Chapter 12
Caitlyn kept checking the door to the kitchen, wondering what was taking Noah and Finn so long. Then, at the sound of footsteps coming from that direction, she couldn’t help glancing at it again. Finn finally came in with two pitchers, but it was another minute before Noah followed.
“Now that everyone’s here...” Sona said, arching a brow at her cousin.
Noah looked at Caitlyn, his expression guilty.
Why? Then she remembered how she’d left Finn and Zoe alone in the living room that morning.
A chill ran down Caitlyn’s spine. She didn’t want pity from them.
She glanced at her friend, but she was chatting with Max.
Surely Zoe wouldn’t have told Finn about the cancer.
Letting out a slow breath, Caitlyn dropped her gaze.
She shouldn’t be self-focused. That was something she’d hated most about being so sick.
It seemed like the world, both hers and her father’s, had revolved around her disease.
What she wanted was to lose herself in her love of creating music again, not to wonder how long she would be around to enjoy it.
“You aren’t the only ones who’ve been tasked with coming up with activities for our retreats,” Sona continued, pulling Caitlyn from her dark musings.
“That’s one reason we’ve come along for this retreat,” Kayn added. “Now, you know that each of you was specially nominated by your department heads.”
“You’re just trying to get me to move to headquarters.” Heath grimaced.
“Is it working?” Kayn asked, his expression hopeful.
“You know better, and we’ve already made a compromise.” Heath shook his head. “But I appreciate you value my work enough to want me to move to North Carolina.”
“Please don’t fault me for trying. We knew what your requirements were when we hired you.
” Kayn turned his attention to the others.
“While we’re sharing this simple meal, we want each of you to think about two things.
The first will probably be the hardest. You’ll have to come up with something you like about yourself. ”
Zoe groaned at the same time Caitlyn did.
“We women are so hard on ourselves,” Sona said, her expression sympathetic. “The second thing is, you have to share something nice about each person at the table.”
“Except you can skip me and my wife, since that would be considered brown-nosing.” Kayn winked. “For now, everyone enjoy your meal.”
Caitlyn ate better than she expected to because she focused her thoughts on what to say, rather than wondering about those guilty looks. Maybe she was reading more into them than she should. She was glad she’d been taking notes during the retreat, so she could report to Sona.
“Joe, perhaps you’ll bring in the dessert for us,” Sona said when they’d finished the meal.
“Ugh. I don’t think I can eat anymore,” Caitlyn groaned.
“Then it’s good these don’t take up a lot of room.” Sona stood as the bodyguard reentered the dining room carrying a tray of colorful domes, which appeared to have been cut in half. “We thought this would be a fun way to reward responses.”
“What are they?” Finn asked, wary.
“Oh, I’ve heard of these,” Max said. “They’re specialty bonbons.”
“So, ‘tis not a truffle?” Noah asked.
“No. There’s a difference. You’ll want to give at least one of these a try,” Joe added.
“But you have to earn it. I think we’ll begin with the ladies,” Kayn said. “We’ll start with Caitlyn and then Zoe.”
Caitlyn couldn’t help but glance at Noah. His expression still held no pity but rather an unexpected intensity, almost as though he were preparing to go into battle. She scanned the group at the table.
“I would rather get it out of the way. I’ll start with you, Noah. First though, I need to apologize in front of everyone for accusing you of name-dropping. You were only talking about your loved ones. Even if they’re important people, you have every right to do it. I was wrong.”
Noah looked about to speak, but Caitlyn raised her hands to stop him. She scanned the faces around the table.
“One thing I admire most about Noah is his positive attitude. We shared a class during his first semester. Despite sometimes getting rude comments about his accent and being Irish—which is a prejudice I hadn’t even realized was still a thing—he used humor as a deflection.
Over the last two years, I’ve seen him around both the university and REKD Gaming’s campuses.
His upbeat personality almost always wins the day.
If you think about it, he’s done the same thing here with us.
It’s an admirable quality.” Noah had ducked his head at her comments, his cheeks darkening.
“Now, Heath, we wondered at first if you were a ringer—”
“A what?” Finn asked with a frown.
“Someone pretending to be someone they’re not. Heath’s obviously more than a part-time employee working his way through college.” Caitlyn’s mouth twitched as she fought an embarrassed smile. “We thought you were a spy.”
“So, are you?” Finn asked Heath.
“It doesn’t matter,” Caitlyn added hurriedly. “He’s contributed significantly to our assignment.”
“Didn’t I tell you that’s what they would think when you brought me in?” Heath asked, sending Kayn an I-told-you-so glance. The man added nothing, just watched Caitlyn expectantly, so she continued.
“Finn, you’re a fantastic team player. You’re not afraid to speak up. Your arguments are sound, but you don’t hesitate to support the final decision even if you disagree with it.”
“Max, you must be one of the most pleasant people I’ve ever met,” Caitlyn said.
“If we were to give an award for Mr. Congeniality, I would nominate you. You have a joy for life that’s almost childlike—and I mean that in a good way.
What’s even better is that it’s contagious.
I think the disagreements yesterday over the botched movie-making activity would have been worse without you there. ”
Caitlyn let out a breath, shifted her gaze to Zoe, and said, “I can’t be emotionally removed when it comes to speaking of Zoe because she’s my dearest friend in the world. You’ve been a great team player, willing to do things you’re not comfortable with for the good of the effort.”
“Nicely done, Caitie.” The way Noah said her name gave Caitlyn a delicious thrill. It was almost like a caress. His nickname for her was quickly becoming her favorite word.
He said, “Zoe, you’re next.”
“I’ll start with Caitlyn,” Zoe said with a sniff as she wiped her eyes with her napkin.
“She’s the strongest woman I know. She’s faced so much in her twenty-one years.
If my mother had died of ovarian cancer when I was fifteen, I would have shriveled up, but not you.
And you were such a brick for your father and helped him with his own grief.
Then when you got the same diagnosis last year—”
At Caitlyn’s gasp, Zoe stopped. A ripple of understanding passed through the group. Zoe’s face blanched as she realized what she’d said.
Caitlyn looked down at her plate, feeling suddenly cold. She wished she’d put on a sweater. They all knew now. Would everyone look at her only as that girl with cancer?
And what about Noah?
Everyone had gone silent, and all she wanted to do was jump from the table and run to her room. But she couldn’t. She was a co-team leader and must behave professionally.
“It’s not public knowledge,” Caitlyn said, forcing back the tears which threatened, “so I would appreciate you all not sharing that information outside of this room. Zoe, you have four other people to do.”
I’m sorry, Zoe mouthed before she continued.
Caitlyn zoned it out. She’d worked so hard to keep quiet about her disease. Would they respect her wishes? Or would the information, like Keven’s lies, creep its way around work and school?
“Caitie,” Noah said softly, pulling her from her thoughts, “I don’t think you’ve been listening. ‘Tis a shame too. But now you have to say something nice about yourself.”
She took her time scanning the assembled group. Their expressions were as varied as the individuals who sat there, but she saw no pity. Maybe it was time to quit running.
“I guess what I like about myself the most is I’m a survivor,” Caitlyn said a little more fiercely than she’d intended.
She lowered her voice. “Contrary to what Zoe said, going through hard things doesn’t make me special.
Everyone goes through hard times. I’m sure there’s not a person in this room who hasn’t lost someone near and dear to them or faced tough challenges.
“And yet, look at us. We’re all still here despite how hard this kind of thing is for some of us—like Zoe, who suffers from almost crippling shyness.
Look at how she’s blossomed during this retreat.
And Heath, who left his wife and family for a week to be with us.
Or Finn and Noah—” Caitlyn’s voice hitched a little when she said his name.
“They also left their families and came clear across the ocean in pursuit of their dreams. I’m grateful I was recommended to come on this pre-retreat retreat and get to know you all better. ”
“Well,” Sona said, wiping her eyes, “I think we’ve all earned some bonbons.”
Caitlyn clenched her shaking hands and kept them in her lap. Maybe she could slip away after they washed the dishes. She wanted some alone time and needed to hear her father’s voice.