Chapter 7
Regan
M ommy and I moved into a new house last week, and I really hate it here.
There is garbage on the floor, dirty dishes in the sink, bugs everywhere, and Mommy ignores me for her new friends.
She spent all her time with them, and when I made her mad, she hit me, yelling to go away.
Her new friends treated me like I wasn’t there, and after seeing the other little girl living in the house, I thought it was better to be ignored.
I didn’t know her real name, only the ugly name they called her.
And they started calling me an ugly name too, but I tried not to let it make me sad.
Tears made them mad, and when they’re mad, they treated me even worse.
I had to sneak food when there was some, and after I stepped on a piece of broken glass, I kept my sandals on almost all the time.
The room I shared with Mommy smelled funny, and sometimes at night, men I didn’t know came into the room with Mommy.
I turned away from them and hid my face against the wall with my hand over my ears as they made noises that caused my tummy to get upset.
The little area I kept clean on the floor was my safe place in this scary house, and sometimes, I wished I could run away and have the kind of family I saw on TV, when I was allowed to watch it.
Once, Mommy was having a party and they sent me and the other girl to our rooms, telling us to stay out of the way.
I pushed some cotton I’d found in the bathroom into my ears and tried to sleep as loud music and laughing echoed into the room.
When I finally went to sleep, I said a prayer that someone would save me from this place.
I wished for a clean house, a bed of my own, food, and a family who loved me.
Sometime in the middle of the night, I heard noises that woke me up, causing me to sit up and pull the thin blanket up to my neck as I scooted into the corner of the room. Whoever was upset was yelling and using swear words, and as they got closer to the room, I felt myself shaking.
The door swung open, and someone flicked the light on in the room, making it hard for me to see as they began shouting at me.
“Where the fuck is she, mouse?” the man in charge yelled as he gripped onto my forearm and yanked me off the floor. “And don’t lie to me.”
“W-w-who?” I asked the man, and he smacked me across the cheek.
“Don’t play stupid with me. It had to be you who helped her,” he accused as he shook me, yelling down at me with spit in the corners of his mouth.
His breath stank, and I felt urine running down my legs as he continued to accuse me of something I had nothing to do with. Mommy walked into the room and pushed him to the side as she took hold of me.
“Where is she, Regan?” Mommy yelled, and the tears fell faster as her stinky breath blasted across my face.
“I don’t know, Mommy,” I replied with stuttering breaths.
“I told you the mouse was worthless. I bet it was the bastard who was here last week. He paid too much attention to her,” the man who hit me reasoned, and the rest of the adults turned to him and began to nod.
“Get Marco on the phone and tell him to have his watchers look for her. I’ve got too much on the line to lose any assets. ”
They started to walk out of the room, and my mommy dropped me, causing me to land in the puddle of urine I’d made. “M-m-mommy?”
“What?” she barked, and I lowered my gaze.
“W-w-who’s missing?” I asked, worried someone might take me too.
“That little girl who’s been running around. The one they call cockroach,” she said with a shrug and slapped the light switch, casting me into darkness before closing the door.
Tears flowed as I pushed off the floor and walked to the closed door. I pushed my ear to it and heard the muffled sound of the adults talking. When I heard the back door open, I carefully peeked out the bedroom door. Not seeing anyone, I ran across the narrow hallway and into the bathroom.
The house smelled like someone got sick, and they were smoking their funny cigarettes again as I closed the bathroom door behind me.
Flipping on the light, I quickly used the bathroom, slipping my underwear off and dropping them in the sink.
After cleaning myself up, I rinsed my underwear in the trickle of water that came from the faucet.
I couldn’t stop crying as I twisted the water out of them.
I only had one pair of underwear, two pairs of socks that had holes in them, a pair of shorts, three T-shirts that didn’t fit, my pajamas, and a pair of tennis shoes that made my toes hurt.
As I opened the door to the bathroom and peeked out, I glanced to the door the missing girl lived behind and thought how lucky she was to have escaped this place. Then the thought of who took her and what they were going to do to her filled my head and the tears flowed hot and fast.
Racing across the hallway, I ran into my bedroom and closed the door behind me. Flipping on the light, I used a piece of dirty clothes to clean my mess before I looked around. There was an old blanket half-shoved under the bed, and I grabbed it and tossed it over the wet spot on the carpet.
After turning off the light, I tried to get comfortable as I wished I was anywhere but here. A little while later, I jolted off the floor as the music grew in volume from the other room. Turning away from the bed, I pulled my shirt over my eyes, hoping for rest.
What I didn’t expect, but probably should have, was the door opening a little after the sky outside started to turn from black to gray.
Looking over my shoulder, I expected to see Mommy and knew something was wrong when I saw the man who hit me earlier standing in the open doorway.
He looked around until his eyes landed on me, and with a weird smile, he walked into the room and closed the door, sealing us in.
I sat up and started to shake as he walked over, looming above me as he slurred his words. “Well, since my little cockroach has slipped away, I guess you’ll have to do.”
Not knowing what he meant, I tried to push farther into the corner, only for him to reach down and grab a handful of hair and physically pull me from the floor.
I learned the painful way what he wanted from me, and when my Mommy walked into the room and saw what he was doing to me on her bed, she grabbed a cigarette from the top of the dresser and walked out, leaving him to hurt me.
And things only got worse from there. A few months later, the mommy of the little girl everyone called that ugly name had died. Everyone was sad, and for a few days afterward, they drank, smoked, and partied more than ever before.
I tried to hide in the closet, I tried to sleep in the yard, but everywhere I went, the man who hurt me was able to find me, causing new, humiliating pain.
I never told anyone about living in that house or what I’d survived for three years.
Just before I turned eight, someone called the police, and when they discovered me in that house, I was put back into the foster system and never saw my mother again.
And I hadn’t shed one tear for her or the loss of my innocence.
And after I left that house, no one ever called me ‘mouse’ again.
I woke up in my bed with a worried Seth, James, Devlin, and Rhys looking down at me. Blinking my eyes, I tried to sit up, only to have Seth, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, gently place his hand on me, urging me to stay still.
“What happened?” I asked, not remembering how I got here.
James went to speak, but Seth talked over him. “We were talking with Devlin and DJ in the hallway when your eyes lost focus and you passed out.” He took my hand into his and uttered, “I barely caught you before you hit your head on the floor.”
I attempted to give him a smile when Rhys pushed forward and asked, “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”
I looked at my brother and sat up, wanting to show them all I was okay. “I’m fine. I think I pushed myself too hard in the gym.”
That was the only thing that made any sense. The last thing I remembered was walking out of the nursery to speak with Devlin and Seth. DJ was giving Seth dating advice, and when we walked out into the hallway, Devlin said something, but as hard as I tried, it wasn’t coming back.
Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I watched the big, strong men step back as I went to stand.
My balance was a little wobbly, and more than one of them tried to reach out to hold onto me, but I took Seth’s hand to steady myself instead.
He smiled at me as he placed his other hand onto my lower back, ensuring I was firmly on my feet before he released his hold on me.
Looking at James, who looked like he was about to jump out of his skin, I reassured him. “I’m fine, James. I’ll grab something to eat and be back to new.” Stepping closer to him, I added, “I promise.”
He looked deeply into my eyes as Rhys stepped beside me, and after what seemed like forever, he gave me a nod and replied, “No more workouts without eating.”
“Fine, dad ,” I muttered, earning a chuckle from the group as they allowed me to walk past them.
I didn’t need to turn around to know I had a group of men following me, and when I went into the kitchen, I heard Devlin say, “Why don’t you stay with her, Seth, while we finish up our meeting?”
“Done,” Seth said as he turned and followed me into the kitchen. His eyes were plastered to me as he followed a few steps behind me.
The rest of the group started to walk down the other hallway toward the war room, when I saw Rhys pause and give us a look before he pinched his lips and silently walked away.
I knew he wanted to say something, but I wasn’t in the mood for threats, lectures, or lessons.
I needed to remember what we were talking about because the back of my brain was screaming it was important.
Just as I went to grab a glass for some juice, Seth stepped up behind me and reached into the cabinet for me. I turned to watch him go to the fridge, and he lifted his eyebrows, silently asking me what I wanted.
“OJ, please,” I said, and he nodded before pouring the glass of juice.
He watched as I took a large swallow, and his attention was nice. I still wasn’t going out with him, but seeing he was intently watching me to make sure I was okay gave me the warm and fuzzies in my stomach.
“Would you like to get some fresh air? It’s not too chilly outside,” Seth remarked, and I nodded.
I went to walk out of the kitchen, but he reached out and took my hand into his.
I saw him exhale deeply as he linked his fingers with mine and guided us outside.
The patio away from the house seemed to be his destination, and I wordlessly followed.
When we got to the patio, he pulled a chair out from the table and made sure I was pushed in before he took the seat next to me.
Taking my hand back into his, I waited for him to say something, and when he did, I felt the vomit rise in my throat.
“Who called you ‘mouse’?”