Chapter 3 Greyson
Chapter three
Greyson
You left her with the crazy one!?
“Get your head out of your ass, Ford, and focus!” Silas, our team captain for the New York Griffins, calls out as he skates by me.
Yeah, focus. Easy for you to say! Your life isn’t the one that’s been turned upside down for the past two weeks.
That’s not entirely fair of me to say, though.
Silas had it pretty rough for a while last year with his wife, Cecilia.
I now understand better why it was so hard for him to play a good game during that time.
Because for the last two weeks, my plays have been shit.
I’m sleep deprived and in a constant state of worry.
I fucking hate this.
Two weeks ago, I got the biggest, most unexpected news of my life. I was a father to a little girl. A six-month-old baby named Gracie.
When I received the call from Child Protective Services at the Hayes’ house during Dante’s ten-month celebration, telling me that they had a child in their care who they believed was mine, I nearly passed out.
They needed me to come down to their office to fill out forms and get a paternity test done. And when the test came back with a perfect match, I was walking out of there with a child I had no idea existed.
A child I still don’t have a clue how to take care of.
Thank God for Cecilia and Silas, who had just gone through all the stages of a baby. They’ve been helping me as much as possible, along with my baby sister, Aubrey, who babysits whenever she can between classes at NYU.
I’m so grateful to everyone for helping, but it’s not their job.
It’s mine. I’m just struggling to do it all with hockey and how much it consumes in my life.
It’s really not an ideal career for raising a baby on your own.
But I can’t give up hockey; it’s been my dream for so long.
I just need to figure out a solution to my problem and stop being so picky with hiring a nanny.
For now, it’s been working out pretty decently since Aubrey still lives with me. She moved in two years ago from Toronto, where we grew up. But she’s moving out at the end of the week, so starting next week I’ll truly and utterly be on my own with Gracie.
The thought terrifies me. Not that I don’t trust myself to raise my daughter alone; I do. But I’m still struggling to do it. I still have a hard time with nighttime feeding and her routine. Every time I think I’m getting the hang of it, something new happens and I freak out.
It doesn’t help that Gracie’s been fussy ever since I took her in. She might be a baby, but losing a mother will affect even the strongest of us.
I didn’t know her mom; she was just some one-night stand after an emotional evening. I didn’t know her name, hell, I didn’t even remember what she looked like. Not until I picked up my daughter and had all the information handed to me.
Apparently, Gracie’s mother had been struggling mentally since getting pregnant but thought it would fade after having the baby. Only it didn’t. She ended up leaving Gracie with her best friend, claiming she had errands to run, then went back home and committed suicide.
When I found all that out, I felt even more like a piece of shit. Maybe her depression started because of me, because she found out she was pregnant and couldn’t get to me. Then she was all alone, trying to raise our daughter.
Maybe if I had been there during the pregnancy, or at least once Gracie was born, things would have been different for her. I’m just thankful she cared enough about her child to leave a letter in the diaper bag, stating I was the father and should have the chance to raise my daughter.
My life took a major turn that day. One minute, I was a single bachelor living his best life. The next, I was a single dad running around and losing sleep. Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter. I loved her the moment she looked up at me with the same identical eyes as mine.
I didn’t need a paternity test to tell me she was my child. Looking at her was like looking at pictures of Aubrey when she was a baby. With that ashy-blonde hair, pale brown eyes, and freckles dotting over the bridge of her tiny little upturned nose and cheeks, she was definitely mine.
I look over to where Coach is, hoping to catch a glimpse of my baby girl, but stop mid-skate when I notice he no longer has the baby carrier on. I look behind him to where the stroller should be, but it’s also gone.
Panic rushes through my veins as I speed skate over to Coach Jefferson, stepping off the ice and looking behind the boards. “Where is she?! Where’s Gracie?” I ask with fear in my voice.
“Relax, Ford. Emma offered to watch her while we finished up here. She took her for a stroll,” Coach says, brushing me off.
Relax? Relax!?
“Emma? You left my daughter with Emma Mackenzie?! She’s crazy! She’s probably off giving Gracie a—” My words die on my tongue as I hear a cheerful squeal to my left.
I look over and find my daughter in Emma’s extended arms as she makes her fly through the air. Gracie shrieks with excitement every time Emma zigzags from side to side, changing her trajectory, the stroller sitting at the end of the hall behind them.
“What were you saying?” Coach smirks with a chuckle.
I don’t bother replying because my daughter is laughing. She’s laughing. I’ve never heard her laugh…
Something constricts in my chest as I massage the spot with my gloved fist, willing it to go away. I don’t dare move, afraid to break the beautiful spell happening before my eyes.
Coach sighs heavily beside me. “Go, we’re almost done here, anyway. Locker room for team meeting in ten, though.” He taps me on the shoulder, then turns back to the ice.
I march over in my skates to where Gracie and Emma are. When Emma sees me coming, she stops her amusements and brings my daughter down to her hip.
When I’m within reach, I remove my glove and swipe my thumb tenderly over Gracie’s cheek. “Hi, baby. You having fun?” I ask softly despite my gravelly voice.
“I offered to watch her for Shane while you guys finish up. I thought she’d be less fussy moving around rather than staying in one spot. I hope her dad won’t mind,” Emma says as she bounces Gracie.
“It’s fine. As long as she’s not too much to handle for you.”
“Oh, no. Little Tulip is a ray of sunshine.” She smiles down at my daughter.
“Tulip?” I frown at the name. She does know her name is Gracie, right?
“It’s just a silly little name. She reminds me of a pretty little tulip. A bit shy and closed off at first, but then blooms into a beautiful flower when you give her the chance.”
Well, shit. She spends a few minutes with my daughter and already knows her better than I do… I really suck at this parenting thing.
Gracie reaches for me from Emma’s arms at that moment. “No, baby. Daddy’s all dirty right now and doesn’t want to get you all stinky. But I’ll take you real soon, okay?” I lower myself to be closer to her and lay a kiss on her forehead.
When I straighten to my full height, Emma stares at me with wide eyes, mouth gaping. “She’s… she’s yours?” She looks absolutely shocked at the idea that I may have a kid. I get it, I’m still shocked.
“Yeah.”
She blinks a few times, still looking astounded. “Wow… when did that happen?”
I sigh, hating this question but understanding that people are curious and just trying to figure out how I ended up with a kid out of nowhere. “It’s a long story, but since two weeks ago.” I grab the back of my neck, feeling uncomfortable.
“Oh… well, congratulations. She’s adorable.” She looks down at Gracie and pinches her cheek lightly. “Aren’t you the cutest little thing? Yes, you are! Yes, you are! I just want to snuggle you up and kiss you forever!”
I roll my eyes as she talks to my child in that baby way that I hate, but then Gracie shrieks with laughter once more. Huh… I didn’t know she was good with kids. Maybe I can use this to my advantage.
“Mackenzie?” a voice calls from behind me, and Emma looks up as something flashes in her eyes, but I don’t recognize it right away. It’s like her body is suddenly flooded with embarrassment and guilt. That’s what it is… pain.
“Emma! What are you doing here? Jesus, we haven’t heard from you in forever!” Silas comes up to her and takes her into a side hug since she’s still holding my girl.
She pushes him away and scrunches her nose. “Holy balls! You smell horrible!” She side-eyes my daughter quickly. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the word she was going to use, but I appreciate her not cursing in front of Gracie. It’s been one hell of an adjustment.
Silas laughs and takes off his helmet, then scratches his head. “Where have you been, Em? We’ve all been worried about you.”
She snorts, but it sounds entirely forced. “I’m a big girl, Hayes, no need to worry about me. I’ve just been… dealing with some stuff.”
“What kind of stuff? What’s going on? Talk to me.” Silas places his hand on her bicep, giving a little squeeze to encourage her to go on. I probably shouldn’t be here for this conversation, but I also want to hear what she has to say.
Emma makes a strange face the moment Silas touches her arm and glances at his hand quickly before wiping the look away and clearing her throat. “It’s over with Tommy.”
“Shit… I’m sorry, Em.” No, he’s not. None of us could stand that guy.
“Don’t be.” She flips her hair back and laughs, but again, it sounds forced. “That breakup was long overdue.”
“Oh, okay.” Silas frowns slightly at how easily she’s dismissing her relationship of two years. “Well, where are you staying now? Weren’t you living with him?”
“I’m staying in a hotel until I find something worth buying.”
“What? That’s nonsense. Come stay with us. Minnie will be thrilled to have you around again.”
“No, Silas. I can’t…” She sighs and looks away, showing her first sign of real emotion.
“I owe such a big explanation to Cecilia, and I’m just not ready yet.
I have to sort through some stuff first before I face her.
I know it seems selfish of me, but I owe her that much…
” She looks down and smiles sadly at Gracie, who rests her head against the side of her chest, about to doze off.
Silas’s shoulders drop as he internally battles what to do. He knows his wife would want Emma with them, but he also wants to support Em in her decision to need time.
An idea forms in my head as I watch Emma with my daughter, who seems to adore her newfound friend.
“Stay with me,” I blurt out, causing a look of surprise on both their faces. Silas’s brows pull down while Emma's eyes widen.
“What?” she asks.
“I need someone to watch over Gracie when I can’t be there. You’re not working, right?”
“Umm… no, not at the moment.” She looks from Silas to me.
“Then it’s settled. You’ll stay with me and watch over Gracie when I have engagements related to hockey.
You seem to know your way around kids from what I saw, and I’ll pay you for your time.
” I nod, agreeing with my own decision. This should be fine.
I just need to find a way to deal with Emma’s intense personality.
“I… are you sure?” She seems hesitant. Not surprising. Emma and I aren’t the closest when it comes to our group of friends. We tolerate each other, but she tends to get on my nerves easily.
“Yup, it’s the best solution for both of us. Gives you a place to stay instead of some hotel until you find something you like, and gives me more time to look for a nanny without worrying about Gracie.”
Silas eyes me inquisitively. He knows about my distaste toward Emma. He probably thinks I’ve lost it. Not yet, bud, but I’m pretty close.
“Okay then! Yes, I accept your offer.” She slips on a bright smile and throws her hand my way, waiting on a handshake like we’re signing a contract.
Jesus, this girl gives me a headache. She and her miss sunshine, all happy-go-lucky personality. What have I gotten myself into?
I take her hand and give it a quick, firm shake. Silas looks at the both of us, unsure what to do. Finally, he just shrugs and turns back to Emma. “If you ever change your mind, you come to us. Cecilia would be more than happy to have you over. You know that.”
“I know… And thank you, Silas, but I’ll be fine. I’ll reach out soon, I promise.” She gives him a tender smile.
“We gotta get to the locker room, but we should be done soon. Just wait around, and then you’ll follow me back to my place, unless you need to pick stuff up at your hotel room first?” I ask.
“Nope, everything’s in my car outside.”
“Good.” I lower to kiss the top of my sleeping daughter's head and walk away, ending the conversation there.
Silas joins my side within seconds. “You okay with this?”
I sigh deeply. “Not like I really have a choice.”