51. Sandro
Control. It slipped through my fingers. And the moment I let go, the world around me imploded.
Sitting in my room, I bury my face in my hands.
I shudder as the thoughts overtake me, preying on me, reminding me…
of things best left alone. Yet here, when I’m alone, it’s the perfect time to torture me.
Because fuck if I’ll be allowed any rest—not that I deserve it.
I'd been taught to keep a firm hand on the chaos around me. To bring the men to heel. To force myself into the bonds of misery that my family created, honed purely for their legacy. A reputation of coldness.
I tried to temper it. To offer my own loyalty back to those who surrounded me. It worked...for a while. Then when I was ripped away, I waited to be rescued, planning my revenge. Only to come back to bedlam.
It surrounded me. Suffocated me. In a desperate bid to regain that control, I tried to force what wasn't mine to force. And it burned... All of it burned to ashes. My very soul razed to the ground, and my legacy...gone.
But I fought back. Each step was a success, no matter how small. I made amends. Tried to change. To be someone who those around me would accept, because my own mind continued to rebel, my soul shaken and tormented by the memories of the past.
I was lost. And I found love. Many times over. I made new connections, and renewed the old.
And yet...here I am. Bitterly cold again. Stuck with nothing but shadowy memories. How can I give everything and still be found wanting? What is left of myself to give? I'd sacrifice more if I had it, but there's nothing left inside. No blood can be taken from stone.
I'm wrung out. A failure. A Master no more.
"I can see the thoughts dancing across your face."
I jolt. My head turns and I watch Hollis stalk into my room. I was so lost in thought, I didn't even hear him... The closing of the door echoes like a shot in the dark. And I’m left breathless as I wait. For what? I have no clue.
Shame chokes me. I don't have any words to give. A hysterical bubble of laughter is suddenly stuck in my throat as emotions swamp me. Pushing me, twisting me. As unforgivable as always.
I almost hope Hollis has come to the realization that I'm not worthy of being a Partner... I'm not worthy of anything. If only so I can be left alone with the shadows...
Smack.
The crack of his hand against my cheek has me biting back a growl, pissed that he refuses to let me give in. His taunting sneer pushes me closer to the former version of myself, challenging me in a way I still struggle to control. It's not safe. Not for him. Not for me.
"You're pushing it," I hiss, the cracks inside me widening.
"Good. Because we're Partners. You're not allowed to wallow."
I shove myself up, finding my feet steady, despite the turmoil inside my mind, my heart, and even my weary soul.
Hollis and I are evenly matched, particularly since I still haven't fully regained my strength. But if he wants to play this game… I’ll come out the victor.
"No!" I suddenly roar, stepping away as I tremble, swamped by the nausea of almost crossing yet another unforgivable line. I hold out my palms, begging, "Please. Not now. I can't risk you. And I'm not safe... Not right now."
His calm stare doesn't waver, and the unspoken challenge lingers between us. He hears the words inside my head, the cry from inside. I see it pass, a mere flicker of emotions playing across his face. He says I’m easy to read, but fuck if he isn’t as well.
"You are safe, Sandro. I can see it in your eyes.
The terror. Your fear of showing dominance anymore.
Your Boys didn't accept your submissive side.
Fuck them. I'm sure they will figure out why they're wrong.
But you need to stop being afraid of your dominant side. You can't hide it any more than I can."
"I'm Lio's Master when he needs me."
Except we both hear the hesitation. The regret. And yes, the fucking horror.
Hollis growls, stomping his foot, and a surprised chuckle escapes me. It loosens the chokehold that's strangling me. Still, he doesn't back down.
"I'm going to prove to you that you're safe."
The air freezes in my lungs as he goes to his knees smoothly—more easily and beautifully than I thought was possible. My mind rebels at the sight, even as my heartbeat quickens and my soul revels in it.
"You don't submit. That's—"
Words freeze on my lips when he slowly lowers the zipper on my pants. He cocks his brow, and I breathe easier. It's play. He may be the one on his knees, but I'm at his mercy.
“No, Sandro. You will take control.”
I curse the way he can read me. My hands clench at my side as I struggle, as I fight against the Dominant inside me—the man I used to know.
"Why? Why would you do this?" My broken plea hangs in the air, but it's met with silence. Still, I refuse to move forward without an answer.
Hollis takes a deep breath and says, "You are my Partner. My equal. I see your pain. Your fear. It calls to me, much like my own demons do. And this? This is a way for you to face the truth.
"You're not evil. Not truly lost. You are worth it, Sandro. It doesn't matter what name you go by, what title you take. You have both sides of the coin in you. The duality. And you have the strength to embrace it.
"Don't choke your dominance in the hope that it dies. You're far better than that. So I'll submit. This time. Because you need it. You know I'm safe to approach. And regardless of what you—and others—perceive, I know you're safe as well. I trust you. Now...do you trust me?"
I don’t answer immediately, searching within myself first. My thoughts and my heart. And when the truth comes to me, it's a shock, yet it feels so right. “Yes. I trust you, Anima Gemella Mia.”
His growl is enough, reverberating between us both. Placing his palms on his thighs, he looks up at me. There’s a wild desperation that cuts me, spinning me out of control, and yet, I’ve never felt more in charge of myself than right now.
I run my fingers through Hollis’s hair, relishing the softness of the strands. The sensual tease. Then, taking a deep breath, I tighten my grip, guiding him to my crotch.
He doesn’t fight me, submitting in a way I didn’t know he could. It’s a wonder, a pleasure, and a fucking honor. All of it, twined together.
“Take me. Make me come, Anima Gemella Mia.”
Hollis pushes my pants and underwear down, his breath teasing me as it lightly gusts over my cock, which twitches in anticipation.
Fuck, I’m not sure I’ve ever gotten this turned on just by the sight of someone on his knees, before I’ve even been touched.
Yet I understand this gift, and I cherish it.
Placing his hands back on his thighs, he leans in, licking me slowly, teasing me as I become fully erect. Swallowing hard, my breaths are shallow in anticipation. Need courses through me, almost bringing me to my knees.
When his hot mouth engulfs me, I throw my head back and groan. Fuck. There’s no way I could prepare for this, for the sheer pleasure of his ministrations. My fingers flex, desperately gripping him.
Hollis doesn’t go fast. The slowness drives me crazy, edging me, pushing me until I have no choice—I snap. Using his hair, I pull him onto me, shuddering as he chokes. A broken moan escapes me as I start to use him, to thrust my hips forward as I pull him close.
My entire focus narrows. I chase my pleasure, because he submits to me. He offers himself to bend to my will. To give me this, to feed the dominant inside me. The man I no longer trusted…
Tears prick my eyes, and I struggle to hold them back. But fuck. The relief of who I used to be somehow peeking through… Somehow breaking the chains I placed there. All because of this man who chose me, who fucking submitted—despite having no reason to.
I watch his face carefully, making sure not to push him too far. Gnashing my teeth, I speed up, and he takes it so beautifully, even as I start to come undone. The bindings holding me together… I suddenly see them for what they are.
They’re a falsehood. A punishment. A lie. And when my orgasm takes over, when the pleasure crests, they break.
I sob, the tears flowing down my cheeks. Relief. Grief. All of it mixed together. Tinged with the sexual satisfaction that my dominant needs. Even if I lied about it for so long…
Hollis swirls his tongue around me, cleaning me before he pulls off.
He then kisses my softened dick before helping to pull up my underwear and pants.
I battle to keep the tears back, and my knees are weak from what just happened.
Still, I help him up, refusing to let him spend one more second on his knees for me.
I guide us over to my bed, where we both sit down, though I more collapse against it. I see the bulge in his pants and make a silent offer, but he shakes his head. “No, Caro. That was for you.”
I shudder, but let it go. While I want to give him pleasure, I respect his boundaries. And it proves something to me. Because I didn’t even hesitate on that.
His soft hand caresses my face before grabbing my chin roughly. His submission flees, and yet it feels so fucking right. When he stares at me, it’s like he can see everything, and he demands I speak the truth. That I won’t fail him, because he won’t let me.
I take a shuddering breath, letting peace fill me for the first time in a while. Slowly, his grip loosens, and I find the words imprinted on my heart, seared onto my soul. Words I never thought I’d say—or feel.
“You are my twin soul. Both of us have gone through the fire. I thought it had left me in ashes, but I watched you. It didn’t. I thought I was forged in coldness, but the fire? It strengthened me. It tempered me.”
Hollis’s eyes close briefly, and I wait, refusing to say anything else. When they open, his stare is steady, but no less demanding. When he speaks, each word shakes me, yet soothes me at the same time.
“Remember, when you—when we—falter, and we will, we have each other now. I’ll stand with you, if you’ll stand with me. Partners. Equals. Submit to each other when needed, lead each other, guide each other as we can.”
“Yes, Anima Gemella Mia,” I whisper, before kissing him gently, pouring my love into it. The sweetness of the kiss…it’s one I rarely share with anyone. Yet, the softness and hardness of both submission and dominance…the duality lives in us both, in ways I never expected.
When he pulls back on a sigh, I almost melt. But then those eyes capture mine, and the intensity leaves me quaking, as he demands, “Who are you?”
It's the same question I’ve been asked—again and again. By others. By myself. The one I had no answer for since I crossed the line, since I lost control. For once, my father’s voice is silent, as if Hollis’s mere presence is able to shield me from him.
“I am Sandro. But I am also Allesandro.” I shudder at the words, as the cracks in my soul heal, and the missing pieces click together.
“And what else?” He refuses to give me any mercy, commanding me flawlessly.
Tilting my head up, I don’t look away. I don’t waiver as I embrace this final part… The piece I thought was gone forever.
“I am Il Padrone. I may not lead the Martelli Family anymore, but my legacy lives on in the Boys. I may not be their Master anymore, but they will always be my cherished family of the heart—whether they accept me or not.”
The savage grin that graces Hollis’s face is tinged with pride, with approval, and I soar in ways I didn’t think was possible. Thanks to the twin soul, who sits opposite me.
Whatever comes next, I know we’ll face it together. We have our loves that surround us, but this time, I have a true partner, and fuck if that isn’t a gift I’ll always treasure…and protect. As I know he’ll protect me as well.