Chapter 32
Chapter
Thirty-Two
REED
R eed sat in his car outside of Bookish, numb. He’d driven back on autopilot.
The one person who he thought could love him just as he was…
Thought he was too much.
And her name is on the goddamn door .
He hadn’t been brave enough to tell his parents the truth and had lost the one person who mattered. On top of that, he’d loved too hard and pushed too much.
First thing was first, he had to apologize to Violet. She’d been nothing but supportive and sweet since he’d moved to Fairwick Falls. His gut churned as he walked to Bloom.
As he reached for the antique knob, Rose pushed open the door.
“Hey,” he said with a smile.
“Hi,” she said. Her response was curt.
“Is Violet in there? I need to talk to her.”
“Why don’t you talk to me first?” She locked her arm through his and spun him around back toward Main Street. “Violet needs some time.”
“My parents surprised me and she was there. I panicked and didn’t say anything about you all, and I think I hurt her feelings. I feel so awful.”
Rose patted his arm. “It’s my job to protect her—all of you, actually, you included—and you did hurt her feelings. So now you get to deal with me.”
“Fuck,” he muttered, hating the thought of hurting Violet.
You never should have agreed to this. You knew you’d screw it up.
You knew you’d disappoint somebody, make them feel weird, be weird. This is why you didn’t want sisters.
“Let’s take a walk,” Rose said, nodding her head in the direction of a small park outside the town square.
It was a pretty summer day. A nice breeze cut through the humidity, families were out eating ice cream cones, people were jogging.
The day was perfect, except he’d somehow managed to fuck everything up.
They walked in silence for a while. Reed wasn’t sure what to even say.
“So, you gonna tell me what the deal is with eating now?” Rose said, not looking at him as they walked.
God, she was a ballbuster.
He ran his hands through his hair. “I didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable or feel sorry for me, so I figured it would be easier not to mention it.”
She raised an eyebrow at him.
Reluctantly, he explained the gist of his misophonia.
“Hmm.” She nodded. “I have a little bit of that, but it’s not as bad. I love my husband dearly, but every time he eats chips, it’s like his head is one of those satellite dishes that blasts a laser up into space.” She mimed a huge dish and the cacophony of an explosion.
He chuckled. “Something like that, but a lot more intense. I thought Lily was going to make me crazy when she ate a granola bar in Bookish before we opened.”
“Why didn’t you tell us? We thought you didn’t want to spend time with us.” She looked a little hurt, if he was reading her right.
He gulped, trying his best to be honest. “I just didn’t want to feel like a burden. It’s why I tend to shove stuff away. I just go along and usually people like me better.”
She hummed in understanding. “Come on, I want to show you something.”
They crossed the road into a small cemetery and walked until they reached the top of a small hill. Rose walked to a plot with lots of flowers on it.
He recognized the name instantly. Frank Parker.
“I didn’t realize he was…here,” Reed said awkwardly. He’d never thought to ask. He’d been too overwhelmed with everything else in his life.
“We come and visit sometimes,” Rose said with a sad smile. “I never thought to show you. Is this weird?” She grimaced.
“It’s fine.”
She raised an eyebrow. “The truth, please.”
“Okay, it’s a little weird.” He laughed. “But…nice.”
“Our dad spent a lot of his time running from issues. He just avoided talking or thinking about them. From his heart problems that killed him to his issues with me where we didn’t speak for years, the depression when our mom died, and the issues he had with his business.” She sighed, looking sad as she dusted off the headstone. “He’d spend his days with friends, but never asked for help with his problems. Never dealt with them. I was really mad because a lot of those issues landed on me after he died.”
The parallels were unsettling to Reed. Would this pattern continue until he died?
Would it be why he died?
The thought was harrowing. “That sounds really hard.”
“When something’s important, you suffer through the uncomfortable so you can make everything even better. I wish he just would have had a few uncomfortable conversations. He might still be here if he had,” Rose said, pausing over the idea.
Rose swiped leaves and twigs off his headstone. “I feel bad for him. He had a good life, but it could’ve been great if he’d just dealt with his issues rather than brushing them away.”
Reed nodded, processing it all. “I’ve never been good at being uncomfortable. Most of my life is uncomfortable already and so, I don’t know. I don’t want somebody to be upset with me. I never know what the final thing is that will make them say, ‘Enough, go away forever.’”
Like offering to help the woman you love and making her hate you.
“Everything you want is on the other side of discomfort. So, how bad do you want it?” Rose said.
Reed’s life had been a dream for the last few weeks.
He badly wanted the amazing life that he’d barely tasted.
It was worth everything.
Pearl was worth everything.
The one thing he really didn’t want to do was exactly what he needed to do.
“Hey, Margie.” Reed waved her in as he flipped his sign to “Open.”
She still had her Canon’s Diner uniform on as she booked it back to the romance section. “You got that new Motorcycle Club series I asked for?”
“It’s on the shelf,” he called, waving at her as she sped away.
After tossing and turning all night, he’d asked his parents to meet him here in the morning.
It was finally time to come clean.
But —he waved at two more customers coming in— it doesn’t hurt to have a few customers to show them I know what I’m doing.
The door opened, and his mom and dad walked through in breezy outfits.
“Hey, welcome,” he said as they met him in the front of the store.
“Oh.” His mother slid her sunglasses off as she looked around the bookshop. “This is lovely. Is Pearl here? We thought we could treat you both to breakfast.”
He gulped.
“Well, you couldn’t eat, but we could treat her,” his mother said with a smile.
Ah yes, this is why I rarely visit them.
“Pearl isn’t here.” He cleared his throat. “Actually, this isn’t Pearl’s bookstore. She’s been a big part of it, but actually, it’s, um...” He had trouble meeting their eyes. “It’s mine.”
“It’s your bookstore?” his dad said, confused.
“I quit my job, took the money from Grandpa”—his dad sucked in a breath—“and found this amazing space.”
That was shockingly easier than I thought it would be.
His smile was proud. He wouldn’t let them make him feel bad about it. The morning sun hit the polished woodwork just right. The gentle murmuring over the low jazz he played in the store was cozy and perfect.
“But your career,” his dad said, utterly confused.
“It was killing me,” Reed finally admitted. “I was overstimulated, miserable, doing work I hated. I couldn’t sleep. The only joy I found was reading. Grandpa and I used to talk about opening our own bookstore one day, and it feels like he’s still here when I’m in the store.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” his mom said, looking aghast.
“‘I’ve never wanted to disappoint you. I was a lot as a kid, and me being an architect made you so happy. I’ve hated architecture since my first camp in sixth grade.”
His mom’s hand came to her mouth. His dad was silent, staring at him.
“I never wanted to disappoint you, so I modeled my whole life after you, Dad. I wanted to belong and be a Berry. You saved us.”
His dad scoffed, but Reed knew the truth. They’d gone hungry sometimes before his mom had fallen in love with his dad. She’d tried to make ends meet as a single mom, but she’d also had a difficult relationship with her parents and had been on her own.
His dad shook his head in disbelief. “You don’t know the first thing about running your own business. How long can you stay open? Do you have a proper P we’re dating.”
His mom raised an eyebrow at his dad. “Told him,” she said, looking victorious. “You were half in love with her in high school. Poor boy.” She chuckled. “She’s angry. I like that.”
He saw Violet out of the corner of his eye.
“I also have something else to tell you,” he said to his mom.
He’d apologized to Violet last night after Rose had put him through his paces. They’d hugged, and she’d understood where he was coming from. She’d even gone so far as to brainstorm with him on how to convince Pearl that she was perfect for him.
He grabbed Violet in a quick hug as he brought her over. “I’m sorry again.”
“No problem,” she said with a sunny smile. “We have our whole lives for me to give you crap about it.”
“Mom, Dad, Violet isn’t my friend,” he said with a nervous smile. “She’s my half-sister.”
His mother’s eyebrows shot to her hairline.
“Nice to see you again, Mr. and Mrs. Berry,” Violet said with a friendly wave.
“There are two others,” Reed added.
“Our sisters, Rose and Lily,” Violet said, emphasizing the our .
His mom’s mouth was open. “I don’t know if I can take much more. So your dad was Frank?”
Violet nodded.
“Is he…?”
“He passed away,” Violet said, smiling sadly.
“I looked for years. I swear.” His mom shook her head in disbelief. “But then I fell in love and it all seemed to have worked out okay.”
“Holy clover, I’m just so excited to officially meet you,” Violet said happily. “Can I give you a hug?”
His mom blinked in surprise as she was enveloped by Violet’s crushing hug.
“You’ll get used to the hugging,” Reed said with a warm laugh.
Violet was beaming. “I heard you love plants.”
“Uh, yes,” his mom said.
“Excellent. I can’t wait to talk to you about it over the Berry-Parker family breakfast,” Violet said with excitement. They’d brainstormed last night on how to make it possible for him to go to Canon’s Diner with the rest of the family.
“You’re not mad?” he said finally to his parents.
“You pretended that whole time to like architecture for me?” his dad said softly.
“It’s just how much I loved you,” Reed said, adjusting his glasses and feeling embarrassed.
“Oh.” His dad pulled him into a hug. “I’m sorry you felt like you had to pretend.”
He wanted to replay that again and again in his head.
“Want to give me a tour of the building?” his dad said with a smile.
“Can I take a rain check? I have someplace I have to go. In fact, everyone needs to check out in the next five minutes,” he called to the whole store.
“Here, I got it,” Violet said. “I can close up.”
“You sure?”
“I’m always sure when a grand romantic gesture is involved.” She caught the keys to the store as he tossed them.
“Thanks. Having a sister’s pretty great.”
“It’s just so I can butter you up for a kidney later!” she yelled with a smile.
It was time to go be a better man.