Chapter 23 - Margot #2
He cuts the engine and steps out without a word, then circles around to open my door. I attempt a neutral expression, but when I slide out of the car and stand in front of him, Ethan’s gaze locks on mine and I know I’ve failed.
His brow creases. “What is it?” he asks, voice low, coaxing.
I want to tell him it’s nothing, that I’m fine, but the words are lodged in my chest. Instead, I give a quick, nearly imperceptible shake of my head and force one side of my mouth into a dull smile.
“Margot?” Ethan’s tone is slightly more alarmed now, his eyes searching mine. “What’s wrong? Are you upset about what happened at the restaurant?”
“No, it’s not that,” I say slowly.
“Then what is it?”
Ethan continues studying my face. I feel his gaze even as I avert mine to the ground, trying to find the right words.
Honestly, the right words for the situation are probably no words at all.
It would be easier to plaster on a smile and carry on with our night.
None of this is new information. Ethan’s always been rich, charming, and desirable.
I’ve always been… well, me. Sort of plain, intensely reserved, and slightly dorky.
Nothing has changed. Yet, if feels like it has, and if we don’t talk about it, these feelings will fester like an open wound.
It might be easier to ignore it, but then it will never heal properly.
When I look back up at Ethan, he’s regarding me softly and patiently.
My chest rises and falls with a deep, steeling breath. “It’s just… hearing you talk about Juliette made me realize that I need to recalibrate my expectations.”
The crease between Ethan’s brows deepens, and the tiny trace of a smile on his lips flattens. “What do you mean?”
Immediately, I regret saying anything at all.
Having to explain to Ethan that I maybe kinda sorta let my hopes about him—about us—run a little wild makes me feel itchy and pathetic.
While my brain has always understood that this thing between us is unlikely to become serious or permanent, my heart has been clinging to any evidence to the contrary.
“I think I got too caught up in my own feelings,” I explain. “I let my expectations go unchecked. But that’s totally on me. You’ve been clear from the beginning that this isn’t a relationship.”
He takes a step closer, reaching for me. “Then what would you call it, Margot?”
“We aren’t labelling it, remember?”
“Hmm…” He pulls me close, humming an acknowledgement against my skin. Then he starts kissing my neck. I melt into him. “Let’s play a game,” he says between planting kisses on the curve of my shoulder. “I’ll give you a label and you tell me if it applies to us.”
“Okay…”
A kiss where my shoulder meets my neck.
“Co-workers.”
“Technically.”
Another kiss, slightly higher this time.
“Friends.”
“Obviously,” I smile, curling my toes in anticipation of the next kiss.
“Lovers.”
I cringe and laugh. “Sort of cheesy, but applicable.”
The next kiss lands right below my ear. I shiver as the cold evening air washes away the warmth of his lips. Then his mouth hovers by my ear, breath dancing along my skin.
“Girlfriend.”
My heart slams into my sternum and my breath catches.
The word sounds so foreign in Ethan’s voice.
It feels like something to be cherished—cozy, warm, and dreamy.
Like a childish doodle scribbled straight on my heart.
It’s sweeping pleasure and crushing pain all at once, wondering if Ethan is asking or teasing me.
He wouldn’t tease. Not about that…
Ethan North is many things, but he’s not careless with my heart (even if I’ve been a little careless with it myself lately).
Pulling back slightly, he cups my face, staring down at me to examine my reaction.
“Margot, if anyone needs to recalibrate their expectations, it’s me.
I know I asked for your time and patience, and you’ve given me more of both than I deserve.
I just need you to know that I haven’t wasted that time.
I’ve spent every second of it thinking of you, realizing that this is so much more than I bargained for.
You’re not Juliette. You’re not any of those other women.
You’re so much more to me, and I’m sorry that I ever let you doubt that.
The truth is that it’s hard to label what we are because you’re everything to me and there isn’t a single word in the English language that encompasses the way I feel about you, but the one that comes closest is love. ”
Stunned, I’m frozen in place. “Are you saying…”
Ethan nods. “I’m saying that I’m falling for you. I have been for a while, but I needed some time to figure my own shit out.”
It’s like my entire body just remembered what it was capable of wanting, and it aches deliciously for it. For him. Warmth radiates through my body as a smile spreads across my face.
“I’m falling for you too,” I admit.
Ethan’s smile is sudden, unfiltered. Then he’s picking me up and carrying me inside the house.
We only make it to the living room (the first one) before he’s inside me.
Tonight, there’s no roleplaying, no pretending to be anyone else.
We’re just ourselves—a couple falling in love, and it’s my favorite role so far.