Chapter 22
Zane paced the hall. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been doing it, but he couldn’t stay still. Not until he saw Bonnie with his own two eyes and knew she was safe.
Every call was still going to voicemail. Every text went unanswered. It was killing him. All of it. Especially after Monty’s call.
He shoved his fingers through his hair, pulling at the damn strands. It was only when he heard footsteps on the stairs and distant voices that his hands stilled.
Then Bonnie stepped into the hall, Indie and Colt beside her, and his heart fucking stopped.
Safe. She was safe and unharmed, and damn, that almost dropped him to his knees.
She stopped when she saw him, brows flickering. She turned to the couple and said something quietly. Indie shot him a glance before pulling Bonnie into a hug. Zane received a chin lift from Colt before he put a hand on Indie’s back, then he and his wife headed back down the stairs.
“How long have you been out here?” Bonnie asked when she reached him.
“Not long.” A damn lie. He’d been here for over an hour. “Can I come in?”
She looked at the closed door. For a second he was sure she’d say no. Then she unlocked it and stepped inside her apartment, leaving the door open behind her.
He followed her in, closing and locking the door after him.
“My phone died,” she said quietly. “But I’m sorry I disappeared on you.”
“I was worried.” A fucking understatement.
“Do you want a coffee?” She walked to the kitchen and put a pod into the machine.
He crossed the room and the second he stood behind her, he gently gripped her hips, needing to touch her. She froze, the smallest gasp slipping into the air. “Bonnie…what happened today?”
The only sound in the room was her breathing. Deep. Even. “I got a text from Jane White. It threw me. I was still feeling shaky when I heard you.”
“Heard me what?”
“Chett left his coloring book at the gym. I went back in, and I heard you say you would never love another person again.”
Shit.
She turned in his arms, a glint of tears in her eyes as she stared at his chest. “I know we haven’t been dating for long.
It just…it hurt and I ran.” She lifted a shoulder.
“I’ve lived all of my adult life without having any meaningful relationships.
And I guess I was hoping that this was different. ”
She hadn’t met his gaze. Not once the entire time she was speaking.
“Bonnie.” He touched her chin to lift her head. It took a second, but she finally looked at him. “I said that to protect you.”
Confusion shadowed her eyes. “I don’t understand.”
He fucking hated talking about Monty. But if he wanted Bonnie in his life, he had to be honest with her. She needed all the information, not just the bits he was willing to part with. “Monty called today.”
Her eyes widened. “From prison?”
“Yeah. He gave me some bullshit reason. Said he was checking that I was good. He made sure to mention Amber Ridge and relationships. So I told him I didn’t have any relationships.”
“Do you think he knows about us?”
There was that damn squeeze of his chest again. “He was pretty clear in his wording. He obviously knows I’m dating someone. I was thinking…”
“What?”
Fuck, he wasn’t even sure what he was thinking. “Maybe we should lay low for a while…just to be safe.”
“Lay low.” Her gaze shifted between his eyes, brows tugged together. “What does that mean?”
He slipped a thumb beneath her shirt and grazed her skin. “It means, for the moment, our relationship is here. Away from watchful eyes.”
She nodded, her expression completely unreadable.
He tightened his hold on her. “What are you thinking?”
“Maybe tonight we should sleep in our own apartments. It’s been a long day, and we both have a lot going on.”
Panic started to crawl up his chest. Panic that she could be considering ending things. Panic that he could lose the best damn thing in his life. “Is that what you want?”
She nodded, but there was uncertainty in her eyes that was in conflict with her words. “We can see how we feel tomorrow. When the world gets loud, I need time to think.”
He didn’t want to leave her. But if she needed space, he didn’t want to take that from her.
“Okay.” He lowered his head and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Lock your doors after me, Bon. And if you need me…I’ll be here in a second.”
She nodded, her eyes holding him hostage for a moment.
Instead of pulling her closer like he wanted, he released her. Forced himself to step back. And the second he was out of her apartment, he felt it. The suffocating quiet that only came when he wasn’t with Bonnie.
Bonnie gasped, her eyes shooting open as she sat up, nausea swirling in her belly.
A dream. It was just a dream.
But it had felt so real.
She dropped her head into her hands, but she couldn’t get the nightmare out of her head. She’d opened her apartment door and Dean was standing there, pale and bleeding…and in his hands, the mouse’s head.
Oh, God. She really might be sick.
She swallowed the bile trying to crawl up her throat. It wasn’t real. Dean was gone. It was just a dream.
She glanced beside her to the empty bed, suddenly wanting—craving—Zane’s presence. But he wasn’t there, because of her. Because she’d suggested they sleep in their own apartments.
Why? Because he’d asked to keep their relationship private? Because when he’d suggested Monty might know about her, she’d become scared that she might be used against Zane? And she couldn’t handle something else, another tragedy, being her fault.
Indie had told her to stop running. And here she was, doing it again. Running from this perfect man just down the hall. Allowing herself to suffer alone when she didn’t have to.
God, what was wrong with her? Zane was safety and comfort and strength, and she needed all of that. At eighteen years old, she had an excuse for making bad decisions. She’d been young and hurting.
But now, thirteen years later, she was still doing it—running from the good in her life.
She could. She would.
She threw off the sheets and climbed out of bed. The creak of the floorboard was loud in the quiet room, and the darkness made a shudder course down her spine.
She grabbed her phone and left her bedroom. She only wore an oversized shirt, but she didn’t bother to pull on sweats or shoes. She lifted both the keys to her apartment and Zane’s from the hall table.
The only moment she questioned her decision was when she stepped into the empty hall. It was late. Or early, depending on which way you looked at it. Two-in-the-morning kind of early.
Quickly, she locked her apartment and jogged to Zane’s door. It wasn’t until she’d stepped inside and locked the door after her that she breathed a sigh of relief and felt that this was the right decision. It slipped through her entire body and felt warm and safe.
Then, she padded down the hall.
She wasn’t sure why she’d expected to find him asleep. He was a former Army Ranger. Of course he’d woken the second she’d opened the door.
He lowered the gun back to the drawer. “Bonnie. What’s wrong?”
Without a word, she crossed the room, set her phone and the keys on his bedside table, and pulled back the sheets.
But she didn’t slip into bed beside him.
She climbed right on top of him, her entire body covering his.
Then she laid her cheek on his chest, his heart thumping loudly beneath her ear. “It was a bad idea.”
“What was?”
“Sleeping separately. I want to be here with you.”
There was a moment of pause, when he didn’t move. And she almost wondered if she was alone in this realization.
But then he grabbed the sheets and pulled them over both of them. His strong arms wrapped around her, making her feel immediately safe. “I want you here too.”
That last bit of tightness eased from her chest and she breathed him in, his earthy scent filling her. It was crazy how one person’s scent could become so familiar so quickly.
“I’m sorry I ran earlier today,” she whispered, the frustration bleeding out of her. Frustration in herself. In the decisions she’d made in her life. “It’s my crutch. It’s what I do when things get hard.”
“You run, I follow, Bon. Always.”
She looked up at him. “Really?”
His blue eyes seared into her, so intense. “You think there’s anywhere else I’d rather be?”
Her heart gave one of those giant thumps. The kind you felt from your head down to your toes.
Just like in her apartment, he lifted his mouth and kissed her forehead. “Sleep,” he whispered. “I’ve got you.”
She lowered her head back to his chest and closed her eyes, letting the strong beats of his heart lull her to sleep.