Chapter 14
Chapter
Fourteen
Ewan
As promised, I show up for beers at fire pit time at Rowdy’s house.
I haven’t talked to Maddie in three days. She’d had every opportunity. All I do is sit on my front porch and watch her house, and watch my dog, Pascal, shadow her every move.
Tonight, Rowdy introduces me properly to Foster.
We shake hands by the fire, and it makes that caveman part of my brain feel better when I see how attached he is to Ari.
“So, what’s the story with you and Maddie now?” Rowdy asks.
I shrug and drink my Dr. Pepper because I’m just not in the mood for alcohol tonight. “You’d have to ask her that. She asked for space. I gave her space.”
“I think what you do is you go over there and tell her that this is enough bullshit, and you need to decide right now if you’re both going to move on with your lives or give it another try,” Rowdy says, his voice slightly slurred.
I’m not about to argue with my friend when he’s half-buzzed.
When the fire gets too hot, I head up to the house and chuck my empty bottle into the recycling bin. People have brought snacks, but I’m not hungry. I’m falling back into my old ways of not eating when I can’t be near Maddie. It’s stupid, and I hate it. But it’s better than feeling nothing.
I open the screen door to head back outside, and nearly run straight into Maddie, who’s standing on the screened-in porch, watching me.
“Hi,” she says.
She looks fantastic. Her hair is piled into a bun, and she’s wearing her glasses, which she always said made her look like a nerd.
A touch of lip gloss shines on her lips.
She wears a denim jacket, a Lilo & Stitch T-shirt, and some crazy high-waisted pants that I can’t make sense of, but they work on her.
Breathtakingly beautiful. More than ever.
“Feeling better?”
“The picture of health.”
“Good.”
“I went back to work today,” she throws in my face.
I mutter “your funeral” under my breath.
“Excuse me?”
“Nothing. I’m sorry. It’s none of my business if you want your compromised immune system fucking with you again.”
“I’m mainly working from my bed. I hired a temporary worker to handle the office.”
This is a marked improvement in her “do everything” attitude.
“I’m proud of you, Maddie.”
She smiles. “I’m glad my choices are finally meeting with your approval.”
I don’t have a response to that.
“Well, this has been awkward. I’m gonna go to bed. I’m actually kind of tired,” she says.
She turns away, and I know this is it.
Everyone else is down by the fire, and it’s just Maddie and me on Rowdy’s porch. I have to say what I need to say now. Lay it all out there and just go for it.
I reach for her arm. “Maddie, wait.”
She turns back to me with a guarded expression.
“What is it, Ewan?”
“You asked what I wanted from you. I need to tell you what I want, right now.”
Her shoulders relax a little, and she accepts my offer to sit down on the swing next to me.
“Maddie, I don’t want a divorce. I never wanted a divorce.
I want us to work. I know I was a jerk when I walked away.
I realize now I should have turned around and fought for you.
That was insane, and the only thing I can say is that I was a stubborn, hard-headed kid.
Also, I’m sorry for the things I said. There’s nothing I can do to take those things back, but I want to make this work because I believe in us. ”
Maddie shifts her weight and adjusts the pillow on her lap.
“I said some really hurtful things, too. I’m proud of you for going into the service. You had more direction than I did at the time, and I didn’t appreciate it. But I just don’t know if I’m ready to put it all behind us just like that.”
I let her words wash over me, then ask, “Maddie, why did you name your matchmaking business Swan?”
She turns to me, and the firelight from down the way makes a halo behind the soft hair on her head. “You know. Because of the vampire books.”
Yeah, I know she was a fan of those books.
“That’s not why. I know the real reason.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I lean in and say, “Because when you found out that swans mate for life, you wanted swans at the wedding. But your dad said no. No to us getting married our senior year of high school. And no to swans. And we had to settle for seagulls on the beach.”
She laughs.
“We were so young,” she says.
“We married too young,” I affirm, nodding. “But my feelings never left.”
Maddie sniffles. “Oh god, Ewan.”
“It wasn’t that long ago. It feels like a lifetime, but it’s not too late. You named your business that because you still believe in us. Fuck it, what are you even doing playing a matchmaker if you can’t see that we’re the perfect match?”
She scoffs. “You barely know me now. I’m a different person.”
“I feel it, Maddie. Don’t you feel it?”