Chapter 30
Regan
F or days, I laid in bed, drugged up from painkillers.
One of the men Kelly let at me decided I needed to be punished for not wanting to swallow his nasty cum and he kicked me in the jaw, dislocating it, but thankfully, it wasn’t broken.
The doctor who came to check me out wired it shut and said I would be that way for three to four weeks.
He gave me a bottle of pain pills and explained I would have to use a straw to drink and I wouldn’t be able to have solid food until the wires came out. Kelly had a sick grin on her face after he left, and I wanted to punch her in the nose when she started to speak.
“Well, I guess you have an excuse to not speak now,” she reasoned and laughed at my pain.
Crying was the worst thing I could do, even though at that moment it was all I wanted.
Not once since the night Sergey escorted me from that house had I shed any tears, but this situation felt hopeless.
I couldn’t speak, even if I wanted to, and if she decided to put me back into service, I was terrified of what I would have to endure in silence.
She looked across the room at me and shrugged before turning and leaving me alone.
I was glad she was gone but knew she wouldn’t stay that way.
For the next couple days, I was brought a protein shake with a straw and my pain meds every four hours.
Each time I took them, I passed out while worrying who was going to violate me when I couldn’t fight back.
On the fifth day, I was deep into sedation when someone knocked quietly on the door then opened it slowly. I was so tired, I couldn’t see who it was, so I kept my eyes closed and prayed they would be done quick. Footsteps approached and a tiny voice spoke above me.
“I’m going to make them pay for what they’re doing to us, but you have to hang on until I can get us out of here.” The voice paused and added softly, “I’m sorry this is happening to you.”
They left, and though I wasn’t sure who they were, their promise did little to lessen my fear and worry. No one had shown me kindness the entire time I’d been with Kelly, and every time Ricardo came by, she got more and more angry, demanding the information I had, but I refused to divulge.
A false promise of redemption did nothing to make me feel better.
The only thing that would was knowing Kelly, Giovanni, and Ricardo were dead and I never had to worry about the monsters chasing me again.
The day Devlin and James burst through the door, taking me from that horrible shack Giovanni called home, gave me hope that maybe that little voice had been telling the truth after all.
If I could just remember who it was.
I blinked my eyes open as a pair of arms pulled tighter around me, and when I saw I was in my bedroom, the relief that washed over me was instant. Relaxing in his arms, Seth placed a kiss on the back of my head.
“Are you okay, baby? You were mumbling in your sleep, but I didn’t want to wake you.”
I rolled over, careful of the bandage on my arm as I looked into his soulful eyes. His smile was warm and inviting, and waking up next to him was going to become one of my favorite things to do.
“Just dreaming about something,” I remarked, and he kissed my forehead.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, and I had a choice to make.
I could continue to act like everything was okay and I didn’t experience trauma and betrayal on a level that was hard to fathom. Or I could start to speak, taking the sting out of the shame and regret I’d allowed myself to wallow in for too long.
Sighing, I began to explain. “A few months after I was sent to Kelly, she got pissed at me because she was expecting me to roll over and tell her everything I knew, but I refused. She’d left for a few days, and when she came back, she was screaming about how I was going to speak or she’d make me.
So,” I paused, and he kissed my forehead again, giving me time to form my thoughts, “she allowed one of the men to get rough with me, and he’s the one who dislocated my jaw.
I was remembering the few days following that. ”
“Is there something specific you remember?” he asked, and I could hear a twinge of anger in his voice. I knew it wasn’t directed at me, but I had to keep reminding myself of that.
Looking up, I saw understanding looking back at me as I said, “Someone came in and said they were going to make them pay for what they were doing to us.” I shrugged, still curious who made the promise.
“Do you know who it was?”
“I never saw their face and didn’t recognize the voice,” I admitted, and he kissed me again.
“Thank you for sharing. I know it’s going to take some time for us to get into a pattern, but I hope you know you can say anything to me. I just want to be here for you, however you’ll let me.”
“When I said I trusted you, I meant that.” He went to speak, but I placed my hand over his mouth, needing to get the words out.
“For too long, I’d lived in a place of survival, even when I was safe.
I was terrified everyone would blame me for being connected to Sergey and then they would walk away and leave me to face my demons alone. But I was wrong.”
“And now?” he inquired, and I leaned forward and placed a kiss over his heart.
“Now, I’m ready to start living.”
He smiled down at me, and I pushed up, needing his lips. The kiss was chaste but filled with promise. A knock on the door had us pulling apart as I lifted my head and said, “Who is it?”
“It’s Hannah. I’ve got dinner almost ready in case you’re hungry.”
Glancing at Seth, I raised my eyebrows. He nodded, so I returned to Hannah, “We’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“Take your time. It’s just about to come out of the oven,” she said.
“I guess it’s time to get up,” I reasoned. “What time is it anyway?”
I kept my room dark for the days when I didn’t want to see the world, so there wasn’t any natural light coming through the blackout shades covering the windows. Seth rolled over and returned with his phone in his hand. Looking at it, he said, “Damn. It’s almost eight at night.”
“I guess we needed the sleep,” I joked.
“I’m glad you got some rest. Did you sleep well besides the dream?”
“I slept better than I have in years,” I replied, and he smiled at me with his eyes twinkling.
“Let me help you get out of bed and we can get you fed.” Seth flipped the covers back on his side and released the hold he had on me.
I watched as he stood from the bed and stretched.
The first step he took was gingerly before he pulled his shoulders back and began to move around the bed.
The pain in his gait was obvious, and I wanted to tell him I was able to take care of myself, but he was faster than I was.
Pulling my covers back, he held out his hand to me, and I took it before carefully sitting up.
“Go slow. You lost a lot of blood yesterday, and I don’t want you overdoing it,” he remarked as he helped me stand from the bed.
I was still a little dizzy and realized he was right. I pushed myself hard to make sure I saw Giovanni suffer for his crimes, but now, I was sore and weak. I nodded, and he asked. “What do you want to wear?”
Slowly, I shuffled to the dresser, but when I tried to open the drawer, I didn’t have the strength to pull it open.
Looking at him, he had an ‘I told you so’ look on his face, and I rolled my eyes as I pointed to the drawer.
“I need my black leggings from this drawer and a sports bra from the top drawer.”
“Have a seat and I’ll get it,” he said, and as I turned to shuffle to his side of the bed, he added, “Hardheaded woman.”
I was smiling when he turned around with my pants in one hand and a front-hook sports bra in the other. “I don’t want you to pull any stitches so I thought this would be best.”
I took them from him and carefully stood to pull the pants up my legs. I still didn’t have on panties, and the free feeling was foreign but nice. Memories of the shower with Seth started to fill my head and a blush pushed up on my face.
I tried to turn away from him, but he placed a hand on my shoulder, stopping me. “What has that smile on your face, beautiful?”
I shook my head, embarrassed by my boldness this morning.
There was never a time in my life when I had done anything like that, even before I was kidnapped.
And it was out of character, but at that moment in the shower, there wasn’t anything I wanted more.
And thinking about it now was making me wet, wanting his tongue on me again.
Seth leaned over and whispered in my ear, “I’m thinking about how amazing you tasted this morning and how I want to do it again.” I pinched my lips in a smile and glanced at him. He added, “Is that what you’re thinking about?”
I nodded silently, and he reasoned, “Whenever and wherever you want me, just say the word.”
“Word,” I returned, and he placed his hand on the back of my neck and slammed his lips to mine.
I wrapped my uninjured arm around his neck as we kissed, battling the desire that was rapidly building between us. It was Seth who broke the kiss first, explaining, “I need to get you fed. Then we can come back here, and I’ll have dessert.”
Handing me the bra, he turned and walked into the bathroom, leaving me to finish dressing.
Carefully, I pulled my shorts off and slid my arms into the straps before hooking the front.
He returned, and when he saw I was sitting on the bed in my bra, he stopped in the doorway and adjusted what I knew to be a huge dick.
I wasn’t afraid of sex, not with him, but I was afraid of my reaction if something triggered me, and I never wanted him to think he was the cause.
Maybe I needed to go back into therapy, or possibly have a sit-down with some of the ladies in the family to see how they handled moving on with romance after their endeavors.
“I need a shirt from the second drawer please,” I said, and he snapped out of his trance and grabbed one from the drawer.
After helping me pull the shirt on, he assisted me to stand before we walked out of my bedroom.
Closing the door behind me, I armed the lock like I did every time I left, and we began to slowly walk to the kitchen.
Seth kept his hand in mine as we walked the familiar hallway of my brother’s home, and as we passed the enclosed patio, I looked at him and remarked, “I think I need to get my own place. I can’t stay with my brother forever, especially with him and Hannah getting married. ”
“That’s a thought, but how about we put that to the side until we get this mess straightened out?”
I nodded as we kept moving closer to the kitchen. “Probably a good idea.”
The yummy smell of garlic and tomatoes filled my nose as we walked into the kitchen.
Hannah was stirring a pot, and when she heard us behind her, she turned with a smile.
“The bread has three minutes left, and I just drained the pasta. I hope you don’t mind, but I used some of your frozen bread and canned sauce for dinner. ”
Approaching the stove, I sniffed the heavenly aroma and replied, “It’s for the house, and I’m so happy you picked this. I’m starving.”
Hannah looked at Seth. “Everyone’s in the war room if you want to join them. I’ll keep an eye on Regan while you’re gone.”
He looked at me and asked, “Do you want me to stay, or will you be okay?”
Leaning up, I pecked him on the lips and said, “I’ll be fine here with Hannah. I’ll help her get dinner finished and let you know when it’s ready.”
I could see his hesitation, and Hannah interjected, “She’s going to sit on the stool and watch as I finish dinner, then we’ll let you know when it’s ready. So, scoot already. I’ve got her.”
He gave me a look that asked what I wanted, and when I smiled and took my seat on the stool, he nodded, gave me a quick kiss, and walked down the other hallway leading to the war room.
Hannah looked at me, and I could tell she had questions. “If you turn the oven off, it’ll finish baking while we visit,” I said, and she walked over and turned the oven off before returning to me.
“Are you doing okay?” she started and carefully took the hand of my injured arm into hers, glancing at the bandage covering my gash.
“I’m okay. Tired, and a little bewildered by all this, but I’m okay.”
“And things with Seth? Have you worked it out?”
I nodded and explained, “We both decided to start over. No secrets, no manipulations, no looking back.”
“And the rest?” she delicately asked, and I knew she was worried about the physical aspect of a pending relationship.
For the next few minutes, we whispered about what happened in the shower this morning, and she squealed in delight, happy for me. The noise drew attention because the next thing we heard was thundering footsteps running toward us.
Hannah and I both snapped our heads toward the sound, and she jumped off the stool and stood in front of me, prepared to defend me against whoever was approaching.
When we saw Seth, Rhys, James, Devlin, Lucian, Booker, Caldwell, and a few of Rhys’s guards run into the kitchen, ready to protect us, I began to laugh.
There was no way anyone could get into the fortress Rhys turned the house and grounds into, but the first indication there was trouble, they came running to save the day. And they looked shocked and confused at my laughter when they arrived.
“What was that noise?” Rhys asked when Hannah joined me in laughter.
I shook my head and tried to explain, only to laugh again, feeling more present and more alive than ever before. Looking at the men, I explained, “I was just telling Hannah a funny story and we got caught up in the laughter. We didn’t mean to scare you.”
Seth approached and brushed a piece of hair from my forehead. “I love seeing you smile. It lights up the world.”
I knew his words were sincere. Seth may have approached this whole thing from the right mindset but the wrong perspective when it first started, but now, I had no doubt that his words of love and his dedication to me were from the heart.
And it was at that moment, I realized how much of my heart he already held. I didn’t want to fall in love, but he reached in and claimed my heart as his own the first time he kissed me. If today was any measure of his feelings, I knew we had no place to go but up.