47. Emilio
Istruggle not to let the pain show as I follow in Master’s wake. Snitch. Antonio’s insult digs into my head. These are my Brothers… The ones I’ve relied on. The ones who were there for me when everything fell apart.
Yet, do they really care about me? I thought they loved Master, and now I see they don’t. They may have followed us when we had to break away, but was it merely convenient for them? A way to get ahead? Are they like my biological brother, Cliff, and I was merely a tool to be used?
I guess it shouldn’t surprise me. If my own brother can toss me to a mafia Boss to clear a debt, those I bonded with could turn on me as well. I just thought we were all in this together. Strong. But maybe I misjudged them…or myself and my worthiness to others.
When Master walks into Cristian’s room, my shoulders drop further. I feel lost…unmoored. Maybe even forgotten, though I know that’s fucked up.
Still, I remind myself that I get to help out with Atticus. Fury is fun. I didn’t even know bunnies could be sassy, but her personality is almost as big as Atticus’s.
I walk quietly the rest of the way to Atticus’s office. At least, I hope that’s where he’ll be. Otherwise, I’ll need to backtrack to where the empire’s rooms are. Thankfully, when I knock on the door, he calls for me to enter.
I slip in, my smile strained as I say, “Javi mentioned you needed help, Sir?”
“I mainly wanted to talk to you a bit, and I wanted to see if you’d like to brush Fury again. She needs it done, and really enjoyed your attention last time.”
I nod somewhat frantically before immediately sitting on the floor. It doesn’t take long for Fury to situate herself, like a queen, and prepare for being pampered. I focus on my task so intently, I don’t even realize Atticus has moved closer.
“You seemed bothered when you came in.”
It’s a simple statement, and it's certainly the truth, but…it irritates me. I’d rather just sit and brush Fury quietly. Still, I know these are Javi’s therapists, and I respect Anderson too much to be impolite to one of his co-workers.
Shrugging one shoulder, I reply, “We were having a…meeting, I guess? It didn’t go well.”
“What was it about?” Atticus’s curiosity as he sits down instead of looming over me at least lets me breathe easier.
“We had a meeting to do an update on policies, etc. However, it came up that Master is also Daddy’s Boy.
” Scrunching my nose, I wonder if Atticus is familiar with all the dynamics in the household, so I clarify, “Um, so, Allesandro is Tennant’s Boy.
Anyway, after the meeting broke up, the original Martelli Family gathered—minus Keegan, because Doms aren’t always fun with gossip, and Luca because he’s not here. ”
“And it didn’t go well?”
I scowl, frustration filling me, before shaking my head.
“No. The other Boys—my Brothers—destroyed Master. It wasn’t about him being a Boy, really.
But the fact he goes by Sandro. They can’t accept him anymore.
It’s like they want him to be his old self, which is so stupid!
I mean, all of them were angry at him before, and now they’ve processed that, they feel like he should just be able to, what? Snap his fingers and be fixed?”
Disgust fills me, and sorrow. For both Master and myself. The Boys were cruel. It’s not what I imagined from this family.
Master has done so much for us. Not just before, when he helped us find our place, but afterward, when he made amends. Now, he finally has a chance to be free, and they what? Cast him aside?
It’s what makes me question whether they even value me. If they can throw him out… Well, maybe it’s just a shock. I can hope, at least. I focus on Fury, trying to use Anderson’s instructions to calm my mind, to redirect the negative self-talk that became my go-to.
Atticus makes a noise, drawing my attention away from my chaotic thoughts. It’s like a humming sound, though non-committal. It’s comforting somehow, which is weird.
“And you? Do you struggle having someone who is a ‘Papa Bear’ and also a Boy?”
I smile gently, loving that he already knows my name for Master when he goes into his Daddy routine. I laugh quietly, trying not to disturb Fury, who, now that the brushing is done, has decided my lap is her rightful place in this world.
I look directly at Atticus, not ashamed or worried, as I retort, “Why would it? When Master found out I was interested in a Daddy/Boy relationship, he spent hours researching it. Even going so far as to build me a nursery, though I hadn’t planned on age play being part of it.
“How does the fact he finds comfort in being Tennant’s Boy affect me in any way except to make him a better Dom?
Kinks change, you realize that, right? If not, Ian would be good to talk to.
Not to mention, there’s a whole world of switches and others I’m not overly familiar with.
That’s the great thing about kink. It’s not one size fits all. It’s…personal.
“And Daddy is a Super Daddy. A feels whisperer. My Master deserves that, the same way I’m beginning to understand I do as well.”
“I agree wholeheartedly. I just find it is easier to ask others their thoughts first.” Atticus’s words put me at ease, which is good.
I didn’t want to have to hurt Fury’s Daddy.
He hesitates for a moment before asking, “And the part about his name? Since the Boys seem to be struggling with that? How do you feel?”
Sighing, I focus the turbulence of my mind, trying to find words that will make sense—somehow.
“It’s what Master is comfortable with, and I think it’s rude to not call someone by what they ask.
It’s respect—and love. I thought we had that from the Martelli family.
After all, that’s where I learned respect and love the first time.
“I know I’m lucky. I still get to call him Master.
I can’t imagine not having that. I tried and…
it didn’t go well. I can’t say I believe that there’s only one person out there who can be your soulmate, because I am lucky to have many who help fill that role for me.
But…Master gives me something the others can’t.
I wouldn’t be able to breathe without him, much like if I lost any of the other men in my life. ”
I stare at the scars on my wrists. They're less pronounced now, but still a sign of the battle that still ravages inside me some days. However, like Anderson points out to me… It’s also a sign of what I’ve fought and won. Because I could have lost, and fuck if that wouldn’t have been a travesty.
I shake my head, frustrated with the way my mind keeps wandering. I think it’s part of Javi’s empire’s sorcery, though. They are all too good at drawing emotions to the forefront, even when it means my mind gets as jumbled as what’s inside me.
“Sorry, my mind is so scattered. I guess…maybe they don’t know what he’s been through?
I know it sounds like I’m making excuses, but that’s the only thing I can think of to explain why they’re being so selfish.
I only know some, and it’s because Master has helped me with my own issues, and he’s talked a bit about his past within that context.
Healing takes time, like Javi says. He’s super smart, and the Boys just… don’t get it.
“This is Master’s chance to be free. If I have kids, I’m not going to force them to follow in my footsteps with the Council.
I think that sets a bad precedent. Roman is great, but he had supportive dads.
Master’s parents… If they were still alive, I’d kill them myself for what they put him through.
All to, what? Make him Il Padrone? To fit into the legacy they feel he should be? Ridiculous.
“Right now, he’s learning about himself. And if that means he takes a step back, that’s what he needs. Because I know he’s still Il Padrone…still Allesandro. But he needs time to get that back. And not be rushed.
“There’s a reason Doc didn’t let Roman and I go back to work after what we went through, and we’re talking years and years of abuse for Master. His entire life. So my Brothers are being selfish, and I highly disagree with anyone who thinks he should have life all figured out by now.”
Scowling, I try not to let the hurt and anger get to me, but fuck. No wonder Master used to punish those who misbehaved. I love my Brothers, but dammit. They’ve probably set Master back, when he’s innocent. He made amends, and he’s actively working on himself.
Atticus chuckles, and my head whips toward him. I glare, because nothing is funny about this. Only Fury’s movement distracts me from grabbing my knife. She must be able to tell I’m getting upset. I shift uncomfortably, petting her, though it’s more to distract myself than anything.
“I wasn’t laughing at what happened,” Atticus states firmly.
I flick my eyes toward him, but I’m not willing to soften just at that.
“Look, I’m sincerely glad he has you to take up arms for him.
He needs that. Part of the reason I’m asking these questions is not only to check on you personally, but because I’m going to be one of his therapists.
Having information is useful to me, and I like for my patients’ support network to be involved in their care. ”
Huffing, I don’t comment. I’m not thrilled that he asked me questions without telling me his intentions. Then again, I can’t exactly disagree with ethically questionable methods when I’m usually on the wrong side of morality.
“I think your Brothers will come around. Keep in mind, just like healing takes time, so does processing. To them, they’re going through grief.
They lost someone who shaped a major part of them, who helped provide them a guiding light and a lifeline.
Keep the conversation open between you all, but there’s nothing wrong with stepping in to protect someone who belongs to you. ”
With that, it clicks into place. The need to protect him.
And hell, the others in my life. Perhaps that’s why the Boys struggle.
They’re used to being the one protected in many ways, and while Master always gave me protection, he taught me to be a protector.
He gave me the nickname Death because he saw the potential inside me.
And for that? How else could I ever repay his love than giving him the time and space to heal?
“He’s a lucky man… So are the others who have your heart,” Atticus murmurs, quiet enough that I’m not sure if I actually hear it right.
He makes a clicking sound and Fury immediately bounces away, going back to her Daddy. I want to pout, but I force myself to smile instead. “Thank you for letting me brush her.”
“Anytime, Pepita. I suppose I should get some work done now, though.”
With that dismissal, I stand and head out with a wave. I figure I may be able to catch Roman, and we can sneakily continue looking at real estate. We need a much larger location… Especially since I don’t plan on letting Javi go after we get better. Or Anderson…
I get about halfway to where I suspect Roman is when I come to a stop, my brain suddenly latching onto the last part of what Atticus said. Did he just call me a pumpkin seed?
Oh, God. I need more caffeine for this. I wonder if this is a tell Daddy thing or not… Coffee first. Then contemplate feels.