Chapter 40
Stand by Me
Duke
I can’t believe I get to have her in my bed tonight.
Or her bed. Whatever works for her. I just want to hold her in my arms, wrap myself around her, and never let go.
Pouring drinks for the regulars and chatting with Sadie, I watch the minutes tick by for her to show up and bring the sunshine into my bar.
At a little after seven, I call over to Mable’s and place an order for a grilled cheese and fries for Caroline.
It should get here around the same time she does.
The rodeo is on the television above the bar and Cash should show around eight-thirty or so.
She’s finally off the medications so she can have a drink if she wants.
“Boss, you’re fidgeting like a high school boy going to pick up his prom date. What the hell is going on?” Sadie asks.
“Nothing, I’m fine. Worry about yourself.” I pull the towel off my shoulder and start wiping down the already clean bar.
“Okay, grumpy pants.” Her snarky comment causes a few men at the bar to snicker in response. I ignore them, going back to my clock watching.
Seven-thirty comes and goes and she’s not here. A little bit later, the food shows up and I put it on the counter behind the bar.
Seven-forty and she still hasn’t gotten here.
Seven-fifty.
Hey Caroline, I got some food here for you, when you going to get here?
She reads it but doesn’t respond. Must be driving or something.
Another fifteen minutes passes and she still isn’t here.
Hey Sunshine, I’m worried now. Everything okay? Cash is up in twenty minutes.
Eight-fifteen.
Eight-twenty.
I decide to call her this time.
“Hey, this is Callie, leave a message.”
“Hey Caroline, it’s almost eight-thirty. I was expecting you an hour ago. I’m really worried now. Please call me back. I love you.”
I look up at the show and hear them announce Cash. Leaning against the bar, I watch him ride. It’s beautiful as always. The countdown timer in the corner counts his eight seconds.
Six-seconds, he flows perfectly in sync with his bull.
Five-seconds, they dance like it’s choreographed, his talent on display for the world.
Four-seconds, the tail of his rope is loose and whipping around.
Three-seconds, the tail whips him in the face. The crowd ‘ooooohs’ in response.
Two-seconds, the great beast beneath him does a double rear, pushing him back, the tail of his rope flying around and Cash loses his hold, flying off into the sand.
His arm somehow lodges under the flank rope, getting trapped against the body of the raging animal.
The barrel-men rush toward Cash to pull him free, his arm twisted at a sickening angle.
They pull him while the fighters try to distract the bull.
As soon as they pull his arm free, Cash collapses to the ground. The thousand-pound bull sees him fall and stomps on top of him, catching him across the abdomen with his hooves. The bull is pulled away as Cash lays in the dirt, unmoving.
“What the fuck?” I hear from behind me, though I have no idea who it is. The camera pans away from Cash’s prone body as the announcer discusses the wreck. I feel my mouth hanging open, but no words come out.
I feel a hand on my arm and Sadie’s voice. “Duke, are you okay?”
I don’t respond. I just pull my phone from my pocket. I don’t know if I should call Caroline to find her or Sleepy to figure out what’s happening with Cash.
I settle on Sleepy.
“Duke,” he says by way of greeting when he picks up.
“Tell me he’s alright, Sleepy.”
“I can’t do that. I don’t know.” My heart sinks at his words and I walk into the back room, leaning over the slop sink in case my stomach decides to empty itself.
“Is he…where is he? What’s happening?” I plead for any piece of information.
“They just loaded him up. They are taking him to Regional. It don’t look good.”
My stomach has had enough, and I cough before vomiting into the sink. I heave over and over until I collapse onto the floor, my head between my knees.
“I’m going now, Duke. I’ll let you know.” The line goes dead, and I stare at the phone in my hand.
Where the hell is Caroline?
Dialing her number, it goes to voicemail again.
I can’t even form words when it’s time for the message. Tears run down my face, sobs erupting from my chest in giant hitching breaths.
Cash is hurt.
I don’t even know how to write anything else. I can’t figure out what to write. How do I put any of this into words? My phone rings in my hand, Caroline’s smiling face appearing on the screen.
“Hello.” My voice is hollow, wrecked. I can barely breathe through the pain in my chest.
“Duke? What’s wrong? What happened?”
“Where are you? You weren’t here. He’s hurt, bad. And you weren’t here.” My voice is defeated, but I have to keep myself calm to have any sort of conversation.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m coming now. Tell me, what happened?”
“Cash, the rodeo, the bull.” My words don’t make much sense, but I can’t. I just can’t. I start sobbing all over again. I feel Sadie wrapping her arms around me, and I sob into her shoulder. She pulls the phone from my hand.
“Hello?” she says.
“Oh, Caroline. Yeah, I know what happened. Cash fell and got trampled. He didn’t get up. Um, I don’t know what happened after that. Duke is real tore up though. Yeah, I’ll tell him.”
Hanging up, she slips my phone into my shirt pocket. “She said she is twenty minutes away. What happened Duke?”
“Sleepy said they took him to the hospital. It doesn’t look good.
” A fresh wave of nausea overtakes me, and I start heaving again, but there isn’t anything left.
I just drool onto the floor, between my bent knees.
My body shakes with sobs as I try to clear my head for just a moment, to figure out what happens now.
I sit on the floor of the backroom and cry and cry and cry until I feel a different set of arms around me.
“Come on, Duke. We have to get up now.” It’s Caroline’s soft voice I hear.
“Caroline?”
“Yes, Duke, I’m here. We have to go to him, he needs us.”
I nod and allow her to wrap her arms around me and hoist me to my feet. She leads me out of the bar to her car and bundles me inside, helping me belt myself in.
“Where do I go, Duke?” she asks me quietly, getting her GPS ready. I tell her the name of the medical center and she sets off. It’s completely silent in the car except for my hitching breath every once in a while. It takes an hour but sooner than I realize, we’re pulling into the lot.
Somewhat calmer, I pull my phone from my pocket and check for messages; I have nothing. I dial Sleepy.
“Duke.” His normally deep voice sounds empty and strained.
“Where is he, Sleepy? We are here at Regional.”
“I’m in the first floor waiting room. Come in.” And he hangs up.
Caroline comes around the car and opens the door. We walk side by side, her hand clutched tightly in mine as we walk. She squeezes mine reassuringly, but I don’t feel any better. I won’t feel any better until this is over and I know that Cash is okay.
Approaching Sleepy sitting in the plastic chair in the blue-walled waiting room where everything smells like disinfectant, I don’t miss the reflection of Cash and I in an almost identical waiting room when Caroline was in the hospital.
He stands as we enter the room, his face thirty years older than the last time I laid eyes on him. His shoulders are slumped, and his soul seems empty.
No.
“No, Sleepy. You can’t tell me what you’re about to say. NO!” I yell. I don’t need his words; I can feel them already.
“It’s not good, Duke.” He sits heavily in the chair, motioning me to take the one next to him.
“Three broken ribs and a punctured lung, a broken femur, and a broken arm.” I hear Caroline gasp beside me.
“But he hit his head, hard, when he fell. He hasn’t woken up and his heart stopped twice on the way here. ”
Broken, soul-crushing sobs come from Caroline, and she covers her mouth to try and hold them in. I want to cry with her, I want to, but I’m numb. The pain is so overwhelming I don’t even think I have the capacity to feel it anymore.
“His mama and daddy are on the way; they’ll be here in about an hour. I was waiting for them.”
We sit in silence, only interrupted by Caroline’s breathing and muffled cries. I take deep breaths, convinced that if I don’t fall apart, it will be okay. We will all be okay.
“Sleepy?” I hear Cash’s mother as she rushes into the waiting room.
“Hey, Mrs. Colter. Mr. Colter,” he says.
His mama pulls me in for a hug, causing me to lose my grip on Caroline’s hand as I’m enveloped. “Hey Duke. I’m so glad you’re here.” She gives me a wearied look, her eyes red-rimmed from her tears.
Caroline stands and recaptures my hand, leaning heavily against me.
“Mrs. Colter, this is Caroline.” I don’t explain who she is, I don’t have the energy to decide what to say.
“Oh Callie, aren’t you Cash’s girlfriend? He told us all about you.”
Caroline’s face crumples at her words. Mrs. Colter’s gaze takes us in, standing side by side, a little closer than appropriate for me and my best friend’s girlfriend, her fingers entwined with mine. She doesn’t comment, of course, but on the other side of this, there will be questions.
“Yes, I’m Callie.” She holds out a hand for a handshake which both of Cash’s parents accept.
“I have to go meet with the doctor, but I will come right back,” Mrs. Colter says and rushes from the room.
Sitting back down in the uncomfortable chair, I feel Sleepy’s eyes on me.
I raise my gaze to meet his. His steely glare volleys between me and Caroline, and I can see the thoughts swirling in his eyes.
We stare at each other for a few long moments until he seems to make a decision and opens his mouth to speak.
“Okay, I spoke to the doctor.” Mrs. Colter rushes into the room before Sleepy gets out whatever thoughts he had formulated. I see him shake his head slightly, like he’s clearing away his calculations.