Chapter Four
Sadie
I spent all day yesterday in my room. The guys came to my door several times to check on me, but I wouldn’t let them in.
I don’t want to have that conversation with them where they tell me they are sorry they did that, but it can’t happen again.
After that, the awkwardness will roll in, and they will slowly slip away from me.
Everything’s going to end the same, so I may as well just cut it off now.
This morning, I skipped running and got ready for work instead. They won’t notice that I left without them until they get back upstairs and find my note on the kitchen island next to the muffins I made in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep.
I am so fucking nervous about getting this paperwork together.
I love this company, and I love what we have built here, but I won’t survive getting heartbroken by them.
I’ve tried to wish away the feelings for over a decade, but they won’t go away.
As long as I am in the same house and the same building with them every single day, they will never go away.
My life has always been consumed by nothing but them.
How am I supposed to find a normal without them if they are everywhere I look?
Even sitting in my office, there are pieces of them here.
Dean has a habit of taking his tie off after meetings, and those frequently end up in my office. They generally congregate here on lunch as well. I’m sitting at my desk typing notes when I hear movement out in the hallway. I look up to see Mason standing in the doorway of my office.
“You left early,” he says.
“I did,” I say, looking back at my computer.
“Morning,” Dean says suspiciously happily. I glance up at him, and he smiles as he sets a cup of coffee beside my computer.
“Thanks,” I say.
“Since we are all here,” Lance says.
“I have a meeting in a few minutes,” I say.
“Can we talk after meetings?” Dean asks.
“Maybe,” I say flatly.
“Better than no,” he says, gently, squeezing my shoulder before walking to the door.
“Sadie,” Lance says with a sigh.
“Not right now, guys. Just let me do these meetings first,” I say.
“Hi,” Todd says cautiously.
“Is your meeting with Todd?” Lance asks. He knows I’m up to something; I can see it on his face.
“Yeah. Now go, please,” I say. They hesitate but eventually do walk out of my office, shutting the door behind them. “Lock the door, please. They are nosy.”
“What’s this about?” Todd asks as he locks the door and sits down at my desk with me.
“I want to sell my share of the company to the guys and quit. I have a contract with them, and the only way I can get out of it is if they sign off and take my part,” I say. “I just need paperwork for them to sign and a witness to the signature.”
“Why?” he asks.
“Because it’s a legal document,” I say, furrowing my eyebrows at him.
“No. Why do you want to get rid of your part? The four of you grew this company together. Why are you getting rid of it?”
“I am just ready to move on to something else,” I lie.
“That’s a load of bullshit, and you know it,” he says. “Now, I’ve always kept what you tell me between us. The guys know that I will not tell them anything that you tell me. I will draw this paperwork up, but you’re gonna have to explain to me what’s going on.”
“Fine… I am in love with the guys, and I’m fucking terrified of getting my heart broken.
I won’t survive it. I don’t see a life where it’s possible that not only do I get them, but I don’t have to choose,” I say.
“Saturday night, I was rudely reminded by Alex that the reason why I am alone is because I don’t put out, nor have I ever.
This led to the guys admitting that they’ve chased off all of my boyfriends on purpose because they say I deserve better or whatever.
They got me to come out to the living room to watch a movie… ”
“What happened?” he asks when I stop talking.
“They have certain things that they do and have done for a long time. Normally, it doesn’t bother me, but Saturday it did. They’ll either play with my hair, rub my feet, or just have their hands on me in general. It’s been like that since high school,” I say.
“Yeah,” he says, smirking.
“Well… Saturday, it got me… Very worked up, so to speak. Dean… he uh… might have gotten me off,” I say, and Todd smirks. “But I freaked the fuck out and ran away. I stayed in my room until this morning.”
“So now you are completely running away by giving away your share and quitting?” he asks.
“I’m also going to get out of the lease and move,” I say.
“You know that running is not gonna help, right?” he asks.
“If I’m not around them all the time, I can get away from the feelings.”
“I’m sure you could, but they’re not gonna let you do this. If you try to move, they’re just gonna move with you. I meant it when I said they are in love with you.”
“I’m not interested in taking that risk,” I say. “I told you, so please write up the paperwork. I want to give it to them before the meeting so they don’t really have time to argue with me.”
“I don’t think you realize what they will do to keep you from running. They all know this company is your dream,” he says as he pulls his laptop out and opens it.
“I’m not giving them a choice,” I say.
“Good luck with that,” he shrugs. He doesn’t say anything else while he starts typing. A short while later, he hits a button on his laptop before setting it on my desk and standing up. “I have a copy for you, them, and me.”
“Thank you,” I say.
I read over the paper, and it is basically just me saying that I am giving them my share of the company to split evenly, and upon their signature, I am giving my immediate resignation. I sign my name on all the copies before standing and walking out of my office.
Todd follows me to Lance’s office, where he is sitting at his computer typing. I lay his copy in front of him and step back to let him read it.
Lance sighs and sits back in his seat before looking up at Todd. “Don’t look at him. He’s doing his job. Sign it,” I say.
Lance doesn’t say anything. He simply stands up with the paper in his hand and gently squeezes my shoulder before walking out, leaving me to stare at his empty desk.
I was hoping he would just sign it, but I was wrong.
I stay where I am, and a few minutes later, Dean and Mason come in when Lance returns.
I hand their copies to them before stepping away further.
“Todd, can you shut the door?” Dean asks as he reads the paper.
“You guys have a meeting,” I say, specifying that they do, and I don’t. I’m fully prepared to quit today. I have everything organized to make their lives easier.
Mason grabs the receiver of the phone off of Lance’s desk and puts it to his ear before dialing a number.
“Hey, Marlina. We are supposed to have a meeting at nine with the Board of Investors… Yes, well, do you mind letting them know that the meeting has been canceled for today? We will meet with them next week as scheduled… Thanks.”
“Mason,” I sigh when he ends the call.
“Sit,” he says.
“No. Just sign the fucking paper,” I snap.
“I’m not signing shit until you explain to me what’s going on, Sadie,” he says.
“Is this about Saturday?” Dean asks, glancing at Todd.
“He knows. He made me tell him before he would write anything up,” I frown.
“So it is about that,” Dean confirms as he steps closer to me.
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “Don’t do that. Don’t sit there and pretend like it was anything but pity. Just sign the fucking paper so I can leave.”
“Is that what you want? Truly?” he asks as he lifts my chin to make me look at him. The way he’s looking down at me makes me weak in the knees.
“No,” I admit quietly.
“Then why are you doing this?” he asks.
“Because I can’t stand the thought of getting my heart broken by you guys,” I say. “One of these days you’re gonna get girlfriends, wives, and kids. I’ll still be here… alone.” Tears run down my cheeks, and before I can swipe them away, Dean cups my cheeks and wipes them away with his thumbs.
“We’re not signing this paper, Sadie,” he says. “We are not going to let you throw away your dream because you’re scared.”
“Fine, but you’re letting me out of the lease,” I say, still trying to get something out of this.
“No. You’re not running because you’re scared,” he says with a smile. “You should know by now that you can’t run from us, Little Demon.”
“I told her, but she didn’t believe me,” Todd says.
“Yeah,” Lance says. “She’ll understand soon enough that she belongs at home with us.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I ask.
“It means exactly what I just said. You belong with us, Sadie,” Lance says. His face is unreadable when he grabs the papers and rips them apart. Dean puts his hand out for the copy that’s in my hand. I roll my eyes and hand him the papers for him to destroy like the others were.
“Your morning is free now, so take some time to relax,” Dean says. I just nod because I don’t think I’m capable of speaking whenever he looks at me like this.
“Well, I’m going to steal her so she can pay me in crappy office coffee,” Todd says. “Come walk with me, Sadie.” I step back from Dean and put distance between them and me before turning and following Todd out.
We are both silent until we get to the cart outside where they are selling coffee. I get us a cup, and we find a seat away from employees taking their break. “So what’s going on?”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“You literally just told me you were in love with them, Sadie. What’s going on?” he asks. “Anything you say to me stays with me. I know you think that just because I am a guy and they’re guys that I will tell them, but I won’t.”