Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Hannah strode into the welcome air conditioning of the bistro, her gaze sweeping over the small room for a familiar face. Audrey sat tucked away in a corner booth, bright afternoon sunlight spilling over the table, glinting off her auburn hair.
Feeling eyes on her, Audrey looked up and waved. Her infectious smile was impossible not to return, and Hannah felt an answering grin tugging at her mouth as she wound her way through the tables.
Audrey pulled her into a hug as she approached. “Hey, I’m glad you could make it.”
Hannah squeezed her back, then slid into the booth across from her. “Me, too. It’s been a little crazy recently.”
Audrey’s expression turned serious. “So I heard. What happened?”
Hannah relayed the details of the past couple of weeks until the waiter stopped by. The bistro was a regular lunch spot for them, and he took their orders with a knowing smile before heading back to the kitchen.
“Anyway.” Hannah turned her attention back to Audrey. “Andrew brought up a good point. He suggested it might be a good idea to have some extra security at the health center until we figure out what’s going on. He even suggested I start dating again.”
“And, of course, Andrew thought it should be him,” Audrey interjected with a roll of her eyes.
“He just wants me to be safe.”
Audrey snorted. “Please.”
“He’s… protective,” Hannah hedged.
“Jealous.” Audrey raised an eyebrow, and Hannah sighed.
“He asked me again about joining his practice.”
Audrey’s eyes widened. “Please tell me you said no!”
“I told him I’d think about it.”
“Hannah…”
Hannah held up a palm. “I know what you’re going to say. I have no intention of joining with Andrew, either in my professional life or personal. But it shut him up for a while.”
Audrey studied her for a moment before heaving a sigh. “Look, Andrew seems nice enough, but he’s obviously infatuated with you. He follows you around like a puppy yearning for your approval.”
Andrew was always inviting Hannah to dinner, to the opera, or a new art exhibit.
Which wasn’t a bad thing—if he could accept the fact that they’d only ever be friends.
She was pretty certain, though, that he would be harder to dissuade than most. It bothered her sometimes that he thought he knew what was best for her.
He was a nice person, and he was a great doctor, but she felt no intimate attraction to him.
“Why don’t you just tell him how you really feel and put the guy out of his misery?” Audrey asked. “Otherwise, he’s going to keep hoping that one day you’ll give in and finally go out with him.”
And therein lay the crux of the problem. “I’ve tried to tell him. Or, at least, I’ve dropped subtle hints about not dating friends and coworkers.”
“Men don’t do subtle. You’ll have to just come right out and say it. Or better yet”—Audrey raised her water glass in a kind of mock salute—“start dating someone else.”
Hannah picked up her own glass of sweet tea and drew little designs in the condensation coating the glass. Her fidgeting drew Audrey’s attention, and her eyes narrowed.
“Okay, spill. Something’s going on, I can tell.”
Hannah had known Audrey since their sophomore year of college, and Audrey knew every detail of her sordid past. She understood Hannah’s outlook on love and relationships, but she still encouraged her to get out and meet people.
Aside from her two semi-serious relationships in college, Hannah had only been on a handful of dates since opening her practice.
The dates had felt stilted and awkward, and after the third dinner spent mostly in silence, she’d begun to think she’d never feel truly comfortable with a man. Until Luke.
“So, you know the new security guard that Raúl called in?”
“Oh, yes. That man is gorgeous.” Audrey’s eyes widened as she glanced across the table at Hannah. “Oh, my God! You like him, don’t you?”
Hannah opened her mouth just as the waiter stopped by the table to deliver their food. After he left, she speared a piece of lettuce and lifted it to her mouth. “Well, do you remember me telling you about Rachel?”
Audrey’s eyes filled with sympathy. “Yes, I’m so sorry about that. How are you doing, by the way?”
Hannah shrugged. “Better. I’m still disappointed, in both her and myself, but I’m coming to terms with it.”
“Good for you. I’m glad you understand it wasn’t your fault.”
Hannah swallowed a bite of salad before clearing her throat.
“Anyway, after her service I went back to my office. I was upset and Luke—the security guard—found me. We talked for a few minutes and…” Heat flooded her cheeks at the memory of his hands roaming her back, his lips on hers. “We kind of… kissed.”
A huge grin spread over Audrey’s mouth. “Really? It’s been a long time since you’ve been interested in a guy.”
“He asked me out.”
“And?” Audrey stared at her. “What did you say?”
“Well…” Hannah glanced out the window and watched a bird flit from bush to bush in search of food. She finally turned back to Audrey. “I’ve kind of been avoiding him.”
Audrey studied her. “I know it’s hard for you to trust guys. I’d probably feel the same way if I were you. But that was a long time ago. Maybe it’s time to move on. If you really like this guy—Luke—why not go for it?”
It was the same advice Andrew had given her. Except Andrew obviously thought he should be the logical choice, not someone else. Luke made Hannah feel things. What, exactly, she wasn’t sure… But she wanted to find out.
He’d been a complete gentleman and, though she’d felt his eyes following her around the health center over the last few days, he hadn’t pushed her. She caught glimpses of him from time to time as he patrolled the building, but she hadn’t worked up the nerve to talk to him again.
“I don’t know. I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”
The morning following their encounter, Hannah found a note on her desk. A phone number had been scribbled along the bottom under the words “Debt Collector.” It had made her smile, and she’d tucked it in the top drawer of her desk, only to pull it out several times that week.
She wished she had the confidence to do as Audrey said and take what she wanted.
She’d hidden a part of herself away for so long she wasn’t sure she even knew how to be a desirable, attractive woman.
She knew the relaxed, dark suits didn’t look good, but they were comfortable.
And safe. They provided a layer of protection against men who only wanted sex.
Most couldn’t see beyond the baggy fabric to the person underneath. Except… Luke had. He’d been the first man to look at her—to really see her—in a long time.
“I’ve been thinking I might go shopping,” she said slowly. “Maybe get some new clothes.”
Audrey was silent for a moment as she regarded her. “For you? Or for him?”
Hannah’s spine tightened defensively. “I’m doing this for me.”
“I understand.” Audrey nodded. “I think that dressing in something more… flattering… will really help to boost your confidence.”
Hannah tried to push down the sting of hurt Audrey’s comment had inflicted. “I know.”
“You know I mean that in the best way possible,” Audrey added softly. “It’s been almost ten years. Maybe it’s time to stop hiding.”
It was true; Hannah had been hiding. She’d closed herself off for so long that she’d forgotten who she really was.
She wanted Luke to be attracted to her. She wanted him to desire her.
But she was tired of being restrained, defined by her past. The idea of moving on, putting it all behind her, was scary and exciting all at the same time.
Years ago she’d been confident and happy.
And she desperately wanted to be that person again.