day. He must get that from me. She reaches a hand down and rubs his head, soothing his anxiety.
“I know we are just getting into the swing of things here and returning to work but, uh…” I rub the back of my neck with my hand, trying to figure out how to bring this up.
Her wide, wet eyes watch me. “The rodeo season is winding down, but I have a couple more appearances to make before the end of September. Then we settle into winter. So, I will be gone in the next few weeks, off and on.”
She sniffles a little but doesn’t say anything.
Laying in my bed later, I stare up at the ceiling.
Things have gotten infinitely more complicated but also simpler.
Duke and I have the woman we love right across the hall from us—this is what every man could want.
But we have to traverse the complicated relationship we are in and what the future holds.
Duke has been my best friend for more than thirty years but now, my heart is twice as large to accommodate someone new and I want to explore exactly what this means.