Chapter Fifteen
L orelei wandered through the large house, not knowing what to do. The place didn’t feel like her home. Maybe Cross had been right, that they should find someplace more ... relaxed. Less stuffy. Stepping outside, the cool night air caused the fine hair around her face to dance. She took her shoes off and stepped onto the grass, something she hadn’t done in a very long time. Digging her toes into the soil, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the earthly sensation.
No more being hurt. No bruises. No midnight torture sessions.
She looked at her arms and noticed the finger impressions around her wrist were fading to yellow. Soon, there’d be no more proof of her time at Noble Vale. It would be nothing but a distant memory. A horrible nightmare she had awoken from.
Tilting her head back, she stared at the moon and stars. She and Cross had been moving so much, she never realized how much she missed seeing the world at night. It would be something she’d never take for granted again.
Heading back inside, she wandered into the kitchen. Running her fingers over the granite surfaces and high-end appliances, she thought it would be nice to know how to cook. Perhaps she’d look into YouTube videos.
In the family room, she flopped onto the couch with her phone and brought up the Internet. For the next hour she went down several rabbit holes looking at content. Music videos. Bloopers. Cooking tips. People playing online games. Drama clips. News. Politics. There was so much to see and catch up on.
There were advertisements for online colleges that caught her attention, and she started wondering. Did she owe it to herself to reintegrate into society? Finish school. Go to college. Find a job. Commute to whatever career she found herself in?Truthfully, that sounded a lot like the box she just left.She freely admitted she had no idea what to do in this world she had been absent from for years. Part of her was resigned about missing the life she could have had and what she would’ve become if she went to school. Attended football games. Homecoming dances and prom. She could’ve had a boyfriend. Friends. Late-night coffee sessions as she stressed over passing her finals. Perhaps she’d have married her college sweetheart. Had a child. Lived a normal life.
The other part reminded her that if she’d had that life, she’d never have met Cross and she didn’t know how that made her feel. She saw the parts of him that were vicious, but he treated her like she was made of glass. She vaguely remembered from the one semester of psychology class she took in high school that there was a term for forming an attachment to a rescuer. What was that called? She went back to her phone and promptly fell down another rabbit hole. There seemed to be a few different terms. Trauma bonding. Codependency to the rescuer. White Knight Syndrome. Rescue Romance Syndrome.
Most people, when freed, would never let someone take over their lives again, but it seemed she wasn’t one of them. If she were brutally honest with herself, she had to admit she liked him taking care of her. The good, the bad, and the ugly. He admitted this house didn’t suit him, but he’d live here anyway if she wanted to. Yes, he made decisions for her, but he had also taken her opinion on some things. From the moment they met, his dominance made her feel safe, but maybe he needed to feel safe as well. Maybe he needed her just like she needed him. Maybe he needed to be dominant.
As she thought about that, she spotted a thumbnail of a woman knitting, and a different memory surfaced. Sitting with her grandmother, who passed away before Costello Birsha came into their lives, watching her knit. She’d tried knitting herself, but could never really grasp a love for it. Lorelei clicked on the video where a woman demonstrated how to perform different types of stitches with different types of needles.
“ Remember, always infuse healing love into whatever you do. You have the power to change lives.”
She tilted her head as her brow furrowed. Had her grandmother known about her so-called gift? If so, how? Puzzled, and wishing she had more answers, she turned off the television. Yawning and stretching, she noticed it was close to midnight. Cross told her to not wait up. That his job now consisted of bouncing at a bar, which closed at two in the morning. He estimated he’d be home around three. She decided to take a nap so she’d be able to hear him when he got home.
It seemed she just closed her eyes when a hand on her shoulder made her jump, scooting away as the memory of Costello Birsha beating her with a baton rolled through her mind. A scream lodged in her throat, unable to escape. She suffered in silence, knowing if she gave him the satisfaction of howling her pain it would feed his demented soul. Her arms came up to protect her head, knowing she exposed her ribs. Better them breaking rather than another concussion.
“Hey, hey, Sweetheart, it’s me. It’s Aera.” A gentle hand ran up and down her arms. “Open your eyes, please. You’re safe. You’re safe.”
The words repeated, over and over, until they sank into her mind and the past slowly faded away. She was with Cross. She was safe. Lorelei opened her eyes and his face came into focus, chasing away the last vestiges of the nightmare. She threw her arms around his neck, never wanting to let him go. Wishing she could tell him how much he meant to her. Maybe this was transference, or whatever the hell psychologists called “falling for your rescuer.” Her experience with that whole side of medicine was tainted so much she refused to think about it anymore.
Suddenly, peace settled through her. One day. One day she promised herself she’d work through all the shit in her head, but only at her own pace. If it took years, so be it. As for now, she refused to let Costello Birsha take up residence in her head. He didn’t own her anymore, and his name would never be thought of again.
She pulled back to look up at him, and opened her mouth to tell him she wanted to live in the present—with him, and without the darkness lingering around the edge of her memories. To do that, at least for now, she had to fully embrace this new life with Cross.
Only, the words got stuck in her throat. For years she bottled up her voice to deny that doctor the satisfaction of hearing her pain, but the sounds refused to come out. The expression on her face must have alerted him to what she was thinking.
“Shh,” Cross whispered. He ran his fingers through her hair, pushing it off her face. “You have all the time in the world to figure things out, and I’m not going anywhere. Okay? I’ve got you.”
Relief soared through her. He got it. He understood without her saying a word. She closed her eyes and nodded, sinking into his arms. Cross kissed her forehead, and from that simple caress, her body heated up remembering how he’d made her feel. His mouth. His touch. She opened her eyes and made a choice, although it had never really been an issue to make.
She wanted him. Wanted to belong to him. Mind, body, and soul. Without any hesitation, she cupped his face and guided his lips to hers. It was like throwing a match into gasoline. Passion so hot it erupted into fire with flames dancing between them.
“Are you sure?” he asked quietly.
She saw the concern in his eyes. The hesitation. Smiling, she nodded, and that seemed to be all he needed. He gripped her shoulders, and in the next moment swept her up into his arms to carry her up the stairs. She stared at him, his strong jaw with the shadow of his beard forming. The bristles were soft beneath her touch.
Cross took her to the master bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him. The room was dark except for the moonlight streaming through the window, illuminating the room in a soft glow. At the side of the bed, he gently placed her on her feet, holding onto her hips as they stared at one another.
“I’m going to take a quick shower to wash off the grime of the bar,” he said.
That was when she glanced down and noticed he had smeared blood on his knuckles. Distress filled her and she grabbed his hand to examine the broken skin.
“I’m not hurt,” he replied to her unasked question. “I just roughed up some people that needed roughing up. You might as well know that this’ll probably happen again.”
She kissed his knuckles, and a second later, his wounds were gone. A shudder rumbled through him. Glancing up, he stared at her with glittering eyes before grasping her hips and pulling her into his body, capturing her mouth in a soul-stealing kiss. When they came up for air, she licked her lips, and his gaze tracked her tongue.
“You’ve got five minutes to figure out if you want me to fuck you or not,” he rasped, his voice deep with lust. “If you don’t, I’ll back off. But if you stay, you’ll be mine completely. Understand?”
She nodded and watched as he turned and headed into the bathroom. Her heart thundered in her chest, and she knew there wasn’t any choice to make. She wanted him. Wanted to belong to him. She dashed to the other bathroom to use the facility, and while washing her hands, stared at her image in the mirror. Flushed cheeks. Dilated pupils. Swollen lips. It already looked like she’d been ravished.
Excitement flooded through her body and she hurried back to the bedroom in enough time to hear the shower turn off. Nerves rattled through her, but they weren’t the awful kind she’d always felt at Noble Vale. These made her giddy. The happy kind of anticipation.
Cross stepped from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his hips, his muscles on full display. Tattoos decorated his chest, his shoulders, and arms. Pure masculine power oozed from every inch of him, and usually that would make her nervous, but not with him. Desire welled up and her hands itched to roam over his sculpted body. To learn what he liked. What turned him and drove him wild. She may still be a virgin but that didn’t mean she hadn’t read romance novels back before she was taken by Birsha.
He walked up to her and brushed a hand over her cheek. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”
Heat filled her cheeks and she gave him a little shrug. She had no idea if she was pretty or not. It wasn’t like she had magazines or privileges on the Internet to figure out beauty. Cross lifted her chin with a finger.
“If you want to stop, just punch me across the face,” he said, grinning.
She rolled her eyes but smiled. Then, the humor faded as he kissed her again. The pressure of his lips forced hers open, and she was lost to the sensation. His hand brushed the side of her breast, trailing down until it reached the hem of her t-shirt. A moment later, she stood before him naked from the waist up, the soft shirt floating to the floor. The back of his hand caressed her tender flesh, his tanned skin stood out in stark relief against her own fairer tone.
The featherlight touch continued down, teasing her. Each whisper on her skin driving her desire higher. He fell to his knees, hooking each thumb on either side of her pajama bottoms to slide them down. After he helped her step out of them, he lightly dragged his short nails up the inside of her legs, until he reached the apex of her thighs. The pads of his fingers grazed the damp patch of her white lace panties, each press against her pussy heavier than the last.
Lorelei bit her bottom lip as pleasure burst through her. She’d never felt something so intense. Before her life turned into a nightmare, she used to giggle with her friends at the thought of masturbation. After, well, she’d been under constant surveillance, and sex was the furthest thing on her mind.
A finger probed her wetness through the lace right before he placed a hot kiss over her mound. Her eyes rolled back into her head. Then the lace moved to the side and a warm tongue licked up her slit. She jumped a little and his hands on her hips tightened, holding her in place. Cross lapped gently at her clit. Heat flushed through her body, and a desperate need pulsed between her legs.
Suddenly, Cross stood and picked her up, tossing her onto the bed. Surprised, Lorelei blinked, thrust abruptly out of the euphoria. She leaned up on her elbows enough to see his towel fall, revealing the rest of his toned body. The deep V-cut of his pelvis led her gaze directly to his very large ... um, member. She was a little nervous to call it by its real name. Cross pulled her panties completely off, then he pushed her legs apart so he could kneel between them. His hands grabbed each butt cheek and he lifted her hips up until she was level with his mouth. A willing sacrifice to his carnal lust.
Then he sucked her clit into his mouth, and her body bowed off the bed. Everything in her head went blank, except for the pure sensation crashing through her. Her body moved independently from her mind, writhing in his grip. He sucked, licked, and when his tongue slid into her virgin hole, she pushed her hips up as something clenched inside. A spring coiling tighter and tighter, until he nipped her clit and she fell off the precipice. A tsunami that enveloped her body in an electric jolt. Her heart pounded in her chest as she shivered in the aftermath.
Cross took his time moving up her body, kissing every patch of skin he touched. At her breasts, he sucked on the turgid peaks, and the pull answered with a pulse in her pussy. How could she want more after that earth-shattering orgasm?
His jade eyes darkened as he met her wide-eyed gaze. “You still want this?”
She nodded.
“I promised I’d never hurt you,” he whispered.
Lorelei cupped his face. It’s okay , she mouthed.
He reached between them, and then she felt the swollen head of his cock push past her pussy lips. The anticipation outweighing any fear she had. The further he eased into her, the more she stretched. It wasn’t exactly painful, but it was uncomfortable. Each time she tensed, he stopped, staring at her. Reading her expression. When she relaxed, he slid in more. Cross took his time, and for that she was thankful because he was a big man.
“I’m all the way in now,” he said in a gruff voice. “You still okay?”
She took a deep breath and nodded.
“I’m going to move now.”
As Lorelei watched him, he watched her. Their gazes held as he slowly withdrew from her body, only to slide back in. She was a little sore, but there wasn’t any pain. His thrusts were measured as he continued to gauge her response. She was in awe. This big, tattooed, biker giant who scared the piss out of most people, was gentle with her. She nodded, letting him know without words that she was okay.
Then he grabbed the back of her knees and spread her legs wide. Pulling it out till only the head was in and then pushing it back in, getting deeper with each stroke. She felt full, but instinct had her moving with him.
“That’s it, Sweetheart,” he murmured. “Fuck me back. Yes, exactly like that. Good girl.”
His praise freed her shy hesitation. There was a need to touch him, so she scraped her short nails up his chest, causing him to groan and briefly close his eyes.
“Yeah,” he said. “Scrape against my nipples.”
She followed his instructions, and he’d grunt each time her nail abraded the turgid peak. The intensity increased as he began to really fuck her with deep, long strokes. Her body tightened once more with each thrust. A fine sheen of sweat popped out on her forehead as she concentrated on finding that orgasmic plateau. Cross increased his tempo, pounding into her pussy, until he buried himself deep into her body and let go. The corded muscles on either side of his neck popped out as he moaned out his pleasure.
She loved watching him come apart.
He leaned his forehead against hers. “Fuck. I just died in your arms.”
Then he reached between them and rubbed her clit. He was still hard, so he pumped a few times as he caressed her. The new stimulation had her climax back into focus. It didn’t take long for her to reach the peak, expanding and filling with unbearable pleasure. Tension built and built, until she was soaring up and up as pulsating bursts of bliss zapped along every nerve.
Her heart thundered as Cross withdrew from her body, turning on his side and pulling her into his body as he spooned her. He kissed the back of her head as exhaustion blurred the edges of her mind, slowly tugging her into dreamland.