Chapter 4 Emma #2
I jump up from the bed and skip over to him with enthusiasm, doing a little twirl on the way just to get a reaction out of him. I need to stop pushing his buttons… but it’s so fun! “Yes, sir,” I say as I pass him and head down to comfort my Little Tulip.
One hour later, I’ve fed Gracie and changed her diaper and outfit. She’s now dressed in a bright yellow onesie with white tights and a sparkly yellow tutu. Greyson’s going to hate it. Totally worth it.
I’m just finishing putting Gracie’s pale blonde hair into two tiny little pigtails above her head when Greyson walks back in with the last item from my car.
My special mug. I get up from my spot on the floor, leaving Little Tulip in her sit-me-up chair, and walk over to Greyson as he inspects the cloth-covered item in his hands.
Taking it from him, I bring it over to the kitchen island and unwrap it carefully. Please, don’t be broken. Please, don’t be broken… I take the last layer off and hold it up in the air, examining every angle. Phew! Perfect condition. Well, minus the little chip on the top. But no one needs to know.
“What the hell is that?” Greyson looks on with disgust.
“My special mug. Don’t touch it.”
“I wouldn’t touch that thing even if you offered. It’s hideous.”
I gasp loudly. “Maybe to you, but she’s perfect to me.
No need to hurt her feelings.” I walk my cup over to the cabinets, rubbing my thumb back and forth over the bumpy surface.
“Don’t listen to him, he’s just jealous he doesn’t have a special mug like you.
” Then I place my sunflower mug up on the shelf.
“Holy shit, she’s even crazier than I thought,” he mutters under his breath, but I still manage to hear him and roll my eyes.
Gracie begins to fuss in her seat, throwing the toys I had left her on the floor.
Greyson heads over to his daughter and scoops her up, then looks at her outfit before turning to me with Gracie facing forward in his outstretched hands as he frowns.
“You’re going to make me regret this deal, aren’t you? ”
I giggle and take Little Tulip from his hands. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
I stand in my room with a towel wrapped around my body, having just come out of the shower. Greyson was just putting Gracie to bed when I called it a night, telling him I was tired, and retreated to my bedroom.
The truth is, I’m not really tired, but after all the smiling and faking my life is perfect for the past few hours in front of him, I needed a moment to myself. A moment where I don’t have to pretend so much. Because as much as I want to act like I’m okay with my breakup, I’m not entirely.
It’s not about Tommy. I’m not hung up on him now that I’ve taken the last twenty-four hours to see him for who he really was all along.
It’s just everything around it that’s still weighing me down.
Realizing how much I changed into a version of myself I don’t like just to please him.
How I let him treat me like shit repeatedly even though I knew it was wrong.
How I let him control me and my life, decide who I was allowed to hang out with or not.
And then there’s that nagging stupid voice inside my head that keeps wondering if maybe I really am the problem.
I mean, I have no doubt that Tommy is just a cheating asshole who’s unfaithful to every woman he dates.
But when I look back on my past relationships, which usually only consist of hookups because they never lead to anything more, I can’t help myself from questioning if maybe I’m too much to handle.
Or maybe I’m just not enough for someone to choose…
As much as I hate to admit it, I think it’s why I latched on so hard to Tommy and did everything possible to make our relationship work.
He was my first serious relationship, and even though I’ve always acted like I wasn’t into the whole commitment thing, my heart fell for the fact that someone had finally chosen me first. That someone actually wanted me, and possibly forever.
But I should have known better...
Not even my own parents ever put me first, so why would a man who owes me nothing?
Standing in front of the tall mirror along the wall, I glide my fingers through my damp hair, looking over my features. The shape of my eyes and brows, the length of my eyelashes, the size of my nose and lips, how defined my cheekbones are, and my chin.
I move my gaze down to my neck, then the top portion of my breasts, wondering if maybe they’re too small or if one is bigger than the other. Turning from one side to the other, I look over my curves, questioning if maybe something about them makes me unappealing.
I hate these thoughts. I hate these insecurities. I never used to be like this. I used to love myself—love my body—and deep down, I know I still do. But that nasty voice won’t shut up, won’t stop making me doubt myself, and won’t stop making me feel like something about me isn’t right.
I swallow past the lump forming in my throat as my eyes trail over my arms, specifically to my biceps, where deep purple marks now reside.
I knew at that moment that Tommy was holding onto me too hard.
I could feel the pain of his grip through my coat.
But I didn’t realize just how bad it was until I saw them last night in the hotel bathroom.
Although at that time they were still red and didn’t look as horrible as they do now that they’ve fully bruised.
Tears well in my eyes as I bring my fingers up to the sore skin, softly caressing over the marks on my right arm.
I’ve been popping painkillers all day to try and ignore the pain in my arms, but I’ll need to figure out some way to get rid of the soreness faster.
Carrying a baby with pain like that shooting up your arms constantly is no fun.
How can someone who claims to love you hurt you in such a way?
But the truth is, Tommy never loved me. I was simply a prized possession to him. The daughter of a wealthy man. A way to climb the ladder in his career thanks to dating the boss’s daughter. Nothing more. I see that now.
It was never about me…
There’s a soft knock at the door right as it begins to open, and Greyson pops his head in. “Hey, I was just checking to make sure you didn’t need anything before heading in for the night.”
“No, I’m fine. Thank you.” I offer him a smile and move my hand from my arm, holding on to the towel instead.
I’m not embarrassed to be standing in only a towel in front of him; being naked in front of men has never been something that makes me uncomfortable. But I’d rather not do it on purpose to make things awkward between us either, and an accidentally dropped towel would definitely do that.
He begins to nod, but then a deep frown sets along his brows as he pushes the door open and strides in before I have time to understand what’s happening.
I stare at him with wide eyes as he grabs my elbow roughly and slightly lifts my arm, causing me to wince.
Guess I’m due for one last dose of pain meds before bed.
His eyes snap up to mine instantly with a look of rage in them. “What the fuck is that?!”
“It’s nothing. I’m fine.” I pull my elbow out of his grasp and step back.
“That’s not fucking nothing, Emma!” He quickly looks at my other arm, finding an identical bruise on that one. “Jesus Christ! What did he do to you?!”
“I said it’s nothing. It’s no big deal, just drop it.”
“Drop it!? Do you realize how hard you need to hold someone to make them bruise like that?!” he barks out harshly as I fold my arms over my chest, feeling even more vulnerable than I was seconds ago.
Greyson moves back a step and passes a hand through his hair. “Give me his address.”
“What?” I frown. “Why?”
“Because I’m going to go beat the living shit out of him while you stay here with Gracie,” he says matter-of-factly.
“What?! Absolutely not!” I blink in disbelief.
Would he seriously go beat up someone just for hurting a girl he doesn’t even like?
That can’t be. “You’re overreacting, Greyson.
I promise, I’m fine. Tommy and I just got into a heated argument, and he got a bit handsy, but that’s it.
I left right after. Besides, I got my payback already. ”
“You sliced the tires of his car?”
“Shit, I should have done that too before leaving the firm,” I mutter under my breath as Greyson snorts.
“But no, I did something better.” I smirk and walk over to the nightstand, picking up my phone and accessing my voicemails.
I tap into the only one I saved while coming back to Grey and put it on speakerphone as I start it.
He frowns at first, not understanding what’s going on. But the instant Tommy mentions climbing through a window and then proceeds to fall out of it on the other side, his eyes widen. “What did you do to the door for him to have to get in by the window?”
“I broke the key inside the hole.” I smile smugly.
He shakes his head and makes that snorting sound again, the tiniest hint of a smile appearing before it vanishes. He continues to listen to the voicemail as Tommy curses me in every way possible and screams about his wall and his TV.
“And I wrote ‘you’re a lousy fuck’ on his wall with a heel and smashed the other in his precious television,” I tell him while trying to hold in my laugh. Now that I’ve calmed down, I have to admit it was not one of my finest moments.
“You did not?” he asks in disbelief.
“I very much did so,” I tell him proudly.
“Jesus, you truly are crazy,” he mumbles.
I frown instantly. “Hey! What happened to our truce?”
“Right, sorry.” He clears his throat as I stop the voicemail and drop my phone on the bed. “Do you want to talk about what happened? Why you two got in an argument?” His voice drops in a way I’ve never heard before, almost sounding delicate.
I sigh and sit down on the end of the bed while he stays standing next to me.
“Not really…” I admit. “Tommy cheated on me, and I lost my shit.” I shrug, trying to play it off.
“Or went crazy on him, as you’d call it.
” A smirk plays on my lips as I look up at him and see that twitching lip once more.
“He’s an idiot,” Greyson says in a way that seems genuine.
“Most likely. But maybe he’s not the only one to blame for my failed relationship.” I look down at my hands, hating these thoughts still swimming through my mind, hating that I’m being vulnerable in front of Greyson out of all people. I don’t like this. This isn’t me.
“I mean, let’s be real, Greyson. I’m a lot. If anyone can admit to that, it’s you.” I laugh while peeking, knowing he’s most likely agreeing with me in his mind. My shoulders drop as my smile falls, and I look away. “I probably just turned out to be more than he thought he could handle.”
“What the fuck are you even saying?” He glares at me like my words have personally insulted him.
“Him being a cheating ass has absolutely nothing to do with you. Sure, your personality is a bit on the extreme side at times, but if the guy was miserable, he could have just left you. Being unfaithful was his choice and his fault. Don’t fucking blame yourself for his shitty actions.
” His tone turns aggressive, and my eyes widen bigger with each word.
“You’re better than that,” he adds quietly after a few seconds, that softness from earlier coming back.
“Okay,” I whisper, not sure what else to say to all of that.
I know what he’s saying is right and that I shouldn’t blame or question myself about everything Tommy did.
But when you were raised by a woman who constantly made you feel like you weren’t good enough and then spent two years with a man who thought everything you did was wrong, it becomes hard to get those nagging negative voices to shut up.
We’re quiet for a moment as his eyes roam over my bruises once more, a displeased look playing on his features. “Do you need anything for that? I have pain relievers in my bathroom, and applying some ice could help too.”
“No, I’m okay, Greyson, really.” I place my hand on his wrist, trying to reassure him. “I was just about to take another dose of meds to help, but I’m fine. No need to worry.”
He nods slowly, his gaze inspecting my features closely. “If you say so.”
“I do. You can go to bed now.” I smile brightly, hoping he buys that I’m okay and leaves.
Another nod. “Okay. Night.”
“Goodnight,” I say as he heads for the door, looking back once before finally leaving and shutting it behind him.
Well, this was different… I’ve never seen whatever this side of Greyson was, and if I’m being honest, I don’t hate it. I could see us getting along instead of always getting on each other’s nerves.