6. Elliot
ELLIOT
N aomi and Richard are home from work and Connor doesn’t have hockey camp, so we decide to take a drive out to the beach to enjoy the weather.
The small beach we used to hang out at as kids is reasonably quiet despite the season. Most tourists head to the larger beaches, where parking isn’t permitted and there are more amenities. This is very much a local beach, with small patches of soft sand amidst the rockier ground.
Water laps the shore as we set up camp. I try my best not to look in Connor’s direction while he helps Naomi set up her umbrella.
He’s wearing sandals and shorts, his hairy legs and impressive calf muscles on display. You know someone’s buff when their calves stand out. I’m not even sure what kind of exercises someone would do for muscles like that.
His voice, easygoing and teasing as he debates Naomi about the best placement for the picnic blanket, carries over the sound of water foaming against the sand and the breeze flapping the umbrella. I keep my gaze anywhere but on him .
My wishful thinking brain has been making up all kinds of wild things lately.
Like Connor staring at my lips as if he wants to kiss me.
Or flirting with me by the pool. I have to keep giving myself a reality check.
I’m not that different from the gawky kid who had his gay awakening at the sight of Connor standing in the laundry room in his underwear while his mom washed his hockey clothes.
Once we’re all set up, Scout coaxes me out to for a swim. The water is calm enough to wade into without being jostled around too much. I like the salty tang of the water here compared to the chlorine smell of the pool at the house.
When there’s a slight chill in the air and the shadow of trees cutting across the sand, it’s the perfect place to unwind.
Right now, though, the sun is a little too hot. Wispy clouds do little to shield us from the rays. Despite wearing sunscreen, I feel my skin sizzling under the heat.
I’m about to suggest to Scout that we head back to the shade of Naomi’s umbrella when Connor comes wading into the water, carrying a ridiculous inflatable ring.
“What are you doing with that?” Scout asks, suspicion rising in her voice.
Connor flashes her a mischievous grin.
She rolls her eyes. “Come on, Eli. Let’s go and get a drink.”
“Wait.” Connor grabs her around the waist and pulls her back.
“What are you doing?” she huffs.
Without another word, he picks her up and throws her over his shoulder.
“Eli, help!” she squeals.
“Don’t drag Eli into this. ”
Scout growls and kicks her feet. But he has her clamped too effectively for her to break free.
I hate it when they put me in the middle of their stupid fights.
They bring out the absolute worst in each other.
Scout is ten times more mature when Connor isn’t around and I’m assuming Connor doesn’t act like a teenager while he’s at work.
But the second they see each other, they revert back to acting like children.
Scout’s screaming so loudly I’m sure the lifeguard will come over and kick them out of the water any second now.
“Eli!”
I look around for help, finding the floatie and tossing it to her. She grabs hold and I take the other side and pull. It’s somewhat futile. Even if I’m able to pull her away from Connor, I’ll only drag her head first into the water.
When I look back to the beach for help from Naomi and Richard, they aren’t paying us the slightest bit of attention.
“Connor, put me down, right now.” Scout slaps him on the back, hard enough to sting, but Connor keeps on laughing.
“Ask me nicely.”
“Grrr!”
He chuckles, and I see a glisten in his eye that isn’t merely antagonism. Is this the only way he can get his sister to engage with him?
“Say please and I’ll let you down.”
“No!”
Connor’s gaze meets mine and he winks. “Shall we get Eli instead?”
My heart races. I shake my head, but there’s a smile tugging at my lips. I’m still holding the floatie uselessly as Connor comes toward me, Scout still dangling over his shoulder, kicking and screaming like a banshee .
“No,” I say meekly, holding the floatie out in front of me like a shield.
“Connor, put me down! Please!” Scout screams.
“Fine.” He tosses her off his shoulder and she goes headfirst into the water. I’m too busy watching for her to surface to notice Connor lunge for me.
I squeal—it isn’t a very manly sound, but I don’t have time to be embarrassed about it before Connor is pulling the ring from my hands and coming for me.
“Leave him alone!” Scout shouts. Connor doesn’t even seem to hear her as he comes for me, catching me around the waist and tossing me over his shoulder in one fell swoop.
My breath is knocked from my lungs, but I don't think it’s just being manhandled that does it.
The second his hand made contact with my bare skin, heat rushed through me and my head started to swim.
The hard ridges of his body were bruising as he hefted me onto his shoulder, and now I’m dangling, close enough to smell the salt water on his skin.
My chest is pressed against his naked back and his arm is tightly clutching me around the thighs.
I have to bite my lip to hold in a groan of pleasure.
Scout is beating Connor with the floatie, but he’s just laughing at her feeble attempt at a rescue. God, his laugh.
“Put him down or I’ll call the lifeguard.”
“I’ll put him down if he asks nicely.”
Heat pools in my groin. Fuck. If he doesn’t put me down soon, he’s about to feel how much I don’t hate him touching me like this.
“Please!” I whine. Please put me down before I make a fool of myself in front of you.
In another moment, I’m being deposited back in the water .
I come up breathless, scrubbing the hair back from my face. I rub water out of my eyes and open them to find Connor watching me with a weird expression on his face. It’s like fear and something else, something I can’t quite read. Like he’s in a trance.
He snaps out of it. “You okay?”
I nod. “Fine.”
“Are you a psychopath?” Scout screeches. “You could have drowned us, you lunatic.”
Connor’s face changes in an instant as he turns to his sister. “I was just messing around. Relax. I’d never let anything happen to you.”
Scout misses the tenderness of his statement entirely and spits one last “Psycho,” at him before trudging out of the sea. Before I can follow her, my gaze locks back on Connor’s. He smiles. It feels like a private smile. He laughs and I laugh, too, before biting my lip to stop myself.
“Eli, come on .”
Scout’s voice drags me out of the moment and I follow her, forcing myself not to look back.
Naomi just smiles when Scout complains about her brother.
“He was just having fun with you.”
“You always take his side.” Scout has a big beach towel wrapped around her shoulders, her hair dripping down her back while it dries into her natural curls.
I lean close so only she can hear me. “Are you mad at me?”
“Why would I be mad at you?” she asks.
I shrug. “Because I totally failed at rescuing you? ”
She holds her pinkie finger out and we shake on it. Warmth and relief spreads through me.
“Snack time,” Richard announces, pulling little sandwiches and slices of fruit from the cooler. He cracks open a beer and passes a wine spritzer to Naomi.
“Want a beer, bud?” he asks his son.
Connor hesitates before accepting it.
“I want a beer,” Scout says.
“Be a lady. Have a wine spritzer,” Naomi suggests.
Scout makes a face. “Urgh, no thanks.”
Laughing, Richard throws her a beer before passing me one, too.
I try to mask my wince at the taste of the frothy liquid inside the can, but when I glance up, Connor’s watching me and throws me one of those smiles that feels like he’s sharing a secret. When his dad isn’t looking, he pours some of his beer into the sand.
I try to tune into the beach’s peaceful ambience while everyone chats around me.
The seagulls calling to each other over the water.
The breeze rushing through the nearby trees.
The sea lapping the shore. The voices of my second family chatting away.
But they’re not my family. They never will be.
I think about my dad, at home by himself.
Locked away in his study, hiding in his books. Guilt consumes me until I feel sick.
“You okay, Eli?” Connor’s voice snaps me out of it.
“Huh? Oh, yeah, I just have to pee.”
I push my beer can into the sand, stomach roiling as I stand.
I don’t know whether it’s the beer or the guilt that’s making me feel so sick, but when I finally make it to the restrooms. I have to rest my forehead on the bathroom wall.
I take a few deep breaths and splash my face with cold water before going back out to join everyone .
When I sit down, I notice my can is in a different place, and when I pick it up, it’s empty. I glance over at Connor and he throws me a conspiratorial wink.