Chapter 14
Chapter
Fourteen
PEARL
M aybe it was the lack of oxygen that made her off balance.
Maybe it was the world-tilting kiss.
But Pearl had learned two things in the last five minutes
1. Reed had a huge cock
2. She reeeeally wanted to fuck him.
“We…uh, shouldn’t do that again,” Reed said. He wouldn’t meet her eyes.
Ouch .
“As if I’d get stuck in there with you again,” she said, her spikes coming out.
“Right, no. I meant the…” He gestured to their mouths, wiping his against the back of his hand.
Is he disgusted by me? It poked at a soft underbelly she tried to hide with her defenses.
“Who said I wanted to?” She tossed a shoulder up with a glower at him, hiding every single one of her feelings.
Her lips still tingled—fucking tingled —from where his fingers had caressed them, wiping off her lipstick.
“Pearl.” He finally met her eyes with a soft look. “You kissed me.”
She scoffed. “You kissed me back .”
“You were panicking,” he said, losing his patience.
“That doesn’t mean I want to do it again.” She rolled her lips together, trying to get a taste of him.
Liar, liar, black tights on fire.
“I mean, it didn’t seem like you were not into it.” He pushed his glasses up, trying to hide a proud smile.
She’d moaned. She’d moaned a fucking lot; she knew this. She’d been about ten seconds away from begging for more, whatever more was.
“Fine. I pinky promise never to kiss you ever again. It’ll be the easiest fucking thing I’ll ever do,” she said, realizing they were now toe to toe.
“Thank you,” he said with a quiet smile.
Obviously, he’d never actually want you. He probably wants some 2.5 kids, white picket fence, cupcake-making princess to plan out his perfect little life.
And what the fuck do I even care about his life?!
“Ugh.” She stomped around him.
This was just like when they were kids. He always managed to make her feel like a weird dumbass.
Impossiblybookish
so what are your weekend plans
Hemingway_cansuckit
Spending some quality time with my library’s audiobook app
Maybe open a bottle of red, put on some candlelight, jazz.
Treat her to a good time.
Impossiblybookish
are you trying to make me jealous of a non-sentient data collection?
Hemingway_cansuckit
Is it working?
Impossiblybookish
oh honey,
no.
but i love you for trying.
wait
not
i love you.
fuck
i meant ‘not i love you’
you know what i mean
it’s cute you want to make me jealous.
and i love that
but not LOVE Love
Not that I don’t care for you a whole fucking lot
Oh my god I see you reading my messages
for the Love of cheese say something!
…….
Hemingway!!!!!!
you’re the worst.
Hemingway_cansuckit
…
What’s that saying about payback?
Impossiblybookish
that people who do it are petty and mean and DON’T have huge penises.
Hemingway_cansuckit
Ah, that’s right.
You were so flustered that you let some capital letters through.
Adorable.
Noted, Bookish. You don’t LOVE love me.
I care for you a whole fucking lot too.
Impossiblybookish
ANYWHO
i started and finished Mr. Penumbra’s 24 Hour Bookstore in one sitting last night.
you should read it - so good. whimsical, romantic, edge-of-your-seat mystery.
Hemingway_cansuckit
I dunno.
A book about a bookstore?
Alllllll the stories in the universe at a writer’s fingertips and it’s about the place you buy the book from??
Seems…a little navel-gazey
Impossiblybookish
i’d personally love to gaze at your navel
Hemingway_cansuckit
LOVE love to gaze at it?
Or just care a whole fucking lot?
Impossiblybookish
you’re the *worst*
After a weekend of very purposefully avoiding Reed, Pearl stood outside the courthouse on the following Monday, a single bead of sweat dripping down the center of her back.
Being a goth girl in the summer was its own cross to bear.
She’d changed her outfit no less than three times, not that she’d ever tell a soul that.
Her only pair of non-ripped tights, a skirt that didn’t have any witchcraft symbols or high slits, and a plain black shirt—that was her serious professional outfit. Right before she left the house, she’d remembered to take off her earrings that said “Fuck” and “You” on either side of her ears.
This was as presentable as she got.
Reed walked up jauntily looking confident and breezy, but she knew the tic in his eyes. He was stressed.
They were following up on the bullshit permits Beulah had made up. It was probably all her fault that Beulah was even causing them grief, and she had to make it right.
Despite still having hurt feelings over his reaction to the kiss, Pearl wasn’t going to let him be thrown into the lion’s den of the Fairwick Falls bureaucratic machine. He was too nice.
He would take no for an answer.
She, however, wouldn’t.
“You look nice,” he said with a happy smile.
And like a fucking bird preening, she stood a little taller and forced down a smile. Why did he have to notice things?
“These people are allergic to rips in clothing, so ta-da. Now let’s get inside before I melt into a little punk puddle.”
“You know, you didn’t have to come. I could handle this,” he said, shifting the papers in his hand.
His skin was sun-kissed, probably from the runs he went on everyday, and the white button-up shirt clung to his arms and chest. He’d unbuttoned one extra button which gave a tantalizing hint of his chest.
She reached up and buttoned it for him, her long nails scraping his skin. He froze.
“Don’t want any of the old bats in there to have an aneurysm from all your muscles,” she said, waving a sarcastic hand at his chest and abs as she stepped away. She could still remember what they felt like if she thought hard enough. “Plus, you need me there. I have to scare them into submission.”
“I’m not worried,” he said with a happy bounce, starting to run up the courthouse steps. “It’s just normal paperwork.”
Pearl followed him. “I brought fake blood capsules just in case.”
“For what ?” he said in horror.
“In case! I don’t know, we need a distraction, or a fake injury, or a man tells me to smile. They always come in handy. You’re never gonna say, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry I brought the perfect excuse’ when shit hits the fan.”
He got to the door first and opened it for her, standing back.
She rolled her eyes as he gestured her in. “Patriarchal bullshit,” she muttered even as a smile tugged at her lips.
She was a big fat hypocrite, okay? She hated it when a guy was a gentleman and she loved it at the same time.
They wandered the musty, air-conditioned halls of the courthouse. The signs were barely helpful, giving only enough information for someone to find their way through the catacomb of old rooms.
Finally, they stumbled upon the County Commissioner’s office. It was a long hallway of closed, teller-like windows. No sounds gave away that humans even existed.
“Creepy,” Reed muttered.
“Pretty sure I just saw a tumbleweed.”
One window on the row of teller windows, however, was cracked open two inches. Pearl bent down, saw a human, and knocked hard.
The window raised up and Beulah stood glaring at them. “What?” she said with a flat, croaking voice.
“Hi,” Reed said, adjusting his glasses as he set the papers down. “I wanted to check on the permits that we filed to make sure we have final approval.”
Beulah stared at them with contempt. “You have to go to the Zoning and Planning Department.” She shut the window.
Pearl knocked on the window again. “Open up, you old?—”
Reed put a hand over hers, stopping her. “It’s fine. We’ll just go find the Zoning and Planning Department.”
They wandered to the end of the hallway where an old map showed the labyrinth of the courthouse. “I think we have to go back outside, and then go back in the other way.”
They walked all the way outside, around the building, and back up three staircases.
Pearl tried very hard not to look at Reed’s ass as he jaunted up the stairs in front of her, but it was just so perfect. Muscular, bubble-like.
So, as a special little treat, she stared at it all the way up the third staircase.
That’s a motivational ass right there.
A little bit more than out of breath, they went back up and saw what looked to be an identical row of teller-like arches with the windows rolled down and a sign that said “Zoning and Planning.”
Pearl knocked hard and the window opened, and Beulah— fucking Beulah —was right there.
“Department of Zoning and Planning, how can I help you?” she said, looking bored.
“Jesus fucking Christ.” Pearl rolled her eyes. Beulah was in the same office; she’d just turned around to the opposite side.
“So, about that permit?” Reed smiled with what looked like all his charm.
“You have to take this paper”—she tossed up an 8-by-11” sheet with old-style typing on it—“to the Historical Preservation Subcommittee of the Zoning and Planning Department. Do you have Form B with you?”
Reed shuffled through the stack of papers.
“Beulah, cut the fucking crap. Just tell us what we’re supposed to do,” Pearl said, leaning in.
“No,” Beulah said. “No special treatment.”
Hot water. She was going to pour hot water all over this woman’s flowers tonight.
Was it cruel? Yes, the flowers weren’t to blame. Was it a little illegal? Probably.
She didn’t fucking care.
“Yes, I have Form B right here.” Reed looked victorious.
“Good, you don’t need it,” Beulah said, starting to slam the window down.
Pearl shot her hand out, holding up the window. “Where is the Historical Preservation Subcommittee?”
“It’s around the corner,” Beulah said. Pearl yanked her hand back as Beulah continued to slam down the window.
“It’s fine,” Reed said with a calming look.
Her temper was flaring. “She’s doing this because of me. It’s my fault and I need to fix it.”
“I don’t think you were the cause for all these forms,” he said, holding up a big stack of papers.
“Yes, I am. Half the shit she made up. She’s trying to get back at me for the gnomes.”
“The what?” He stared at her. “Never mind, probably better if I don’t know. Let’s just do it the right way, and then we can get back on schedule.”
They wandered around the corner to a door that was closed. A sign that said “Historical Preservation Subcommittee - Zoning and Planning” was falling off the door.
They opened it, and Beulah stood right behind the door.
“This is hell. We’re in hell right now,” Pearl said.
“Hello, welcome to the Historical Preservation Subcommittee,” Beulah droned.
Pearl fisted her hands to keep them in place. “Is there anybody else who works here that we could talk to? Maybe somebody who’s not a demon in a sack of skin?”
As if on cue, a man came whistling out from behind Beulah, carrying a cup of coffee and a large donut. His photo matched the one on the wall that said County Commissioner.
Oh my god, it’s Pecan Man.
“Hey!” Pearl shouted. The man looked up. “You owe me seven hundred dollars.”
The man froze.
“Listen,” Reed said, with an edge in his voice as he stared Beulah down. “We just want our permits.”
There was a command to his voice that had Pearl staring at his clenched jaw.
“ Shut up and take it ” echoed in her head from their kiss.
So he did have a spine. Hot .
“You’ll need to come back and schedule a review time with the Historical Society Committee,” Beulah droned.
“We’re going to schedule it right now,” Pearl said. She stepped in front of Reed and pointed to the man behind Beulah. “Or I’m going to tackle this man and take all of his money.”
“I don’t know what she’s talking about,” the man said as he started to back away from the door.
She slipped a blood capsule into her mouth.
“We’re just trying to do the right thing, so just tell me when. We’ll accommodate any time,” Reed said.
Beulah looked at them, bored and unmoved. “You’ll have to come back. We only schedule appointments on Tuesday from 2:15 to 2:57.”
“No,” Pearl said. “We’re going to schedule it now .”
Pearl widened her eyes to look crazed and bit down on the fake blood capsule, feeling the liquid fill her mouth. “It would be a shame if there are more pecans on that donut.” She smiled as bright as she could muster, staring directly at the man, blood dripping down her chin.
If she wasn’t getting her seven hundred dollars back, she could at least fuck with him.
“Um… uh, Beulah, it’s fine. You can schedule them now,” Pecan Man said as he practically ran out of the room.
Beulah sighed.
Reed glanced over at her and did a double take with a long sigh afterwards.
He put his hands on his hips. “And we can finish up construction, but just not open until the committee’s approval?”
“Yes, that’s what I said,” she said, sliding a piece of paper toward them. “The next available spot is three weeks away.”
“We need something sooner,” Pearl said. It would be too close to the soft opening.
“Take it or leave it. Maria’s on some fancy vacation until then,” Beulah said.
“We’ll take it,” Reed said, resigned.
“Scheduled. Have a nice day.” Beulah slammed the door in their face.
Pearl tossed open the window next to the door, knowing it would peer into the room.
“Eat a bag of soft, gummy dicks!” she said and slammed the window back down.
“Soft?” Reed said with a laugh.
“She’s old. I don’t want her to, like, break a tooth or something,” Pearl said, enjoying the feeling of the fake blood running down her chin.
“You’ve got a little…” Reed said, pointing to his chin.
She didn’t wipe it away as she smiled. “See? Came in handy.”
He laughed and she was delighted with herself.
“I’m so glad you came, Pearl. I couldn’t do this without you, or the blood capsules. Plus,” he said, pushing open the door for her to walk through, “they really complement your smile.”
Go away, glitter feelings.
Go away.